I have feelings
by ALightInTheDark12
Summary: What happens if something way more than forbidden occurs to the youngest of the villain kids? Jaylos. Carlos' POV.
1. I have feelings

I couldn't stop thinking about this couple while I was watching the movie so I just decided to let my imagination run wild and free, and I was thinking of making this one-shot for another fandom, but the ideas led me to them and I couldn't stop, so I hope you enjoy it.

I would settle it a few time before the four of them were sent to Auradon, also this isn't my first story, but it is the first one that I write of them, so don't hate me that much :)

(And just to mention that English isn't my first language, so please be nice).

* * *

 **I have feelings**

I wake up right before my alarm clock decides to harmonize the whole house with its unsubtle at all sound, but today I don't do it because of the startle that strikes me most of the mornings, this time is because mom decided to get up early and talk to the stuffed thing hanging around her neck while I hear her coming and going forth and back on the hallway outside my room, grunting and also dropping loud laughter, forgetting entirely about me and that I went to sleep almost at three of the morning for fulfilling another of her long lists of orders.

Disadvantage of a mother… I don't know how to call her, so I'll just say that she's 'different': the stuffed thing has more privileges than me, whichever I can think of that thing has it first.

I force myself to get up and take a dramatically short shower because the hot water supply isn't and never will be the best that we'll have on the Isle of the Lost. I look at myself in the mirror when I end up getting dressed, and I can swear that freckle on the bridge of my nose wasn't there yesterday, but there are so many of them that I shouldn't stop to think about how many shows per day.

While I quickly go down the stairs, avoiding tripping over some of the long pieces of furry fabric that mom decided to left lying there on the staircase, I can feel that I'm in the middle of a weird good spirit, strange thing if I reconsider for a moment the kind of things that I had to live, where do I live and with who I live, adding that I should be hurrying up to go to 'school', which means reaching considerably late to a substantially empty classroom and listen to some teacher's nonsenses that ultimately will give up and also will leave the building while I look out the window to those who decided to ditch out school and prefer to burn rubbish bins or do any other form of vandalism. We're the children of villains any way, they can't hold us back.

But anyway I just simply can't name exactly the reason why I'm feeling like this today.

When I set a foot in the kitchen I can see mom giving to that stuffed thing a piece of raw meat, like if it really were going to eat it. I roll my eyes and walk to one of the cabinets, I take the first thing I can find with my touch and when I look at what I could find I can't help but frown.

Oatmeal cookies never seemed to me a good breakfast, at least not without accompanying them with something else, but if I think that they're close to their expiration date and that surely the fridge is empty then I choose to not be so demanding.

People in Auradon should have food that isn't close to reaching its expiration date along with lots and lots of stored food in cabinets, refrigerators, cupboards, etc. I can't imagine what it would be to live in there, surrounded by good, friendly and warm people, who will surely show affection and place their hands on the shoulders of those people who are needed of a little encouragement to keep going on.

Also… dogs, Auradon must have hundreds of thousands of dogs wandering around. They should know that at any time they all will turn against them and will not hesitate to rip out their throats with their sharp fangs and claws that would kill whoever in there with a simple movement.

Horrible, simply horrible.

"I hope you did the orders I asked you to, Carlos" she says, barely looking up a bit to make sure I'm here.

"All are made, mom" she gets tense at that moment and moves her free hand to reach for something in the pockets of her furry coat. «Screw it with the good spirit», I internalize while giving a bite to one of the cookies.

"It's good you mention that, because I have some more for you" she walks closer out of nowhere and stretches her hand so suddenly that I almost feel a slap on my face. It wouldn't be the first time, and neither will be the last one.

I open my left eye before kind of sigh of relief and lower my guard when I see a piece of paper at the end of her stretching hand, which she moves strongly for me to take it at that moment.

When I unfold it I can see lots of things that I have to do when I come back home, which goes from scrubbing floors (which I did yesterday), laundry (which I also did yesterday) and all the household chores that surely the mothers and some occasional fathers of Auradon are dedicated to make while their children are in school or doing anything else that good people do.

And all that it's culminating in that, the worst job in the world: foot massage and pedicure, and it almost seems to be highlighted in thick black letters, written by the hand of a maniac of sewing, skinning animals and turn them supposedly on the last thing of fashion.

"But I made most of all this stuff yesterday, mom" I say, folding the paper and sliding it into one of the back pockets of my shorts. I finish up with the cookie and before I can take the next one her hand knocks then down mercilessly to the dirty floor.

«Dammit».

"Don't be insolent with me, Carlos, I'm your mother and you have to do what I command you to" her gaze finds mine and she looks at me in a way so fixed that it might be a good competition for the green eyes of Madame Maleficent.

"But mo-…".

And there it is, that slap that I've been waiting for finally decides to make its stellar appearance, sending a jolt of pain all over my right cheek while I also can feel that some of the vertebrae in my neck are cracking by the almost superhuman strength she has in her hands.

I dare to look at into the eyes again and her gaze, fixed on me with greater intensity, which makes me move back a couple of steps. I don't know why I have the strange feeling that in this same way must feel those canine beasts that she has in the basement before she waves a knife on them and takes their fur.

"Mom…" I say, running out of breath and wishing I hadn't set a foot out of bed.

"Listen to me, Carlos" she clenches her jaw and it almost seems that she's going to break her teeth for it. She moves forward a few steps, the same that I move back, "I'm in no mood to deal with your stupid games today, so I want everything I gave to you to be done for the end of the day. Got it?".

I break our eye contact and the wall with which I just crashed against seems to me the most amazing decor of the whole universe, with that paint about to fall completely and the thick dust blanket that covers it, along with the bodies of some spiders she has crushed.

I close my eyes tightly while I take a deep breath, trying to think that I'm brave and the urge that I have to let go to cry (one of the many signs of weakness) is simply an itching sensation in my nose and that it will go away if I simply don't focus on it.

This moment is one in which I wish to have another lifestyle, maybe not in the strange world that Auradon is, but one where at least my mother isn't crazy and she treats me in a more human way than that stuffed thing.

"No" I snap out shakily while I open my eyes and go back to make eye contact with her.

And again it happens that my attempt to set some limits just like trying to be brave is in vain when a second slap now stains with some crimson tone the other side of my face. I trace a circle with my jaw to make sure that there's no fracture in it and my eyes get moisten a little bit, I blink a lot of times to retain them to burst out.

"Why are you doing this, mom?" I clear my throat to try to suppress the trembling in my voice, her hand takes me by the nape and her forehead collides with mine with such a deep sound that I fear I'll faint.

"Because I can".

Her hand release her grip just a little, barely enough so I can move her arm away and go out running, ducking to take my pack of almost-stale cookies. I quicken my pace when I hear her heels running after me along with some deep growls, I take the small backpack that hangs behind the front door and open it with one swift motion, jumping the necessary steps to get to the street and start running.

"Carlos!" I turn my head to make sure of her face of extreme rage, I allow myself a small smile while I stop to look at my masterpiece on the morning. "Come back here, you little piece of…!".

I turn around next to a house and fortunately I don't finish hearing her little insult. I doubt that many mothers devote those kinds of words to their children before starting the day, another disadvantage to the long list of disadvantages of a special mother.

I place the backpack on my shoulders and start walking with my head down, still feeling some pain in the cheeks, but nothing compared to the pain compressing my chest. What have I done to mom to treat me like that? I haven't been more than, metaphorically speaking, a puppy at the mercy of being subjected to blows if I choose not to obey some of her orders since I can remember.

I take another cookie, one more about to end up with them, when another lots of ideas pops in my head. I'm beginning to get tired of this kind of life, I have to keep in mind that anything I do at home and outside will never be enough for me to achieve such an important change in my life.

I need a change of perspective, discover new horizons. Now Auradon doesn't seem a so grim place, but still it isn't my biggest ideal.

Before I can take the last cookie someone snatches the package from my hands, before I can protest a hand finds a place in my head and that prevents me from both keep moving forward than to look at who just take what little I could take for breakfast.

"Hey! That's…!" I stop talking when I notice that leather outfit I've seen since the beginning of time. I roll my eyes and hear him while he devours the last cookie with a single bite.

"Hey you" I lift my head at the right time when Jay decides to remove his hand from my head, he gives me a wry smile while he crosses his arms.

I try not to focus on the muscles in his arms and keep walking with my shoulders shrugged, but that doesn't stop him to decide to follow me, or rather that he walks with me, supposedly this is the time when he should walk with me to get to school, where surely Mal and Evie are planning some new kind of evil thing, or they decided to ditch out too.

"Bad morning, huh?".

"And it's just starting" I shrug my shoulders more and keep walking with my eyes on the ground.

Right now is when I wish I had a place where I could stay for the night, with the mood with which I left mom I can't go back, and even if I can finish her list of orders it will not be enough to lighten her mood; she will find a reason to beat me, she always does…

"You know, it's not something _that_ bad" he says, placing an arm around my shoulders, I turn my head a little to the right so I can see his smile of extreme confidence, "you can say that your cheeks are of that color due to the cold".

I push him in a friendly way and recover some of the good spirit with which I woke up, but it overwhelms me a bit that this strange and new sensation that's triggered when I'm around Jay now becomes a little more intense.

While we walk I remember to myself a thousand times that it's wrong that I feel this way, not in the aspect of having weird sensations for a guy, almost everyone in here establish such kind of relationships (the one-night thing) with anything that moves, even him. But what I remember back a thousand times is that it's impossible I can have… ugh! That, feelings.

Yes, I've already said it and admit it, I do so mentally as in silence obviously, that to avoid being lighten up in fire outside the home of Madame Maleficent while she sits to enjoy the show. Even when her proclamation as queen of the Isle of Lost was self-realized I don't see that there is or that there will be someone who opposes to it, not if they want to deal with all the fury of an evil fairy without magical powers.

To my head also comes the image of my mother if something like that comes to happen, who will likely be suffering because she will not have another child to whom she can torment, I'm sure that she will find the way to replace me.

"Watch out!" Jay says, taking my right shoulder and pulling me so hard that I fall to the ground. I think it would be better if I just crashed against the wall that I had in front of me, as it was going to happen if he didn't intervene.

"You could be more careful the next time" I get up and shake off the dust that just stuck to my clothes. Another load to the laundry I'll have to make when I get back home.

"Did you just ask me to be careful? Seriously?" he arches his right eyebrow and crosses his arms again, I look away.

"Whatever".

I cling to the straps of the backpack and start walking, with Jay stepping at my heels. While we walk I hear the zipper of the backpack opening while I also hear people from the nearby counters to us asking to themselves where is the ring that they just placed there, or the comb with diamonds that was over there for display, or that ancient book full of spells they were about to be sold.

The question that takes the gold is that one which comes when he decides to take lamps, which makes no sense since there is no magic in this place, so I still think that Jafar's quest is in vain.

The backpack begins to become increasingly heavy, I hate being the assistant in his lootings, but it's not like if he was willing to teach me how to steal. I've asked him a few times and all of them end up in him laughing in my face.

I can't deny that I like the sound of his laugh…

I bite my left cheek and keep walking with a quick step, now school really seems like a place where I would like to be.

"Hey, wait!" I turn around in an alley that's fortunately empty.

I stand still near the wall and stretch the right foot, holding my breath, luckily my plan becomes a reality and Jay stumbles, falling down to the floor and rolling in a certain and weird way until he strikes a couple of trash bags, tossing lots of small gray feathers up into the air and knocking down some slightly smaller containers of garbage.

"Now we're even".

He growls while he stands up, like some kind of monster that lives in the garbage and had just been awakened from a nap from a thousand years, just how Aurora would earn it. I smile with some pride in my act and walk the necessary steps to get closer to him, I reach out and he looks at it with a frown, then he looks at me.

What's going on today?

"Oh, right" I pull back my hand and go back to adjust the backpack on my back, hating the fact that I might be his partner in his robbery but he decides to keep all the fun.

"Whatever".

While he spits some feathers that got stuck in his mouth while he spoke, and those that stuck to his clothes, I have in mind that the smile that I have at this time is no longer due to my little vandalism. I'm smiling for seeing him while he removes a few feathers off his long locks of hair, which I'd like to do instead… what the hell is going on with me?!

"I was planning to ditch out anyway, you coming with me?" he asks while he walks out of there as the new king of the garbage; the King of Thieves; ironic comparison if I stop to think about it.

"No… I don't know…" I move into my place, somewhat uncomfortable about the situation I'm trying to keep afloat, if there is something to keep afloat. The silence between us now seems to completely ignore that there are people walking around less than a meter away from us.

Even when school turns down into a boring place I like to be curious in some of the books that Auradon throws in the trash, books that are no longer updated and with which, I suppose, they want to maintain some level of education in the nicest people that could step in this land.

Long live evil, right?

"I know a place where we could spend the day".

He gets so close to me I can feel the heat emanating from his body along with some kind of smell that I find sweet, repugnant, at the same time I want to stay around as long as it's necessary until I can't take it anymore. I step back a little until the backpack and the wall prevents me.

"I guess that's okay, or whatever" his smile widens and for a second I forget everything while I see he smiles so much that it even reaches his eyes.

Is that normal? Although if I think back on the kind of things that have been emerging in my head then I have no right to talk about normality.

He moves away and begins to walk on the empty side of the alley, allowing me to breathe a little calmer. «Get yourself together, Carlos, it's just another day of ditching school and find ways to torment the world with Jay, you've done it lots of times before».

But then I didn't have this sensation.

"You coming?" he asks over his shoulder.

I regain my composure and start walking, watching the movement of his body with every step, how his hair moves in all directions, how people appearing at the intersections of the other alleys walk back while he passes, even the barrier seems to increase his level of evilness.

I will not eat stale cookies again.

* * *

After about half an hour walking I can see that we're approaching to the forest, the place where the tree trunks are white and never have leaves, the grass is yellow and only can be heard the wails of the people who were brought here to be cruelly murdered. It's not something that turns out to be flashy, it happens all the time, in fact if it stops happening then it would become suspicious.

"Do we have to keep walking?" I complain, the first time I open my mouth since the alley. I like to walk, but not in an up and filled with burrows way while the only thing I see if I look up is his broad back.

"Yeah, and if you keep complaining it will take us more ".

"It's the first time I complain".

"And I hope it's the last one".

"Shut up, you're a lousy thief anyway" I growl and take a little jump to avoid another burrow.

"And you're a complainer who has never done anything evil, besides that you are afraid of dogs, so you shut up".

"I've done evil things!" I exclaim, although I could give him the reason, which I will not do.

"Destroy things that were already destroyed doesn't count as an evil thing".

I guess he will never let me forget the fact that I decided to throw rocks at the windows of a house that was already otherwise empty, and that was demolished shortly after he appeared to say that there was no point in it.

"I made you fall, that counts".

"Screw you" he lifts the middle finger of his right hand and keeps walking, now stomping. Victory for the boy in black, white and red.

It's not the first time in which we spoke to each other in that way, all the time we dedicate to each other words and actions with the same level of aggressiveness, which is funny because Evie thinks we're always angry with each other. It's not like if there was another way to treat each other, here being evil is nice, and it's not like if I wanted to change something of that.

Even if whatever that throws those weird sensations in me today doesn't want to remain inactive.

"I'm exhausted, also that I'm carrying whatever that you decide to steal today" I hear him growling from the deeps in his throat, "I don't want to keep walking anymore".

"School starts in fifteen minutes so you have these options: you can turn around and go back, complaining all that you want in the way, or also you can keep walking and stop making any noise. You choose" he sighs and turns on his heels, noticing for the first time that I'm not as close as I assumed I would be with all of this inside my head. "Personally I like the first option, but if everything depended on me I'd choose the second one".

I bite my lower lip and step slightly closer to him, looking back and forth thinking about the options he had just gave me while I also take off my backpack from shoulders.

I prefer a thousand and one times to be anywhere while I stay away from mom, but I also did something like a kind of personal vow to seek a way to get out of this devilish place. But this is our home, so I'll scratch that thought.

"You'll not get rid of me so easily" I toss the backpack towards his chest, knocking him back a little, and I start running down the road while I jump up to avoid the burrows.

I hear him whispering a few insults in my direction but I also hear that he decides to follow me, and although I'm not sure where I'm going to, or whether if he's going to slice my throat with a knife when we get to wherever we're going, the simple fact of feeling the warm morning wind against my face and hear his boots while he comes after me makes me keep moving forward.

The breeze hitting my face is a feeling that is highly relaxing, there's no point of comparison with this time with those I could have had previously of relaxation. I feel free and carefree now.

When I get to a top part of the hill I can see that a little more beyond there's an old structure, which I guess was once used to keep an eye on whatever that was in the part where the white trunks abound more and no one dares to enter, before when there was someone who kind of cared about the safety of the others. Isle of Lost, I mustn't forget it.

"Too slow!" he yells while passes next me, hitting my shoulder.

I return to resume the momentum to keep running, watching him while his long hair moves in all directions and I find myself forced to keep ordering to my legs to reach him at all costs.

I can almost feel that I have something like mind control when he stumbles upon a raised root, I wanted him to stop somehow, and I can't help but tease him while he spits some dirt while he stands up, at which I again keep running. This weird day is beginning to improve, and there is nothing I want more than to stop having these strange sensations.

I can't remember the exact moment when I started having them, but I do remember when they began to become more intense and constant. That was about four months ago, when we ventured into one of the darkest caverns of the entire isle, almost at midnight and without any kind of light, a rock fell down of nowhere and a flock of bats decided to undertake frying, moment when I almost ran away until his arms attracted me to his body and he whispered in my ear that there was nothing to fear, that he would be there to prevent that such things will drain my blood.

I think I'm exaggerating a bit those things a little for giving them that interpretation, but I'm one hundred and one times completely sure it really happened, and that's what started it all.

"Y-you brought me here to see a w-watchtower about to fall?" he growls and stands next to me, opening the backpack and pulling out two containers with fresh water inside, I drink it almost with three huge gulps.

"Not the watchtower, there are many like this all over the place" I focus myself to look at the structure while I frown, huge expenditure of energy for nothing", I wanted to show you this".

He places two fingers on my chin and makes me to turn my head until I almost turn around, watching what's behind me.

I look up to see the whole scene… and… it's amazing. The trees creates a semicircle, with every neighborhood in the lower part, allowing widely see all Auradon, that if the barrier wasn't there. To some extent it's funny to see how the dark neighborhoods are trying to cope with the high and bright castles and houses of the kingdom, highlighting again that we are that part of the personality and the world that nobody wants to be around. We're awesome.

I'm glad to live a little away from all that chaos and good people.

The sun is in a high point in the west, but it's not as bright as it should, it almost seems to be as tired as the people who have to get up to go to school, or those who go to work, or those who have lunatic mothers who that anyway would find a cruel way to wake up their children after spending hours doing housework given by them. I let out the air in my chest for such a show, that's outstanding and everything ahead.

"So? What do you think?" he stands next to me, closer to me, I guess his shoulder would be touching mine if we were of the same height.

"It's amazing" it surprises me all this almost natural wonder, and I shouldn't be doing so.

"Yeah it is, but I think there's a word that can describe how amazing it's what I'm looking at" I hear him swallowing hard.

"What…?".

I turn my head and the tip of his nose is on mine, he had to duck his head for that to happen, his brown eyes are glassy and his cheeks are flushed slightly. I freeze on the spot to having him so close. I smile to him and completely turn my head to look at what's behind me, just a bunch of trees and the watchtower in there.

"I was looking at you" his warm, rough hand takes my cheek to make me look back at him, his forehead being pressed against mine. "Have to ask, was that freckle already there in the bridge of your nose?" I wasn't expecting him to notice it, and I don't know how to react about it.

"I think it appeared there last night while I was sleeping".

Neither in my wildest dreams had I imagined to have two natural wonders so close to me on the same day: the isle surrounded by the dying forest and the barrier besides Auradon as an addition, both of them forming an almost fully functional cohabitation. I neither imagined that I would have the brown eyes of my best friend a few centimeters away from mine.

I move away my nose and look to the horizon again, I hear him laughing and he's still standing next to me.

Could it be that Jay has sensations for me? It seems impossible to me, I mean, he's incredibly popular among the girls, I even heard from some guys saying that he's very handsome, muscular and that he seems to move fine in the matter of having night action. Many of them haven't been unable to see how attentive, weirdly affectionate, funny, arrogant, evil and cruel besides the great person he can become if you know him deep inside.

However this isn't something that's needed to be discussed at this time, not when the sensations are being present, they're taking my breath away and all I want to do now is going back to that cavern and don't leave until all this has disappeared from once and for all.

"Jay?" I don't know if I should ask him, but something in me wants to know that I have exclusivity. But it's Jay, dammit, when he stops flirting with a girl there are four others in his waiting list.

"I hear you, Carlos" I bite the inside of my cheeks with a little more force than the necessary.

"How many girls have you brought here?".

Asking him about how he feels about me seems to be something very out of place now, now and always being in a place like the Isle, but in the inside I'm dying to know it, I'm dying to even know if he feels something more than just a sensation of incredible friendship for me, which is more than a fact if I have in mind that we have been friends almost from the day we started walking, though he's older than me for two years. However the question I just asked him is much worse than what I might think, and I didn't thought of it before asking it, but I want to know which number do I represent in his list of… dating? Conquers? One-night stands? Whatever it is that I am for him.

"Come here".

He entwines his right hand with my left and he makes me to walk. I can almost feel like I'm floating, and he should feel that my hand is trembling because of the fact that his is entwined with mine. We walk down a bit from the side of the hill, too steep for my taste, he walks in front of me with firm steps and making strength in his hand for me to not fall and die if I roll down to the end.

Why the hell am I thinking this way?

The stale cookies, definitely it's because of those things.

In the lower part of the hill there's a flat land, surrounded by trees without foliage and with yellow grass, which has an attempt of a fence to keep anything that lives in there away from the other people. Everything of that gives a kind of sinister look to the situation, and I don't stop denying that the whole thing is quite striking to the eye.

Jay collapses on the floor and pulls his legs together as much as he can against his chest, he looks at me for a moment, smiling with the same arrogance as always and pats the space next to him. I collapse in there without a second thought, really close to him; stupid stale cookies.

"I've never brought a girl here before, I came here on one of my explorations" he stays quiet for a moment, I turn my head just enough for him to appear in my visual field. "I wanted that the first person that watched this place with me was you".

I turn my head completely, the time when I can notice that he directed those words to me. I look at him straight in the eye and I know he's not telling me a lie, if he was he wouldn't looked at me, because even when he is how he is he's not very good to sustain a lie. We both smile and I can help but look to another place, feeling that something warm takes over my cheeks. «No, no, a thousand times no».

A huge flock of white birds goes to and fro in groups, like if something was following them, without departing from each other too much, just barely enough to be able to move.

I again focus my gaze forward when all I hear is the wind hitting the bare trees and his breathing. Auradon must have some kind of festival or something, I can see huge banners moving from one side to another, and in the end some fireworks. Somewhere I heard that the son of Queen Belle and King Beast was going to be proclaimed as king, but I didn't think it was going to be so soon, that if all the fuss is because of that.

And again I think back to how weird it would be live in a place like Auradon, full of festivities for anything, even someone's falling might be worthwhile for a huge party because he stood up to move on! It seems stupid to me but at the same time I'd like something like that to take place here.

Among so many thoughts I move my head to the right, falling on his shoulder and letting out something that they call as a sigh, something that I don't understand where it comes from, that if I try to find some rationality in it, but it's the fact that right now I'm so calm which makes me to let it out.

I close my eyes for a moment and I can feel how he begins to place his head on mine, I move away immediately from whatever that now just take over my chest and look away so he can't see me blushing.

"I-I'm sorry… I didn't m-meant to do that…" my stuttering isn't helping me at all. «Dude, you're a villain, you can't say you're sorry».

"You can do it again, it doesn't bother me at all".

I stare at him while he turns his gaze to look straight ahead. I look at him from his hair down to his face, the cocky smirk he always keeps in his lips, the line of his jaw, his neck, his chest, shoulders and arms, all that until I finally come down to his boots, and then I look back at Auradon.

Maybe, just maybe, these sensations wouldn't be unwelcome there.

"Give me the backpack" I had almost forgotten it was on my shoulders, I take it off and handed it to him. "Let's watch today's earns".

I look at the tips of my boots while he begins to name the things that he could take and orders them in an almost compulsive scheme, which I know almost as the palms of my hands: shiny things, jewelry and straps made of leather on the top row, which regularly he retains for himself; a few trinkets that some people consider as valuable on the right side, which he gives as gifts occasionally to Evie; some books and scrolls that looks promising on the left side, surely those are for Mal; things for Jafar's store (the lamps goes in there) in the bottom section, the section that always has more objects.

The last time there was something for me while he was checking his loot it was placed at the bottom. This time there's nothing, and it was so long ago that I can't remember what he gave me.

"I don't remember having stolen this" he says, sniffing deep in the backpack, I turn my head to see him get a red beanie from the inside.

I take a look at it and the memory of having done that thing as a peace offering (because Jay had got pissed off with me, again, by asking him to teach me how to steal) appears back in my memory. I think that was the first time when I really felt really bad for having made him so angry, enough to use a sewing machine from mom to do it.

"Looks good?" he asks, using a new purr in his voice, one that he hadn't even used with someone of the Isle.

"I-I think so, it's yours anyway" he arches his right eyebrow slightly and settles his hair behind his ears. "I did it while I was watching mom knitting and I was going to give it to you, I don't wear those things anyway".

"You knitted a beanie for me?" he tries to contain his laughter with every word, I shrug my shoulders and it's like if a dark cloud was placing above me. "Is there anything else you want to share with me? Cooking, embroidery, maybe beauty lessons? Something of that sort of things?".

His loud laughter makes me feel so overcome by my own attempts to get away from all this that I choose to do that to me goes so well, find a way to get out. I get up and start walking, I cross my arms and now it looks like a hellish cold just hit the isle when we are not even close to noon. This is just too much for a person like me.

"If you get lose in there don't expect me to go in to get you" he says, releasing something as an exhalation of relief. I would do the same if I had to deal with a fourteen year old who doesn't have the long history of villainy than he, or the girls.

I sometimes feel excluded from my own group of friends, if I consider back that Mal and Jay have been friends since like forever, also that Evie sees me more as something that has to be rescued all the time than a person. It's annoying the fact that I want things that since our naturally we can't give, being bad is part of our lives forever.

"This isn't about you, Jay".

"Of course it is" he snaps, that makes me want to sink into the ground, "that's why you're running away from me".

"For the record I'm not running away from you" I finally stop and turn on my heels, I shrug my shoulders when I notice that the long distance I thought I was taking was about fifteen steps. "I'm running away from me".

"Anyway I suggest you to come back here, so if you want to stay alive".

I roll my eyes, but since I'm in the forest he's right. I shrug my shoulders even more and drag my feet until I stand beside him, he jumps up and hugs me in the way I wanted someone to hug me for a very long time, in an unexpected way but at the same time feeling that I needed that nearby from someone. We villains have needs anyway.

My arms tremble as they lie as things lifeless at my sides, I don't know if I should stay still or continue fighting against the impulses that orders me to pull him together to my body and never let him go. I stay with the first option.

I take a deep breath (because I refuse to think that it can be translated in another way) and he releases me, but something inside me makes me to move slightly forward for not wanting to lose him.

"There's something about I want to talk to you".

"Then talk".

We go back to where his loot lays, under the little shade that provides the watchtower, while hundreds of ideas and words pops into my head, the words with which we're supposed to move away and never feel for seeking to be the opposite of what a good person is, a hero, a person from Auradon.

"Jay… I'm weak, I'm becoming in someone weak" sitting by his side I have the feeling of being a little dizzy from all this in my head, or perhaps it's due by the stale breakfast, "and because I honestly don't find a way to make it go away I hope you don't laugh in my face".

His hand slides down my neck and up to one of my cheeks, he makes me turn my head to the right and I think it's the first time in which he treats me in a way somewhat human, the same way in which he approaches to a girl to get something from her. He smiles and that warm feeling in my cheeks is much more present while I have his eyes looking straight at me.

"I have… I have sensations… no, it's not that, I have feelings…" I try to regain some of my mind while at the same time I can feel that his eyes are trying to decipher what's in my head right now, "I have feelings for you…".

His eyes gets widen a little when I finish talking, his smile widens a bit more and that's when I look away from him, the laughter is about to start. I pull my legs closer as much as I can against my chest and place my forehead on my knees, thinking that I'm not fast enough to climb to the top up to the upper part of the watchtower, neither enough to run back to the alley and hide under the bags of feathers.

Why do I have to admit it?

Perhaps it's because now I don't feel that something compresses my chest, and it even seems that my ideas have been clarified somewhat. I think it's a similar sensation when a big secret is admitted. This was my big secret, and now that he knows it I don't think I can hear the end of his taunts.

Why do I have to admit it?

He approaches towards me, his body is completely next to mine, he places his arm around my shoulders and takes my left cheek, he moves his hand a little and again my head is on his shoulder, and now his head gets placed over mine. His fingers begin to make smooth movements on my nape, the movement is surprising but I don't swerve. I like it.

"That's stupid" something like a pang compresses my chest, "but it's also a relief because I have feelings for you too, and if that means I'm weak then I'll face whoever is necessary to keep it that way".

"Even if that 'whoever' is Madame Maleficent?".

He stays quiet, he's smart enough to know that there's no way in which he can get out alive from a confrontation like that, and if it's not she then he would have to face Jafar, or Cruella, any villain of this whole isle. Besides he just called stupid to what I just admitted, and I'm sure the talk that followed it was merely to forget all about it, and I appreciate that since I wouldn't have been able to escape in this position.

Jay just can't have feelings, surely this would be about another of those short relationships in which he's an expert to get something, however small it is that he can get from me. Jay just can't have feelings, he can't feel anything for me, he can't…".

"Even if I have to face her".

I raise my head while our eyes meet for a few seconds and I shake my head away almost immediately, I stop breathing.

Doubting? Of course. Who wouldn't if they were in the same situation with the same background, the same context and the same catastrophic thoughts that pops into my head for even thinking about being so close?

"Don't play like that with me, that's all I ask".

"Carlos, I swear I'm not playing with you. I also have feelings for you, let me show you".

I close my eyes too hard since another tingle of tears is threatening to attack me, this time I can't cope it because there's not that touch of courage that there should have, like when I wanted to try it at home. Jay is somehow telling me the truth, but I don't dare to look at him to check it, so I have no other choice but to resort to it: resignation.

"Fine, mayb-…" I turn my head, and that's the most I can do.

He kisses me.

His lips get placed over mine, slowly, like if he knew that he's taking away my first kiss in this very moment. His lips making those slight pressures against mine produce that the whole universe gets reduced to him and me, here and now; us. His soft and experienced lips are moving against mine, completely inexperienced, and right now is what interests me less, or in which he's less interested at all, Jay is responding to what I kept as a secret and unique for me. Since when have he discovered this new side of him?

We tilt our heads to the right and I lift a hand to cup his cheek, wishing that right now I wasn't wearing my favorite pair of red gloves, I close my eyes slowly when he pushes himself a little more forward, his nose hits my cheek like mine against his, and when he sighs it's when my arms surrounds his head, without splitting for an instant.

While Jay's lips are still pressing against mine in a slow and cautious way I don't know how to do it. It feels like one of those experiences that one hopes to repeat over and over and over again for a lifetime, in which I would like to participate at all costs. I finally he let out a sigh that I was keeping in my chest.

"And you dared to doubt about me" I open my eyes and I can say I've seen all the wonders of the world to see a blush on his cheeks. I kiss the tip of his nose and that makes him to drop a little laugh.

"Shut up and kiss me again".

He smiles with his touch of arrogance and goes back to press his lips against mine, cupping my cheeks and sighing with much more freedom, that makes me feel butterflies in the stomach. I've never imagined I could think such a cheesy thing. However all this is something that I like, and very much: I like feeling how he strokes my cheekbones with his thumbs, I like his nose crashing against my cheek, I like the movement of his lips on mine; I like that there are feelings in this, mine over his, his over mine… our feelings. I could stay here forever and what's beyond.

"I told you following them would worth it, E" says Mal, making Jay to growl.

I open my eyes and see her approaching, she crosses her arms when she's a few feet away and purses her lips into a gesture that only she has developed over the years. Evie appears behind her, she places next to her and with a wide smile, showing each one of her white teeth.

"You owe me ten bucks" Evie takes a mirror out of the pockets of her coat, to make her believe that she's ignoring her while she settles her lip gloss.

"Ladies don't bet, M".

"Let me guess, your mother's words?" Evie blows a kiss to the mirror and keeps it, then she places both of her hands on her waist.

"Laws of decency, you should read them occasionally".

"I hope you have a very good reason for being here" I say, sounding annoyed with them for the first time before they can continue with their unnecessary discussion. Jay nudges me in the ribs and I can't help but laugh.

"The alleged thief and the coward from the dogs having feelings in the farthest section of the Isle of the Lost. Do you have _any_ idea what people would say if they knew a word of it?" Mal smiles, Jay takes a handful of dirt and throws it on her clothes.

"Mal, leave them alone. Maybe what you really need is a boyfriend, feeling something like what they have now".

What they have now? I choose not to think about it and focus on the fact that Jay's hand is moving in my back, tracing slow circles that make me sigh more than once while I listen to their discussion. I want them to be away as farthest as it can be possible from us. Now.

"Ugh, no thank you, I'd rather waste my time on something else, like pissing children or in school, which will not happen".

In all that new discussion, in which Jay decides to take part now, I hear that the girls plan to do something in the neighborhood since we have to kill the time we have to invest in school.

He hands them their corresponding parts of his loot and keep the rest in the backpack, we both stand while they are the first ones to start moving, before I can step forward he places a hand in my right shoulder and makes to turn on my heels to watch him straight in the eye. I bite my lower lip a little.

"I could give something to you, but you already have it".

"Feelings?" he arches an eyebrow.

"Me, of course, you wanted something else?" I roll my eyes.

"I hope to not meet someone like you in the future… no one else…"-

He closes his eyes and leans forward, I turn around and start walking, I hear the groan like if he had exhaled it directly into my ear.

"Carlos, wait" he says, drawing my attention again while I turn in my heels. "I hate you".

I could almost swear that he meant that, for the deep tone in his voice and the seriousness of his position, but what takes away that touch of credibility to the moment is that small smile that tights his lips and the barely distinguishable wink he made with the right eye.

I move back the steps that I went up and I don't stop looking at him into the eyes for a single second, not even when I stand in front of him, or when I get up on my toes to at least try to be at his height. The only moment when I break our eye contact is when I close my eyes and lean down for his lips to be placed again on mine.

"I hate you too".

I hear a snort coming from Mal while I'm totally sure that it's Evie who's releasing small shrieks of joy, or from whatever that makes her to produce that sound so sharp.

This is all new, everything in which I came to believe that shouldn't exist in the universe now lies here, between us, it's too big for someone about my size can bear it; it's something forbidden if I place it in the words I hear saying in all the people of the Isle of the Lost.

I never thought that breaking one of the most important rules of the villains could take me to an incredible situation.


	2. Is there something between us?

I completely enjoyed the reception I had with this one-shot, so I'm deciding to turn it into a complete story, of course that I still have to think about some details, especially since I want to write a story that is a part _so_ very romantic and the other one _extremely_ tragic (of which I'm still not quite sure); meanwhile I would like to continue reading what you feel and think with your favs, follows and reviews, so I hope you enjoy it :)

* * *

 **Is there something between us?**

Without a doubt the notification of Madame Maleficent about the four of us to be sent to Auradon Prep is something that can piss off anyone, also considering the fact that we will be there input through output, everything just to get a stupid magic wand so she can control good and evil at her will. Correction, to the will of our parents.

I catch my breathing while I decide to struggle and have a chat with Jay while we dock the reservation of candy that has the bold limousine that was ordered to enter to the Isle. Only Mal, Evie, Jay and I will be able to step on those lands plagued of good people and situations they could put any villain uncomfortable. Only the four of us, mom will stay here while we do the mission of life or death, or perhaps until Madame Maleficent can destroy the barrier. Whatever it is, I'm free from her for the next few hours, a great relief and a weight that disappears from my small and weak shoulders.

"Look!" Evie screams, attracting everyone's attention.

The barrier, that thing that keeps us imprisoned like rats is there, glowing with that sickly and aberrant yellow color, to which we're approaching more and more. I'm sure I'm not the only one who begins to think that all those stories of people disintegrating when they touch it are real.

"It's a trap!" I answer, causing panic to explode.

Jay decides to become the protector of all of us, as usual as it happens when something dangerous endangers us all four. His arm makes a firm grip around my neck while I guess that he does the same with Mal and Evie; the uncomfortable position is that, uncomfortable, and my expression doesn't help in the least, but I can't deny that I really feel protected from any situation, and if now is the right moment when we disintegrate for trying to leave the Isle of the Lost at least I know that I could confess my feelings for Jay.

But nothing happens, the car keeps moving and everything continues like it was ten seconds ago, intact and with us going to unknown lands.

"What just happened?" Jay releases us and I can breathe in peace while the four of us look back. The Isle, our home, whatever, now we're leaving it behind, all for just a short period of time.

"It must be magic" Evie says, cheerfully.

"Hey" Mal hits a small black remote control against the window to attract the driver's attention, "did this little button just opened up the magic barrier?".

"No" replies the driver, pulling a golden artifact out from who knows where, "this one opens the magic barrier" he goes back to look straight ahead, now that device is one of the things we must get, as a precaution, "that one opens my garage" he places a finger on another button and again he turns his head to speak to her. "And this button…".

The little window goes back up, giving us another bit of privacy. Now it may be a little harder to get that device; I guess the only option is to get that magic wand thing, or from Jay to decide to use those techniques in robbery that he had developed so hard instead of removing the trappings of the fronts of cars.

"Okay" Mal slowly turns her head, pursing her lips with satisfaction, crossing one knee over the other and she completely settles down in the seat, "nasty. I like that guy".

I roll my eyes and keep eating those little bittersweet worms, Mal goes back to get lost in her thoughts and Evie devotes a couple of weird but rarely glamorous gestures to her mirror.

I look out the corner of my eye at Jay, he closes his eyes while he finishes chewing a few pieces of sugar coated strips, the hand of the arm that's over me places on my right shoulder, sending a chill through my entire body.

I've tried so hard not to think about the moment that we had near the watchtower yesterday, but it's like if the memory became more present while I try to ignore it. We haven't had a similar time since then, we had fall back again to be that pair that hits each other for no apparent reason, but the times he's looking to have contact with me (of any kind) are more constant.

"If you keep staring at me like that I'll die, I'm sure of it" I look at him while he widens that sickly smile of satisfaction, I let out a snort and he opens his right eye to look at me. "Also I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't like that".

"Not everything in my head revolves around you, you know?" he turns his head to look at me straight in the eye, he approaches so fast and dangerously that I don't even remember why the hell we're stuck in this stunning car.

"Of course you do" the tip of his nose rubs against mine, and before anything else can happen a daring kiss also gets placed there.

"Oh…" I say and I accompany it with a strange noise in my throat, it was something like a squeal of surprise combined with the fact that Mal and Evie saw that little time, they were devoted themselves to simply look out the window and to the mirror respectively.

"Well, that certainly was the most adorable sound of the universe".

I completely ignore the fact that Evie pulls her hands together so that with her fingers she forms a heart and I try so hard not to die for embarrassment, the heat on my cheeks which also takes control over my ears is so intense and too much that I just simply don't think I can look at any of them to the face for the next twenty thousand years.

"W-was completely n-necessary?" I move into my place, looking for a way to get away from his grip and curl up on the farthest side of the seat. Again my great friends decide to unleash their evilness in me.

"Ugh, come here".

His hand places on my right cheek and he forces my head to get placed on his shoulder, I look up a little to see Mal cocking a smile while she also rolls her eyes, Evie dedicates to us a wide smile and raises a little more that horrible movement she decided to do with her hands.

"Don't listen to them, they're just jealous" he whispers in my ear, his breath sends a strange feeling all over my back while I look down and stop thinking about that I could get something I know none of us can have.

"Actually I don't understand why…".

I leave the sentence unfinished since the loud music starts rumbling in his headphones, I see how he bites his lower lip while he moves his head to the rhythm of the drums and the bass, I try not to think about the thousands of times I used to think about the moments he did that before sleep.

His hand returns to my shoulder, this time he traces small circles on the sleeve of the jacket I'm wearing, I hear the slow beating of his heart while I see that Mal decides to start reading the spell book from Maleficent and Evie settles her lip gloss after each bite that she gives to a couple of candy.

Bring home a puppy, is she serious? Mom has literally wiped out the few dogs in the Isle, including those that she keeps as prisoners in the basement are beginning to decrease in number. I hope that when I return they're no longer there, I dread having to monitor that door every time that she decides to make a garment so that her beasts don't escape. All that she does is cruel and ruthless, but I'm sure she could do all that kind of stuff to other people. To me…

I close my eyes slowly as a chill comes over me, Jay's breathing encompasses and his grip becomes a little weak. I decide that it will not be bad (or so I think) to accompany him on his nap while we get to that place that will be our home for the next couple of hours.

The Isle of the Lost doesn't seem to me a home anymore, nor is Auradon. Where do I belong if there is a place for me?

* * *

"Guys, wake up, we are about to get there" Evie shakes my arm to wake me up, and I appreciate that since I didn't think Jay would have liked to know that my head was in his lap.

Jay regains consciousness with such a high jump that he was nearly about to hit his head against the roof of the car, he mumbles a few things and he seems confused about what just happened, or if this really just happened, but the moment he looks at me and winks his right eye is like if my body did forget the correct way to breathe.

I look over his shoulder and in our way I can see lots of people dressed in bright colors, all of them waving at us. From now on I'm starting to feel sick for what's going on outside, or perhaps it's by the lots of candy that I decided to eat. Whatever it is, I don't like it.

"Look at them" Mal growls, rolling her eyes and expressing all the disgust that she's capable of with her voice and gestures. "They are disgusting".

"We're just going to be here for a couple of hours, M, there's no need for the glare" Evie tries to cheer her up, but everyone here knows that will not happen.

"Whatever".

The car goes into a circular way and now the sounds of drums, trumpets and applause is present, like if we were some kind of important person from a kingdom far, far way. Technically we are, but we're not here to attend to a boring ball or something like that, we're here to set free the most amazing people who have walked on the Earth. Or something.

"I want to stay here" I say in a tone of voice that I wanted to keep to myself, but the car stops at that very moment.

I finally look around at all the objects that were traveling with us but to which I didn't pay attention due to my sleep. Not much of this calls my attention, but one thing that resembles likes a blanket that has a pattern that seems vaguely familiar, probably the same one that I should see on some ships approaching to the ports from Auradon occasionally, seems to be asking me to get it out of the car with me. I want it.

"I guess they will not miss any of this, so I'll take this, and this, and oh damn, this _has_ to be mine".

We both reach out at the same time, holding opposite ends of this thing. Jay pulls from it with some force, which I respond by pulling too, he looks me in the eyes and smiles before doing so again, I don't let myself be overcome by the stupid things that are formulated in my head and pull again.

"This will not result in anything good at all" Evie whispers aloud, amused by all this.

I didn't expect the car door to be opened but I have to thank the driver he did that because surely this would have ended with a punch in my arm coming straight from Jay from me to let go of this, but my escape plan can't be completed, one part because I decided to fall down on the ground, and the other one because I'm fighting against him, there's no way out. I do all I have as an option: screaming and hold on to this thing.

"Stop!" I scream and that seems to encourage him to step over my stomach. "You got everything else! Why do you want whatever this is?!".

"Cause you want it!" his jaw gets tense and I can see complete hate in his eyes but I deny letting go of this thing because I really want it, even if I don't know what in the Earth it is.

"No!" I try to move away his damned boot but he steps harder over me, taking my breath away in a horrible way.

"Give it to me!" for a moment our eyes found each other's, and I'm so freaking sure that I want this that I refuse this feelings to come to the surface. "Let go!".

"Guys, guys, guys!" Mal says after she enjoys the show, we both stop with that, of course, since it's not very usual that someone finds her with her guard off. "We've got an audience".

We both turn our heads to the audience, right in the exact moment when a short woman makes her way through a bunch of people with lots of instruments and in uniforms, beside her comes a girl and a guy, and I don't feel like really talking to any of them, they seem that kind of persons that sweat goodness, and that's gross.

"Just… cleaning up" he says, giving them one of his always present and very attractive smiles, spitting I don't know what that he had in his mouth. "Get up" he growls and with a swift move I'm on my feet and trying to pretend that nothing had happened with this new audience of us.

From there everything becomes in lots of greetings and the woman telling him to leave the things like he found them, Jay introducing himself and calling that girl 'foxy' (like if I really cared that he did, and of course I did) and boring speeches about us getting here and all that stuff. So much smiling should be painful, and I like _so much_ the fact that Mal wants to rip Audrey's head off.

I can't deny that I was solemnly scared when that creepy statue transformed into an actual beast, and maybe it was a reflex that I jumped into Jay's arms for protection, thing he didn't liked since he forced me back to the ground and pushed me. He's… different, or something.

When this Doug guy tells us that we'll have to take a class called "Remedial Goodness 101" is like a punch in the evilness to every single one of us. Like if a person talking about many good things tomorrow morning could actually turn us into good people just like that. They'll have to hit us with their best shot, and anyway we'll not be here by tomorrow morning.

The only thing that I take as important is the working hour of the library. I don't know, maybe I could find something good in there.

"Alright guys, this is your dorm" Doug stands in front of a door, he's still not daring to look at any of us at the eye for more than two seconds. I have nothing against him, surely it's Jay who had him that scared. "If you need anything…".

"We know where to turn. Out" he ducks his head and runs down the hallway like a shot at the order of Jay.

I open the dorm's door and I find myself with a spacious place with too much sunlight coming in through the large windows, surrounded by wood, it just literally seems that every single thing of the furniture was intended to employ fifteen trees in each one.

Jay pushes me and without saying a word he jumps on the bed that's closer to a window, he extends his arms over the back and throws his head back, like if that was really enough to mark his territory.

"I want that bed" I growl through clenched teeth while I close the dorm's door behind me.

"You do? Well, that will not happen in the next couple of hours" I roll my eyes and throw to him the first thing I have in my power, a considerably heavy statuette that hits his abdomen, and he doesn't flinch at all.

Reminder: he has muscles.

He raises his head with a so fast and aggressive movement I can swear that he will have some injured vertebrae for a couple of days, but that doesn't erase the stupid grin he should always keep in his face. It's not as broad and so full of goodness like the ones from those people we just met, it's more his trademark, like slaying an enemy or something like that on some people on the Isle.

"If you want the bed you just have to ask for it" he bites his lower lip and talks pursing his lips, he slightly arches his right eyebrow and I refuse to use that awful word Evie said in the car.

"I want that bed" I answer, using a lower tone of voice, lowering my look since I can no longer look that expression without a sigh threatening to come out.

"Come and get it".

I look at him just enough to see how he places the beanie on his face and slides his arms behind his head; he's taunting of me and that maybe yesterday I mentioned a few times how… 'captivating' his arms are.

What is he expecting me to do? That I climb on that mattress and find a way where I can sleep there? That I just take the one on the other side? Sleep on the floor? Give up to the feelings? Seeing it so any one is an option, and I must add that at some point in the night we'll be returning to the Isle.

I don't know which is worse, if the idea of returning to the Isle or the idea of her coming out from there and bringing back her wave of canine murders to fulfil her maniacal desires.

"Now the library seems a place where I would like to be".

"I always found interesting that you are smart".

A sultry heat completely comes over me, my knees get a little weak and I have to lean against the door to keep myself up from falling. I see him sighing while he lifts the beanie from his eyes, he winks the right one and I just can't keep going on with this, although escaping is not an option because we have to plan a robbery.

"W-whatever".

I throw the few belongings I brought with me at the foot of the bed and I come closer to collapse there, in the middle of the floor, confused about all this but also somewhat relieved; confused since I have no idea how to try to approach to him again without feeling that he rejects me, or without feeling that all my attempts are useless because he can do it a thousand times better and without even thinking about it; relieved that at least something in him really feels the same as me, I have no idea if with the same intensity but at least there's something.

Maybe I shouldn't think so much about those things, or maybe I need to feel that my thoughts are going to kill me, it worked the last time. Or maybe…

"Or we could share the bed, which seems like a great idea now that I said it aloud" his warm breath and the growling in his voice against my right ear erases 'sanity' from the words I know. Before anything else can happen he bites my earlobe slightly. "But, after all, we will not be here after tonight".

He stands up and forces me to do so, he starts to open each and every one of the drawers and compartments in the dorm while I stand there, frozen, static with something strange caught in my throat.

Where is this going? I don't have the foggiest idea.

"So then, what do you think about all those goodie goodies?" he pokes his head out the window and by the movements he's making with his head, at the same time he places both of his arms in the frame, I know that there must be someone down there, a girl is the most viable option.

And this time I don't feel angry about it. It's his nature.

"Do I have something to say about it? They're awful, and good people, the sooner we get out of here the better".

The deep growl of my stomach seems to rumble around the whole dorm, I can almost swear that it was audible on the opposite end of the huge building. It's not the first time it does a similar sound, it has done them like that since I can remember, but today it seems decided to bother me more because I was running all morning away from mom to catch up with the guys to get our mission from Maleficent; mom behaves nicely when she's in public, out there is less likely from her to find a way to punish me for not doing something, and only the likelihood decreases, it doesn't mean she always does.

Jay splits away from the window, he rolls his eyes and smiles, he pats me on the shoulder before placing his arm around my shoulders and forces me to walk.

"Let's find something to eat first or you'll ruin the plan, besides I'm also starving".

It happens again that some kind of synchronicity that exists in the four of us is perfect and acts at the same time since we find both Mal and Evie in the middle of the hallway, also aimed to get something to eat.

While we move through the hallways and courtyards, huge but yet filled with people, in the usual molding (Jay in the front, Mal and Evie with their arms linked behind him, and me in the end) I can notice that people here don't know a thing about discretion: I keep hearing their whispers and questions about whether if Ben lost his mind to bring us here, that accompanied by one or another person who has the audacity to point out to us.

It's funny the moment when we walk into the cafeteria. Everything, _everything_ remains in a deep silence that could almost match that one from a graveyard, or that one from the forest where we were venturing yesterday, the expressions of surprise are too noticeable, even some people fled through the emergency exit.

"If they behave like that when they see us I can't help but keep imagining the way in which they would beg for mercy when we have the wand in our hands" Mal says between murmurs, settling a strand of hair behind her right ear.

"I'll live in a huge castle and there will be hundreds of princes to meet my requests" Evie seems to be lost in her thoughts rather on what's going on, Mal makes an expression like saying 'are you serious?' similar to that she did when she heard that about the princes in the Isle.

"I'll need more arms to carry all the loot that I'll get from all of them" Jay smiles like if he owned the place. The three of them turn their heads in my direction, waiting for me to let out my future plans when we rule Auradon and all the kingdoms attached.

"Uh… I'd love to see some things on fire".

"Or destroy something already destroyed, like it's your specialty" he says with a smile that makes a girl who I hadn't seen standing next to him sigh, Mal and Evie laugh while I shrug. That was a low blow.

We completely ignore the huge line in front of the huge table filled of food, ignoring the complaints of the people who were waiting for the others to get served themselves, and we simply take all we can pull together with our hands. Evie looks at us with disappointment, I guess for the lack of manners or something like that, but she has the bright idea to give us some trays, which we only use to place just a little from the extra charge we carry in our arms.

Mal shoos away with her gaze a couple of girls in one of the farthest tables of the cafeteria, she and Evie take a sit in front of us, their shoulders are touching while I try to keep some distance from Jay. What he said was actually a little hurtful.

Why am I getting sensitive?

"At least you have some idea of what you took?" Evie stretches her back and looks at all of us, she begins to cut small pieces of what looks like a piece of meat overcooked bathed in cranberry sauce. "Right now I'm at a point between what is most disgusting: Jay showing the worst manners of the universe or Carlos still covered in chocolate".

I duck my head and use the square of fabric that I guess is supsed to be a napkin to try to eliminate the most notable remains of the small car heist we had. It's embarrassing, but when I move my head up again the pleased, wide and white smile from Evie tells me I managed to eliminate the disgust she had for me.

"Whatever it is it's too much, and it's free, so you will not hear a complaint from me for now" growls Jay with his mouth full, Evie closes her eyes and makes a gesture of disgust to try to eliminate the image of him using the hands and the back of his hand to remove the leftovers. He was smart enough to move his long hair from his way.

"Maybe use a fork? People often use them to eat" Mal says while stretching one in his direction, he responds with a snort.

"You know that in the Isle they would use it to take an eye out from you if you look at something on the plate of someone else for more than ten seconds".

"If you try that I'm sure it would be the last thing you do" Mal turns the fork between her fingers, a threat.

"Guys, people are looking at us. We'll plan killings later".

They stop challenging themselves with their gaze and we all go back to the food, or something like that: Mal chews and tries to disguise her expression of joy for trying something so good, Evie remains focused on her manners and her lip gloss, Jay eats, swallows and growls with everything that it's in front of him and with what he achieves to take from my tray each time he stretches his left hand, he takes some too oddly shaped veggies, some pieces of meat wrapped in mushrooms and French fries.

My lunch is based on an apple (half-eaten) and small pieces of the crust from a rye bread. Suddenly I'm not so hungry, he notices it.

"Eat something" he growls while he lows down a few slices of rye bread with a glass of water.

"I'm not hungry".

"I'm not asking, do it".

I roll my eyes and push the tray away in protest at his order, I place both of my arms on the table and rest my chin over my forearms. I hear him whispering the word 'idiot' and he stands up, I guess he went to find something he haven't tried out yet, but right now I feel in a very bad mood to follow him with that. Auradon is toxic.

"I think I'll go get another pair of cupcakes, they're delicious!" Evie cleans the corners of her lips gently with the cloth napkin, she folds it into a square and stands up, Mal goes behind her.

I stare right at a few sunflower seeds while the loud sounds of a school like this drills deep into the depths of my eardrums. I'm too pissed and frustrated by all this and by so many other things that being lost in the woods of the Isle doesn't seem a bad idea after all, the sound of a heavy tray placing beside me decides to thwart my reverie.

"You'll need energy for tonight" I shrug my shoulders a little more and keep looking at the seeds. "Whatever, see ya later" I raise my right hand just enough for him to know that I heard that, he pats me on the shoulder and walks to go by the emergency exit.

I look around at the cafeteria and something strange comes over me, it's another one of those moments when I stop to think about how my life would be if I wasn't me, or at least if I wasn't a de Vil.

Would I be enrolled in this same school, surrounded by this same people, with parents who care about me instead of ordering me and punishing me, doing exactly the same things that good people do in their daily life here? It's not like if I wanted a spell to change the past, in one way or another everything would go down to be the same.

Destiny, I have to take that into consideration from now on. It's my/our destiny to steal the wand, it's my/our destiny to destroy the barrier, it's my/our destiny to witness the new order of things when Madame Maleficent rule here. It's my/our destiny to change everything.

"Where the hell is Jay?" Mal asks while she sits down again, extremely irritated and with that frightening green glow in her eyes. "He was here a minute ago".

"Isn't it obvious?" I lift up and notice the pile of desserts that's on my side. I refuse to touch them. "He just ate, he's working out, and by that I mean to steal a few things he finds around".

"You seem to know him quite well" Evie places both of her arms on the table and rests her face on her open hands, she raises her eyebrows like if she were trying to say something else, I don't understand all of it.

"We've been friends for nearly a thousand years ago, I would have to learn some things about him one way or another".

"And it seems that your named 'friendship' decided to change yesterday, doesn't it?" Mal pouts in her smirk. I'm about to answer that it did when a moment of rationality comes over me, because the answer is not a yes, but neither is a no; the answer is just 'I have no idea'.

"Actually we haven't talked about it" the nervousness in my voice and a slight temperature rising in my cheeks speaks better for me. I'm not sure that I want to hear something about it.

They share a knowing look, then a smile and finally a pair of raised eyebrows. I may be smaller than them but I know what they're up to.

"E, we're going, let's see in smarty-pants here can decipher a few things on his own" Evie nods and stands up, twirling a few times to show off her outfit. "We'll visit you two later to think about things… if you know what I mean".

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, see ya".

The wand. Madame Maleficent. Jay. Feelings. Auradon. Going back to the Isle if we're caught. Evil taking the world. Can all that be achieved in such a short period of time? I can't imagine the result.

* * *

Mission: Steal Fairy Godmother's wand and release our parents from the Isle so destruction come to govern Auradon. Status: Failure. _Epic_ failure.

The way back to the Prep is quiet, too much for the liking of either of us. Mal and Evie exchange distressed glances and keep themselves with their heads down, Jay goes in front of us, he's about five meters away from us and even back here I can hear him whispering a wide repertoire of insults I didn't believe he even possessed.

Fairy Godmother would have a heart attack if she heard him.

I stay as far away from them since I don't want to share the distressed looks from the girls, also because Evie will still seeing me as a wounded animal or something, Mal doesn't really enjoys being around with me, and it really seems to be nothing that can raise Jay's mood, not something that can breathe after he finishes taking out his frustration.

We enter to the school circular path and avoid a few guards, we enter to the main hallway about two minutes before we hear the heavy doors closing. I can almost swear there are archers on the roofs to avoid any turmoil, although this is Auradon, surely the greatest danger that they may have here is a pack of puppies in search of their mother.

Jay ignores the wish of good night from Evie (nightmares and some threats lurking under his bed) and keeps walking straight ahead, he turns to the left to start hitting the walls he can find, I know that because of the sound that appears to rumble in the whole building.

"I hope he's better in the morning" Evie shrugs, she doesn't stop looking at the point where Jay disappeared.

"Never mind, I'd rather spend an eternity grounded to spend another day here" Mal's eyes flash with the characteristic green of her family.

"I hope so".

There are about two hundred things I want to tell her about it formulating in my head, but because she has magic at her disposal I'd rather not be turned into ashes, at least not today.

I fasten my pace until I'm about two strides away from him, I open my mouth to start a conversation but I'm not sure I can continue it, not without knowing that I will receive monosyllables or him simply sending me to hell.

"It's stupid, right?" he stops at the moment and turns his head a little. "I mean it makes no sense to set an alarm over an object as stupid as that if supposedly no one in here would do something wrong with it".

The loud stomps he makes when he walks again make clear that I returned to remind him of his failure, which wasn't my intention at all.

When we arrive to the front of the dorm I look into the pockets of my shorts for the key of it, he decides to take out a little of his anger and he opens the door with a kick. Surprisingly the lock doesn't break, but the blow of the door when it hits the wall makes some lights to get on, we hasten to enter and to follow whatever that comes out of this here.

"Listen… everything will be…" he turns on his heels and he points at me so accusingly with a finger, his arm trembles by the force he applies on it, he comes closer with strides and I step back until my head is the first thing to hit a wall, then my whole body gets supported against the wall.

"Don't you dare to say that everything will be fine tomorrow, _don't_ you dare" he clenches his jaw and I can see myself with a bruise on my right eye.

I close my fists so tightly that I hear some cracks, I dare to look into his eyes and I can see that with which he fights against so much, that thing that had him in pointless searches and wishing to cause good impressions with what he does: disappointment.

Jafar would have said to him that he's useless and a good for nothing, that would have caused in him to go out late at night and steal everything that's not fixed to the ground to try to make amends. On the nights when mom had me brushing each and every one of her coats I used to watch him sprinting in the cover of night, fetching and carrying lots of objects.

If at any time I thought of stopping him then now I know that I would face a look and a so violent reaction like those from now.

"I-If you're going to beat me just d-do it and done" I gasp and move my head to the right, giving him space enough so at least I can say I tripped over something or fell out of bed.

The punch doesn't come, instead of that he holds my chin with the kindness that I never thought there could have someone that does what he does. I open my eyes nervously and his expression changes completely, the total opposite to what had attacked a few ago milliseconds: he frowns slightly, his eyes are somewhat more opened, his lower lip trembles, the hectic breathing says another bit.

"I-I…" he hesitates and breaks our eye contact, he scratches his nape with his free hand and sighs heavily. This is new. "W-well, I think that w-what I want to say is that…".

I move his arms away and extend mine to wrap his torso, I place my right cheek over his chest while his whole body stiffens, he breathes haltingly and I don't know if it's him who's trembling for what I'm doing or it's me for having done so without thinking about it.

"It's okay" a second later his right hand goes into my hair and the other gets placed in my lower back, he caresses each strand while I fight my urge to rub my nose against his muscles. "It's okay".

"No, it's not okay…" the ragged breath that accompanies that makes me to look up. It's the first time I see him so… sad, crestfallen, defeated, whatever that makes him feel thus. "I don't wanna be a downer, I don't wanna disappoint any of you, or dad… not anyone on the Isle".

It's easy to notice that he doesn't say that last part seriously, but I decide not to point that out and let him to snort how he needs to relax a little.

"I guess that we'll get the wand one way or another" he growls softly, that makes something in my head to doesn't seem to be fine, everything seems to be slightly hazy and too warm, "I'll take it as an accident, and accidents happen all the tim…".

I don't know what comes over me that banks to do that; maybe it was the fact that something in his voice told all these things but between lines he was saying 'do it', maybe it was the closeness between us and the heat radiating from him, perhaps it was the memory of his soft lips against mine. Whatever it is, I get up on my toes and the pressure of that little kiss doesn't last more than two seconds, two seconds that surely seemed long hours.

When I completely put my feet on the floor one of his hands cups my cheek, his thumb moves over my cheekbone and something like a shriek escapes from my throat without my authorization. He looks into my eyes, I can notice how shocked he is for what I did, I can also feel the sickening heat in the cheeks.

"Alright… this is new" the tip of his nose moves against mine, we both let out stupid laughter that, back on the Isle, it would have led to his desire to beat people to be present, "no one had kissed me before" I frown since that's a huge lie, I can make a long list of people who had kissed him before. "I mean I'm usually the one doing it, you're the first person who manages to kiss me without me being aware of it".

"Can I do it again?" the nice nervousness in my voice takes me by surprise but I really want to do it again. Again and hundreds of countless times… if he lets me.

"Mmmmh" he moves his gaze away for just a second, then the widest smile that I've ever seen on him adorns his lips before he nods a little, "yeah, you can".

Again I get up in my toes and again press his soft lips against mine, I close my eyes and for a second I wonder if he also feels what comes over me: the knees weak, the fast heartbeat, the chill in the back, all that and more, but at least in me highlights a deep need and a strong desire to never split away.

I'm so damn sensitive and weak, he knows it.

"What's all this?" I ask when I split away and open my eyes, I feel really confused about… I don't know whether to call it 'us', so I decide to call it 'this'. "I mean, usually people do this sort of things because there's something very strong among them, and I don't know if all this are signs of some kind or if I'm going crazy".

He frowns so confused that I refuse to laugh in his face, also this is a 'serious' issue.

"I'll correct all that: is there something between us?" the answer is a pressure of his lips on my forehead. Enough.

"You sound like if you were a person from here" I notice the displeasure in what he says, and I notice it in my body because it's a great insult. "For now I'll say that yeah, there is, but I'm too tired, frustrated and in need of a long shower to discuss it. Tomorrow morning".

He pulls me closer to his body, he kisses the top of my hair and his chin is placed there for a couple of seconds, then we both decide to end the hug at the same time.

He enters to the small bathroom of the dorm and all I can do is to sit on the mattress, the spongy feeling under me makes my hands to travel over the entire length of the blankets that cover it. At home bed is a word that doesn't have the same meaning that it has here: on the Isle, or at least for mom, and for me, bed means a lot of pieces of cardboard over a bunch of metal pipes with some fabric scraps to protect me from the night. Here it's like trying to find ways to define softness and warmth.

Everything changes when my head hits the pillows, then is when all the gloom, fatigue, a feeling of having run ten thousand kilometers comes straight over me. My eyelids weigh like hundreds of kilograms, my body is plunged into stupor and drowsiness. Sleep seems incredible now.

I don't hear the bathroom door when it opens but I do hear when he laughs slightly, the feeling of each of the parts of my body sinking into a deep sleep is so much for me to do something about it, so I let him to take off my boots and socks, he lifts me up so that he can slip me between the blankets and cover me with them.

"Sleep tight" the whisper and a kiss on my forehead is the last thing that I get.


	3. I don't fit in the world

I keep enjoying a lot the reviews that I receive, I try to include some things that you say in them to try to keep everyone happy and interested in the history. Don't get bothered with me if I take a little to update it but my semester at school is starting and it seems one of those challenges that you must face with all your consciousness, also (on news that nobody cares about) I have a recent broken heart, so don't hate me. Fav, follow or review, enjoy :)

* * *

 **I don't fit in the world**

I blink a few times, I lean forward and luckily I don't get to hit my head against the table, but since the few notes I've taken from Remedial Goodness 101 are simple squiggles and strange movements of my hand I know that, although I will not return to read them again in a million years, I should have took something more than an entire apple for breakfast to not feel that at any moment I will fall unconscious from exhaustion in my body.

"I can use a spell over you so you don't fall asleep" I turn my head a little, Mal smiles without looking away from her obsessive drawing of the wand, "or I could find some way to show your… friend, how much I hate him for ruining everything last night".

"I heard you" he growl so closer to my ear that I could swear that he read my thoughts, "and if I had magic then you'd be the one biting the dust".

"Attention to the front, Mal, Jay and Carlos".

I roll my eyes and place my head over Jay's shoulder, I yawn without some kind of remorse while Fairy Godmother finishes writing on the chalkboard another bunch of exercises that should improve as much as possible our moral consciousness, or to make us differentiate between good and bad, or whatever. I don't know if she turned her head to see that we're talking or if she has eyes in her nape.

Jay's shoulder isn't as comfortable or fluffy like the pillows where I just woke up a few hours ago, and everything seemed almost a kind of hallucination because I don't remember the last time I could sleep without waking up by in a startle or for an endless list of things to do, or frantic laughter.

Although his shoulder isn't as comfortable I can't ask for anything more now, and before he can put his arm over my shoulders I stretch my back and turn my eyes forward before the Fairy Godmother smiles to us and stretches a pointer to read the next exercise.

"If someone hands you a crying baby, do you: A) Curse it? B) Lock it in a tower? C) Give it a bottle? D) Carve out its heart?".

Evie's hand goes all the way up like a shot, and Fairy Godmother is more than happy to give her a chance to talk, but it's like the third time she does that and all of them she has been wrong.

"Evie".

"What was the second one?" she asks, and I don't get the point to pretend that she's dumb, because she's not, she's actually smart, like me, and I don't consider myself that smart, even when Jay says so.

"Oh, okay. Anyone else?" she smiles but it's obvious that she's kind of a little disappointed. She looks at us with a sad smile while she points with that thing, expecting someone to say something, I limit myself to cross my arms and not fall asleep.

"Mal?" she says randomly, and luckily she was 'paying attention'.

"C) Give it a bottle" she answers, not caring about this, the same thing that happens to all of us. I know the answers of this, because we just have to remember that we have to do the exact opposite to what we used to do, but I don't feel like talking.

"Correct. Again" more smiling, gross.

"You are on fire, girl" I say as a compliment since she's more focused on drawing than in learning, but we're not going to use this learning when fires and catastrophe rule Auradon.

"Just pick the one that doesn't sound like any fun" she growls and that seems to clear Evie's mind, I give her the reason because it's the best option if I don't want a spell ruining my whole day, or my life.

"That makes so much sense" Evie whispers.

Then a girl shows up (which turns to be Fairy Godmother's shy and weird daughter, Jane) and that's a little relief to this boring morning and my sudden starving because they sign and introduce and do some other dull and distractive stuff. Jane is scared of us, we don't bite… that hard.

However when I look at Jay he smiles like if he were trying to say 'perhaps the easiest girl to flirt with' and I take that as a sign to get closer to the wand, not that he actually wants to get something with her. Or… he does?

"Let's continue" Fairy Godmother says and I throw my head back and roll my eyes, seriously wanting something to eat, anything, maybe I could handle this with something in my stomach. "You find a vial of poison, do you: A) Put it in the King's wine? B) Paint it on an apple?" joke to Evie's mother, and she takes it, "or C) Turn it over to the proper authorities?".

Maybe if I talk I could ask her if I can go out and get something to eat, that's why my hand goes up to answer, but Evie and Jay does the same, and Jay tries to get my hand down to take all the credits for him, like most of the time.

"Go" I say with my jaw clenched but Jay just laughs and shake his arm.

"Jay" she points at him. «Damn, this was my moment, so unfair».

"C) You turn it over to the proper authorities" he pushes my arm away and lifts an eyebrow while placing his arms on the back of the chair.

"I was gonna say that" I hit him in the arm, _huge_ mistake.

"Boo-hoo but I said it first" I look at him with all the despise that I'm capable of because I really wanted to get out of here, and because I hate when he talks to me like that and more with his lips pursed, but that's another huge mistake because I know what he's going to do since the Isle. "Come here! C'mon on, who said it first? Who said it first?!".

The lock in my head with his arm is the first thing that I remember he did to me while playing in the Isle, also his knuckles messing my hair and focused to drill all the way to my brain. But the pinning against the table is new, maybe because there wasn't a place where he can pinned me before, and he decided to did this here, in the middle of the classroom with the most kind person in Auradon. It feels good to have his body over me, but maybe with not that much violence and more hugs and kisses. Wait… WHAT!?

"Boys" Fairy Godmother says to try to get our attention but that doesn't stop Jay to get ready a wet willie, the most disgusting thing that can exist in the whole universe. "Boys" she says again, sounding more insistent, and we both stop with our funny/aggressive moment to look at her. "I am gonna encourage you to use that energy on the tourney field".

"Oh no, that's okay. Whatever that is we'll-we'll pass" I push Jay the hell away and he moves to tease that he's going to punch me, and surely he would did it if we wasn't here.

"Sadly I'm not asking, so please pick up your stuff and please go there, I'll tell the coach to take you because I sent you there now".

"But what about the class?" I say, trying to find a way to get out of that.

"I'm sure Mal and Evie could borrow you their notes and you can keep it up with us, right?" she ask to them, and both of the girls smile to us with that hidden message to say 'idiots, you deserve this and more'.

"Sure we can do it" Evie winks her right eye and then looks at her right nails, linking her free arm with Mal's.

"So now go since practice is about to start".

Now I hate Fairy Godmother because she's sending us to a thing that neither of us has the slightest idea of what it is about, but since is a way to 'use our energy' sure it involves running, or some melee, or running. Any of those isn't an option, I'm not made for anything of those.

Would it be bad even when he's going with me?

* * *

So tourney means one thing: sports.

New/old thing that I hate, that's for sure. I mean, who in the world could _ever_ think that someone like me, and specially me, would be made for sports?

For what I know and already saw in the students here I'm kind of short for my age, my whole complexion is just smaller than the average from the people here, so I don't exactly get the point of Fairy Godmother when she sent me and Jay to that tourney thing.

I get that we may be a little too energetic for her taste, or maybe that we should pay attention to that boring class and stuff, or maybe she just wanted to spend time with the girls, but there are plenty of things to do to focus that energy rather than run and jump and carry a ball and get roars and being stepped on the arm and those horrible things. My shoulder still hurts a bit too much, Jay is too heavy and I wasn't expecting him to forget that I was there with him, 'being part of a new thing together as a punishment for being aggressive and best friends'.

"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere. Let's go" says Ben when he finds me in the bleachers, taking me out from my reverie.

"Yeah, sure" I nod and shrug my shoulders because I don't want to be here, but since everyone else has some other class where to be something in my head said that this was an opportunity to waste some time.

We both stand up and walk in the field, he starts questioning about how was my day since the practice was over and I answer with monosyllables and nods with my throat, trying to avoid that he gets in other topics. I'm not good talking to people but my options are limited.

He tells me to stand in the very start of the field and I do some stretches, taking some advice that Jay gave me in the practice earlier, and it's a relief that the other players aren't here anymore, whispering that we are trouble and that we should be sent back to the Isle to make people suffer far away from them. What a bunch of cowards I see.

"Okay, Carlos, we're gonna do some sprints. You ready?" I nod and make a motion with my hand from him to now that I am, partially.

When he looks down at a chronometer the first bark comes, and I start running for my life.

The most common description from mom about a dog pops in my head: they are like a slaughter machine with four paws, covered with fur and from different sizes. Their claws will tear your flesh until you bleed to death, they're fangs will always be ready to get dug in your throat and you'll feel how your life slowly goes down the hill until you're gone from the world, they run faster than you, they watch you in the night to make sure that their prey is still alive until they get bored about you and kill you in that very moment. Listen to me, Carlos, I'm the expert on this, I had dealt with them before Beast sent me to the Isle, so if you ever come near one you have to find a place to survive, but maybe the dog will find someone more entertain to kill, that probably would keep you alive.

I have the stupid idea of looking back to watch it, the little monster is brown and following me with all of its eager to get me, that pumps me to run faster and beg for my life.

"No! Wait!" I scream while I'm sure my shrieks of panic are feeding the killing instinct of the animal. This wasn't exactly the way in which I thought that I would die.

"Great! Woo!" Ben says when I run past him.

"No!" I don't stop, I would never stop, not until this beast finds someone else to kill instead of me.

This beast was trained to kill villains, I'm sure of that now. This thing is going to catch and drag me to a place where it can destroy me with all of its sharp parts until it can smell Evie, Mal or Jay, they would be the next ones.

Ben screams my name, I could say that surprised, but the woods seems a perfect place where the creature can find a rabbit or a deer to kill for a while, then surely its extremely developed and trained sensing of smell will remind it that it has to track me down and kill me, because Auradon is only a place for good people, for good intentions. We four are just a social experiment, and it has to end up now.

"No, stop!" I order to the beast with a motion of my hand when I can finally climb up on a tree, and it seems to hear me since it just stays there.

"Carlos!" Ben yells, his voice sounding closer, and Jay would kill me in he knows that I thank that someone else beside him is worried about me and saving my life.

"Ben? Ben?" I could breathe in relief when he appears in my peripheral sight, but this horrible animal is waiting for me to get distracted to attack. "Ben, help me! This thing is a killer! He's gonna chase me down and rip out my throat! This is a vicious, rabid, pack animal!".

"Hey" he says, like if I just offended that beast that he dares to carry on his arms, "who told you that?".

"My mother" I say, matter-of-factly.

"Cruella?" I could roll my eyes for his stupid question but I can't do it now, he's controlling that thing.

"She's a dog expert. The dog yield to her" he laughs, surely he finds despair entertaining, and that tells me that Auradon is a place for mad people. "Why are you holding him!? He's gonna attack you!" he laughs again.

I feel 'bad' because I can imagine the moment when the beast decides to bite his neck, then he would wait until I come down from the tree to finish me right in the middle of nowhere too.

"Carlos, you've never actually met a dog, have you?" that simple idea makes panic to run over myself in that second.

"Of course not".

"Dude, meet Carlos. Carlos, this is Dude, he's the campus mug" I don't know if it is because of the way in which Ben talks or that after the introduction a few things seems to fit together but I don't feel that scared anymore, just nervous.

"He doesn't look like a vicious, rabid, pack animal" nervous laughs come out with my voice too, also with not feeling scared at all to come down from the tree. "Geez. You're a good boy, aren't you?" I've never were this close to a dog so that's why I nervously stretch my hand to pet the head of the animal, and he doesn't turn to bite it or rip it off, he seems to like it enough to come to my arms when Ben stretches his. "You're a good boy".

"I guess you guys have it pretty rough on the Island".

"Yeah… let's just say we don't get a lot of belly rubs".

"Good boy" Ben says when he pats me on the shoulder, and I don't know if it's just me but the way in which he looks at me seems to be a little different, it's awkward. "I mean you're a good runner. You're-you're fast… you know…"

"Oh…" I say to cut all the nervousness in what Ben's trying to say. Whatever, I'm holding a beast in my arms, I need to focus in that, and also in the fact that he doesn't seem to want to kill me, at least not now.

"Yeah…" another pat on the shoulder, I'm so done with this contact from him.

"Thank you" I say and pet the dog while try to state to Ben that I don't feel that comfortable with him patting me that much on the shoulder, or his talking, or him being near me.

"Yeah. Listen, I'm gonna give you guys some space" I look up to him and nod while I also give him a very little smile. "Yeah? You guys get to know each other and just… you know, come find me when you're done. Okay?".

"Okay".

"See you later" his smile makes me sick.

"See you at there" _thank Maleficent he's gone_.

I sit in a trunk and scratch his chest, his breathing is calm and he doesn't seem to be vibrating of rage or desires to kill, it rather seems that he actually likes to be surrounded by people or carried, and mostly he seems to love being petted. I wonder if he could be one of those dogs that mom showed me in cards when I was like seven years old that move their paws if you scratch them in a point under their ears, or maybe that could release his rage.

"Hi. Hi. Oh…" Dude licks my cheek and that felt kind of nice, or maybe he just tasted me to make sure if it would be worth to eat me. Anyway, I like it. "Thank you".

I look into his little brown eyes and I don't know if I could say that a dog can smile, but he really seems to be comfortable, just as how I'm feeling, maybe a little more from my share. It's weird to have an animal in my arms, if I think that those living in the Isle are almost nonexistent, and mostly they are rats or cockroaches, but I think that I can consider Dude, besides the campus mug, my fourth partner in life, the others are doing who knows what in who knows where with who knows who.

"So… are you used to chase people down and kill them to death often?" he snorts and looks away, I remove my hand from his chest and that seems to bother him since another snort seems louder. I pet him again. "Fine, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you".

Dude moves in such a way that he's completely lying on my legs, his head resting over his front paws and his ears are down, I suppose that he's exhausted by having to move around his small body in such an intense race to want to get me, or maybe, now that I think about it as a possibility, he wanted to meet any of the four new guys in Auradon Prep.

The way of acting of everybody here is too weird.

I look up, the sun gets filtered through the holes in the tops of the trees, a couple of squirrels are jumping from one branch to another, I hear the sound of some woodpeckers in their search for insects and some branches cracking are telling me that some other kind of animal should be hanging around, perhaps stalking or just walking around freely.

This forest is the complete opposite of the forest of the Isle, everything here is full of life and foliage, the naturalness that something like this should have, all of this is an ecosystem of peace that allows ideas and thoughts to flow without any kind of obstacle.

For some reason this makes me feel more sentimental than how I'm used to, and it may be true what they said that I haven't developed so well my role as a villain, but honestly I don't care about that at all, even if it involves receiving looks of contempt from Mal and punches by Jay.

"May I tell you a story that will probably make you think the worst of me?" I ask to Dude, and I don't know if that is any indication that I can develop the same 'special' features than mom, but I just want to chat with someone, not make myself a coat with his fur.

I take the fact that he licks my right hand as a sign that he wants to listen to me, and I can't believe that I'm about to open up to a dog.

"Okay, where do I start?" I say with a sigh, stroking the midpoint of his head while I gather together the ideas on my lips. I know exactly where to start, and it's not pleasant to think about it.

Leading a tolerable lifestyle turns to be easy, or at least pretending it is way very simple. Being a villain about who you can speak about and cause fear by simply hearing his name, I'd never get that; a student sometimes with the highest grades in school without any recognition, the center of attention and relief of frustration in my little family, the usual thing. Everything like that turns to be very simple, pretending, and even more disguising it all with a shy smile when all inside it's different. And at such a young age…

Being the son of a lunatic from the Isle of the Lost has a host of disadvantages, but between them there are two that can be highlighted in bold bright letters, like those in Mal's graffiti on the walls of many buildings in… home, I guess.

The two main ones are easy to guess: no love and no happiness. I'm obviously not happy, and I can give a starting point to that, when I was four, in those moments where my memories are somewhat blurry but still present when my short life was based on playing with small cars that were missing some wheels, figures of animals that I had never seen before and feeling a constant pain in the stomach, which was hungry. At that young age the world has a different perspective, everything is bigger and more terrifying, the people in there are seeking any time to take advantage of you, and you don't have a concise idea of what death is. It's not like that… until you are close to what happened.

I don't know if it is because of my nature to take advantage of the best times as far as possible or believe that something good can come out from the darkest moment, but I seem to remember that dad was good to me. Yeah, he wasn't completely friendly if he lived there, he yelled at people and used to hit some walls, or people, but he wasn't like that with me. He used to read and make up stories for me before my bedtime, he played with me in the dry garden behind our house and at bath time, he gave me half of his ridiculously small portion of food so I could be 'a strong boy in the future', he showed me some dance steps, all while mom was dedicated to spending hours in the basement, without leaving there for hours or days. I'd prefer to live without knowing what was down there.

And one day, when mom hadn't left the basement after a long time, one morning when I decided to get up early to give him a surprise, a drawing done a night before with just three or four colors of him, mom and me holding hands, the first thing I noticed was red, so much red on his side of the bed. Then, as I approached, I could see a red line around his neck and the usual heat felt on his cheeks was gone, everything was cold in him and in the room. It wasn't until some people came to take him away that I noticed that there was a piece of glass in his left hand, that I had stood there staring at him for hours and that mom was the one who gave the notification, without showing any kind of feeling for what had just happened in there.

Since there I credit the unleashing of no love since I had never before been loved by her, except a so very occasional caress in my hair or on my cheeks. I guess she took it too seriously because she destroyed the drawing and from there everything became horrible, me doing chores that I couldn't fulfil at such a young age, taking orders, punishments, yelling, slapping and kicking in the calf. I can still remember the first time she made me to spend a whole night at Evie's home I couldn't stop thinking that she had left me with her and the Evil Queen, who didn't know a thing of my existence until then. Evie was dedicated to make me so much and so many questions that my only way out was mourn on more than one occasion, but neither of them seemed to mind that I stayed there, curled up and drowned in tears, for hours.

I guess that's why Evie let me to be near her for longer and she looks at me all the time as someone hurt, although technically I am. My father was sent to a cave where all the bodies are rotting in a crowd, my mother hates me or something like that and she treats me like crap, I ended up falling in love with my best friend and we are now in Auradon while I talk to a dog and some silly tears are sliding down my cheeks.

Finally I'm crying, something I wanted to do since we step on the Prep, and I know Dude hates it since he moves into his place.

"I told you you'd think the worst of me" I say sobbing, hoping that nobody decides to come to find out if whether Dude served his purpose to kill me.

I stop petting him and I just let the upper part of my body to fall slightly over him, his fur feels good against my neck and the warmth coming out of his small body is enough to not feel that everything inside me is completely in the edge, he makes me feel that not everything is that bad. The same feeling from yesterday before I kissed Jay. Damn, now I can say that I kissed Jay, another pleasant sensation.

I wish he was here with me, now, listening to me although I know that he would hate it for being a sentimental stuff, holding me as I fall slowly in that hole that I thought I had left a couple of years ago. The past is past, forgive forget, but remember those little important moments it's a truly martyrdom, but even so talking about it is liberating, so much that I don't feel the usual chest compression when I simply thought about it.

"Thanks, Dude" I whisper against his fur, he turns his head and licks my cheek a couple of times, a weird smile comes to my face and I wipe away the tears that keeps falling down my cheeks. "Now come on, maybe Ben is still waiting for us".

I leave him on the ground and I walk at a slow pace, he follows me closely and wagging his tail in a lively way, wishing while hating the fact that I might have to run, jump or do anything else to prove that I have something for the tourney team again. I hate tourney, but the most important person for me wants to be part of the team, therefore I have to do my best to change roles and not be a useless guy before his eyes.

He should know that if this isn't a sign that my feelings for him are strong enough then I don't know what will.

* * *

"I think it's time that Benny-boo got himself a new girlfriend. And I need a love spell" Mal claps and I throw to her the spellbook, I can almost see that evil aura that comes out of her when she has an idea emanating from her, dark like her hair and like the clothes that she usually wears.

"Love spells?" Jay asks with sarcasm in his voice and trying to hide his laughter. "Did actually the most evil woman of all time was devoted to writing those spells?".

"She did, and they work" Mal purses her lips, the smile and her lost staring says that she feels highly proud to be the daughter of Maleficent, although she doesn't feel so proud of her. "And now, you two" she points to Jay and me, then with her thumb she points to the door behind her, "out, I have a lot to think and talk about with Evie".

"Besides you suck, literally" Evie takes a deep breath near where Jay, Dude and I are, then she covers her nose and she really seems to be about to throw up. "You should shower after practice".

"It takes time to wash this awesome hair" I glance up to see him pass his fingers through the strands, and I used to think that Evie was the vain one among us, "also I don't want the others to feel bad about themselves when they see me without all this over me".

I move my gaze back to my essay that I should deliver tomorrow about 'Things that I think I should change in my life' for Remedial Goodness 101, feeling a horribly embarrassing blush over me. Jay should have a special filter for his words, so he will not achieve that my imagination goes crazy and starts thinking about too many things and loose clothing.

"Whatever, out" Mal opens the door with magic and makes a gesture with the book to invite/force us to leave.

Jay snorts and takes the lead, he lifts up his right arm and places his armpit in front of Mal's face, she manages to move away and she gives him a good kick before Jay can sprint away. Before I could receive her glare I get up as fast as I can, stumbling a bit while trying to keep the computer and a couple of books in my backpack.

The girls were really surprised when they saw me with Dude in my arms about an hour ago, and I think that if I hadn't said or wolf-whistled anything about the new jersey of Jay he probably have noticed that there was a dog merely a few four centimeters away from me.

When I open the door of the dorm and step in the first thing I see is a broad back being showed up, completely, not even the long strands of hair can hide it. The muscles seem to be more highlighted after the whole exercise, his skin looks so smooth that I make a superhuman effort to not run my hands all over the entire surface.

"Don't do that, your gaze is too pervasive and frightening at the same time" he says before putting on a tank top and turning around to face me.

"I guess I'll try to not do so, or maybe I will not try and keep doing it because I like what I see".

He lifts his left eyebrow a little, he looks down and lifts up his right arm to place it behind his neck, the flexing of the muscle in his arm makes my knees to tremble a little, maybe too much, enough to make me move next to a wall to find some support.

"An interesting change, besides being smart you can say compliments, who would say that Auradon could…?" he looks at the space next to me and his eyes open wide, like if he were trying to warn me of a threat, and I'm sure that before I would have climbed to the roof or I would have thrown myself into his arms to protect my being from Dude. "Carlos… what is that?" he lows his arm and points with his free hand, I look at our new roommate just to confirm.

"Uh, well, he's dog" I say like if it was the most obvious thing.

"I already know it's a dog, and that's the problem because just yesterday you jumped into my arms when the statue of Beast transformed" he comes closer a couple of steps and I listen that Dude begins to snarl. "Wait a minute, is he… protecting you?!".

I leave my backpack on the opposite side and kneel to caress his little and furry head, that distracts him from thinking that Jay is a threat and he focuses on my touch, I decide not to pick him up because certainly that would completely scare the hell out of both of them.

"I think so, although you're not a threat. Dude, Jay isn't a threat, he's my… friend…" I hate that word but I refuse to say the other one that I have in mind, I get on my feet again, watching him while his expression of surprise doesn't change at any time.

"Since when did you become so fond of that little brown beast?" he points at him accusingly.

"You'll see, while I was with Ben in the tourney field…".

"What were you doing with Ben?" he crosses his arms and inflates his chest a little more than usual when he usually talks, even his voice changes but I don't know how I could describe it.

"Don't you remember? He told coach that he would take care of me…".

"Yeah, sure. And I guess that little beast was the best way in which he could approach to you".

"What are you talking about?" I frown and I really don't understand what's going on, he was fine just a second ago when I said I liked to see him and now he seems the complete opposite to how he often reacts.

"The worst would be to know that you were in the woods".

Everything that's behind him now is a great work of art, the wall, the TV and the videogames seems to be something that really shines in the darkness, the most priceless treasures that may exist around the world, they are simply the best distraction there may be since I don't want to look at him in the eyes. But he notices it, he tries to get in the middle of what I'm looking at and that makes me look at the roof, the floor, to Dude, to anywhere but in his eyes.

"Carlos, you were _not_ in the forest" he snaps and comes closer another couple of steps, now would be a good time for a couple of snarls, or for me to not have moved so far from the only exit I had. "Alright then, I hope he's ready to take a beating".

"Jay, don't. Ben just tried to be friendly so I could know that there was no reason to fear a dog".

"Yeah but that's my job. I'm with you now, it's me who must help you to overcome that kind of things, not him, also he should know that he can't be so near to you just like that, or from your big brown eyes… or your freckles… your short stature…" he looks at me straight in the eye with every word, the beating of my heart gets accelerated so much more when the tips of his boots are touching mine and the back of his fingers are caressing my right cheekbone, "your lips… Carlos, you're so… I'm so… ugh, just come here…".

His hand gets placed behind my neck, before I can think that he will make another lock on my neck, just like he did in the classroom a few hours ago, he bends his knees slightly so that his lips could meet mine completely.

I stretch my back by the sudden act, I open my eyes and take a deep breath before I start to close my eyelids slowly, taking as a last image the fact that he closed his eyelids first. In a simultaneous movement he places his hands on my waist and my arms get placed behind his neck, we tilt our heads slightly to the right and everything disappears.

I'd wanted this almost all day long. Bah, who am I kidding, I wanted this from the moment I opened my eyes, when I saw him in all that mess of blankets, pillows and tousled hair the first thing I wanted to do was get up to kiss him and see him waking up in the same style that any Auradon princess would do.

"Jay…" I manage to sigh when he departs just a millimeter to change the position of his face.

His hands get entwined in my lower back and he pulls me completely closer to him, for the first time in years I don't feel bad for being someone so vulnerable, I love all this, except perhaps the fact that the tip of his tongue traces a line on my lower lip, I make a great effort to not push him, the feeling is somewhat grotesque and deeply unpleasant.

However he does it again, now slower, I purse my eyebrows in a look of complete disgust, the sensation that runs from the tips of my toes to the last one of my hairs is so ambiguously exciting as it is intolerable that I just can't restrain myself from letting out a moan all over his face, combined with my full expression of disgust.

Then comes something that is even worse to that, he imprisons my lower lip between his teeth and gives it a bite, not hard enough to hurt me, but he does it with the entire freedom to make me open my eyes by surprise, support my hands on his shoulders and push him away, also taking deep breaths to both recover from the moment to also think that I'd never thought that he would like cannibalism. Where did I get in?

"What is it?" he gasps with that arrogant smile on his lips, he tries to approach again, with his hands ready to get placed on my waist, but I stretch out my right fist to keep him away.

"You bit me" I snap, the most obvious thing in the world.

"So?" he arches his right eyebrow and pushes his head forward to kiss me, I look to the right but his lips finish up on my neck.

"You bit me" I repeat, trying to sound more serious and annoyed.

"I don't get the problem" he whispers every word against my neck and I force my hands to not hang on onto his back until he moves away. "Even on the Isle you have seen thousands of people kissing, and do other things, also I'm sure that you already did it, adding that…".

"I never had done it" I look into his eyes while he frowns at my words, "actually… I had never kissed anyone before".

That's when the reality seems to drop over him like a weight on his body, his expression falls at the same time it does that security that its used to overflow from him when he's near someone, when it's him who has done that kind of things, and I can swear that many others like he said, but I guess I've been a little late in doing that too.

"Dammit" he runs his right hand through his hair, his expression becomes tense and he tries to eliminate his lower lip trembling by biting it. "You mean that I was your…?" I nod slowly while it's shameful that he can even make the supposition that he was my first ever kiss. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to scare you or something like that".

Okay, receiving apologies from his part is something I wouldn't like to get at any other time, not because I don't think he means it, I know he does because he's looking into my eyes, but it's due the fact that I don't like to see him with that so indecipherable expression on his face, along with feeling that all this moment is being brutally murdered by me for not knowing how to react to his experience. I have to adapt to this, grow in all aspects; change.

"Easy there" I go back to place my arms around his neck and with my thumb I scratch the back of his neck, he smiles like an idiot and gives me a little kiss on the lips, "it was only the suddenness of the moment, I will adapt".

"I'll make it up for you, I promise" his forehead gets placed over mine and I close my eyes, making that the stupid and weird sigh that we share worth every second of it. "But Evie's right, we suck".

"Dibs on the shower!".

I return him the little kiss and duck under his arms, because I guess he read in my expression that I was going to do it, I rush over and manage to close the bathroom's door of the dorm with the latch… for precaution.

I stand there staring at the small room where I just came in, because for some reason I hadn't felt the need to use it. Everything is neatly white, the few things that are in here are obsessively arranged on shelves with shape and color sequences, it might even be that they are aligned by their production dates.

I hear the scratches from Dude at the door, then I hear how the heavy stomping from Jay slowly comes closer until he finally comes to knock on the door with his knuckles.

"You know? It could be a shared shower, you know, to avoid wasting water and all that".

"I-I think I'll be fine, i-if I'm not out here in t-ten minutes ask for help".

"I will not care that you're not decent in there, I will come in to make sure you haven't died. Also that no one will have the privilege to see you like that besides me, that's for sure".

"Geez, did I already told you that you are so jealous?" that word, that's the word that can describe the change of his acting towards me, and I'm so ready to use it against him. "Maybe you should tell Ben to come and help you, he's so cute and strong…".

"And so dead if you keep talking like that about him" he punches the door, or kicks it, whatever that he did it was a sign to show me that he's not joking, and I don't want him to be mad with me, not that much.

I remove the latch and open the door slightly, on the other side I can see him with his jaw tense and with utter hatred coming out from his eyes, he's red by anger and he looks like a teapot about to explode for all the steam coming out of his ears. He's so… ugh, hot when he's jealous.

"Hey" I say, looking at him through the little crack, he looks into my eyes and I give him a little and shy smile. "You're the only one that I want, okay? Literally, I don't see myself with anyone else besides you".

"Give me a kiss and I'll trust you" he talks with pursed lips, so I just open the door to erase that stupid expression from him.

He wasn't ready for me to jump on him, so he steps back until he falls on my bed, I sit over his stomach and lean forward for him to not say anything, I just want him to kiss me and caress my back and sigh and laugh and share his feelings with me, to become this more about us.

"There, now you trust me?" his thumbs stroke both of my cheekbones.

"With all my mean heart, and if you don't hurry with that shower I'm seriously going to share it with you".

I rush again and close the door, sighing like an idiot and smiling like someone from Auradon. Then, now that I'm alone, real seriousness kind of comes, I move myself away from the door while my knees are shaking a little, I should stop letting my imagination to attack me like that, if I don't then there will come a point when I'll be falling with my face first to the ground since I'll be unable to think of anything else other than in Jay's whole body exposed in the communal shower that surely must be somewhere in the gym of Auradon Prep, or in his shared shower with me.

Would it be a mistake to let him in? Yeah, it would, but not for the fact that I would stop thinking correctly if he does and happens 'other things' here, it rather would be a mistake because I don't want him to see… that, any single one of all those marks on my body.

I take off my clothes slowly, seeing every detail of the bruises that I thought had disappeared from my waist a couple of days ago along with some scratch marks, even a tiny burner in my stomach… I don't remember the last time mom was so aggressive with me.

I throw the clothes in a pile near the door, I open the water taps and I stand under the warm water jets. The dispersion of the hot water and the contact with my skin almost seems like something completely new, now Auradon doesn't seem to be a so horrible place.

While the water falls on me the only person who hasn't treated me like crap, because he never had a chance to do it, appears in my memory, sharing with me the abundant freckles, the skin tone and the eye color. Dad… I'm sure that I would do anything to see him again only once, to make sure that the nest of madmen which turns to be the Isle of the Lost had some individuals with enough sanity to remember that they are dealing with other humans.

The live I used to have now seems like a bad dream, all that seems to have vanished in just a few minutes. Everything seems so distant now.

While I do everything that people make while they're in the shower a couple of things come to my mind. I don't fit in the world, I'd rather prefer one hundred and one times to live in that imaginary world where everything is as I please, where I can really be happy without worrying about everyone around me, where I feel loved by Jay and where I can make all kind of things that dictates my head when we are closer, not as a secret.

I'll live like that at least until we can return to the Isle with the wand, then I could find a way to not be near mom again (I'm sure so much power will turn her even crazier) and then, perhaps, I'll face the world. But since I used the world 'love' I'm pretty sure this would be _very_ hard to get.


	4. I like the forbidden words

I know it took me some time but… you should give thanks to spring break for this update to happen! I found out it's something like a biblical mistake to update the story in a weekend, it goes somewhat unnoticed, so I will try to update it on Wednesday-Thursday every time I have a chapter ready, so be aware of this. Fav, follow or review, they're good food for the soul or happiness, enjoy :)

* * *

 **I like the forbidden words**

If narcissism could take the form of a person, with all that may entail being someone insanely narcissistic, conceited, slightly arrogant and with some huge delusions of grandeur, then I'm more than sure that the best example of that would be Jay.

Literally there's nothing, NOTHING, to avoid him from feeling that he can touch the sky with just stretching his arm, not after being considered the most valuable player after winning that dumb tourney game a couple of days ago.

If before I found… annoying that hundreds of the female students of the Prep drool over by being near him now they look for anything to touch him, to talk with him, to do whatever, and I appreciate that Evie is around to keep me away from those uncomfortable situations.

I have to repeat it to myself one and a thousand times, Jay has the potential to bring people near him, I can't do anything about it. Although… maybe everything would change if… no, it's not possible.

Dude calls my attention for banging his head against my leg, a sign that he's hungry and wants to return to the dorm to sleep at the foot of my bed, I kneel down to pet him between his ears and remind him that I haven't forget all about him, but sometimes immersing myself in my thoughts takes too long and I forget everything. I wish I wouldn't have this tendency to think so much everything.

"I know, I know, we'll be there in a minute".

I get up at the right time when a couple of persons walk by me, whispering again and wishing that I wasn't here. Surely they believe that I attract bad luck or something like that, and I don't have that ability unless it's to bring that bad luck over myself, being like that then I plead guilty.

"Did you get the notification from Fairy Godmother?" Jay asks out of nowhere, his voice behind me makes me to take a leap so high that I could almost go through the roof, but fortunately the not at all evil and shrill shriek of panic remained trapped in my throat, tearing my vocal cords to come out.

"Don't do that again" I say, tensing my jaw and looking at him when he appears on my right.

"Right, sudden sounds, I'm sorry" he makes quotes in that last part. I roll my eyes while I finish settling and taking out a couple of books from my locker before closing it.

"I didn't received it, is it something important?" he widens a smile.

I lift my backpack from the floor while Jay pulls out a pile of sheets from his, which I doubt so much that may have something written that's worthwhile to carry them in his back, he mumbles a few things while he widens a little more that silly smile for some reason, when he finally finds what he was looking for he unfolds it and extends it to me.

"She said she would make a small modification to your class schedule because, according to her, you have too much free time".

"I like my free time…" I hesitate a bit on that. I really like to be alone, just for a while, so I'm not willing from her to take it off from me simply because she wants to.

"I don't know, she just told me to give this to you" I snatch the page and start reading it immediately, hating Auradon again and thinking about what to say to that… lovely woman the next time I see her.

I glance at each day and each subject, at each blank space that I thought I would get used all the time we were going to be here, and I don't see a big difference in the days or spaces, except today, in that space that I have from noon until about three in the afternoon.

For a moment I truly believe that the change in my schedule is real, but it's not until I read _**Subject: Kissing.**_ _**Speaker: super sexy Professor Jay.**_ , with that dreadful and unreadable letter with which he usually writes it's when I can laugh freely, by the fact that his joke was very well planned and because some nervousness comes over me, it's a combination of horrendous sensations.

"You had this dreadful and coldly calculated, don't you?".

"Of course I do" he places an arm around my shoulders and we start walking towards the dorm, I guess.

Dude walks beside me, wagging his tail excitedly and pausing occasionally to sniff things while I try to imagine this scene from another angle, something like the villain boys taking a walk before tormenting the neighbor, not like that thing that's between Mal and Ben with the effect of the cookies, or between Evie and Doug (even if she wants to deny it).

Jay greets right and left to all the girls, he high-fives with some guys from the tourney team, and one or another stranger ask him for pictures, pictures! It's too much even for him.

It's going to be one month since we got here, a month in which our lives have took half turns breathtakingly sudden, and I say half because, if they were full turns, we would be in exactly the same place where we started. Mal discovering her scope with her magic, Evie showing off what she's capable of, Jay being an star athlete and I… well, I guess I have to keep thanking I'm alive, because the only progress I've had in my life has been overcome my fear of dogs. A point in my favor, I suppose.

"So…" I put down my words half the way, waiting for him to decide to pay some attention to me and not to his fans, a couple of strangers who asks him for autographs, which go away when they notice I'm there. "Kissing?".

"Yeah, and I've heard that the teacher is very good at it, and also he got some recognition as the most valuable player a few days ago after a tourney game, so that it gives him more relevance to his lessons" I laugh as an obligation while we keep walking.

"Why?".

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe because you don't know how to?".

"I know how to… we have done it several times".

"Yeah, and it has been amazing, but strange as this may sound for you those simple lip pressures aren't kissing, there are more things involved in it".

"Like what?" I look to the right and caught him looking at me, he gives me a lopsided smile and I force my knees to not get weakened, not now.

"You'll see" he stands right in front of the dorm.

I didn't remember that the road from the main building to here was so short, or perhaps looking at the floor while walking makes everything to seem closer. Now it doesn't seem as a bad idea advising Evie a little for her next tests in Chemistry, or simply keep her company since Mal is on a date with Ben and she had no one to turn to besides me.

Maybe she will take my advice and decide to at least give a small chance to Doug, he seems to be a nice guy, not like that unbearable Chad guy and the rest of Ben's closer friends.

I open the dorms door and Dude takes advantage that I loosen up a bit my grip on his belt to run inside, he immediately reaches his feeder and devours it all in seconds, just like Jay when he finds something good in the cafeteria, and when he ends up with that he decides to jump on Jay's bed.

"Oh no, I've told you a thousand times you can't be there" Jay growls while he drops his heavy backpack near the door and hurries to put him away, Dude gets in a squat and defensive posture, he growls and shows him his fangs. "Oh, so this is how you want it, huh? Go ahead, hit me with your best shot, little beast".

"Hey, don't call him that" I decide to get into action and I slowly approach towards Dude, I scratch under his chin and that reassures him just a little to allow me to place him on the floor.

"You can't blame me for calling something by its name" Jay crosses his arms and continues to glare at Dude with his eyes.

"Whatever, don't call him that" I return the glare but he merely raises an eyebrow, mildly offended.

"Or what?" he challenges me by arching a little more his eyebrow and that lopsided smile. "It's noteworthy that I'm not afraid of you in the least".

"Someone could cut your hair off while you sleep".

His expression changes completely, now it seems one that precedes the full terror, like if he really believed I could do something like that. I'm not saying that Jay's hair is a problem, I like to play with it occasionally, especially when he lets me tie it up on my upper lip so I can pretend that I have one of those ridiculous mustaches from the beginning of time in many kingdoms, but it's the best thing I could think of to threaten him, and fortunately it had the success I expected since he relaxes his shoulders and also his terrified expression.

"Of course you wouldn't" he says no more, sure of it, "I mean, not if you value your life enough to keep breathing if you do".

"I could if you ever call him that again" he rolls his eyes while he starts walking around the room, muttering under his breath and surely just with his jaw tensed like he usually does when he can't win an argument. I look down to Dude and I stop scratching his chin, which makes him to look at me. "And you, you know that Jay doesn't like when you're in his bed, so don't do it again".

He snorts and gets up from my lap, he jumps at the foot of my bed and takes a few turns before dropping there, immediately he gets up when he hears the hurried footsteps of someone coming down the hallway and into the room without knocking at the door before.

Evie comes in with some scraps of fabric in her arms, a broad smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eyes, the expression she takes when her creating ideas for fashion takes possession of her head.

"Carlos, do you mind if I take Dude for a couple of hours?".

"You can take him for a whole life, I don't care" Jay snaps from a window, I guess some of his fans must be outside because it seems that his moodiness decided to fizzle.

"Shut it, Jay" I roll my eyes and turn my attention to Evie, she looks at me with a frown but I shrug my shoulders to shake off the topic. "Oh yeah, I guess that's okay, anyway I have… things to do".

The muggy and constant blushing comes over me. If Jay is not too upset with me for defending Dude then I would like too much to take my lessons with him; whatever it is that it can contain and be in that aspect it sounds too interesting, and I will not have my last class of the day, so it turns that future into something that I really want to happen.

"Great! I have in mind some stunning designs, and if I have some free time then I could design something for you guys" she sighs with all the joy of the universe. "Come on, Dude! You have many things to model".

That seems to encourage him since he runs out of here like a shot, I poke my head to see Evie trying to keep up with him in the hallway. I outline a silly smile while I shut the door, with the latch to prevent the interference by anyone else who don't knock.

"Are you upset?" I ask timidly, not daring to turn around to look at him.

"Should I be?" his voice sounds close again, he places his hands on my shoulders and makes me to turn on my heels, he lifts my face with his fingers and he looks at me in the eyes.

"I thought you would be because I defended Dude and not you".

"I don't need you to defend me, besides now he's not here, and if I seriously think about it we don't have to do what I propose" his hands cups my cheeks and he caresses my cheekbones, he don't look away at any moment. "I know this could make you nervous, so…".

"I want to do it".

We stay quiet for a moment, I do my best to look at him in the eyes but I can't do it for so much time, he understands it since he doesn't take a petulant position or seems to want to throw it on my face, also the tone in which he talks is telling me, indirectly, that he would like so much to have this moment with me. I can't deny this from him.

"I said I wanted to make it up for the fact that I'm an idiot and this was the best idea I had, so it's not something you have to do" he speaks with a low tone.

"You didn't said that exactly… not today…".

"You know what I'm talking about".

I've always found it kind of difficult to maintain eye contact with someone just like a few other things that are something like a challenge for me, like when someone comes closer to me too fast and without me having a place to hide, or sudden sounds, or huge people both in muscles or height, but after turning into someone so… physical with Jay is quite helpful for me to overcome that kind of fears that some would find as 'stupid'.

"I want to do it, Jay" his forehead gets placed on mine and we both smiled like idiots.

"Okay, choose the place".

He let me go and I take a deep breath before sitting on my bed, I get rid of my boots, belt, jacket and other accessories that I like to wear to then place my head on the pillow while I try to prevent the fatigue of the day to take over from me at this moment.

I can feel my heart has a somewhat accelerated pace, I raise my arms a little to rectify that I'm shaking a little. I close my eyes and count down from one to ten, breathing slowly to try to calm down, as was his suggestion on those moments when I didn't meet one of the tasks from mom and I knew that wouldn't prevent a hit or slap.

I open my eyes when I feel his weight on the mattress, he comes closer like if he was stalking something, or someone, to me in this case. I switch my gaze between his eyes and his actions; his eyes reflect decision and security in what is he planning to do, he doesn't look away for a second, but his actions are somewhat slow, firm however, but I can notice that his jaw is trembling a bit, like his hands. Would it actually be that he had never been so close to a person like how is he doing now with me? It's Jay about who we're talking about here, hard to believe.

"Comfy?" he asks when I look straight in his eyes, I can see that he really cares about me, like if I really were that special someone to him. When the back of his fingers caresses my cheek I can't help but smile and nod nervously, my breathing gets faster and my heart beats in my ears as I struggle to not close my eyes and give in to his touch. "Good".

He takes off his beanie and throws it to his bed, then his jacket, slowly, I try not to drool over each portion of tanned skin and muscles when the sleeves and leather stops covering his body. There are lots of cute and athletic guys in Auradon, literally in droves, and even so I can't find any of them even attractive, I don't see myself next to none of them, neither with a girl if I think about it, just with him. Am I going crazy? Am I risking everything with this? Does he feel it? So any questions around, lacking of answers.

I feel stupidly excited when the tips of our noses are touching, it's like something that could be called as ours, and when his hand gets placed behind my neck it's like if my arms (that were lying inert at my sides) turn into springs and I cling to his back with everything and nails, fortunately he's wearing a tank top over him.

"Easy there, it's okay" I bite my lower lip for all the grunting in his voice. "Ready?"

"Yeah…" I say without thinking about it because if I think too much I'm sure I would end this without learning something about it.

I'm about to turn fifteen, that if my sum of days and the arounds continues to change as I'm used since I've never had something like a real birthday, on the Isle people never take something like that seriously, it's another year in which you're still alive, but I just know the date is near; this kind of things are those that I should know for my age, also that I'm fascinated by learning.

Looking someone in the eyes is more difficult than I thought, it's one of those actions that I can barely handle, but looking at his brown eyes it's like if I found the most beautiful jewels in the whole world.

"I like your eyes" an uncontrollable blushing comes to me after that, so intense that I can swear that I'm melting by embarrassment for seeing that, with one eyebrow up, he don't like to get that kind of compliments. "I-I mean… they are so…" a kiss on my lips silences me.

"I adore your freckles" more blush, now all over my body.

A serious silence falls over the room, I don't want to admit what I like, love and adore about him right now, along with all those things that I'd like to know, it's the fact that this is going too fast that I don't consider it appropriate at all.

"Don't you think this is going too fast?" the nervousness in my voice is quite evident, which I wanted to show.

"Maybe" he takes my right arm and my hand, he kisses my knuckles and my hand goes back to his shoulder. This is too much and yet is so amazing that I don't want to stop myself, "but I'm enjoying it as much as you do".

I lean forward for a kiss, he smiles and winks with his right eye because I don't close mine, the usual shiver runs down my back and it intensifies a little more when I notice that his pupils are more dilated than their normal size, his fingers begin to play with the hair on my nape and everything inside my head seems to have found fascinating the fact that there is no consistency right now.

"Now I'm going to kiss you again, when I do it I'll lick your lower lip and you'll open your mouth a little. Got it?" I don't think I quite like the fact that he tells me what he will do, although I'm not a big fan of surprises.

I don't finish nodding when his whole body collapses on mine, just like his lips crashing against mine. Even when what he said are principles of cannibalism I can't deny that I like these light pressures from our lips, the relaxation flowing through my whole body and the feeling of giving me to all of this takes possession of me.

When his signal arrives, the tip of his tongue running down on my lower lip, I open my mouth a little, then his tongue gets in and presses mine. My back arches for his action and his hand moves from my neck to my cheek, stroking slowly and delicately my cheekbone, my light moans are muffled between our movements and accelerated breathing.

With the same slowness with which he caresses my cheekbone my hands move down the length of his back, the feeling of every strong muscle makes my eyes to pass to be completely closed, I breathe a sigh and my legs surround his waist. All this feels… good.

It's weird feeling something alive going deep into my mouth, beating me, it also is feeling how all this relaxation decides to erase all the traces of the smallest questions that I may have, its expanding, its focusing on my chest and in my… uh… damn!

I open my eyes and place my hands on his shoulders, I push him away and the look I get describes the concern that is written all over his face, I shake my head no and concentrate on looking at a wall.

"I have… I have a… problem…" he frowns and when he leans forward slowly my back arches reflexively, is in that moment when he notices because, for the first time in years, he blushes by shaming.

"Oh" it's everything that he just says, he completely straightens his back, he crosses his arms and don't look at me, in fact the strength that I look in his neck says he doesn't plan to do it anyway.

I take a second to be able to breathe easy and avoid the blushing that I have in my cheeks to be a synonymous of fever, I try to think of everything that I can come up with so then the thoughts that bring here… that are the least present things for now. Stupid puberty, or adolescence, hormones, whatever that I can blame to, it's just stupid.

"I didn't think I stepped over a line… I'm… I'm sorry, for real…".

"Just… give me a minute…".

I think in lots and plenty of things to reassure the silly expressions of my body. Blue sky, green grass, flowers of so many colors, the barrier around the Isle, Jay without his jacket, the outfit that Evie is designing for Dude, the essays I must deliver, Jay kissing me, tourney, those piles of books that I want to read, Jay stroking my cheeks, the freckles on my face, the weird food from Auradon, Jay, Jay, Jay.

I finally manage to calm down enough to not feel that I'm the weakest and hormonal of all the guys in the world.

"D-do you… want to continue…?" with his eyes he could tell me to jump on one foot while I juggle with knives, light up torches, and blindfolded, and I would do all that without thinking, like rnodding to keep going with this.

His hand, the one I don't remember was dedicated to play with my hair, now goes down to stroke my cheek, and before anything else can happen his lips begin to make small pressures against mine. As always his kiss makes me sigh and close his eyes, almost like a daydream; I exhale slowly while I place my arms behind his neck, hoping that with this act of light selfishness he realizes that I don't want him to be apart from me and that I neither want this moment to end.

He gives light pressure until something wet goes through my lip, his viscous and grotesque sign, but now it no longer seem to be something completely bad. However, when we change the position of our hands (mine on his back and his cradling my cheeks), he starts to move his hips forward and backward at a slow pace, highly premeditated, telling me too many things with it.

"Now I want yours in mine".

"Okay" I say with a sigh, without opening my eyes.

He seals his lips with mine and splits them a little, nervously I push my tongue forward until I touch his, I sigh with that first act and hang on to his shoulder blades. The beating of his heart quickens with each moment that we continue in this position, while I'm the one who takes a little control, even the sighs he lets out on my face encourage me to follow.

I tilt my head slightly to the right and that gives rise to something like a fight can begin, he tries to abate my tongue but I don't allow it, I try to do the same and he don't let me, it's frustrating that he wants to take away that little power that I had.

His thumbs keep caressing my cheekbones and the sighs now become into laughter and growls, that combination makes the idea in my head to don't seem so crazy, so that I hold his tongue with my lips and make a small suction. That seems to stun him enough to stop moving in the act.

I open my eyes while we both breathe in a heavy way, watching him blushing is something I didn't think I would be able to get in a million years, and seeing that the blush is notorious on the tanned skin of his shoulders it makes me feel much better about myself and what I'm capable to achieving.

"Are you sure… you've never… kissed anyone…?" I nod and lean to press my lips lightly with his.

"First time, I swear".

"That was a dirty trick, also it never happened to me…".

"I'm the best" I smile arrogantly for the first time in years.

"We'll see about it, but now I want you on top of me".

His hands slide under my back while at the same time he rolls on the mattress, I straddle his waist while his hands are placed in mine, I place my hands on his shoulders and slide them slowly down until I place them in his forearms. This is the best time of my life.

"Now comes what I like the most, biting".

"You mean cannibalism" he winks his right eye.

"Call it whatever you like, it's the best".

"It just involves that?" I frown since it doesn't seem so difficult.

"It's not as simple as it seems, you could overdo it and cause a nasty accident".

"I think I can control myself" I wink my left eye.

"Then come here".

I slowly lean over him and I'm the first one to kiss him, I guess due to this position for some reason he has given me a little more domain on the moment or something. I take his lower lip gently with my teeth and give it a little tug, his hands clings to my waist in the act, besides that something begins to get bulged under me…

I let go of it and he does the same with me, after letting it go he battles for dominance with me, which I yield quickly since his fingers slide in some way under my shirt, if they weren't moving a little I would barely notice it.

My hands go all the way up to his hair and I cling to it with a little more force than the necessary when he begins to caress my sides with his hands wide open, I hadn't realized they were so big. I come back to bite his lower lip with a more aggressive tug, getting him to boost his hips up and split apart, I was really enjoying our little moans.

"That was the most exciting thing in the world…".

"Yeah, I can feel it right now…" even if I try to I know that my blushing will be the telltale on the fact of feeling that this can go straight to another level if he don't stop or I don't stop at some crucial point.

I turn to lean over him again but now I only kiss him slightly, my lips are feeling a bit swollen and I can swear that they will not be looking good later or on tomorrow morning.

His right hand keeps caressing my side while the other one stays still at my side, my left one cups his cheek and I don't stop laughing like a fool until it reaches a point where my right one manages to find his, slowly our fingers get entwined and that's when I stop completely, realizing that this is the time where everything ends up not for the fact that it must do it, it's the first time he takes my hand in that way.

"Jay…" I whisper when I move my head up enough to look into his eyes.

"Yeah?" he grins with that blush still present on his cheeks, I can see I'm in a similar situation on the tip of my nose.

"You're… holding my hand…" I outline the obviousness of the moment, and I can't believe this really is the most relevant thing I can take out from what we just did.

"It's something bad?" he frowns slightly.

"No, of course not, it's just…" I hesitate and make a superhuman effort to look into his eyes, "it's the first time you hold my hand".

"And I assure you this will not be the last one".

To rectify that he takes my other hand and kisses my knuckles again, then he kisses the ones on my other hand, and finally he gets up to hug me, bringing back those sudden blushes that I think I will get used someday.

I bury my nose at the point where his shoulder becomes his neck while his fingers trace small circles on my back, I wrap his torso with my arms and let out a sigh that always accompanies a time like this.

"I hate you, Carlos".

"I hate you too, Jay" he ducks his head and kisses me again.

The warmth of his body and the security that I feel to be in his arms lets me yawn calmly, I know that he probably will be here when I wake up, or perhaps he'll be looking at me while I sleep, like he usually does on many occasions when I pretend that I do it, but either way I know he'll be there.

"Go to sleep with this in mind: I like your freckles, your eyebrows, your height, your smile, your voice, your lips and your cheekbones, the fact that you're smart, that you're a lousy villain, that you defend something you really care about instead of letting an idiot to get rid of it because it wants it, the way in which you speak, this kind of moments, all of this and a lot of other things that had made that, over the years, my feelings for you are real" I cling to his back for listening all this while I feel I'll fall asleep at any time, I simply can't believe what he says. "I held your hand to give you enough proves that this is real, all of this, since I'm sure you think that all those people have some kind of relevance to me, and it's not like that, but it's something against I can't fight because… well, you know that, wanting to get something from them. You're the only person that I really want, Carlos, so sleep with that in mind; I'll be here for you even if the sun explodes, and after that".

I push aside the fatigue in my body for another moment to kiss his neck, slowly, going all the way up with a slow pace until I reach the back of his left ear, I go back to sigh when his hands get placed on my lower back and he pulls me as close as possible to his body.

"I like your voice, your way of acting and thinking, feeling protected when I'm in your arms, having those funny fights that we both are so used to have, when you smile to me, when you kiss me, when you hug me, when you talk to me, when you let me see that side of you that no one could ever see" I'm not sure if it is an effect of this time or because I really feel that'll fall like a tree being felled, but there are a thousand things on my mind right now about him, about my feelings and about us. "I can sleep now knowing you will be there, and when you need me you should know that I'll be there for you too, even if the moon collides against the Earth, and after that".

I still have some forbidden words that are tingling on my lips to be said, but… not this time, or at any time later.

I close my eyes slowly while I hear him humming a song that turns to be vaguely familiar for me, something inside my head reproduces it at the same time I hear it coming out from his throat, and that combination is so similar to a lullaby that I barely notice when he leans back and holds me in his arms as I fall unconscious for today.

* * *

I still don't understand why our dorm keeps being the rallying point for our plans, but I also have in mind that if someone suspects of what we do and decides to investigate then Jay and I would be the first one to be blamed besides being sent back to the Isle in the act, that while the girls would still be here, trying to complete the plan somewhere else.

"Hurry up, we must review the plan again".

We have reviewed the plan about ten times, but whatever.

We enter to the dorm and Mal rushes to extend some piles of plans and drawings on the table we have available, she's dedicated to mutter under her breath about how proud Maleficent will be from her if she gets this whole plan to work out with great success.

While she thinks about herself, Evie, Jay and I keep moving shuffling, partially exhausted from the long day and for having to monitor all of this again. I feel too tired and with many things in mind; I used to have a great interest and curiosity about technology, but now that I know that mom can be just a call in the computer away it's not something with which I would like to keep having a high level of interaction. I feel partially good knowing that there are people who would do anything to make us feel more comfortable being here, but everything was better before seeing her again.

I leave Dude on my bed, he's still trembling a bit after seeing mom for the first time, and I'm also trembling at the thought that she could actually use him to design something at the expense of him being something I care about. I will admit silently that I don't want her to leave the Isle, none any of them.

"Okay, we all know what this looks like" we look at the drawing of the wand, Mal really has talent for this, but this is a life or death plan, focus on that. "So be up on the dais, under the Beast's spell jar, then be coming in from here. I will be in the very front, you all will be up in the balcony".

"Okay" Evie says, and I can tell that she's not completely devoted with this. Actually… any one of us is in with this, at least not anymore.

"Carlos?" Mal says, and finally I feel part of something, I don't want to be a part of this anymore. What is wrong with me?

"Okay, so I'll find our limo so we can break the barrier, and ah, get back on the Isle with the wand" I look at Jay for a moment and he's telling something with his expression, I could say that he means 'don't do it' but there's no way out from here.

"Perfect" she says, smiling, seriously taking the role of the planner on a huge robbery, taking away that ability from Jay. "Evie?".

"Yeah?".

"You will use this to take out the driver. Two sprays and he'll be out like a light".

"Okay" that settles it all.

I look at everybody and scratch my nape, seriously not knowing what is wrong with this whole plan, or with my stupid life if I want to be the victim this time. This is our parents plan, they never actually asked us what we wanted to do or how we wanted to get it, so I just go back to my bed to rest a bit and spend some time with Dude before the whole hell broke loose.

"M? You wanna break Ben's love spell?".

"Yeah" I look up since I wasn't expecting that answer, I can see that everything in her face says 'busted' but surely she will try to find an excuse for that, she always does that when she's busted. "You know, for after".

"I don't…" Evie sits and hesitates in her words.

Sure, we all know that her cookies had the planned effect on Ben, and I'm sure that Jay stills has the rest of them hidden somewhere, but Evie told me (it had to die as a secret) that Mal had started to see Ben differently, not like another piece in the important game to get the wand, according to her she started to believe that those feelings that she tried to get were becoming true, and it scared her, so she was scared to ask before, and I'm sure that she's more confident with Jay and me around.

"I've just been thinking, you know when the villains finally do invade Auradon, and begin to loot, and kick everyone out of their castles, and imprison their leaders, and destroy everything that is good and beautiful, Ben still being in love with me just seems a little extra… cruel".

I wish I could have her ability to just move aside my feelings and do what I have to do to get my mother to love me, in her evil and twisted way. But, again being the victim, there's nothing I could do for my special mother to love me, and even if we succeed in this the life that shines in front of me is not one that I want.

Mal can't handle the look from Evie and she just takes her spell book and runs away, leaving me with some questions about if this is a good idea or not, Jay kind of worried for his expression, and Evie stays more confused than she already was about her best friend. She's our friend anyhow, but she loves building walls to keep her safe from the world.

"M?" she says but she know it's worthless, once Mal goes away there's nothing that could bring her back.

I pet and look at Dude for a while, knowing that I will have to leave him back, I will have find a place where I could hide him so mom could never find him and make those horrible earmuffs that will not leave her blurred mind until she gets them. I'm sure she would make them and wear them just to show me how cruel she could be with things that someone else loves.

"I don't want to leave you behind" I whisper against his head and kiss him between the ears, trying to swallow the lump in my throat that surely will become in stupid tears. Dude seems to get my words since he growls and licks my cheek before putting his head in his paws.

"I need to find her" Evie finally says, standing up.

"You know how she gets when she's having second thoughts" I look at Jay since I thought he was going to remain quiet for the rest of the night, he rolls his tourney stick in his hands while he looks at a point in the nothingness.

"We all are having second thoughts, and if you try to deny it then you're a terrible liar" Evie raises her voice just enough to make me feel scared, she never had raised her voice before, she's always the peaceful one among us.

"I'm having second thoughts about this, yeah…" he sighs and looks at me, surely he knew that I would be staring at him like always, but then he looks at Evie and he scratches the back of his neck nervously. "I don't want to lose the most important thing that I have because they want to get out from there".

They exchange a couple of glares, then both of them roll their eyes and, culminating with their simultaneous act, they let out deep growls. By doing that I find it a bit weird to believe there was a time when Evie tolerated and accepted Jay's flirtations, to finally send him straight to hell. I guess there's a little resentment living there, or this plan is just intended to split our ways and put our evil friendship to the test.

"Whatever, I have to find her".

Evie takes some prints and runs as fast as she's allowed by their high shoes, closing the door with a loud whip when she goes out.

I look at Jay while he finishes collapsing into his place, his tourney stick falls to the ground and he puts a pillow over his face, by the movements that he's doing I know he's drowning endless insults against it, then some screams and deep growls, after that he raises his arms to the air, like if he were asking for some kind of holy light at this time. Finally he remains motionless, breathing in a hectic way while he leaves the pillow there.

I get up only to turn off the light and take a sweatshirt to wear it, I cover my head with it while I refuse to look for a way to find a place next to him, I lay on my mattress on my right side, giving my back to him and to Dude. I close my eyes but I don't feel exhausted anymore, it's rather my way of thinking there may be a way out of this if I just don't see what happens in front of me or I realize what happens around me.

I hear him getting up, walking and stopping at almost the same moment, some of his joints crack while I'm sure he's contemplating his tourney trophy, as he does every chance he gets while we're here, or when he's not he talks about how important he is in the team, or when he recognizes that there are some players who can be good too.

I hear him walking again, now all over the dorm, tearing some sheets of paper while whipping close a couple of drawers and mutters his thousands of nonsenses. I let out a long sigh of middle frustration while I cringe a little when I feel a cold draft coming in.

"Carlos, c-can we… talk?" a sudden chill seizes my back since those words remind me that nothing good can follow them, or perhaps this is the time when he will want to ask me something about the veracity of my feelings and if that very intense moment that we had meant something.

Or maybe I'm mentally ranting about everything that has happened in a month and the consequences it may have on the matter.

Yeah, it's only that.

When I open my eyes the first thing I see is Jay sitting on the window frame, swinging a leg in the outside, he's contemplating the horizon but he has the tendency to look up, there at the starry sky, another complete opposite to what we're used to on the Isle since the sky back there tends to be yellowish due to the barrier.

"Actually I don't have a lot of spirit to talk…" he stops his moment of contemplation to look at me. The way in which he frowns slightly and his lips are in a straight line tells me that he really wants to get out whatever he has to say. I can't deny it from him, again. "Fine, let's talk".

He goes back to look outside the window and outlines a small smile while he swings his leg with a little more encouragement. I prepare myself for anything he can say after all these moments of silence, awkwardness and tension that have happened after that stupid call with our parents.

"Sometimes I wish that the stupid stars could grant wishes".

I roll my eyes and turn to be on my left side, I stroke Dude's fur, enjoying the strands between my fingers and the warmth that comes from his small body, knowing that, if everything comes out right tomorrow, this will be the last night I can spend in his company.

Or… with Jay's…

"Do you?" I say, kind of getting interested in his wish.

"Yeah".

Silence, a very awkward silence, it's one of those occasional silences that neither he nor I know how to break it, in such situations we approach to it and we immediately fell silent again, and it's mostly broken by the sound of crickets in the outside and the wind blowing.

Although this is an awkward silence it's rarely necessary. I look at it from time to time, he has his eyes fixed on the horizon and keeps having a slight frown. For all the time we've spent together I know he's thinking deeply many stuff, more than before.

"Maybe you should wish it now, there was no magic before" I turn back to look at him, he smiles a little, but not like if he really felt happy.

"Even so I don't think that they can grant my wish".

"Which could be that wish if a stupid star can't grant it?" I get up a little, with full curiosity taking possession of me.

"Simple: being able to stay here, in Auradon".

I see him widening that little smile that tightens his lips, his looks down and shakes his head while a nervous laugh comes out of his throat. I never thought I would be the only one who wanted to stay here for a little more time, or for a lifetime, whichever that comes first. Auradon is not _so_ bad after all.

"It's a difficult wish to grant".

"Last night I asked for it to that one, the little one that shines next to Orion" he points to the sky, like if from here I could see the star to which he refers. I'm not planning on getting up.

"Orion was a giant…".

"I know that, and we may need all those features that can have a giant if things don't come out as how are they planned" I frown because I don't understand where all this is coming from, but I say nothing more. "I also asked it to bring my couch. I mean, the bed is comfortable and all but oh damn, how much I miss that old thing".

That couch he talks about if his life, it's the first thing he could get from Jafar as a gift after he successfully managed one of the biggest heists that he could have performed at his eight years old, to infiltrate in the mansion of Lady Tremaine and steal a couple of necklaces from her ugly daughters.

If my memory doesn't fail, and it doesn't tend to do so, the famed couch must still be next to one of the large windows of the store of his father, at the precise point where he often tends to climb to go back home, and where he collapses up to early hours of the morning to start a new day of theft and looting.

He entwines his hands on his right knee and plays with his thumbs, nibbling his lower lip a little as the wind ruffles his hair. This is one of the few times that I see him making his nervousness movement, he don't usually feel nervous about anything or anyone, he's always the one that inspire on us some confidence to go on with our lives.

"I thought you wanted to talk".

"I am talking".

No, he's not, he's simply talking about nonsenses, his wishes to the stars and all that he would like to get from there are that kind of things that most people would keep to themselves, he's just… oh…

Oh! Now I completely get it! He's _talking_ to me, we never before had spoken in this way, never.

"You want me to talk more? Fine, I like the scandalous music but I can also enjoy a slow song, my favorite color is brown, I also like chicken and stargazing before going down to bed, I like to run and jump from one building to another, I like tourney and I find some people from the team to be somewhat pleasant, also…".

"I like to sleep, I hate the taste of coffee, with a little bit of milk and sugar all gets better, but anyway I don't like completely. I also like chicken and those chocolates with chunks of cookies inside, the huge books about history of the kingdoms from the library and some about science fiction are becoming the best I have ever read, I want…".

I lay completely on my back while thousands of words and nonsenses come out from my lips, like from his own, and I don't remember the exact moment between the candies and the books that abound in the library it happened but when I see a shadow appear at my right I notice that he's standing next to me, looking at me, like if he was going to kill me here and now. I guess he will do that because I interrupted him, but I seriously thought it was time to talk.

"Move" he orders when he stands next to me, I obey him and move away just enough so he can sit beside me.

Before I could turn my head to not stare at his pants one of his hands gets placed under my chin, he pins me down there before lifting my head and placing it on his lap.

"Hey there" he looks into my eyes and winks his right one.

"Jay, I…".

Before I can make any objections or any movement to move my head off from him it's when he starts to slide his fingers through my hair, slowly and covering the full extent of my head, giving me a weird feeling. I don't know if Dude feels the same when I pet his head, which turns to be something like mixing some affection, happiness, companionship, telling someone that you're there, and also sudden sleepiness.

He leans suddenly, his nose rubs with mine and a stupid squeak escapes from my throat without my permission, I let my eyes closed to avoid that looking of mockery or to see if he decides to do it again and the same reaction comes back.

"You're cute, very cute actually" I open my eyes slowly, instead of seeing derisively or something like that written on his face I see seriousness, and I don't know if that's a good thing.

"I am?" I raise a hand to start playing with his hair, looking at the tips and to his eyes.

"You are".

"Well, I think you're cute, but more than cute you are… sexy, just because you're older".

He laughs and keeps caressing my hair, taking the strands between his fingers and going from the roots to the tips all the way before dropping them and taking the next lock. I remember the first time he made a comment about it, thinking it was dyed or something like that, until I finally made him to understand that for some strange reason it had the tendency to grow like that, and it's not like if I wanted to change it. I like it.

Suddenly he stops, I stop feeling his broad fingers in my head and I push myself forward, looking for his hand or whatever, but something. He laughs about it, and right now I can't feel more ashamed.

"You like me to do this, don't you?".

"Don't ruin it" I let out a small sigh of relief when he continues.

"What's going on with you today? I feel you… I don't know, aggressive? Yeah, that, and it's not something very usual in you if I think about it" I snort.

"Talking with mom put me in a bad mood".

"Really?" the sarcasm in his voice is so obvious that I almost feel it like a punch in the stomach. "I hadn't noticed".

He looks at me and says nothing for a period of time that resembles to be long minutes, he smiles in the meantime, but actually it had been a couple of seconds, he widens his smile and leans over to kiss my forehead, then he do it in the middle point between my eyebrows, then on my nose and the kiss I thought would come to my lips never becomes a reality.

"Maybe you will think that I'm acting just for being stuck in a fairly desperate situation, and I don't care, but I know that if dad gets a lamp that works and your mother finds a puppy in a dark alley for you to skin off then I will not get another chance, so I'll say that…".

"I heart you".

Forbidden words! No! Why?! No!

My throat gets dry in a blink. No… I didn't say it… I said it? I said it, he heard me but something in me expects him to think it was his imagination, or maybe I'm inside some kind of weird dream, but… why?

He stops his caresses in my hair again and I see him slowly moving his hand away from me, in a contrary action to the indecipherable expression on his face he leans a little closer to me, but now all I want to do is to flee… but flee from what if this was all my fault? ALL.

Those words… I can't believe I said them… no…

"What…?" he says finally, stunned however.

Since I can remember every moment of our interaction has made from my life something great. I'll scratch that, he had made everything seeming to be the most impressive thing ever.

I can still remember that it wasn't long time ago when I was even smaller and he carried me to put me inside a box or some other metal containers for nothing to happen to me, I remember he looked at me into the eyes and told me that he would return to take me out from there when, along with Mal and Evie, they finished doing something to torment someone else, or when he insulted me to get up and keep running when we were about to be caught, or when he said some not completely decent words for me to overcome the fact that mom would make me suffer for not fulfilling her chores.

Jay has been there at all times when I needed him, living in Auradon allows me to say the forbidden words because here I don't run the risk of someone to catch me and cut off the phalanxes of my fingers one by one for me to learn to not even think about them.

"I-I heart you" I say again, hating that part in my head that enjoys to say the forbidden words.

He carefully looks at me, like if he were looking for any sign that my words are some kind of trick; I guess he's looking for my cheeks to tremble or if I'm having my jaw clenched, if I move uncomfortable in my place, if I start to sweat, whatever.

And… nothing happens… I do nothing, I only outline half smile and try to keep my eye contact in his eyes for more than ten seconds.

I'm being honest with him, or that's what I want to think. Why I can't trust in my words then? Could it be because I can't believe we're acting over this? Does the intensity of my feelings for him is not as strong as I thought it would be? Am I going crazy?

To stop making me to think that I'm in a dream he kisses me, slowly, gently pressing his lips against mine and he transports me to that dimension in which there's just him and me. His lips are almost as smooth as silk and just as delicious as rain on a hot day.

"And I you".

He caresses my cheek before joining us in a kiss while one of my hands slips behind his neck so he doesn't move away, not now. He looks at me for a moment and then we both begin to close our eyes, slowly.

It's like if my heart would be about to burst inside my chest, the beating in my ears are telling me so, I'm about to pass out by the feeling that comes over me, it's intoxicatingly relaxing while I'm still feeling that getting deep in forbidden territory is not so bad. Is it possible to feel like that now or I'm just letting my imagination to work excessively for all this? Whatever it is I never thought I'd say this: I like the forbidden words.

Perhaps the full moon sensitizes us too much, but something right now makes me understand that everything revolves in the fact that I'm not only listening to what he thinks or that we have talks in which we say everything and nothing at the same time, or maybe that we can end up in different worlds when our parents get the power over Auradon. No, everything revolves around that I want to stay with Jay in all the ambivalences it may have that single word, in some way I'm giving him way to do what he pleases with me: the consequences of something that I started on the Isle.

And if he comes to do me any harm, in any way that he can do it, if Jay does it then I'll know I can't object anything because I allowed it to him.


	5. You make me happy

Alright well, there's no excuse for this delay that took like forever, but I'll just say that I didn't have enough imagination to write it down. Ironically the next chapter is almost complete, I was writing it in my free time at school, so probably in this coming week there will be an update, although it's just a little possibility because I want to include too many things before starting with the drama. Anyway, fav, follow or review, keep feeding my soul, enjoy :)

* * *

 **You make me happy**

Simply by hearing 'Family Day' you can suppose that it's about another of those stupid festivities for the inhabitants of Auradon. They say to be based on the concept of family, in union, in the force that can achieve different events than they can call as everyday life.

The only thing I noticed of it that was seeing them rejoice about everything they own, the amount of castles, property, lands in their possession, future aspirations, wishes to have more offspring; over the fact that they are better than other people, even among the same inhabitants of the kingdom.

'You stole another girl's boyfriend; you enjoy hurting people, and you, you're nothing but a gold-digger and a cheater'. Whoever said words can't hurt is one of the most naive people in the universe.

I know unburden everything that happens inside my head talking to them is a bad idea, so I limit myself to kill what I'm supposed to be eating. All this stupid festivity has made me lose my appetite, it even murders my idea of thinking that Auradon isn't a horrible place. It is, disguised with huge castles, apparent neatness, absence of bad thoughts and candid people.

Stupid appearances.

"Hey guys, how is everyone?" perfect, Ben's voice, just what was lacking. This couldn't be more screwed up even if it wants to be so. "Yeah? Hey, listen, forget about it, alright? It's nothing, forget about it, let it go" I look at him sideways to see him standing behind Mal, besides that I don't dare to look at him, because of him all this is going on for bring us here in first place. "Tomorrow, after the coronation, I promise everything will be okay".

He whispers something in Mal's and then he goes, primping his jacket, something that seems like a nervous tic for not knowing how to react to a situation like this. This place is just the worst thing that can exist in the universe, what kind of people can even think to crown as king someone who has not the slightest idea of a monarchy, and worst of all an under aged guy?

I try to ignore the attempt and Doug to approach to Evie and light up the situation, even if they are talking to a couple of meters away from me, besides the energy that comes out from Jay's body is quite unusual, quite the opposite of what usually happens to him when a problem shows up.

Maybe Auradon is changing us for bad after all.

"How long does she think that's gonna last?" great, this simply couldn't be more screwed up, not now that Jany and Audrey are so close to Mal, ready to turn her to blitz with whatever they had ready. Mal is so mucho clever than them, they will not get away with it. "Mal's just the bad girl infatuation".

"Yeah, I mean he's never gonna make a villain a queen".

They laugh, just enough to fill the patience of Mal. She begins flipping through her book, her expression seems like if what they said had hit right on target in her thoughts and now everything was spinning out of control, but strangely it doesn't change the decision she has to show them what she can do.

"Beware, forswear, undo Jane's hair" and with the gestures of her hand, besides the scream of panic, I notice that the reversal worked. I allow myself a very small smile.

Long live evil.

"There's a lot more where that came from" she snaps out when she gets up to confront those who doubted about her. The time of threats, the struggle of good against evil; our parents are right.

"Excuse me, who do you think you are?" Audrey jumps on the defensive, trying in vain for try to confront Maleficent's daughter.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" the stupid smile and the courage of Audrey disappear at that.

When Mal reopens her book the whole dread arises, everyone runs off like a shot, just like everyone tend to flee when Maleficent goes for a walk around the Isle.

"I'm really looking forward to tomorrow" she says to us three, she notices that we need that something extra to no loose our focus. "Let's grab that wand and blow this Popsicle stand".

That settles everything, Auradon should fear.

While we walk I notice that Jay doesn't look up at any moment, he almost collided with two banners but somehow he managed to avoid them. I see him walking with tense shoulders, his arms aren't swinging in the usual way they usually do with their walk; is something like if he were trying to appear calm and peaceful but at the same time like if he were struggling to not walk with arms crossed and gaze down.

Insecurity? I think that could be said. Both in he and the others except of course for Mal.

"The plan's still standing" Mal announces when we reach the point in the hallways where we must move part. We form a circle but Evie, Jay and I keep our eyes on the floor. "We're rotten…".

"To the core" we finish the phrase that characterizes us.

Mal and Evie follow their path while Jay and I keep follow ours, we go with a strange cloud of a somber and low mood, similar to the one in the caves on the Isle… like everything that can be breathed and lived on the Isle.

"Jay?" I say barely in a whisper, forcing my throat to not tremble for the fear I have for his reaction. "Hey, Jay?".

"What?" he asks but not in an aggressive tone, or annoying, it sounds like a mix between discomfort and desire to not talk.

"You're good?" he pauses in the act, luckily I don't achieve to collide with him.

I understand him completely. If the questions considered like very out of place could get awards then I'm sure that one I phrased would have won the highest jackpot.

He turns his head just enough for me to appear in his peripheral vision, he frowns in a way that I had never seen before. He splits his lips to speak, trembling, but he closes them back on that straight line, he starts walking again and I follow his step walking with the same distance if he stops again.

I don't plan to say something to stop him.

When we reach the dorm is he who opens the door and enters, he takes his jacket reluctantly off and tosses it in his bed, I close the dorm's door behind me and try to make a speech that can put him a better mood because, if I try to get closer to him, I will be rejected, everything because that's how he usually reacts when he doesn't know what to do with those many situations that he considers are testing him.

"Jay… I know that what just happened was uncomfortable for everyone, but I'm sure that…".

"Have I ever hurt you?" he turns so suddenly that I step back in surprise.

He slides his hands into his pockets and shrugs, it's the first time that it's he the one who doesn't devotes me eye contact. I lower my head just a little to confirm my hypothesis while I walk a couple of steps closer, the slight movement of his head, the increase in the shrug of his shoulders and the tension in his neck confirms it: he's avoiding me.

"No, you've never…".

"Chad said I enjoy hurting people, but I don't" he answers, looking down, ignoring what I was about to say.

"Jay, you had never hurt me…" I doubt a little in my words.

I stop to think about two days ago when we were having some amazing fun on his bed and he placed his hands on my waist for me to move over his stomach, clutching tightly, kissing slowly and doing that everything in my rationality disappeared only for a few minutes. Those marks don't count as something he had done to hurt me, they were caused by the intensity of our fun moment and prior to bedtime.

"Oh no, I've done it…".

"No! You didn't, it's just…".

I decide to ignore my complete inability to communicate with words and I simply lift my shirt just enough to reveal the small purple marks inflicted by the strong pressure of his fingers on the sharp iliac bones of my waist. It's not like I really complain about it, they didn't produce pain at any time, and my skin has seen worse times on the Isle.

I hear him taking a ragged breath and I look up, he looks at my waist with his eyes completely wide and with an expression of pure surprise on his face, surprise combined with disbelief. He approaches and the tips of his fingers caresses the little marks, every touch makes me to contract my toes for me to not let out my choppy breaths.

"W-why you never said anything?" his touch is so light I could barely feel if I wasn't seeing the movement of his fingers.

"M-my body is disgustingly s-sensitive, also it w-was our moment, I-I didn't want to ruin it…".

He kneels out of nowhere, he kisses each side of my hips and wraps his arms around my waist, his head gets sunk into my stomach and it's right now when my whole body gets tense, both for his act and for the fact that he begins to breathe deeply.

"I-I'm… I'm sorry, I never wanted to hurt you…".

For the first time in fourteen years I'm witnessing the most human and emotional act that can come from a person. Jay is crying.

I bite my lower lip from the inside and hard since each exhalation sends shivers down my spine, my knees threaten to get weak at any time, my hands become fists at my sides and a tingling gets produced in my stomach. On the contrary emotions, it causes me anger to think that the words of a few people are able to hurt him this way. But it's like said once, he doesn't need me to defend him, so I will not do it.

I swallow hard to erase the knot in my throat and my right hand goes into his hair, I'm trying to liken the caresses that he gives me every night before bedtime, I try to convey him the same sense of calm that he gives me by simply being present in the same room as me.

To Jay crying is a synonym of weakness, like for many people at home. There is considered something you do just because you're weak and you're looking for someone to spend a look of disgust to you and walk by your side with insults, or ultimately for them to finish with your life.

For me crying is the peak that can reach a person whose emotional state is too exaggerated, either it could be by sadness, frustration, anger, or even happiness. I will never be able take away the title of the worst villain for having such thoughts ever since I can remember, but it's my different way of seeing a sad world in which nothing good could happen to me.

"Everything will be okay" I assure him while doing a masterful effort to no make my voice to tremble. "Everything will be okay".

I place a hand on his forehead, slowly separating his head from my body, I move away the strands of hair covering his face and then I wipe away the tears with my thumbs, stroking a little more than the necessary his cheekbones until it comes a point where no more tears come out and he just looks at me.

"I've hurt you and you've never said a thing about it, since we were little kids I've hurt you" he snaps with evident fatigue both in his face and in his voice. "I don't behave in the way I should now that we are something different, I'm still the same idiot since ever".

I kneel in front of him, hating at the same time I like the height difference between us, I place my hands on his shoulders and then on his neck, I pull him closer to me but only in a hug. My head rests on his shoulder and towards his face, he takes the same position and our breaths intertwine. I don't want nothing for now, just this.

His hands caresses my back and they draw circles, he lets out a long sigh, the relief that comes from it is so much that I close my eyes and start humming a lullaby of five notes that dad taught me when a storm lashed at home and he wasn't around to protect me.

"Though you deserve it I hate showing me as someone sensitive".

"I like it when you're sensitive".

The almost inaudible and embarrassed laughter along with the gentle pressure of his lips against mine after that manages to take my breath away.

Before anything can happen a bark from Dude makes me to open my eyes and look over his shoulder, I see him sitting next to his feeder, he cocks his head like if he were saying, in a sarcastic tone, 'oh, of course, when you finish being a geek with Jay you can come and feed me, I have the whole day free'.

"I really hate him" he growls when I move away and look into his eyes.

"I know" I kiss him on the cheek and get up.

Dude takes a couple of laps in his place while he watches me filling his plate of food, I go to the bathroom to fill his other plate with water from the tap, which is always purified. I look up in the mirror and noticed that fatigue is also evident in me, and right now I start thinking about the essays I should deliver in the next few days if I didn't know that at this same time tomorrow I'll see how all Auradon goes up in flames, evil will defeat good and the domain will be with our parents.

When I leave the bathroom and give Dude his water I hear a light snore, I look at his side of the room to see him lying face down on his bed, completely unconscious. I roll my eyes with a small laugh and I go straight to my bed, I take a book about History of the Exile of the Villains from under my bed and I try to study everything that has failed in some of the plans registered in it for our mission to be a success.

It's ambivalent now if I want our parents to leave the Isle or if I want Auradon to remain being the strange place it is now. Whatever it is, I will not be able to make many decisions in that near future.

* * *

I walk with my head down, I don't dare to look at any of the people passing by next to me, those who make small efforts to put their feet on my way for me to stumble, those which hit me on the shoulder with more force than the necessary when someone's walking in a crowd; I can almost feel they're pushing me against the walls.

The worst villain of them all in the entire universe has returned to the Isle of the Lost, exiled (in some way) from Auradon, shuffling back to that house with fallen tiles and mold growing on the wood from the inside, full of moths and with a torture chamber in the basement. Dude is safe and sound in the kingdom, everything is better in that not-so-awful place, just like it was before.

This is simply the walk of shame that every plague should get. I get insults that I really didn't know while I continue moving forward, the looks drill down to the depths of my esteem and they make me to hate myself more than usual; I'm weak, sentimental, a disgrace to everything that our parents taught us, to my own friends, that's why I was the only one to be sent here, everything I do goes wrong. I'm the worst.

Before I can knock on the door, after climbing the steps that leads up to it, and leaving the looks a little behind, it opens with a simple movement, then I find myself with those terrifying eyes that since always have looked at me with that sparkle of contempt. Mom crosses her arms and tilts her lips in a grimace of complete disapproval, I lift my head just a little to notice that the fingers of her right hand are drumming on her left arm.

"You're back" she says no more, and even so I can hear that she mocks of me.

I finally lift my head up, like if it was the first time when I do it in years, the vertebrae of my neck makes some cracking and I make a huge effort not to wince for the pain.

The smile that widens on her lips doesn't tell me anything good at all. If I'm sure nothing good is waiting for me then I'm also sure that none of the four of us has waiting a good future. But no, Mal, Evie and Jay weren't trapped in a small incident and were, metaphorically speaking, with an invisible mark from being the worst scum directly in the villainy.

"Come in, we have a lot to discuss" she turns around and disappears into a darkness that I don't recall that existed in the house.

I take a couple more steps, although it could arguably said that I drag my feet, my legs feel like if I had heavy weights tied to my ankles. I suppose it must feel like that when the consciousness acts, although in this case I don't think that it's an annoying cricket whispering in my ear in a paranoid way about what I should do and what not to do.

I turn on my heels and give one final look at all the people who saw my walk of shame, I focus a little more in the destroyed neighborhood and in Auradon extending on the horizon. I'd never see the light of the day in a very long time, that's for sure.

Anyway there's nothing I want to see anymore, all I reached to care about stayed in Auradon. Forever.

I let out a shaky breath and I work up the courage enough to get into the house, listening to the door hinges squeaking slowly and painfully until the door is completely closed. The air inside the house feels cold, too humid for anyone's like, with that smell of rotten wood and all that probably lives inside these almost fallen walls.

House, I returned to my house, my home.

Although… no, a house is not a home.

A house is just a building that's inhabited by people who share some kind of blood tie, or a tie of any kind, but a home… a home is a place where no matter what, when, where, who, why, how, etc., it will be a place where you will be understood, where there always will be someone for you, where there will be support rather than criticism, encouragement rather than contempt, affection in all its variants. The Isle of the Lost is my house simply because mom and the memory of dad lives here, Auradon is my home because there is where I got unconditional support (for some people) even when they knew my background, where I could forge some new friendships and strengthen the previous ones, where I could openly discover who in the world I am and what the hell am I supposed to do with my horrible existence; where I was able to share incredible moments with Mal and Evie, but above all those things where I could finally be, even for a short period of time, with Jay.

But, being sharper and reductionist in this matter, I can only come down to one conclusion: no matter the place, my home is where Jay is.

"So then, Carlos" mom calls my attention while she sits in an overstuffed single couch made with feathers of white owls that for some reason has a pattern similar to that we are used to wear in most of our clothes. "How does it seem like to you to be there, in Auradon? Is it as bad as I could see that it was on that video chat?".

She places her arms on the sides of the couch and crosses one leg over the other, like that it almost seems like she might be the queen of the Isle and not Maleficent. I can't imagine the kind of suffering that Mal could be going through right now if she had been caught too, Evie probably wouldn't have as disastrous day as mine, and Jay… well, I guess he would have all his heists from the whole month already planned for Jafar to not consider him as a good for nothing. The usual pace of everything would return to normal if the four of us were here.

"Answer me when I talk to you" she growls, raising her voice just enough to send a shiver down my whole spine. The usual pace…

"Yes, mom, everything was horrible".

"I knew that you wouldn't last so much there, actually not any one of you, you four are too small, need to know what true evilness is before you could even consider trying to implement it. But actually I'm surprised they have only sent back one of you…" she says, sarcasm in her voice.

"Yes, mom, we're pathetic villains" I shrug before she can get to think of that idea with another lot of comments that will not let me sleep all night long, or throughout the whole month.

"It's good that you know it, don't ever forget it. Especially you, pathetic little Carlos…" I swallow the lump in my throat; a low blow. "You're weak, too flexible, you have no ideals and you lack of motivation to give people what they deserve… just like your father".

That hits even lower than before, at the very core where my emotional side takes possession of me, and right now that part wants to emerge from the deeps to give her notice that her words are being really hurtful and that I want her to stop once and forever.

I slid my hands into my pockets and stare at the mounds of ashes from her cigarettes on the floor. I'm sure she left them there on purpose until the day when I had to clean them up, along with piles of dirty laundry and more hundreds chores that are excessive at the same tome they're stupid.

I hear her getting on her feet, the sound of her high heels makes a too deep echoing noise, like if we were stuck inside the depths of the caves where the bodies are decomposing, where perhaps some part of the remains of dad still exists with all the other dead people.

"You really are just like your father".

She places a hand on my right shoulder and I look up, listening to the suffering of my vertebrae. The penetrating gaze and her jay tensed tell me everything except that she retains fond memories of dad, and I was too young to remember if there was any altercation considerably huge between them for my theories about murder to be truly accurate, but since dad was something that I really loved with all my heart it's very accurate that had happened.

"Now come, there's something I must show you".

She starts walking and I follow her with four steps of separation between us, it's like if something inside me turned on the automatic mode in my body and in a couple of flickers we're already in the basement. Her sewing machines and the… other objects have layers of dust, another thing I have to clean up in my excessive free time that I'll have being locked up here.

We move forward until we reach the end of the basement, the coldest and darkest side of the house, where they used to be at least three dogs, of which there is no trace about any single one, like if they had never existed. Surely they were transformed into a piece of expensive cloth, according to her ideas, which now lives in her closet, in that vast closet that's bigger than the affection that she could ever come to have for me.

Perhaps she stifles her affection for her own son in creating clothes murdering living beings since she's unable to do so with me.

The strange twirl to the loneliness of the basement, which also produces that a few drops of sweat run down my nape, is a huge gray curtain covering at least four or five cages. It looks too clean to have being there covering the cages for too long.

"W-what's under the curtain?" I ask, regretting it when I feel my shoulders numb for some strange reason. Perhaps that's because of her grim smile, or maybe because it's not so often what many things are covered with curtains in a so casually and sudden way.

"Oh, it's a small surprise" she had never ever given me anything, that makes it worse.

A knot begins to form in my throat while my shoulders are still tense, a little more every second, the sound of her high heels resounds in my ears while she surrounds the cages, she slowly places her hand on the top and when she moves it is when time stops.

I freeze in my place, overwhelmed to see such a spectacle of torture and barbarism, terrified at the thought that some things could have stayed in Auradon. It's not about animals that are still breathing but without their skin, or about to see the agony of some small creature while the light is extinguished from its eyes as the cloak of death hangs over it.

I try to move my legs in their direction, Mal, Evie and Jay lie in the basement, crated and with evident marks of having known mom in one of her fits of moodiness.

"Come back" I listen a voice, whispering in the distance, a voice that sounds somewhat echoic. That's it, the dementia from mom is completely hereditary.

I keep trying to move forward, the tears that are sliding down my cheeks feel corrosive, toxic, perhaps it's by the dust in the basement or because this shouldn't happen in the first place. I shouldn't let this show up in front of her, not while I hear her hysterical laughter and see her pointing at me while I try to fight what compresses my body, but it is something I can't avoid.

"You're all too young, you don't know villainy, and I appreciate that Maleficent is smart enough to know who's the one who can impose penalties around here" her voice has pride and self-confidence in the pitch, just as she is especially when I'm stuck with her. The usual pace.

I look at the cages. Seeing blue, purple and green bruises on Evie's face is terrible when perfection is the accurate synonymous for all her beauty; seeing that weird deviation in the nose of Mal besides that slight trace of blood that goes down in a thick red string up to it get lost in the collar of her threadbare shirt is more than sickening, but seeing Jay on the floor, his back exposed between pieces of a tank top, with wounds that cry blood and with a breathing with which it could barely said he's alive, it's what makes me fall on my knees and feel that everything around is compressing me, darkness is suffocating me and I can't run away, not now… I can never escape.

"Come back" I listen to that voice more clearly, but still it sounds echoic.

I notice the tips of mom's shoes between my blurred vision, some of my tears dare to fall on them. In the next blink the tip of her foot comes into direct contact with my stomach, making that the little air that I could keep my lungs escapes out, causing a twinge of pain to go through each one of my nerve endings and it all culminates in a migraine that makes me look small black dots moving around in my view.

I take a heavy breath and barely manage to cover my stomach before another kick is made present, hitting straight in my ribs and I can swear that something snapped inside of me. I raise my head just enough for her to put her hand on my neck and she starts squeezing, slowly, embedding her nails on my skin and making everything around me to become darker and darker with every second that passes.

I look at her face, or I would if there weren't a sinister gray spot where it should be the psychotic look and the source of that deep laugh that would cause nightmares to anyone for days, even to Maleficent.

I finally stop fighting against the hand that compresses my throat when I feel that my lungs are completely empty, I let my arms to fall at my sides and let the cold mantle that came to cover the little creatures who once lived here to now place over me.

Dad…

Jay…

"Carlos, wake up" the voice whispers, now against my right ear.

I didn't believe that madness could turn out to be mildly pleasant, but I'm pleased that Jay's voice was the last thing I heard.

* * *

I hiss a few times and I'm still snarling, my chest feels compressed a little more per second, I slightly open my eyes but all I find is deep darkness and sleepiness. I try to stretch my arms but I can't move at all, I just can do nothing more than having heavy breathing and feeling tears in my eyes threatening to come down at any second.

But the warmth… the warmth changes everything.

This isn't about some sleep paralysis, if it was so then I would probably be lying on my back and with all my limbs stiff. I snort again and that's when the hand makes its appearance in my hair, stroking my nape with the full extent of the palm.

"Hey, hey, calm down" its Jay, his voice was able to get into my dream, somewhat altered but it could do so. "It's okay, you're awake".

I breathe with difficulty, my heartbeat threatens to burst my eardrums out, I open my eyes completely and I'm still in the middle of a state of panic and excessive disturbance so high that until now I notice that my nails are embedded in his right forearm.

He releases the hug that he has in my body and I get up in the act, sitting up and taking a deep breath of reality. When Jay lights on a lamp from the bedside table between our beds I see the eyes of Dude appearing at the foot of the bed, like if he had been watching me until Jay appeared at my side to protect me from my unconscious.

"Jay… Jay…" whispering his name achieves the compression on my chest to be cut back a little, just enough for me to not feel that at any time I will pass out. "It was… Jay, it was horrible…".

"It was just a dream, everything is fine".

"No, no…" I shake my head, feeling my neck sore and dizziness with every movement, there are drops of cold sweat running down my nape to my back. I hadn't had a panic attack so similar in years, not since the first night I knew that dad was dead. "It was a nightmare… a premonition… I saw what would happen if we fail tomorrow, now we have…

He stands behind me, he wraps my body in his protective arms and my left ear remains closer to his heart. He entwines our hands up to my waist and he slowly breaths against my neck, giving me his presence in this moment of silence since the strong beating of his heart achieves to calm me down another bit.

"Tell me what you saw there. If you say it then it probably will not happen, like it often happens with the good dreams when you talk them".

Without hesitation I start ranting about the gloom of the day, how aggressive people showed in the neighborhood, how the house felt colder and without some hope that something good would ever going to happen. Everything in that dream seemed so exaggerated but at the same time so real that I snuggle more against his body, putting more force in our entwined hands.

"She tortured Mal and Evie, she would probably have turned Dude's fur in those earmuffs I'm sure she still wants to have… and she tortured you…" I'm going back to run out of breath when the memory is trying to be present in full force, the circles he traces on the backs of my hands with his thumbs push it away. "She tortured you, for a moment I thought you were dead…".

"But none of it was real, it was a simple nightmare. Mal, Evie and the beast… Dude, are safe and sound, I'm safe and sound just like you. We're all safe for tonight, tomorrow we will be it again once we get the wand".

"What if we don't get it? What if we fail?".

"Whatever it is that can happen I'll be with you and we'll face it, together".

He kisses my cheek and widens a smile until I can do it too, that makes me feel that we both are really strong enough to face the wrath of Maleficent and mom together. Jafar will simply be devoted to remind him that he's a good for nothing, but he wouldn't reach physical extremes, like the Evil Queen who has never ever laid a hand on Evie.

"Try to sleep again" he says in a whisper but using a tone of mandate. "We'll do everything possible to make our mission a success, I promise you that. Just try to sleep again".

"I can't…" he lifts my head by placing his fingers under my chin, then his hand completely cups my cheek and he caresses my cheekbone with his thumb, I try not to give in to his soft touch or the warm look he gives me. "I don't wanna do it… she'll be there… she will always be there…".

I fight for my voice to don't break by such ideas, and those ideas to can actually become in real dementia and hallucinations. It's stupid to fear my own mother, but if I consider all her backgrounds and all that she's able to do if the power increases more her madness then it's something happening that would end up happening one way or another.

He splits our entwined hands and places them on my waist, he makes a weird turn before we both fall on the mattress. I remain on my right side and he on his left one, my head is at his height but my hands are imprisoned between my body and his.

His forehead gets placed against mine, he caresses my cheek with the back of his fingers, the tip of his nose rubs again mine and then he gives me a little kiss on the midpoint between my eyebrows, then on my nose and finally on my lips, making me to smile like the idiot in love that I am.

"Now I feel safe".

"You'll always be safe with me" I let out a yawn and close my eyes, sleepiness comes and takes over me at a fast pace.

I move downward, my forehead rests against his chest, he spreads a blanket over us for protection from the cold of the last night we'll spend in Auradon. His breathing in my hair and with his free arm around me is enough for me to consider that I can survive this night, and on those occasions in which I can't, if Jay is there, it will be enough.

"I-I h-heart you, Carlos" it's the last thing I can hear and to which I give a sigh of both relief and happiness.

* * *

"I wanna listen to my heart too" Mal begins to get her guard down, slowly, she gives up to the ideas of Ben about goodness and she starts thinking that a change like that could happen so suddenly. Is that possible? "And my heart is telling me that we are not our parents".

Watching that smile on her face when she looks at us answers me, a change like that, so sudden, it's possible to get. Or in appearance it is.

"I mean, stealing things doesn't make you happy" she says, pointing to Jay, "tourney and victory pizza with the team makes you happy".

I turn my head, something in me wants to express after hearing Mal saying that, but that smile he gives me and we share even when it was for just a few milliseconds also with that light grip of his hand with mine makes that what I had in mind to be erased, but it's substituted with something that stays completely in my interpretation: you also make me happy.

"And you, scratching Dude's belly makes you happy, who would have thought?" she laughs at the end, being right with that. Spending time with Dude certainly is something that makes me happy, but Jay too, and I'm somehow happy she didn't mentioned it.

The change is possible…

"And Evie, you do not have to play dumb to get a guy, you are so smart" they both laugh and are at the verge of tears, happiness tears.

Belle, Beast, Ben and Fairy Godmother seems to be touched by seeing that all the lessons they had given to us in the last couple of weeks are really working on us with that experiment they had in mind.

"And I don't wanna take over the world with evil, it doesn't make me happy" Mal lowers her gaze, like if she were trying to thing and gather together all the thing that makes her happy, "I wanna go to school" I didn't think she shared something that also makes me happy, "and be with Ben" that lights up the face of the new king, like if he didn't expect to be part of all this, "because Ben makes me really happy".

Mal takes a minute, like if she were trying to assimilate so much emotion to keep herself running in a right way. The whole situation is spiraling out of control, the time for revenge has now completely disappeared.

Satisfying the desire of our parents is now a secondary plan, for the first time the ones who are now important are us. My dream is still there, I don't want to face the wrath of mom now that we don't give priority to the mission that was assigned to us.

"Us being friends make me really happy, not destroying things" she shares a look with us. "I choose good, you guys" she stretches her fist, asking us to support her with all this.

The worst idea pops into my head.

If that magic that the awkward girl Jane threw for some reason hit the barrier surrounding the Isle then our parents are free, the plan is ongoing although we're not fully aware of it.

So, if we take the step to change, we'll be forced to have to give it back when the wave of terror, destruction and power of evil begins to reach Auradon bays. I must not give the change.

"I choose good, too" assures Jay, hitting his fist with Mal's. She lets out a chuckle that mixes both relief and joy while she looks at Evie.

"I choose good" she answers, stretching her fist with the same mood that starts to come out from the moment.

The everything comes to me.

"So… just to be clear, we don't have to be worried about how really mad our parents will be?" they all laugh while deep down I am really worried about what could happen if the idea in my head is true. "Cause they're gonna be really, really mad".

"Your parents can't reach you here" Ben snaps, like if he could be certain about what's waiting on the future.

"Okay then, good" I answer no more, hitting my fist with theirs.

Mal gestures towards Ben, he comes closer with some hesitation but eventually he joins us, which causes the crowd to applaud and that everything becomes into a scene that deserves a photograph and a huge mural.

With the roar the panic resurfaces.

A green cloud comes into through a window, turning and forming a strange pattern until it manages to land to split us apart from those who were our mentors for a whole month. The smoke begins to dissipate and it's only then when Maleficent is present.

My idea is true, they're free.

"I'm back!".

"It can't be… go away, mother" says Mal, tired of all this situation that's filled of bad moments. Maleficent laugh for the attempt of Mal to settle up what she wants.

"She's funny… you're very funny" she says while she turns towards her. "Here. Wand me, chop-chop".

"No!" Ben yells.

Mal reacts and throws the wand towards Fairy Godmother, she uses her magic words to create a spell but Maleficent is more cunning and manages to channel the magic in her scepter to use it to her advantage, petrifying those who don't have at least a modicum of evilness in their heart, one of the many spells that have served her for her evil purposes.

Ironically I'm not petrified. There's evilness in me.

Maleficent laughs and starts walking towards the pedestal, amused by what she just created, she mutters under her breath while playing with Beast glasses, then she removes the wand from Fairy Godmother and makes a very audible comment about the hairs of her nose. She dedicates us a look, like if she just remembered that we are alive.

"Where shall we begin?" she says, talking with her airs of highness. "I know, why don't we start by getting rid of this?" with a swish of the wand she gets to take Ben's ring from Mal. "Perfect fit!".

She follows her act of being the best and take advantage of that nobody can do anything against her while her magic continues to have effect.

"Falling in love is weak, and ridiculous. It's not what you want".

"You don't know what I want" Maleficent takes a posture with which she tells Mal to stop being an insolent girl or she'll regret it for the rest of her life. "Mom, have you ever once asked me what I want? I'm not you".

"Well obviously, I've got years, and years, and years, and… years of practice being evil, you'll get there" she mocks like if it was something so easy to get.

"No, I will not, and I really wish that you'd never gotten all yourself" another warning movement for Mal, who doesn't seem worried in the least. "Love is not weak, or ridiculous, it's actually really amazing".

"I know one thing young lady" her patience is over, "you have no room for love in your life!" she points at her with the wand, it's now when I feel really scared for her wellbeing, and for the others.

I don't know what comes to Mal but she also seems to have reached her limits of patience.

"And now I command wand to my hand!" she stretches her hand and Maleficent movements shows that the magic of Mal is strong, so much that the wand ends in her hand in a blink. "I worked!".

"I hardly think so, I mean this is… tedious and very immature, give me the wand, give me the wand!".

"Hold on Mal, maybe good is really more powerful than evil" what am I saying, it's not a possibility, it's all too clear that it is!

"Please, you're killing me" she imitates a bark, in another times I would have been terrified by the sound, or by simply being her, but when Dude jumps on her it's someone else for whom I must worry about. "Oh, oh! Your breath, your breath, get off of me".

Jay tries to make true that we said before leaving the Isle, he tries to face Maleficent to take her scepter off. It's a vain act because with a frightening moment of staring at the green glow in her eyes, a comment about Gaston being jealous of him and an insignificant blow to his head she manages to bring him down.

"Enough! You all will regret this!".

The green smoke rises again, the shape resembles a huge creature, with thin and sharp curves on its body. When it returns to dissipate it's the first time that I see Maleficent turned into a dragon, one of the many things that have never been seen in a place without magic like the Isle is.

It's time to run for our lives.

We all step back while I hold on to Dude, the only thing I can do is to tell Jay to run as fast as he can, in addition to force myself to not let the weakness to take over my voice to get wavy because, if Maleficent manages to catch him or if the flames coming out of her mouth come to touch him, then I'm sure he'll stop breathing in the next second. I hold a little more to Dude to keep that idea to seize me.

Evie decides to come into action and she uses her mirror to project light and disorient Maleficent, she makes her to fall straight to the ground and she's prepared to do more until Mal takes her by the arm and tells her to put behind her. Sometimes I hate not having some kind of magical power, or the skills Jay have to escape from the problems.

"Leave my friends alone!" Mal jumps in our defense, even from Jay though I know in the inside he'll repeat a thousand times that he can do it alone, he's too stubbornly. "This is between you and me, mother".

The glowing in her eyes arises, I look away just like Evie since we could end up being her objectives just like Jay for trying to challenge her.

"The strength of evil is good as none when stands before four hearts as one" we approach, slowly, trying to be the support that Mal needs in this moment so decisive for all of us. "The strength of evil is good as none when stands before four hearts as one. The strength of evil is good as none when stands before four hearts as one!".

The usual staring contest ends when Maleficent looks up and Mal does something that raises the smoke again.

Her mother is gone.

"What just happened?" I ask.

"I have no idea" Mal sounds excited and scared at the same time.

"Did you do it?"

"I don't know" she answer to Evie's question while we approach to the little thing that is where there used to be huge and imposing dragon, something like a lizard lays on the ground.

"No, no, no, no, your mother did, she shrink to the size of the love in her heart, that's why she's so… itty-bitty".

"Is she gonna be like that forever?" Mal kneels at the same time as Fairy Godmother.

"Well, forever is a long time. You learned to love, so could she" Mal chuckles and stretches the wand.

"I believe this belongs to you".

"And I believe this belongs to you" she gives her Ben's ring, they share a smile and they both stand up at the same time. "You all have earned yourselves and A in Goodness class".

And with another pair of magic words, and more movements of the wand, Maleficent's spell is removed and everyone return to normal.

Seeing the moments that Mal and Ben share puts me in a very good mood, but it also comes that little shrinkage in my chest to know that I'm with the uncertainty that whether if the expression of my way to show and to who I want to show affection in public could have some sort of retaliation.

"I told you that if you talked about your dream nothing would happen" Jay whispers in my ear right, he surrounds me until he places at my right.

"But Maleficent could leave, the barrier is open. They're free" my chest gets compressed a bit to have that kind of ideas in my head, accurate ideas.

"I'm sure they're doing their best to put it back in its place, you don't have to worry about anything. Besides you noticed if, I would face Maleficent if it's necessary".

"But it was for the good of all of us…".

"I would do it for you one way or another".

I feel myself blushing and right now I want to be trapped in his arms, with my ear listening to his heartbeat, his hands on my back and his breathing in my hair. While I think about it what I wanted to say resurfaces in my head, the most obvious there may be in the universe now that all this horrible moment had just finished: you make me happy.

"Jay" I whisper because Ben is talking to Evie, "I want to say that you make me…".

"I know, it's not necessary" he says, sounding a little nervous, and with his arms crossed I know that's not the kind of thing he would say aloud or that he would like to hear so high. "I think that after all he's not a bad beast" he changes the subject, I stop looking at him and he stretches his hands to caress Dude's chin for the first time since he lives with us.

"Don't call him that" I frown but he laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

"Whatever, I'm not sure if it was very bold or very stupid what you did, but whatever it was certainly was very helpful" he says directly to Dude, that raises a little my mood.

"Yeah he was, although I couldn't move I noticed his courage for wanting to defend you" Ben involves in the conversation, he strokes the furry body of my new pet and Jay simply crosses his arms while he also rolls his eyes a little, "I knew he would be a good companion for you".

"Yeah, a brave and furry companion" Jay growls through clenched teeth.

"Hey!" Mal shouts when one of the servants places the glass dome that was covering the wand over mini-Maleficent. "Careful, it's my mom".

The servant bows in apology and walks away, Mal approaches to us while Jay puts his arms over our shoulders.

"Let's get this party started!".

With the probable threat that our parents can escape from the Isle if the barrier isn't raised again, in my mind I lose a little the idea of a bright future, but with a group laugh and something like a call to attack from the newly created group of former villains who are now good everything seems to indicate that whatever is to come is something hopeful.


	6. Something more than a forbidden word

Okay so, another chapter! I added some characters from Wicked World just because I liked them very much, and I think I could use them for some good things, and one in particular is the one which is going to give trembling territory and angst to this story, so wait for it. Also, since the movie is a musical, I don't feel guilty for putting these songs in this, maybe for the performers but I think the melodies fit very nicely on the story. Anyhow, fav, follow or review, they feed my soul, enjoy :)

Songs: Arms - Christina Perri (/watch?v=MeW0Sl0tNS8)

Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon (/watch?v=zpOULjyy-n8)

* * *

 **Something more than a forbidden word**

"Okay guys, now I'm the king and all that stuff, but it will also be my birthday soon, so do you know what does that mean?" asks Ben with a huge smile on his face, looking at Mal for a moment before looking at another point again since he's the one blushing.

Yeah, of course, it's time to kick out the VK's back to the Isle now the barrier is up again; this social experiment is finally over.

"Party?" asks Jordan, even more excited than Ben and the whole crowd in this huge table that we all now share for every meal in the day, and I seriously don't understand why I haven't seen her before. Then again I remember that she's the daughter of Genie, she lives in her lamp and I forget all about it.

"OPEN-MIC NIGHT!" I jump since I get easily scared for loud sounds.

Everybody in the cafeteria hears his message and the cheers don't take too long to appear, also with some suggestions of songs, that I don't even knew those names could exist, from the tables behind and next to ours.

"This is gonna be A-W-E-S-O-M-E, I think we all should sing about…" he keeps talking with that always-present smile, and he looks at me from time to time while I shrug even more than I usually do. Jay notices it since he puts his arm over my shoulders and pulls me closer to him.

"What's going on?" he asks with such a low and tender voice that I refuse to place my head over his shoulder while Ben talks to Lonnie, Mal, Evie and Jordan.

I look up for a moment and I see that Jay still glares and huffs to Ben in some occasions while he talks, like if with his gaze he could be able to break his nose, or his neck, or whatever.

"You know I'm not much of a singer, so I don't think I'd feel comfortable".

Back on the Isle the only singing that we, and by saying we I mean every single person in there, ever heard was when Ursula was trying to get her sea-magic to kind of work out, and she only managed to get her cave/home to fall over her since her notes were too high and deep the stone couldn't handle the vibration and it all fell down.

And secretly I know that I have talent in my blood because of dad, for what I can barely remember he was a great singer, and dancer too, but since there comes a point when in the middle of a song or in a dance routine where I feel like if I were betraying him for showing to the world what he taught me as a huge secret for living there, I don't I can handle an entire song in front of a crowd filled with lots of good people, and my 'special someone'.

"… and I know you can do it" I take the compliment but dammit, my reverie took too long to end up, I'm sure I lost half of his words. "I'll be there with you, and I'll sing too, so if you suck I'll be there to push you aside and show them that there are worst singers than you".

"Geez, thanks a lot, I guess" he ruffles my hair and his right hand strokes my cheekbone, slowly in the same way in which he does when he wants our lips to be touching, I look at him and he winks his right eye. I don't lean for a single kiss or a pressure because many people are already looking at us for being villains, and since I'm shy as hell I'll probably die for the wild blushing. "I feel lucky that you are with me".

"Exactly, lucky you, and partially lucky me" he winks his right eye again.

I punch him in the arm and we laugh, when he turns his head to get in the conversation about the songs I don't say anything, I look down at the table and poke a strawberry cake that I left for later with a fork. Turns out that, unlike Mal, I don't like strawberries, and also I'm in my limit because since the victory pizza with the team I discovered how good Auradon's food, like literally, I've been losing so much awesome things for not wanting to try anything new.

Perhaps that make out session with my hot teacher had something to do with it too, but whatever I don't want anything else, neither to think in that plan of a party from Ben.

"Excuse me, is somebody in this place?" I turn to the right and look at a girl with long blond hair and a cute baby blue dress. She looks at me with a little smile and I shrug because someone is talking to me, I think…

"N-no, it's completely free" she smile a little more and sits next to me, too closer, her leg is touching mine but if I move it would we be a mean to do, and I'm sandwiched between her and Jay. If good hadn't being my choice then I'll probably sit on the other side of the table, or anywhere else in the cafeteria.

While she starts eating, with her back stretched, her arms near to her body, taking small pieces and chewing all of them slowly, Jay turns from time to time to ask me a few things that I can easily answer with some random yeah's or with denials.

While I do that and then I go back to end up with some fresh fruit in a bowl in front of me (the entire opposite from the fruit we get on the Isle, this is fresh and apparently healthy) I feel a gaze on me, and when I look at my right I see this girls piercing blue eyes fixed on me, then I look down, her gaze is making me to feel extremely embarrassed and terrified at the same time. It's not the first time someone does that, since we set a foot in Auradon we four have got that kind of so focused stares, but this time it's worse, like if I were being judged, and I don't deserve that since this is the first time I talk to a girl, or to her, and this is the first time a girl stares at me like that.

"C-can I help you?" I finally ask, stopping my shrug.

"May I ask why I have not seeing you before?" the way in which she talks is weird, like if she had something stuck in her mouth. "Oh, where my manners. I'm Ally, Alice in Wonderland's daughter".

"Oh, nice to meet you" I give her a little smile and I finally look at her bright eyes for more than a few milliseconds, she has really beautiful eyes. "I'm Carlos, Carlos de…".

I hesitate about it. Sure, I'm her son, it's going to be a mark that will live with me forever, but anyway I would love not to say that I am. Maybe she was sent to the Isle twenty years ago, but yet I'm sure everybody gets chills when they hear the name.

"Just Carlos" I snap, looking at my not-anymore-yummy fruit.

"Okay, Just Carlos, and now that we were properly introduced I can ask again, why I have not seeing you before?".

Jay's arm goes back over my shoulders, I don't remember when he moved it away, and again he pulls me closer to him, he ruffles my hair and I force myself to not fall into his touch and hide my face in his long hair until I can rest over his shoulder, with his hands stroking my back and hearing him saying all the things he likes about me and all those cute nothings. And Ally is looking, I think.

"I'm kind of a transfer student" I say to answer her question.

"That's wonderfully awesome, I am a transfer student too. My mother's home is…".

"It's not awesome, at least not from where I come from".

"Why is that?".

She was alternating her gaze in a bunch of fruit and some hot soup while she was talking to me, but she stops in me in that last question. I like so much being heard by somebody else than my new dog, my best friend/'boyfriend' and my two other friends, and neither one of them actually listens to me.

"I come from the Isle of the Lost…" hesitating is the best that I can do now. "I'm Carlos de Vil".

"Oh, a VK!" she screams, and rather than scared she seems really surprised, almost excited. "I heard some things about you in the hallways and I really wanted to meet you, and any of your friends. Is any of them…?".

"Hey, why are you so quiet?" Jay turns his head and looks at me, he gives me a smile but then his nature makes him to stare at Ally and he outlines that stupid grin of his. "Why hello there, the name's Jay" I roll my eyes and snort, moving away from him, "Carlos, who is your pretty friend?".

Ally blushes, of course she will, but she doesn't seem delighted. No, scratch that, she's not delighted, because by how she nibbles her lower lip, her gaze and the way in which she's about to destroy her napkin tells me that she is completely mad, like for real. What the hell?!

"She's Ally, daughter of Alice" he looks at me, kind of lost in that description. "Wonderland?" I say and he nods, but deep down I hate to introduce him to her. "Ally, he's Jay, another… VK? Yeah, that, and those two over there" I point to the girls, "are Mal and Evie, more of my friends".

"Now I see, I'm finally able to meet you all" Ally smiles kindly, I like how she smiles.

"The Isle of the Lost rules" says Jay, leaning so much that his left cheek is almost rubbing against my right one. "What are you doing alone here, Ally? You're all of a pretty girl to be alone like that".

"I'm not…".

"Anyway, if you need someone to help you with your homework call Carlos, he's the brain, and if you need someone to cuddle and kiss then call me, I'm the boyfriend material" he winks and I nudge him in the ribs (totally a reflect, not a sign that I hate him to the moon and back) to prevent Ally ´s rage to keep boiling. "Right, buddy?" he shakes my arm, and damn I hate him.

I glare at him with all my hatred, like that time when he took down my raised hand in Remedial Goodness, and he just smiles and plays with his eyebrows, with how much I like when he does that. I don't answer to his question.

"It's good to know, but can we keep our conversation?" she looks at him through her hateful gaze, I nod and smile for her to keep talking. "Alone, please" she growls, talking straight to Jay.

"Okay, I get it, it's your turn to flirt, man" he shakes me and stands up, ruffling my hair again. "I'll go get something with chocolate, want some?".

"I'm fine" I smile to him and he smiles back. Damn, I finally see why people loves when he does it, he becomes in an extremely hot arrogant.

"Ally?" he asks to her, changing his voice to one in which he's not growling, ignoring completely his ways to act with a girl.

"No thanks, I'm good, but it's charming from you for asking".

He pats me on the shoulder and goes by walking, I scratch my nape with my right hand and move my head back to stare at his long hair, broad back, strong legs, muscled arms and round butt while he walks. I smile like an idiot and bite my lower lip, seeming completely like a schoolgirl with a crush for the sexy student of them all.

"Are you and Jay together?" Ally asks out of nowhere, I focus my attention back to her, she´s grinning while she has both of her hands cupping her face. That act is more stupid than the heart Evie does with her hands when Jay's not looking and she wants to piss me off.

Jay and I are not together.

Or… are we?

I mean, sure we kiss and hug and whisper stupid things at each other in the ear when we're sleeping in the same bed (he moves away my nightmares and he loves protecting/hugging someone in his sleep), and also we said that we heart each other. But we also keep punching our arms, we fight, argue and say really mean things a lot, but at least I can say we both enjoy that kind of relationship. We can't change it, we were raised that way.

"We're… friends" I answer, because that involves some kind of relationship and deep bound. "Best friends, actually".

"But are you two boyfriends? Do you date?" she notices that I'm rolling over the real topic, she's pretty good to realize it.

"Well… we…" I feel myself blushing, like crazy and per second, like if my whole body were being heated up with a candle. "We… kiss, and hug too, and too much now that I think about it. He talks to me about the things in his head and we sleep together, but beyond that then that's all we do".

"Then you are, that is so cute!" I could cover her mouth to stop her for saying such things, but it's kind of good hearing them.

"You know? I don't think we are, not for real".

Something aches in my chest, something like feeling betrayed or a thing like that, or maybe because we're talking about things that had been rolling in my head every day for almost two weeks.

"What do you mean?" she cuts a piece of bread with strawberry jam in two perfect triangles and hands me a half, I take it and eat it slowly just for being polite with she and her good action.

"I think we're just fooling around, plain and simple".

Why the hell am I talking about this kind of things with a perfect stranger? I never thought that my need to be heard was this kind of desperate.

"Before we came here we had our first kiss and I told him that I have feelings for him, something that is forbidden there. He said that he has feelings for me too, and since then he hadn't asked me a thing to make it official or whatever, that's why I think we're just fooling around".

"So you want him to ask you to be his boyfriend?".

Hearing that word tells me that I'm avoiding to be labeled with it, I'm trying to set free a thing that some part inside of me still wants to keep locked up and just to torture my mind. I gave my feelings to him in a silver tray and he's not taking them in the way that I thought he would do it. I should stop this right now before, now being selfish, I end up hurt.

But, on the other hand, I want to hold his hand in public eye, I want to smile and kiss his cheeks, or his lips, anytime I want to everywhere I want to. I want to know if maybe, with that word coming out from his lips, we could make from this some kind of a strong commitment.

Ally knows how to make her questions, and looking at her eyes while I talk tells me that I'm really being heard.

I like being heard.

"Yeah" I snap, feeling the wild blushing again. "I think I would like him to ask me to be his… his… that…" Ally outlines a white smile and bites her bread, whipping the corners of her mouth like a complete lady with her napkin.

There it is, a perfect confession for the perfect stranger while the guy who should be hearing it is who knows where.

"Then I think open-mic night could be the best chance, you can sing something about love and it could be dedicated to anyone in the room".

"You say that I should sing to him?" Jay decides to come back right after that, this time he sits in the opposite side of the table, eating in silence while Mal and Evie are focused in a talk with all the girls.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you" she talks in whispers now, good thing she does because Jay can hear pretty well even with his hair over his ears. "If he doesn't do it then you can take the chance to ask him to be your boyfriend, anyway only acts talk".

"I want Jay to be my boyfriend" there, I whispered it again, high enough for Ally to hear and low enough to not cause a change in his mood.

"Think about it" she eats her bread and stands up, I didn't realize that I talked so much for her to finish with her whole breakfast. "See you in open-mic night. Bye, Carlos… bye, Jay".

She takes her tray and walks away, she finds Lonnie and Jane in the middle of the cafeteria and stays with them.

Before I could sink into my thoughts Jay kicks lightly my calf, I look at him and he has his eyebrows frowned.

"Why was Ally so mad with me?" I look at him with hatred written all over my face.

"I don't know, maybe because you were flirting with her and you just met her _today_?" he shrugs but he also looks sad, like if choosing good were actually taking control over him.

"I guess I have to say sorry, or whatever".

That moves away the pain on my chest a little, still I have a lump in my throat, it could be moved away if he says or I say the right words in the right time, or with the right song now the opportunity is there.

"So, open-mic night" he stretches his spoon and I lean to eat the corn flakes covered with chocolate that he's eating. "You have any idea?".

"I don't know" I look at him until he can't handle it, then he looks away and I chuckle a bit. "I'll get something in mind".

* * *

I hit the tips of my boots while I keep reading for my essay about learning and behavior, in addition to its various applications. Although the subject is Literature the former Queen Belle, who happens to be my gentle but still strict teacher, achieves that it turns to seem to me very interesting the way with which she can relate topics that don't have little relation to the subject. She's smart too, perhaps not too much to marry Beast and have a so repressed son like Ben, but she's smart enough to make me get interested to know all about why these issues are somehow related.

"Can we go now?" I ask for like the fourth time.

Jay has been inside the bathroom for almost an hour, and the running water tells me that he's still showering. I get that we had practice and he's tired and soared for tackling, running and roaring, but it's time enough to have his whole being cleaned and nit; it took me like ten minutes to shower and get dressed, but I have to remember that I'm smaller than him.

"Just a minute" the same answer for the fourth time.

I grunt and pat my side, Dude hears that since he jumps to my bed, he twirls a few times and lays down, letting me to pet him for like the millionth time in the day. I'm going to keep him, the plan was ruined. I'm so glad about it.

Jay still don't let him to be on his bed, or near his clothes since he says our new pet leaves fur over them, but it's so obvious and I notice that he just don't like to have him closer, maybe because he still remembers that thanks to Ben I'm not afraid of dogs anymore, or maybe because he just don't like dogs.

Finally the shower stops.

I internally count down only five minutes, the time it takes him to get dried and dressed and all that stuff before he comes out of there. I focus again on my reading.

 _It is likely that conditioning is not a full explanation of why someone is attracted to a person and not to another, but it has bases which are easy to start their understanding. Classical conditioning is an innate mechanism by which someone learns to encode and store various types of information. In short, an unconditional reflex is made by an unconditional stimulus (US) and the response that this causes, the unconditional response (UR). In the attraction, the US may be the presence of a person, the UR would be the feeling that occurs in the body. On the other side there's the conditional reflex, which consists on a conditional stimulus (CS) and the response it evokes in a reliable manner, the conditional response (CR). Going back again to the attraction, the similarity of various physical features, the hairstyle, even the shape of the face of the other person, the fact of thinking about them can produce that those CS could end up within a guaranteed CR. This can be difficult to understand at first, but if it comes to polarize it to the various experiences that arise in our everyday life then it's easier to understand these approaches._

The door of the bathroom opens and I look up. Huge mistake.

"Hey, have you seen my towel? I just can't find it" he steps in the frame of the door, his right hand behind his neck, the bicep flexing gorgeously with all that smooth, tanned skin.

His towel is on his hips, hanging extremely low (I can see where the pubic hair begins to grow in that 'v' that he has on his pelvis!), his upper part is completely exposed and that relaxed grin and whole expression makes me to shiver in my place.

It's, literally, the first time I see the front part of his body completely bare, he always wear a shirt or a tank top at least, but this change is good, extremely good actually, although I notice that my pants are starting to get a little tighter more and more in my waist. Abs, pecs, happy trial, biceps, skin exposed, his calmed smile; I want it all.

If he decides to come, lean over me and kiss me just like that I'm sure my outfit will be gone in the act.

"Carlos?" he asks, teasing me and pulling me out of my reverie.

"Y-yeah…?" I run out of breath, I cling to the book and the mattress, leaving Dude alone for suffering of my grip in his fur. This is too much, but I _love_ it.

"My towel, have you seen it?" he changes the hand that holds the knot on his waist to flex his left arm. «Let it fall, Jay. Let. It. Fall».

"I-it's o-on your w-waist…" I hate this stuttering now.

He looks down and pretends to realize how stupid he was by not noticing it was there a minute ago.

"You're so right, you smarts drive me crazy for you".

It's like nine o'clock in the night but the sudden heat in the room feels like if the sun was shining bright and throwing a heat wave without mercy through the windows. He stands there for another second, then he finally starts to walk to his drawers, taking out some underwear, pants and a very nice shirt.

Even when he has one hell of a body, his back is so broad and worked that it drives me crazy.

Jay is not this kind of gym-obsessed guy, he likes to work out from time to time, and still he's not a ball of lots of muscles and that kind of things. Even when the front is amazing the back is better.

When the towel gets spread I just roll over myself and crash hopelessly to the floor, in the same moment when the towel falls too.

I see him turn on his heels to come closer.

"Don't come, I'm okay. The floor wanted me to say hi with my body so I did" if I didn't want to seem suspicious then the accelerated rhythm of my voice betrayed me along with all I just did.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard".

"Anyhow don't come, just… get dressed, we're late".

He turns back and I fight my urge to get up and see everything he has to offer to me.

It has been a while ago since I started to see Jay for his body, mostly, and I hope that doesn't change how I feel for him. Sure, I always stared at his arms more than the necessary, and he's a person, he's more than just his physical appearance, but now I want… everything, I want to get everything from him, starting with soft kisses all the way down to sweaty bodies, pleasure and… love.

I get up when I see pants on his legs and shoes on his feet, I shake off the dust in my clothes and catch him in the middle of buttoning up his shirt.

"How do I look?" he asks with a raised eyebrow and that smirk of his.

I place a marker in the book and leave it on the mattress, then I approach to him and move his hands to finish buttoning up his shirt, with how much he hates someone to help him to do anything. I only leave three buttons open to give some of him to everybody.

"Stunning" I look into his eyes, now I don't have to stretch my neck so much to do it. I'm growing, finally. "How do I look?" I ask while I slide my hands down his body and I leave them on his waist.

"Cute and stunning, just how you usually do" he settles my red tie.

He places his hands on my waist too and I'm the one who kisses him first, he's taken aback and yet he pulls me closer to him while we both sigh, he cups my cheek and sighs on my face, taking my breath away a little more.

Even when we have a fight for dominance, which I'm not going to give, now my heart is not going to explode in my chest. Yeah it beats fast, but it warms my chest and my whole being, the entire reaction of some substances on my body and brain to make me feel something more than a forbidden word.

Love.

I'm feeling loved for the very first time in my whole life.

I couldn't ask for more.

"Still I want to know what are you going to sing" he moves away to talk so suddenly that I move my head forward for more kisses. I open my eyes to see an inquisitive look on his face.

"It's a surprise" I kiss him one more time, to don't have this need anymore, and then we undo our knot of limbs.

I take Dude's belt and place it on his neck, just in time before a knock on the door make its appearance. Jay opens the door and Mal, Evie, Ben and Doug are outside, all of them with their usual colors in their fancy outfits.

"Let's go then" I say.

We step out on the hallway and to the outside of the building, a cold breeze blows and makes all of us to shiver a little. We walk to the courtyard where Family Day took place, there are some huge spotlights in the grass, they turn from time to time and the lights go all the way up to the sky, also there's the biggest tent I've ever seen. Outside it is white, when we get inside it is lighten up with some golden lights and candles, I see there's a huge stage, a band tuning their instruments, of course there is a dance floor, and LOTS of tables. I don't know why I think this is everything but a small party.

"Dude, this is amazingly huge… and… expensive…" Jay gasps when I look at him. I see that twinkle in his eyes, the one that shines when he's planning his way out when he has the loot on his hands.

I nudge him in the ribs and that seems to bring him back to reality since he blinks, out of his reverie, and smiles to me before we all start walking to the fanciest table of them all, literally. I'm sure there wasn't enough space for another ice statue.

Everybody take their seat while I start walking around the statues, watching Beast, Belle and Ben perfectly showed in the ice, surely Elsa had something to do with them, they are so worked that it's obvious they were made with her magic, and luckily this time she didn't froze the whole kingdom. I remember the time when, on the Isle, it was heard that she was going to be sent there, but in the end she never set a foot on it since she didn't do it for being evil, it was just a small and yet huge mistake.

"You like what you see here?" Ben asks, smiling and with his arms behind his back.

"Yeah, though this is too much. All of this" I say, shrugging and with my real thoughts on my lips. That wasn't supposed to came out like that, but I said it and I can't take it back.

"Yeah, it kinda is" he chuckles and slides his hand behind his neck, he looks down, something like embarrassed. "My parents always want things to be huge and extremely celebrated".

"But this was your plan, not theirs. Also now you are the king…" I look at him.

"And yet they took it to make it theirs, but I think its fine" he looks back at me and I immediately look at my feet.

I play with an imaginary pebble while in my mind I change the subject and now I think about the song I'll be singing when I set a foot on the stage.

I read a book about sentimental songs that was almost hidden in the very end of the library, and since while I was reading it I didn't puke all over the book for so many things about love and that kind of things, the description about me that I've heard for a while now is completely accurate.

The worst villain of them all.

The one I chose describes perfectly how I feel about Jay, all the things that I'm scared to say in his ear when we cuddle in his bed after a long make-out session, it's a perfect song for me to open up my heart to him, and… to the crowd.

Yet I'm not sure if my feelings are welcomed in Auradon.

I look up and Ben is still looking down at me, smiling like an idiot and with both of his arms behind his back.

"C-can I ask you something?" I say, looking at him for a minute and back to my boots. I almost punch him when he places his hands on my shoulders and gives me a squeeze.

"Anything, buddy".

I feel a shiver on my back, not for his words, for something else. I look over his shoulder and Jay is staring at us, he's murdering Ben with his gaze while he 'talks' to Mal. I give him a little smile and that doesn't seem to lighten his mood, now he looks more pissed off.

"Let's go outside" I shrug to take his hands away from me.

I walk to one side of the tent, the fresh breeze that blows outside moves the foliage on the trees, the flags in the walls, and it cools me down a little. I can't stop Jay from thinking that I like Ben more than a friend, which I don't of course, he is with Mal and he's cute and all but… no, I don't feel really connected with him, there's not this strong bound like the one between Jay and me, both because of our friendship and our feelings.

"This breeze is really great" Ben says, taking a deep breath and stretching his whole body.

"Yeah, it is".

If Ben yells loud enough after I ask him the things that I have in my mind I'm sure that the guards will be surrounding me in a second and throwing me back to the Isle in the next one.

I want to feel free to show Jay how I feel for him in public, so screw it.

"So, what did you…?".

"Is it something bad if I have feelings for another guy and I want to sing about it tonight but I'm scared that all the people here may take it bad and kill right there?".

Ben looks at me, surprised and yet still smiling, he walks towards me and places his hand on my shoulder, then he cups my cheek. I look into his green eyes and I feel panic running in my blood. Oh no…

"Listen, Carlos, I'm flattered, really flattered, but I'm in love with Mal and I don't think my people…".

"What!? Ew! No! I'm not talking about you!".

Damn! These people really think everything revolves around them, and, if I had a list of people that I like more than a friend, Ben would be in the very bottom of it.

"You don't?" he takes his hand away and sighs, kind of relieved.

"No, of course not. I'm talking about Jay".

«Geez! Really brain, really? You're just making me to say things that I would love to keep inside».

We stare at each other from time to time, not moving, his smile is not as wide as it usually is but it's still there, I play with more invisible pebbles on my feet while all the people begin to fill up the tent, their conversations are starting to get really loud.

"So, you and Jay? Feelings?".

"Yeah, that's it" I say, matter-of-factly. "I h-heart him".

That's it, I stepped over the limit, I'm going to live in the forest since I would NEVER be able to look at him now that he knows the cornerstone of my new-and-hidden-relationship with Jay and also that I'm something like in love with a guy.

I move on my heels, shrugging like if I were tied up with a rope until it hurts, i breath heavily for the expectation of his reaction, I'm also sweating for both this and my song. My stomach hurts, my head too, I'm simply going to die in the party before his birthday.

Still, I'm relieved. Yeah, that's the word, I'm so relieved that someone else than Mal, Evie and Jay himself knows about my feelings.

"P-please say something" I force my throat to not get hoarse and express the words without trouble.

"Jay and Carlos. Carlos and Jay" he says, slowly, like if he were getting used to the idea and to the way how our names come out together from his mouth. "Yeah, Carlos and Jay sound good, and I like that idea".

I look up and see that stupid smile still present, maybe a little wider, but there. Nothing in his body language screams panic or arrogance, or 'I'm kicking you out of my kingdom'. Instead, all in his expression and posture says 'I'm accepting how you're feeling about your best friend. I'm accepting you'.

"You're… not scared?" I ask, kind of shocked.

"Why would I be?".

"I don't know, maybe because I told you I like my best friend, that I like a guy. There are people who would be scared".

"Yeah, there are people, but I'm not one of them. I'm the king now, I must understand and comprehend all the things that could trouble my people".

Perhaps he's a young idiot but he knows what to say.

Some guests come near him to say hi, some of them even say hi to me with smiles or stretched hands, and some others with rolled eyes. Ben dismisses them by saying that he'll be there in a minute.

When no more people come closer the silence between us starts to become annoying, I can't break it because my mouth will never stop about this affection I have for a guy and all the other stuff in my mind.

"Jay is a hot guy, don't you think?" he snaps.

I want to think he said that just to make some conversation, so that I try to swallow the lump in my throat and calm down my impulses to punch him.

"Yeah, he is" I admit, feeling a light heat in the cheeks.

"He has amazing arms, I'm kinda jealous about them" I frown but refuse to look at him. "Also he has a bright smile, he's strong, adding that his face is tough and yet charming, besides he's…".

"He's more than just his physical" I finally look up, hating this conversation and Ben for talking like that about him since every single person here only focuses in that. "He's a person, he's insecure about some things, he has troubles like everyone else, he has feelings and emotions. He can listen to you and give you kind words, he's the entire opposite of a muscled douche, so that I don't want to hear more about only his physic coming from you or anyone else because no one knows him like I do, no one".

Until now I can feel my jaw clenched, my hands turned into fists, that scared expression on his face and that he's cornered against a tree.

I take a deep breath and my whole body relaxes in the act, I move a few steps back, Ben can relax too since he sighs and moves the back of his hands over his forehead to remove some sweat.

"I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to explode like that" I look into his eyes just to say that, then I look at my boots.

"You do heart him" he takes my shoulders and gives them a light squeeze.

"It's just that no one had ever tried to know him deeper".

"Or maybe he just feels comfortable being like that, I could say his true self, only with you".

I shrug to remove his hands and cross my arms since this is the kind of things that I would like to figure out alone, or asking them straight to Jay. However, Ben knows what to say.

"Feelings are something that any single person could have, but you can only experience them by yourself, so that I don't feel scared, disgusted, or anything of that now that I know how you feel about Jay" he lifts my face with his fingers. "I'm proud of you to allow those feelings to come out and guide you, you will not hear a thing from me and I'll make sure my people accept it".

"I don't want everyone to know… not yet".

"I'll keep it down, I promise" and he pulls me into a hug, patting my back and shaking my arms.

"Thanks, Ben" I say when we move apart, I feel sudden cold for some reason.

"Anytime bud… eh, hey Jay".

I freeze there while I hear his loud stomps approaching, he walks next to me and hits my arm with his shoulder, he pats Ben's right shoulder and I can't move at all.

"You're parents are here, they're looking for you".

"Oh, I should talk to them. Make sure to be inside in a while, the party is about to start and also the sequence for the performances will be said".

"We'll be there in a minute".

He never stops with his deep voice; he's angry, jealous in the least. Ben lets out a nervous chuckle and goes, the Jay walks in front of me, he stands there and I see his jaw clenched and hateful gaze.

For a moment there's just silence, the heat coming from him is not because he's wearing a jacket, he really is boiling with anger. I dare to look into his eyes for a moment and I find a so fixed gaze on me, trying to drill into my chest to make explode or something.

"I'm trying" he says in a shaky voice. Oh no! "I know you don't like when the girls come to talk to me or that I flirt with them, but I'm trying. I'm trying to fight against it but it's something that I've done through years and it can't stop just like that and there".

"Jay, I don't…".

"If you don't feel comfortable with this, with me, we could stop. I promise not to behave like an idiot if you want to be with Ben. I want you to be…".

I kiss him right there, outside the tent and with cheers in the inside after someone's speech. He places his hands on my cheeks and the kiss becomes rough, a battle for dominance with bites and moans involved, all for a few seconds that manage to take my breath away when we split apart.

"I don't give a damn about Ben, all I care, need and heart is you" I look into his eyes and caress his cheek with my thumb, it's the first time I do it and he seems to fight against his urge to yield to my touch.

"I want to believe you, but it's just words coming out".

"Then I'll show you".

I move away from him and walk inside the tent, feeling kind of hurt because he doesn't trust in me when I talk to him. The world is just sending trials for me to prove how much I care about Jay, and I do, very much, so I'll just say that it's enough for all that crap that comes against me.

"Alright people, it's party time!" says Jordan while she walks around in the stage, encouraging people to cheer and make some noise. "We have a huge list of songs and performers, so let's just being! The first will be…" she says, looking into a clipboard. "Carlos de Vil!".

Half of the crowd cheer and clap, the other half is expecting a good show or they don't really care about it.

I find Ben in our table and he lifts his thumbs up. «Damn you, Ben».

It's not a coincidence that after that little talk my name is the first one in the list. The air feels thick and I'm shaking, Jay's glare is not helping at all while he goes back to the table and sits down with his arms crossed.

"Carlos! Come here!" Jordan says, bringing me back to the world.

I walk with my feet feeling heavy, avoiding the waiters and also walking between the tables and the guests who were spread all over the dance floor. The steps that I have to climb up to the stage makes that some weird tingling come to my stomach and the shaking goes to my hands too.

Jordan places the mic in a base and gives me a warm smile, I tap in it to prove that its working and I finally look at the crowd while a white spotlight turns on over me.

"Uh, h-hey…" a sharp sound comes from the mic and the crowd covers their ears until the sound is gone, "hey everyone…" I say while I get all the looks from everyone in the tent, trembling like if I were about to be judged or something, but for the song I'm sure I'm going to be judged. "So… open-mic night and Ben's birthday, let's have some fun, I guess…".

I look back to the band and give them a slight nod, then I move my gaze back to my friends and I feel myself blushing. Mal has her personal smirk on her face, Evie lifts her thumbs to encourage me, and Jay… well, I'm not sure if he's still seems upset because I didn't tell him what I'm about to sing or if he is for how he saw me with Ben outside, but I just clear my throat and focus that this is for him.

 _I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart_

 _But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start_

 _You put your arms around me_

 _And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

I fight back with my stupid panic of looking up and I do it, luckily finding his gaze in my direction, and I never felt so good for finding his eyes on me and I give him a staring gaze, especially with these next words.

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home_

That gives the crowd something to cheer me and they get up from their places, a few people even gather together in the dancefloor to share a dance with friends or with a special person. On the other hand, Jay seems stunned because I sang that part straight for him, not even glancing down for a single and little second. I can do this.

 _How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?_

 _I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown_

 _I hope that you see right through my walls_

 _I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling_

 _I'll never let a love get so close_

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home_

These people really know how to party, I mean, they all dance in some kind of very planned choreography while I take the mic from its base to walk around the stage, feeling like some kind of talented person in this singing stuff. I would like to be dancing too, with that special someone not only because he holds my heart, but because he's also my best friend. Who could ask for more?

 _The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved_

 _I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone_

 _You put your arms around me_

 _And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go…_

Mal, Evie, Doug, Ben and Jay get up and slowly walk towards me. Ben takes Mal's hand and pulls her for a dance with the crowd, so does Doug with Evie, so everything comes down to be me in the stage and Jay in front of me, staring and smiling at me. Looking into his eyes gives back this lump in my throat and my moisten eyes; the feeling of betrayal against dad comes too, but it's mostly because Jay is really making his promise true about being there for me.

 _I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth_

 _And I've never opened up_

 _I've never truly loved 'til you put your arms around me_

 _And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

I spot Ally in the crowd, she's not dancing but she's with her hands nearer to her chest, she's smiling and seems touched because I took her advice, I dedicate to her some of the stanzas since she's amazing, Although I met her today she also knows what to say in desperate situations, I never thought that meeting a complete stranger in breakfast was going to led me straight to this, to sing openly about my feelings in front of a bunch of important people, my best friends in the world and my special someone.

 _I hope that you see right through my walls_

 _I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling_

 _I'll never let a love get so close_

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home_

I kneel to look into his eyes again, I fight back my urge to cry in this public place to just end up with this silly song about knowing that I belong to him.

 _You put your arms around me and I'm home_

The music stops and so does my performance.

I get up and the crowd goes crazy with that, literally, they're all standing up, clapping and whistling too. The people in the dance floor stretch their hands and I kneel back to hold them, the girls seem to find me somehow attractive, perhaps because it's not common from a guy to open his heart just like that to someone, or maybe because they think that I'm minimally attractive.

Whatever the reason is now my life doesn't suck like it usually does.

"That was incredible!" Jordan says when she appears next to me, she claps too and has a wide smile on her face. "Ladies and gentleman, the Isle of the Lost has talent in their kids!".

That's a weird speech but the crowd takes it.

"Make some noise for Carlos!" they do and I feel a little scared for all the noise, I try not to shrug and I make a little bow.

"Thanks everyone" and like a shot I get the hell down the stage.

I walk between the people, pushing and being pushed, the air feels heavier in the dance floor but a hand manages to catch the sleeve from my jacket and it pulls me until I collide against Jay. Mal, Evie and the guys are near too, they all just give some thumbs up and smiles but are more focused in their conversation.

"So, emotional songs, that's what you were going to sing" he arches his right eyebrow and smiles. I know that smile, he's about to burst in laugher.

"Yeah… I didn't say a thing to avoid these comments".

"Which comments?" he asks, using an offended voice.

"Oh please, we both know you're holding back your urges to laugh in my face. Go on, do it, anyhow I already showed you my point".

"And now it's my turn" he winks his right eye and that takes me by surprise. I try to get the words correctly in my head but I just had a mental crash.

"What are you…?".

"Well look at this, another person from the Isle" Jordan says, and for the smile on both Evie and Mal's face, the confidence smile, I know they know something that I don't know and that's going to happen. "Jay! Get up here man!".

In a blink he's almost in the stage, everyone makes some space for him while we go back to our table, but something is telling me that I will not be seated for too long, not now that he's finally on the stage and that the girls know something. I hate any kinds of surprises, this has to be a very good one for me to maybe forget that I hate them with my whole being.

"Nothing to say, let's get this party started!" Jay says against the mic, and that makes that literally ALL the girls gather together in front of the stage. I sink into my place but Evie's hand on my shoulder makes me to get up again. "You should be thinking that I'll be singing something to show you my awesome dance skills" he winks an eye and the crowd laughs, even I do it for some reason, "but, oh no, big mistake, I'll show you that we four, the VK's as many of you call us, have a heart".

Jay blows a kiss towards our table and a few girls in front of him think that it's for them. He seems to notice it since, lifting a hand to stop the band from starting with the music, he frowns and point towards us… or, to me? Hard to say from so far, but I think he did it.

Evie don't let me to be swallowed by the Earth, or by my chair, and she makes me to stand on my feet, we start walking towards the stage while Jay gives a sign to the band to finally start with his performance. I hate being watched, I hate the whispers, I hate the jealous girls that surround me, I hate surprises, I just hate it all. And yet I don't hate the fact the he's going to give me whatever he's going to sing.

 _I can't fight this feeling any longer_

 _And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow_

 _What started out as friendship, has grown stronger_

 _I only wish I had the strength to let it show_

Even when this bunch of crazy girls for him are still trying to guess towards who he pointed I get to move between them to get closer and closer to the stage, leaving Evie behind, feeling flattered and shy because I don't think that the slow way in which he says the words, the perfect pitch and the feeling invested on it could be devoted to me. I'm not that special.

 _I tell myself that I can't hold out forever_

 _I said there is no reason for my fear_

 _Cause I feel so secure when we're together_

 _You give my life direction_

 _You make everything so clear_

I'm finally in front of the stage, not breathing, hearing some whispers from the girls, watching him while he sways a little with the mic on his hands, and when he spots me in the bunch of people he smiles, the warmest and sweetest smile that I've ever seen on him, and the most special one he has ever gave me.

 _And even as I wander_

 _I'm keeping you in sight_

 _You're a candle in the window_

 _On a cold, dark winter's night_

 _And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might_

He looks deep into my eyes, in a blink he's nearer to the band and in the next one he skids on his knees until he's in front of me, literally the only thing that can split us apart is the stage. No more barriers or second thoughts of our feelings, now we're exposed to the world.

 _And I can't fight this feeling anymore_

 _I've forgotten what I've started fighting for_

 _It's time to bring this ship into the shore_

 _And throw away the oars_

 _Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

The conclusion sinks completely. I'm in love with my best friend, I'm in love with Jay; it's so embarrassing. He stretches his hand and I do too, with a quick and strong movement he manages to lift me up and I fall on my feet on the stage. We can't hide it, not anymore

 _My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you_

 _I've been runnin' round in circles in my mind_

 _And it always seems that I'm following you bud_

 _Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find_

 _Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore_

 _I've forgotten what I've started fighting for_

 _Even if I have to crawl upon your floor_

 _Come crashing through your door_

 _Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore_

 _Ooh-ohh, ooh-ohh_

He holds the last note longer than the necessary, but that gives more life to the encouragement and the cheers coming from the crowd for what he just did. The sound is even deafening than the one for me, he's the star and everyone loves him, everything that he does is completely cool and amazing.

I try to move back, I don't know why I'm on the stage, but when I try to move back I realize something. He's holding my hand, our fingers are entwined and the beating of my heart rushes for that.

"Hey Auradon!" Jay says to the mic but he looks at me, then he just raises an eyebrow, "watch and deal with this".

Time stops in the second after his words.

I close my eyes and tilt my head to the right.

At first he just let the mic fall, it made a sound when it hit the floor, the hand that was holding it makes a super coordinated motion with the other one to go up and take my jacket, he just pulls me closer to him, no space between us, his soft lips against mine and our bodies completely closer, making me feel warmer for both his heath and the blushing. Our feelings exposed.

I get on my tiptoes and let that sigh imprisoned in my soul to finally come out, I surround his head with my arms and he places his hands on my waist, he sighs in that very moment.

I'm happier than the day I ate chocolate for the first time, happier than the day I got over my fears of dogs, happier than the day we had our first kiss, happier than the day we confessed our feelings. I can't be more freaking happier, what I most wanted is finally happening.

"Carlos de Vil, do you wanna be my…?".

"Yeah, yeah I do…".

And I just kiss him again, letting my eyes closed and doing small pressures against his lips, this time not battling for dominance, not making from something heated or uncomfortable for us or for the crowd from this, we're just being slow, we're gentle, we're enjoying each other now that everyone knows it.

I can't be happier now, I'm finally complete. He's my other half.

I hear someone clapping in the distance, then the crowd starts to make the same thing and some cheering comes too, but the weird thing is that I start to not hearing them, the world doesn't exist anymore, it's just Jay and me now, our reality; us.

I just can focus in the fact that I'm finally free, I'm able to show how I feel for him. My most wanted wish has finally come true, even when I didn't ask for it to the stars he loves to stare at.

"I heart you" I manage to whisper when I move my head back just a little. I see him grinning and he places his forehead against mine, I close my eyes once again when he caresses my cheekbone and I yield to his touch, loving the way how my face fits perfectly in his hands.

"And I you" he whispers back and that's enough for me because I like when can be himself just with me.

I open my eyes slowly, the ground doesn't hold me anymore to the reality and I feel like if I were waking up from the best dream I've ever had, and before he can kiss me again a throat gets clear next to us, we both look towards the sound and Ben is there, smiling like always, with his right arm behind his back and with a microphone in his left hand.

I move away from Jay, very compelled to do so, Ben stands between us and place his arms on our shoulders, then he makes us to look at the crowd. If the girls were more than delighted to see Jay on the stage now their expressions are the entire opposite. Most of them seem devastated, another part seems sad, a fraction devotes me looks that finely could have been killing in more than one occasion, and a much smaller percentage, I would say five percent of all the girls who used to kiss the ground where he walked, seems happy.

"Ladies and gentlemen, friends and relatives, guests from all the kingdoms comprising Auradon, I hope that until now you've been enjoying a wonderful evening" Ben speaks with a so serious voice that I would never have believed it could come from him, I guess he's starting to put himself in the position of being the king. "Some people came to doubt about my proclamation of bringing people from the Isle to our kingdom, but now, with my new and great friends standing here, I realize that, even when there was also some uncertainty in me, I made a great decision".

Many of the people who remain seated exchange questioning glances between them, also the people on the dance floor. Damn, even Jay and I turn our head a little and we frown a bit since we don't know what in the whole world is Ben talking about.

"People make decisions, those decisions are the ones which guides their lives; that's obvious. But there are few people who act on what they feel, a small amount is the one that allows themselves to act on what dictate their wishes and desires".

Ben moves away his arms and steps back, he places his hands on my shoulders and pushes me next to Jay, side by side. I raise my head a little and Jay dedicates me a smile while he also winks his right eye, I look away by the blushing.

"Carlos and Jay are proof that changing exists, they both allowed themselves to act on what they feel for each other. Ladies and gentlemen, friends, relatives and guests, the change is possible".

With those last words, that one more time confirm me that we are something like an experiment, and the kiss Jay gives me on the cheek, my knees get weakened enough so that I place my arms around his shoulders and clung to him, burying my head in his neck, sensing the scent of his cologne, his breathing strikes my ear and his hands trace small circles on my lower back. The moment, even with the crowd, is… different.

It's like if a part of my life force were shared with him.

It's like if I knew that winter will not be a so cold season.

It's like if I could know what my future holds.

It's like if we were meant to be together.

Is it stupid to think in that way? Probably, but with the way Ben perceives this thing that lives between us, and how I hope that the others perceive it, are telling me that it's not. So much.

"Eh, guys…" Ben says when the sound of the world comes back to my ears, I pull away just enough to not invade the living space of Jay, "it's not needed that you two stay here, you can leave if you wish it".

"But this is for your birthday" says Jay in a turn of the events, but anyway I know that there's still that feeling of jealousy towards Ben.

"Now it's about you, it's your moment, so that I don't feel comfortable having you here under compulsion".

"But…".

"Carlos, I insist, you two can leave. The party will continue, if you want to come back you know where we'll be".

Before we can object something else he pushes us to get down from the stage, right in the moment before Jordan returns with her clipboard and says the name of the following persons, who happens to be Audrey and Lonnie.

Jay takes the lead and we start walking through the crowd, I place my hand on his arm to not feel swallowed up by everyone while he pulls his arm closer to his body, like if by doing that he could avoid me from moving away. People gives him pats on the back and half-smiles, just like they do to me, but the girls, ugh, the girls are still looking at me like if I had taken away the bite in front of them before they could even smell the aroma.

Eh… I mustn't compare Jay with food again.

"Well yeah that you know how to put on a show" Mal growls when we approach to our table.

"Please, Ben prepared a whole song for you in front of the _whole_ school. If what you're looking to is to call us ridiculous then the comment is for you".

Evil prepares to answer to what Jay said but in the end she remains quiet since she knows he's right, so that she just rolls her eyes and shrugs, she mumbles under her breath a couple of insults and the glowing tries to be present.

"Whatever, Carlos and I are leaving" that calls back her attention.

"Leave? Where?" she asks with a low voice but she doesn't look at us, however I notice that she raises her eyebrows more than the necessary.

"Hmmm, I don't know, probably the dorm, right?" he places his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to him, kissing my right temple.

"I-I guess, yeah! The d-dorm" she finally looks at us and winks her right eye towards me, the most disconcerting act that may be in this situation.

"You shouldn't leave so soon, I just got here".

The purr in her voice, that attitude that I can sense even without looking at her; this can't be happening…

The teasing, the ridiculing moments, having to work with her on one of those mediocre projects in that place we used to call as school on the Isle (a project that I ended up doing alone for obvious reasons); all that seems to go on in my head like a series of snapshots.

I lift my head up to confirm an irrefutable fact.

Freddie, with her hands on her hips, wearing a sparkling garnet dress with purple and yellow details, the series of white dots below her bright and deadly eyes, the small but stylish hat that she seems to never be able to split apart, the bewitched accessories in her neck, hair and wrists, along with the wicked smile, has managed to get out from the Isle.

One of the many love affairs from Jay has managed to leave the Isle.

"So then, what else have I missed about my ex besides seeing him kissing a guy on the stage?" she asks with sarcasm in her voice. She's getting amused by the reaction she just caused in me and with whatever that emerged in Jay since he barely moves when he breathes.

This is not okay. This is NOT okay.


	7. I adore you (7-I)

Next chapter! Luckily I'm finally done with this semester so I think I'll be able to write and update more often (I know this update took forever to happen but I wanted the chapter to worth the waiting). Starting from this chapter the angst and all that stuff will begin so throw me some favs, follows or reviews if you like it or if you hate it, I would like to hear a little more from you all. Anyway, enjoy :)

Warning: heated moment between both of them, but maybe not enough to change the T.

* * *

 **I adore you**

It's been five days since Freddie got here and everything with Jay has become awkward and everything that's beyond there.

He's been anxious, he's always looking over in the hallways if she appears, he eats faster than usual, he talks faster, he trembles while he runs or while he holds his stick in the tourney field, even a weigh fell on his foot yesterday when he saw her passing by near the gym! But luckily it wasn't that heavy.

I close the taps of the shower and take a towel to dry myself, I put on a pair of black briefs and my favorite pair of shorts, then I step out the bathroom, still drying my hair and also thinking about this weird situation.

I get the thing, I completely understand him, he's nervous because of his ex-girlfriend coming from the Isle straight to here, to our new beginning, to where we all could be new people. We both have been discovering so many things about ourselves in this couple of weeks, Mal and Evie too, and that's all I ever wanted, and everything became even more amazing when Jay and I became something official in front of the crowd, when we shared that sappy and breathtaking kiss in front of so many people and our feelings were showed up to everyone, or almost everyone.

Now we are… a couple, for real, and in this five days we've been doing things that couples do, or that's what I think. It's kind of hard coming from both of us to act over it with all the glares, whispers and stupid actions from people, but when we can he carries me in his back, we have tickle fights, we laugh a lot about our nonsense, he kisses me on the cheeks when he can, and I kiss his too, although we don't do it in our lips, we wait to come back to the dorm for that. We fight and say mean things just like we normally do, we talk a lot, he plays with my hair when I rest my head on his lap and there are moments when he does the same to take a little nap. And at night, the best moment of the day, we keep spooning in the same bed.

It's basically the entire opposite of what we're used to.

But coming back to Jay, maybe not so many people knew that he likes boys and girls, or that he can be emotional, or that he has a heart.

Now that I think about it, maybe I don't understand him, I just comprehend him. Why is that? Well, if I want to understand him completely then I'll have to become him, be he, and that's never going to happen.

I kind of comprehend how he feels right now, surely I'd be acting like that too if I ever had someone before Jay and if that someone came from the Isle to here. Also, Freddie was the one who broke-up the relationship, and Jay never talked about it, in those days the loot he got for Jafar was bigger than ever, most of the things he got were things that he already had, but Jay just wanted to keep his mind busy.

It happened almost three years ago, and down to this point I'm still not asking about what happened because I don't want to be the nosy… boyfriend.

That word still gives me chills and a rush of excitement at the same time.

I walk passing by the complete mirror next to his drawers (he loves flexing his muscles in front of it when he's shirtless (a thing than he does now more often) and what I love the most, and also he models the clothes that Evie makes both from him and me). But when I give a quick look to the mirror I freeze on my tracks and step back to look carefully.

It's real.

I walk closer and let the towel fall to the floor, then my hands starts moving over my stomach, slowly, feeling. My shocked and terrified expression doesn't change at all, it even becomes bigger with every second that the tips of my fingers touch my whole being.

"N-no… this just can't b-be real… I-I can't be… f-fat…" I whisper, horrified as hell.

My ribcage… I can't see it anymore, the skin remains smooth but this excess of I-don't-know-what don't let it show. My always visible collarbones are now barely noticeable and Jay uses to trace them with the tips of his fingers, now he will not be able to. My chest has a slight line in the middle, a little trace if I compare it with the one between his pecs. My iliac bones doesn't pop out from my waist anymore, this fatness in there doesn't let them to be seen.

Just to make sure this change happened everywhere I undo the button of my shorts and they fall to my ankles, and it got down there too. My thighs has become bigger, now they're full of all this fatness; I remember that my legs were almost as skinny as my arms, now they seem as big as Jay's arms and my arms remain being skinny.

I look up and, staring at it carefully, I notice that my face has suffered it too, my cheekbones are more filled.

I don't… I don't want to keep growing anymore, I want to remain being this small guy. Like that I fit perfectly in his arms when he hugs me, when he kisses me and when he protects me from my recurrent nightmares.

Jay's going to be very disappointed of me, I'm sure of it.

I swallow the lump in my throat and keep thinking it's all because of the abuse of food that I've been having lately. I'm not going to eat more victory pizzas with the team, not so much food at breakfast anymore and neither at dinner, also I'm done eating chocolate and so much candy.

I'm going to eat less and quit tourney, that exercise is what commands to my body to seek for all those nutrients that I'm lacking.

Although… if I quit tourney then Jay will be extremely disappointed, and very, very mad, but if I have to do it to keep being the small and weak guy from whom he fell for then I'm more than willing to do it.

"Carlos, you have to…" the door opens in the act, I barely see him stepping in the dorm and closing it behind him. "Oh well, hello there" I look into his eyes and they have this twinkle in them, but I don't care in the least, "who is this cute and adorable stud that stands on his briefs in my dorm?".

I turn a little in my heels to look at him, he winks his right eye and the tip of his tongue travels painfully slow over his upper lip.

"If that's what you want then let's get comfy, though you know we should be in class. Just let me…".

"This isn't funny, Jay…" I run out of breath and move at the speed of light to take the towel to place it over my shoulders. I'm still not used from him to see me shirtless; hell, I don't even like to walk around like that. "I-I'm gaining weight… I'm getting fat…".

"What?" he asks, his voice tells me that he's at the edge to burst into laughter. "That's complete nonsense, of course you're not" he throws his backpack to the floor and starts walking towards me.

"I am, this wasn't here when we got here" I take the fatness on my waist and that causes me nausea, I release it and pull the towel down to cover another portion of my body.

I'm so disgusting, I wish I hadn't walk shirtless in front of the stupid mirror.

"Carlos, please, you're not".

He places his hand on my shoulders but I look down when he squeezes them, then his arm surrounds me and he kisses my cheek, about one inch away from my lips, and that makes me smile a little, a sad smile.

I let the sigh trapped on my chest out, but still I look down, remembering that, in the two occasions that I hit the showers after tourney practice, Chad and his obnoxious friends cornered me and told me that I was too small, clumsy and weak to be part of the team, that I should quit to not be a hindrance on their technique and game plays.

Now it doesn't seem a very bad idea, even if he gets mad or not.

Jay places his fingers under my chin to lift my head up, but he doesn't do it for me to stare at him, instead he tries to make me look at the mirror while his free hand gets in the fist that holds the towel over my chest.

"No" I say when I get that he wants to remove it. His hand insists and I try to move away just a little, "Jay, no".

"I want to show you something".

"If it is about me then I don't want to see it".

"Just shut up and let me do it".

We both look up at the same time, I stare straight at his fierce brown eyes for a moment, clenching my jaw and huffing, but he just leans a little and kisses my nose, the dirty trick he does from time to time to pull my guard down, and this time is not an exception because it works, the towel falls from my shoulders and hopelessly to the floor.

By a reflex I cross my arms over my chest, he stands behind me and places his arms over mine, he achieves to remove my limbs and with a hand he makes me to stare a little to my reflection, I look at my whole being for a second and I just can't stand it, it's too much to see my change and also all of those scars that mom had left over me in the latest ten years.

Jay has been the only one who asked me all the stories about how I got most of them, from the ones that I can remember, and also he was there when I got a few others in those times when we were running from the people on the Isle who tried to catch us after one of our pranks. But this time…

This time…

Geez, I'm so gross…

"What do you see?" he asks, his warm and tender voice caresses my neck and it gives me goosebumps.

I look up mostly because he forces me to, and also because having my head down for such a long time makes my neck hurt.

What I see is a small and now chubby guy staring at me, I see pale skin spread with freckles all over his weak chest and shoulders, a guy who breaths quickly for staring so much at his reflection and also for the other person that stands behind him, the other guy that smiles and now is focused on scanning me.

Was that all that he wanted to get? Stare at me? He could just ask for it, though I wouldn't do it just like that.

"I just see a guy that's changing, and he doesn't like those changes because he thinks that maybe his friends and his… person wouldn't like how he looks like now, and also I see…".

"I see perfection".

His hands places on my waist and they slide slowly until his entwined fingers rest over my stomach, his nose gets buried in my nape and he takes a deep breath, his warm breath hits the back of my neck. I close my eyes and my hands places over his, but they just stay there, motionless, both because I know he will not move them away and because I needed this, some part inside me needed this moment, and him.

I need him.

But… perfection is what he said, I don't understand how or why in the world he can find me as someone perfect, and specially me.

I mean, sure I may have the face of a little and innocent boy, but also I have scars in my back that I can't see but I'm sure they're still there and they will always remain being there, a few others are hidden by my gloves and the long sleeves on my clothes, all of them because of those moments when mom forgot that I was also a human being, but luckily those green and black bruises that I thought will never be erased are just plain memories. Also I don't have an attractive personality, I consider myself a very boring person who likes to read and spend time with his pet and friends, and his boyfriend, so that I don't see where the perfection comes from.

"Don't say that. I'm not perfect, no one is" my chest aches, just like in that time in which he didn't believed me when I told him that I was only interested in him at Ben's party. I'm not completely sure what does it means, but whatever it is I don't like it.

"You are the most perfect person in the world for me, said both because you are my best friend and my person, as you said it" he whispers and finishes that with a light kiss, then he sighs. "But fine, then what I see is a healthy and growing guy".

Guy, person, buddy, man, dude, best friend, Carlos, all the words he uses to refer to me, in these five days I've never heard the b-word, but it's not like if I really expected from him to say it aloud.

Don't wish the word.

He's kind of yours but not that much.

I will not get crestfallen because of it.

Though…

Ugh, who am I kidding, I want him to say it at least to me, at least in these moment in which I need him. But it's kind of so hypocrite from to me expect that if I'm not brave enough to also say it aloud.

Hell yeah I suck as a villain.

I stay quiet for another moment, looking in all directions except to the front, but that doesn't last long because his head gets placed over my right shoulder, his arms squeezes a little more his hug around me and that's when I turn my head, making his lips to crash against mine.

I raise my right arm up until my hand achieves to cradle his cheek, he lets out a long sigh and a small grunt while I completely turn so he can place his hands on my waist and my arms encircle his neck.

Every moment our lips move in perfect sync and I keep my eyes closed is like a surprise, I never know if he's blushing, if his eyebrows are raise in that expression of surprise that he occasionally does, if he looks at me when he kisses me, or if at some point he will depart.

For now all I know is that his hands makes a little more strength in my waist and in a second he lifts me up, his arm firmly holds my lower back while my legs surrounds his body for me not to feel that at some point I will fall down, he moves back a couple of steps until he sits on his mattress, I slightly open my eyes a little and see that, with a skill that he has developed over the years, he uses his free arm to move back until his head rests on his pillows and my whole body lies astride his.

I pull away at that moment and open my eyes completely, I stretch my back while we're trying to catch our breath, at the same time I enjoy from the first surprise that is to see his wide smile and the slight red tone on his cheeks.

"You're not gaining weight" he begins to say, he takes my hands and entwines our fingers, a smile grows on my face slowly until I look down, or rather to his chest, feeling slightly embarrassed. "You're the smart one, you know we had hard times on the Isle".

I remember it, very well if I think it carefully. The cold in the winter seasons due to not having enough shelter, the lack of schooling, the houses built by their own hands from the inhabitants of the Isle and that were only a breath away to fall apart, but the most highlighted thing was the hunger, the sporadic famine when there were any provisions coming from Auradon.

Those days were usually darker than they usually are in my existence. I clearly remember mom yelling against all persons that were governing Auradon over injustice, the whole lacking to satisfy her needs, and having to lug a small ballast with freckles all over his face that was limited to cry and ask for something to eat every fifteen minutes because his tiny stomach was begging for whatever it was to not feel that at some point he was going to fall. Even when dad was alive and all kinds of scarcity was as great I remember that he gave me the half of his servings of food, he kept me near him so I wouldn't feel any cold and he tried to teach me how little he knew, intellectually speaking.

I owe him too much, and I never had a chance to thank him.

On the other hand, Jay always had a very great advantage over me at those times. Since Jafar is the owner of his own shop he could do bartering of all kinds so that he never misses any single thing, and that's why Jay always had what he needed to stay strong and fit, he almost never had to ask for anything, except when he had to get back the valuable things that his father exchanged. It's strange that he was devoted himself to steal and sell things over and over again, but that's how things usually works on the Isle, and regularly in life if I stop to really think about it.

"You remember it, right?" he says, pulling me out from my reverie. I look up and share the smile he outlines.

"Yeah, I remember it well. Too well" it's like that because mom used to get a little more violent with me in those circumstances.

"I'm not sure of what I'm saying but I know that maybe you do" I frown a little. "Your body is benefiting from all the vitamins, minerals and all the stuff food has to keep you healthy, this is how you should look like, not with that excessive thinness that you used to have".

I chuckle because I understand clearly what he means, and those are things that ruminate in my head too many times in the day, but everything summarizes in that we needed this change in our lives. I decide to return from this a fun situation and remove his beanie, I place it on my hair and I look forward from him to complain because he don't tend to take it off unless he goes to take a shower, to tourney practice, or when the day's events requires formal clothing.

"Looks good?" I ask while I entwine back our fingers.

"If fits you, you should wear it more often… for me" I wink my right eye and that seems to surprise him since he pants slightly. "I like you for who you are, Carlos, not really for how you look" he snaps, splitting our hands to place one in my nape and approach me to him enough for his breathing to get crossed with mine, "but I must admit that the change suits you very… very well…".

I can't respond or react appropriately since our lips meet again, if at any time I came to don't believe in his words the way in which he kisses me makes that hesitation to disappear. He does it slowly, caressing my cheekbones while I keep dropping small sighs against his face, the tip of his tongue goes through my lower lip and immediately I grant him access, beginning with a struggle for dominance that neither of us plans to give.

That produces that something inside me take the decision to start moving my hips on his lap, slowly and with slightly clumsy movements, making Jay to take a deep breath and that his lips move away from mine to begin going down, kissing my jaw and causing me to hold on to his hair tightly while my nose gets drunk with the scent of his body.

"What would you say… if we ditch class today and instead… we get to know each other a little more… deeper?" my heart stops a little with every kiss in my neck, the most sensitive spot in my body that he had discovered up to now, and with every word he whispers with his husky voice against my skin.

My heart stops completely when the whole proposition sinks down in that part inside my brain that tends to guide all my actions, kind of the rational part in there. But, in the other hand, I'm aroused, _very_ aroused, so let's just say one thing: screw it.

"Know me deeper" I take his hands and place them in my waist, then I lean to rest my forehead against his and stare at his pretty brown eyes.

When we both close our eyelids slowly and his fingers grasp gently my iliac bones, along with the first pressure of his lips against mine, I know there's no turning back to this.

And it's not like if I really wanted to stop. Not anymore.

He moves his hands off my waist and they both travel up to my shoulders, from there he slides his fingers down the length of my back on a downward path, he stops in my lower back and uses his indexes to trace slow and pronounced circles. He does it slowly, like if it was a well-deserved massage after a very long day, making me to feel chills and even safer from that small but important decision that I have just take.

I feel the movement of his legs while I listen that his boots fall down from the bed, his fingers trace lines up and down all over my back and occasionally I make much longer and slow circles with my hips, making that each sigh coming out from him to produce a sudden heat inside my body.

I move my lips away from his and start going down his jaw, kissing and giving small bites on my way, Jay lets out another deep growl while he mumbles a few things that doesn't have much consistency, he moves his hips up into a deep movement, my hands turn into fists over his chest while I get to the collar of his shirt.

"This clutters…" I growl against his skin, and I can't help but let out a groan that combines my daily laziness along with the pleasure of the moment.

His breath hits my head and his hips move more against mine while he lifts up just enough so then I can take the hems of his shirt and get rid of it in the next millisecond. He goes back to lay down, he smiles and breathes in an agitated way, but I don't lean over to kiss him again, I just stay a little stiff on his lap while I watch him, while I finally make that my moralistic part remain quiet and stop telling me that this is fast.

"Touch me" he whispers and I stop contemplating his torso to look into his eyes, to that blush and to those dilated pupils that are spanning the full extent of his irises. "Carlos, please, touch me…".

I don't know if it is because of the fact that he's asking me to do it with the little breath that remains in him, the sweet tone with which he does it, or because it's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but with every second that passes I realize that the change now makes me to take appropriate decisions, hasty to some degree but ultimately appropriate.

My hands gets relaxed a little and I make them to go up to his cheeks only to return going down over his long neck, my fingertips feel his quickened pulse, and when I finally reach down to his collarbones, to the muscles of his chest, I stay even more breathless.

I stop moving my hips and his arms remain inert at his sides, I swallow the lump in my throat that makes me breathe in an agitated way and I work up the courage enough to fulfill his request.

My hands completely hold his pecs, he takes a jump and he makes a little strength to keep them somewhat hard, the pulse I feel in the right hand tells me that Jay could be on the verge of a stroke, his eyes closed and his hasty breathing do nothing that make me think that I actually have a very strong power over him, and maybe I have it, but it doesn't seem as something that I may have available.

"Hands… very soft…" he mutters through his teeth before biting his lower lip with more force than the necessary.

I use my hands to move down to his arms, touching from his shoulders to his wrists, going back on the same path for my thumbs to caress the line between that was splitting my hands and from there I start to descend again, using nothing more but the tips of my fingers, to trace each groove separating his strong abs and the 'v' in his pelvis, with the right thumb I mimic the circumference of his belly button and touch the hair on his happy trial until I reach down against his pants and almost against my waist. My body is expressing freely, I'm no longer ashamed from him to see me in that way, one way or another all this is caused because of him, and I can feel that he's trapped between my body and his.

Complete unfairness.

Before I can get rid of the button he moves my hand away and sits up like a spring, his soft lips begin a path that goes from my shoulder all the way to my collarbone, my neck, my jaw, until he reaches my lips, taking down his cheeks and kissing me, plunging us into a kiss that leaves me static for a few moments, the seconds it takes him to push me and fall on the mattress so that he can then be placed over me.

"Your turn… my cute boyfriend…" he growls against my lips before moving away, desperately kissing every corner of my face, making me laugh like an idiot until he breathes against my right ear and he begins to descend.

Contrary to me, the rookie in this, he doesn't use his hands while he descends, instead he uses his soft lips, his clever tongue and his perfect teeth to kiss, suck, bite, whisper and lick on my collarbones, the small muscles that can barely stand out from my chest, my stomach and my sides, my skinny arms and my hands get some of it too.

Every kiss causes a tingling in my stomach and all over my body that comes down to my feet, I have to contract my toes to not take a huge leap that could hit him.

Every time when his tongue touches my skin makes me to pant for a little more air and sanity since I can't believe I'm doing this with the most attractive guy from the entire school, this and who knows to what limits we can reach now, in broad daylight and with a hubbub of people in the hallway. I appreciate that Dude has spent the night with Mal and Evie.

Every bite tells me that Jay can be aggressive at the same time he can be careful, at any moment this becomes into something painful or uncomfortable; it's like if he were reading my thoughts or if he knew that at the slightest aggression hint I could run away.

Every whisper manages to make me feel attractive for him and to whoever; he whispers how soft my skin is, how much he had wanted to know how far my freckles extended (and his wish to know where else they can be found), how much he enjoys being doing this with me, that he hearts me, and especially he repeats nearer a million times how perfect I am.

And each suck, damn, each suck makes me sink my face in my hands since the squeals coming out of my throat and the heat that strikes my cheeks is so much that, later or tomorrow morning, he still will remember me the reactions I had and I'll never hear the end of it.

I'm sure there will be marks in a couple of hours, or right now, but that's what interests me the less now, all I want is Jay.

I lose track of what's happening and it looks like a series of snapshots from the point where he's kissing my stomach, his tongue enters nervously in my belly button, he kissing a path that goes down a little more, but it all comes back when his teeth takes the elastic band of my briefs, that's when I get up and with a force that I didn't know I had I achieve to take his shoulders and make him spin so that I again can be straddled him. He seems to be surprised enough since he remains with an expression of complete astonishment, which I devote myself to remove by kissing his lips slowly while at the same time I do it deeply.

"I heart you, Carlos. I heart you, so much…" he murmurs with every move he does from left to right, his hands placed on my waist.

"I adore you, Jay".

He blushes excessively and he sits up until his eyes look at me directly, my forehead rests against his, my hands take his shoulders and then they start going down over his back, feeling the line of every muscle, the strength he has, and the sigh that accompanies the look that I hold to his eyes.

The tip of his nose touches mine and we both laugh a little, his hands are no longer in my waist and he begins to caress my thighs, he starts with the outside and his hands find the courage to move to the inside, lighting on each one of my nerve endings; every touch that he makes forces me to hold on to his back while my shortened breath doesn't stop at all.

"I've never been with someone" he assures while I look into his eyes, his hands stop and mine return up to his shoulders. I frown a bit at that and that makes him to cock a smile at the same time he sighs, but it doesn't seem the usual smile, the playful and cocky smile, it rather seems as something that could be called as repentance, or yearning; I don't know, "well, I've never been with a guy in a way like this".

I hadn't ventured to ask if he had already done this sort of things, and his speech tells me that he had but not completely. I don't care about the list of people who have been with him doing this same thing, doing more things, or less, the only thing I care about is that he's here with me.

"I want to be the first" I snap with a confidence in myself that I didn't know I possess.

"Oh, you're gonna be it, that's more than sure, although it should be me who asks you for the honor of being your first" I rub the tip of his nose with mine and the shadow of a kiss places on my lips.

"I grant you to be the first".

With that permission he comes to kiss me, leaning forward so much that it almost seems that he's going to pin me against the wall over his bed, and something tells me that I could end up pinned against the wall in one way or another. That thought makes my hands to get placed again on his back and they descend without some kind of subterfuge or sense of decency to his butt, where I give a squeeze when I feel they fit perfectly into my hands, and I also make him to bite my lower lip with a little more force than the necessary and he pulls it, making me to moan at that moment. It's unfair that he has his pants on, I can feel that they suffocate him a bit more per second; he should get rid of them _now_.

The sound coming out from my throat seems to goad him since he does the same, his hands goes down to the unexplored part of my lower back and his fingers delve beneath the legs of my briefs, squeezing firmly and clasping my body even closer to his.

The heat of the dorm is sudden, all I can think of now is that I want his hands touching all the corners of my body, his lips kissing my back and all that lies below there, the crashing of his skin pearled with sweat against mine, the sound of our grunts, but above all I know that this is a decision and a moment that perhaps we both will remember forever.

"I adore you, Carlos, my little boyfriend".

"I adore you, Jay, my sexy boyfriend".

"And I adore all the stories in this book, my pair of nerds".

We both turn our heads towards the third voice, the evil voice that comes from my bed, that's when we leave unfinished the kiss that we were about to start, our knot of limbs gets undone, our hands are no longer in 'inappropriate' places and we split away so fast that we ended up at different ends of his bed, me in the head and he almost falling.

Freddie is sitting with her legs in a lotus flower position in the middle of my bed, she has my favorite book, _Tales from the XVI century in the ancient kingdoms_ , in the right hand while she has the left one behind her back, she sweeps through a few pages and dedicates herself to look closely at some of the drawings that illustrate the stories, she mumbles a few things and her expression of surprise seems genuine, but damn, why now, why here. Why she.

I look to the left and Jay observes her, something like if he were contemplating her, and that twinge of jealousy coves directly into my chest. I must comprehend that there was a story between them, and she ended up with that story; perhaps Jay misses her and that's all, or she wants to get him back. Over my dead body.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask with a tone not friendly in the least while I try to glare at her. Freddie closes the book and looks at me, she shrugs her shoulders to make me notice that she doesn't believe in my attempt to intimidate her.

"Well, I was supremely bored in my dorm, Mal and Evie are in something like a double date so I just decided to come here".

"And how exactly did you get in?".

"You'll see, there is something called latches on the doors, and it seems that Pants on Fire present here preferred to simply nibble on your neck instead of making sure to close the door" she points at him and rolls her bright eyes, her characteristic gesture.

Jay shrinks in his place and laughs nervously, like if he were a small child being displayed for doing something wrong. I look back at Freddie and I can tell that she enjoys foiling this moment, the grim smile and that aura of satisfaction that appears to come out from her body tells me so.

"I'm joking, my dear friends" I let out the air that until now I notice that I was compressing on my lungs, "I used a little magic to appear here, also I brought you this".

Her hand raises and there's nothing in it, but when I see a small brown head rising to look over her leg and the cheerful wagging of a tail my good mood comes back a little.

The black shirt with red details that I was going to wear strikes me against my face, I wear it before Freddie can keep looking at me (if she was looking at me) and I give a few pats by my side, Dude takes no more than two seconds to jump next to me and he lies on his back for me to scratch his belly.

"You missed me, isn't it?" Dude barks and gets up to sit on my lap, I scratch in the middle of his ears and he wimps like if he hadn't seen me in a whole week, or in a lifetime.

"Carlos, you know I don't like when he's on my bed".

"He's not on your sheets, he's on my legs" «like you were a while ago before she decided to appear», I internalize.

"Whatever, I don't want him here".

"Whatever".

I get up and collapse reluctantly on my mattress, I dedicate myself to spoil Dude a little (to mitigate this horrible feeling) while Freddie gets up and starts walking around the dorm, opening the drawers that she can find, looking out the windows and taking everything that's available for her to read, starting with labels, back covers, photographs, just everything that's not attached to the floor.

They're so alike…

When she takes Jay's trophy I hear him denying with his throat.

"That's private" he says, using the usual growl in his voice. Story.

"Where did you steal it?" she asks while she reads the inscription on the base.

"I got it" Jay answers, sounding proud.

"Yeah, I can read it here, most valuable player. I guess in this place is expected from me to congratulate you or something, but the truth is I will not do it".

Freddie leaves the trophy in its place and comes back to sit beside me, she caresses Dude's body and he seems to enjoy it because, although he's a dog that uses to tolerate everyone, he tends to growl at the contact of strangers, or at least he does when Mal tries to approach to him.

"Why they let you have it?" she asks while she smiles, but not in the friendly way, it rather is the smile that's always present since she will respond with something hurtful or meaningless. I know her, but not as much as Jay knows her. "I mean, you used to pee your pants when you listened a bark".

One of the first pranks she played on me was in the first year at school, when I was still the smallest boy for my age, she approached me barking and snarling, making that everyone in that classroom laughed at me and me to pee my pants. That day mom gave me a slap for being weak and not facing the problem with my head held high. «Thanks for reminding me so, freaking thanks», I internalize again.

"He became one of my best friends when we got here, he helped me to overcome my fear".

"Yeah, but I don't know, at least I'm sure that I would fear for his welfare if the son of an animal torturer had it in his possession".

I look into her eyes and she winks the left one, she gets up and walks with agile steps, like if she were a gazelle, a lethal gazelle that only decided to use her magic to get here, ruin the best time I was having with Jay and say one of the dumbest things that she can came up with.

"I'm not her" I say, feeling that something inside me shudders, "I'm not like mom".

"And I hadn't expected to inherit the great magic from dad, but things change and things that you didn't expect that they could be inherit too, so…" she snaps her fingers and causes that throughout the whole dorm an eerie blue fire gets lighted on, the shadows projected on the walls resembles to ghosts with sharp claws and teeth, which are laughing and moving all around.

Dude trembles and tries to hide beneath me, I cling to him since if this is the time when Freddie gets rid of me then I have no way to fight back, I'm a person without some kind of magical power after all, without physical strength, only mental strength, and that hasn't helped many people according to the book.

With another snap the flames disappear and there are no traces of the fire, like if it really hadn't happened and it was all about a hallucination.

"Do it again, do it again!" Jay says, wearing again the brown sleeveless shirt he was wearing at the beginning and watching, amused, the scope of the magic from Freddie.

"Later perhaps, at some point when Carlos, your… boyfriend" she makes an expression of disgust for pronouncing that word, "doesn't want to kill me".

"You h-heard that?" Jay laughs and scratches his nape, obviously nervous since he wasn't expecting someone else to hear him saying that.

"Yeah, and it was disturbing to see you both about to do something that would scandalize a couple of goodie goodies, but you're lucky I didn't have something to record yourself saying those words, I would have sold at a very nice price those goods" she winks her left eye once again and Jay gasps, he smiles in the same way that I'm sure I do when I'm with him. Freddie takes the doorknob and opens it a little, then she turns on her heels. "Oh, I almost forgot. Fairy Godmother wants to see you, Carlos, she says it's something important, something about your mother, so get on something decent and go to see her".

I look at Jay at the right time he looks at me, he has an expression of doubt and at the same time of something else, like condescension, like if he were looking at someone hurt and he didn't know what to do, and he's not the kind of person who helps someone in a desperate situation.

But perhaps, with everything that just happened, he notices that I'd need his support.

"Anyway, I have to see that Ally girl in the library, she wants to interview me or something like that" she settles her small hat and smiles once more, "see ya!" with another snap of her fingers she disappears.

* * *

Since the notice from Freddie I've been visiting Fairy Godmother's office only to have her receptionist, Jane, telling me that she's very busy and that I come back later to see if she can see me. The sun is about to be hidden on the horizon and still there's no response.

I would have given up in the first attempts to know what she wants, but this whole thing is about mom, one way or another everything she does has a direct impact on me, initially for her reputation of being a torturer of animals (and from people according to my nightmare) then also I am one, now who knows what this is all about.

"Relax, everything will be fine" it's the millionth time that Jay tells me that, but the kiss on my cheek still makes me feel good.

The discomfort of the moment with Freddie is completely gone, just like it does the desire to be alone with Jay, I just can't think of anything else that's not mom now.

"I hope so" we go down the hallway and I stand in front of the single desk that's in front of the door of the headmistress's office, Jane looks up and she doesn't seem at all surprised to see me.

"Carlos, Jay" she says, nodding to greet us, for the millionth time.

"Hey, Jane" I say, smiling a little, noticing that the color of her cheeks becomes a bit more noticeable. I thought it was a joke when they said that Jane liked me, now I see it's true, and I feel slightly sorry for her. "I know that I've been coming too many times in the day, but do you think your mother…".

"Actually you arrive at the right moment, she puts aside all her outstanding to see you" Jane stands up and knocks on the door, she receives the order to step in and lets us in to Jay and me.

Fairy Godmother is sitting behind a huge desk, the wood with which it's made seems as old as the yellow pages from the books in the library, or as some of the castles in the adjacent kingdoms. She has a host of documents stacked over the desk and in the sides, her office has a strong aroma of coffee, the computer she has at one side makes a sound like if it had been turned on since the first light of day, and when she finally looks up I can notice that she has dark circles around her eyes and that her hair isn't combed with due care and attention.

"Carlos, I'm sorry to keep you waiting so long but…" she doesn't finishes speaking since she notices Jay standing behind me, he hasn't ceased to hold my hand from the moment I finished dressing and the first time I came to get all the information. "Oh, Jay, my heart gets filled with joy to see you supporting Carlos, but… would you mind waiting outside? It's a personal matter".

And apparently it's a serious one.

"Oh, sure, no problem, anyway I have a pair of issues to attend".

I frown and turn around, Jay takes my cheeks and makes me to lower my head a little to give me a kiss on the forehead, he gives me a small smile and kisses me on the nose.

"I'll see you later" he caresses my cheekbones and leaves, when the door closes behind him I let out a long sigh, ignoring the fact that I'm in the office of Fairy Godmother.

I hope not to become an emotionally dependent person of another.

"Ah, young love, nothing fills me more with joy to see two people being happy next to each other" I shrug my shoulders and turn on my heels, I see her holding both of her hands over her chest and outlining a friendly smile. "I must confess to you that it was a surprise to all of us to see you share that kiss in that celebration of Ben, but it's not the first time that two boys fall in love, and it will not be the last one".

She gets up from her desk and makes a motion with her hand for me to follow her. I do so and we go out to the balcony of the window behind her, the breeze blowing doesn't compare to the sight, it's simply splendid: the forest extends to the distance, some torches are lit up to guide people in their night walks, the ocean shines because of the full moon and for the broad set of stars in the clear sky with orange and yellow tones that now begins to get darker, the guards walk around from one side to the other to make sure that everything is in order, all the shops and houses in the citadel remain in calm while they prepare for their nightly routines.

And the Isle is there, surrounded by the yellowish barrier, with the dead forest, the dark houses, the poor lighting in the streets, the different types of people; a lifestyle completely different than the one I can say that I'm getting used to for being here. I let out another sigh at the thought that at some point I had a mission to accomplish that this side of the kingdom was ruled by the people in that small mound of dirt.

"It's an impressive sight, don't you think?" she says, like if it was the first time she sees what's outside the balcony.

"Yeah, it's an incredible view" her hand places over my shoulder and it's one of the few occasions when I don't shrug my shoulders to avoid contact from another person.

I stay quiet while I notice that a car gets closer in the path in which we arrived, it parks in front of the building and the lights go out, the driver steps out from the inside and he devotes a look to up here. Fairy Godmother extends her free hand, something like a silent order, and I can't prevent the blanket of fear to loom over me a bit.

I haven't done anything wrong, I don't deserve to be sent back to the Isle. I have good grades, I'm on the team tourney though I'm not good at it, I've been behaving in a good way; I don't deserve to be sent back to the Isle.

"Oh, Carlos, sweetie, no one has said anything about sending you back".

"D-did I spoke out l-loud?" I ask, crossing my arms even more, something I hadn't noticed I did so far.

"Yes, but you have nothing to worry about, I have no reason to send back to the Isle, and… well, considering your background, even if I had a reason then I wouldn't. You're a boy who doesn't deserve that lifestyle, neither does Mal, Evie or Jay" she hesitates a bit and her hand gives a little pat on my shoulder. "I can't imagine how it must be the relationship that you and Jay have in there".

"No such relationships exist there, showing feelings on the Isle is forbidden and punishable" I say automatically, I stop crossing my arms but I can't stop feeling that I could be sent back.

"I imagine so, and I can only limit myself to imagine it".

A quick shudder comes over me, I shake my head to try to channel it and push it aside.

"Your mother…".

"Is she okay?" I ask without thinking, fearing the worst.

"Oh yes, she's fine, Jafar and the Evil Queen too".

"Jay will like to hear something about his father" I say, feeling warmth back to think about him.

"I know that he will, but at this time is about Cruella" she moves her hand from my shoulder and that makes me look at her, she keeps her eyes on the horizon and her face tries to remain rigid although her jaw trembles, like if she feared something. "She wants to see you, tonight".

My chest gets compressed at the thought of her eyes looking at me with disapproval, in the high-pitched voice that she always has to say anything to me, or rather to ordain me, the pungent aroma of her perfumes, her expression to know that she will have her son/servant close even for a moment. Before I can even think about hyperventilate her soft hands take my cheeks and she makes me look into her eyes.

"I know it may be hard for you, so that's why I wanted this to be something private" she looks at me so suddenly that I bite my tongue to not jump or scream. "There are three options you can take, of course I will not be some kind of judge, I'll accept your decision and it will be kept as a secret".

I nod and before she can keep going she moves away a lock of hair that stands over my forehead, a gesture that I've only seen she does with Jane. I guess that's what maternal love is, something I can never experience.

"The first option is that we can approach to the Isle and a car will take her to the bridge and there you can chat, the second option is a video chat like the one you had on Family Day, and the third option is that you don't want to do such a thing and you don't want to see her. It's your choice, honey".

She stops holding my cheeks and turns around, she returns to her desk and focuses on reading the papers on her desk. I appreciate the moment she gives me to think.

The video chat on Family Day was a complete mess, but now I wouldn't have to go and see her with Dude in my arms, neither there will be Mal, Evie or Jay close enough to witness one of those moments where she loses the reason, if she ever had it.

However, I'd really like to know what could motivate her to want to see me. I mean, it's been a couple of days from that day and the Evil Queen is the only one who wanted to return to chat with Evie, without much success, and Maleficent lives in a small habitat in the girls room.

Only Jay and I haven't been able to chat with our parents since then, but Jay doesn't seem to take much importance on it since he has things that keep him busy, also I guess he stopped stealing both because we choose good and because it reminds him that it's something his father asked him to do.

I huff and decide to delete the second and third option. It's about mom, maybe a little and short visit will not do me any harm, after all I can't deny that, even with all the neglect on caring and maternal attitudes, I miss her a little.

"What happens…?" I ask, making her to pull her papers down and get closer to me, she puts her hand on my shoulder again. "What happens if she becomes violent?".

"I'll be there, there will be guards nearby, and I'll have my wand if it is necessary to use it".

"Then I want to see her, in person".


	8. Hug me and protect me (7-II)

Here I am with chapter 8! Yeah well, rather than chapter 8 this is something like chapter 7-part II since I left the last one with a cliffhanger, and I hate cliffhangers with my life, but as I said I wanted to give you a chapter to don't have you waiting so long. In addition, this chapter will feature Jay's POV, so I hope you like it, if you do leave some fav, follow or review. As usual, enjoy :)

* * *

 **Hug me and protect me**

 **Jay's POV**

"I'll see you later" I caress his freckled cheekbones with my thumbs, loving the way in which his cheeks turn into a slight shade of pink, and I turn around without saying another thing.

When I step out Fairy Godmother's office I let the door to close behind me, I smile like what people may call as a moron in love and let out a very long sigh, ignoring the fact that there are plenty of people out here, passing by with books in their hands or chatting with some other people.

I look quickly to my left and catch Jane staring at me, she giggles nervously and goes back to continue typing on the keyboard in front of her, but for what I can see she's not writing at all, she's just pretending. I thought she only liked Carlos, but it seems that she likes me too. Let's take an advantage on it.

I walk with confident steps towards her computer, while I do it a few girls walk by giving me some winks and the movements of their bodies become a little more provocative. In another times, in another times, like Maleficent would say, in another times where I didn't had the most adorable, smart, soft, small and cute boyfriend in this whole place.

I mean, Carlos is the very first guy with who I act like this, with who I'm being romantic, or whatever; the other guys that were with me were just something like hook ups but without the whole physical stuff, just like many relationships in the Isle tend to be.

When I finally stand behind her computer I see she tries her best to not look up, I can see it in all the strength that she applies in her thin neck, but to spoil her attempt I place my elbow over the screen, flexing my left arm and leaning my face over my knuckles. At that she finally looks up and blushes, not more than she does when she sees Carlos around but still it's there, and when I smile she shrugs. Got it.

"Hey there" I grunt while winking my right eye, she shrugs a little more in her place and the tip of her tongue appears between her lips; she doesn't stop looking at me for a single second.

"H-hey, Jay" she swallows hard, I guess she's trying to hide the trembling in her voice. "C-can I help you in something?".

"Oh well, I just wanted to say hi before leaving, but now that you mention it I think maybe you do" I move both of my arms to place my hands on her desk, she doesn't hesitate for a second to look from my wrists all the way up through my arms, and when she reaches my face she slightly sighs for finding me smiling at her. "Carlos and I are about to meet two months together and I wanted to get him a present, something like a box of chocolates or a thing for Dude" I shake off the idea of that little beast to keep going with my act, "and you guys don't sell any of those things here, so I was thinking that maybe I can get a pass or something to go to the town tonight and get it before he comes back to our dorm".

Her face changes from happiness to some kind of sadness for the part about Carlos and me, of course it would, but then her expression turns in one that mixes surprise and touch when she hears my plan, and it's something like real at the point that I want to give him something very special, not stupid chocolates or a trinket for that brown beast that he cares about so much.

"Have you actually been together for two whole months?" she looks down and clicks on her computer, then it goes off.

"Yeah… uh, yeah, we are" something moves inside my chest, something new, like extreme joy or whatever that fills me completely, I think it's for realizing that we've been actually two months together, and a couple of days more, but anyhow I can assure that those have been the greatest months in my whole life, and I have a very interesting life now that I think about it.

"Uh, well, I would love to help you but mom is the one who give those passes, and she does only for special occasions, so I don't think that she… I don't… I…".

"Isn't it hot in here?" I grunt again, taking off my beanie and opening just the first two buttons of my shirt; her speech stops being coherent when she sees the line between my pecs, and luckily those little bites that Carlos gave me can be seen a little downer.

Geez, thinking about that moment in the dorm gives me chills, the good ones. All that bare skin, moans, soft kisses, slow kisses, rough kisses, soft hands, silly and kind-of-stupid love words, expressions of our bodies from things that we both wanted to get in that very moment, all of that spoiled for Freddie and the uses of her magic.

Freddie… man, I would like to know what's really going on in her head after watching that. I'll ask her later, in the mean time I move my hair behind my ears and she seems a little shocked to see the piercing in my left ear.

"H-has that always being in your ear?" she points at it and I move my head to let her touch it. I don't tend to use it but it's a good thing I did today since, with the trembling of her hand, I know that pass is completely mine.

"Yeah, I got it on the Isle, you like it?" I move back and stare deeply at her blue eyes, causing her to shrug even more if that's possible.

"I-I think so, i-it makes you look more as a b-bad guy".

"Don't forget I was a bad guy" I say, smiling even broadly, and just because I said it doesn't mean that it is entirely true. Evilness is still running in my blood, I can feel it, and it will take a couple of years to be completely gone, or maybe spending more time with my favorite not-at-all villain will help.

Carlos… Carlos… Carlos… ugh, now I miss him, and we've been only apart for like ten minutes or so. I'm sure this longing for his company is here because even back on the Isle we used to hang out as best friends a lot, now as boyfriends it has awesome rewards, it doesn't come because I'm kind of horny as hell.

We stare a couple of seconds at each other, she seems to be in the middle of an inner fight if she could give me the pass without telling her mother or if she's going to tell her one way or another.

In the end she's the one to break our eye contact and she opens a drawer, from it she takes out a box with many stamps and she picks one, in the upper part it has a signature, and I'm sure it's from her mom to easy all the paperwork that a fairy that leads a school in a kingdom filled with good people may have. Or maybe she's just lazy to sign all the papers and she gives the work to Jane to stamp it.

"Do you promise to only use it for what you told me?" she asks while she puts it in a black inkpad, the moment when she looks at me tells me that she's serious with this. Keep going with the act.

"Yeah, of course, I'll give you the evidence if you want to".

"Not needed, just use it cleverly… I don't want to be in trouble with mom…" and with those last words the stamp with Fairy Godmother's signature appears in the little square of green paper.

She hands me the square and I take it, and before she can pull her hand down I hold it to give it a small kiss in the back, I look up and smile at the same time, her blush becomes more noticeable, it even reaches to her neck.

"You'll not be in trouble, I promise" I growl a little more while she pulls her hand away in a swift motion. "Thank you, really. I'm sure Carlos will be happy to hear that you helped me".

"Tell him that I helped you, okay?" something shines in her eyes, like hope or something, and I smile very slightly for that. «Oh Jane, he's all mine, so whatever with what you want».

"I will. Thanks again" I lift the paper and wink my right eye, when she looks down I just turn on my heels to keep going with my 'issues'.

Now I only like being alone to do this kind of things, all I do for him, but the thing that stands it's that even when we're with the team or hanging out with the others I hate being touched, I only let Carlos to do it because, I don't know, his hands now seem very familiar not only because he touched me like no one had done it before, but because when I hold his I can feel that he loves it.

Carlos has been changing me for good if I think about it. I mean, my liking to steal has been decreasing highly, I only do it to take some food or very shining things, besides that I don't do it to not see that face he does when he notices it; I've been improving a little my grades since I want him to see that I can be a little smart too, not like the smarty pants, or rather shorts, he is, but at least a little; I try to be friendly with everybody (except with Chad and his obnoxious gang even when we're all together in the tourney team); and of course I remain being strong and fit because, even when he may not admit it aloud, I catch him every now and then blushing every time he see me shirtless.

The only thing that hasn't been completely gone, or decreased, is my tendency to talk to girls, to touch their cheeks or their hands, basically to flirt with them, and that makes him completely sad. Luckily just a few guys are attractive enough to get my attention, and I just wink my eyes or smile to them to get a little excited, but in the end everybody know that I'm with him, now everybody knows.

Secretly I was tired to be hiding this amazing thing from the public eye, I just wanted to give him a tight hug and a breathtaking kiss in the middle of the tourney field after we won, but I know how shy he is and how stupid people can be towards him to get him nervous and scared.

All this time I wanted to protect him, just the way our whole relationship has been since we were kids on the Isle, and I'm still surprised that he was the one to give the big step and kissed me in the stage.

He sang to me, goddammit! No one had ever done such a thing for me, he gave me one the sweetest things in the world with his amazing singing, and with that little but yet awesome dancing skill that he has too. I can't believe that we both sang those cheesy songs, but it was worth it, everything since that kiss on the Isle was worth it.

Hold on, did I just say 'the sweetest things in the world'? Damn, this place is completely getting over me.

I keep the pass in my back pocket and walk without an exact route, just hoping to find Ally around, and… maybe Freddie, yeah, she could help, I think so.

"Hey, you're Jay, right?" asks a random girl, literally a complete stranger, while I step out on the courtyard and I just nod at her question, "I knew it, because many people told me how you looked like, so it was kinda easy to find you. Anyway, I was wondering if wanna go later for a coffee?" she talks really fast, so much that I even feel that I run out of breath.

She wears a deep blue skirt that reaches down to her knees and a pink shirt with a very low neckline, black boots, lots of bracelets and necklaces, her long, red hair is tied up in a ponytail, her skin is white and she wears no makeup in her whole face. She's very pretty, I have to give her that, and the freckles on her cheeks remind me once again my purpose for the pass and all that stuff, my baby boy Carlos. Baby boy… geez Auradon, just get out of me.

Coming back to this pretty girl it's obvious that she has something to do with Anna of Arendelle, even when her smile is warm something like a cold breeze surrounds her, and I think she may have the powers of her aunt, or whatever. I would love to have some magic, at least just a bit, that way I would be even more popular than I already am, or maybe I would just use it to destroy the barrier, whatever that comes first.

"Oh, you know, I'm not much of a coffee guy, tourney and lack of sleep, just all that stuff, but maybe a milkshake?" I say, not stopping to really talk to her, because as sooner as I get my issues done then sooner I'll be sleeping with Carlos in my arms. "Uh, do you have sisters, or a boyfriend?".

"Y-yeah, I have a sister".

"Great! Then it would be like a double hang out, you and your sister and me and my boy, does that seem good to you?" her smile stiffens a bit and she releases a little sigh. There, she just wanted a little of me, and I think not many people were in that celebration for Ben, or the gossip about me and Carlos hasn't spread so fast.

"Your boy… uh, well, yeah… I'll text you the details, okay?" she starts walking again, inside the main building of the school, with that stiff smile on her face.

"Seems good to me, see ya".

Something tells me that I will not hear anything from this girl again, and it's not a thing that worries me really since I prefer to drink a cup of coffee while the smell mixes with the one that comes from the cup of hot chocolate that Carlos usually drinks before bedtime.

Yeah, I like coffee, specially black coffee with just a sugar cube, another thing that I learned to like because of Carlos and his ways of payment.

Just in the moment when I move my head to the front I see Ally sitting in the shadow of a tree, she's speaking to some of the butterflies that are flying around and a little white rabbit bounces around her feet. This place is filled with so many and weird people, but at the eyes of some people I am a weird person for dating a guy, so screw it with that thought.

Ally seems to feel my gaze since she looks at me in the next second, I start walking towards her but she just picks her stuff up and starts walking quickly, the butterflies and the rabbit follows her and I do too.

"Ally, hey Ally, wait" I say, stretching my hand to grab her shoulder, when I get her attention she turns on her little high heels and glares at me with a big frown. What the hell did I do to her this time?

"Are you trying to flirt with me again? Because if you are then I'll tell Carlos about it" I move my hand away from her, she crosses her arms and now she's just throwing daggers at me with her eyes.

"No, I'm not, and I'm sorry for that, it's the way I act with pretty… uh, I mean, with girls" some cold sweat runs behind my neck. «Focus man, you are doing all this for Carlos».

"Then what is it that you want?" she huffs and rolls her eyes but in the end she relaxes her shoulders. I don't really like the way in which she speaks, it's funny and I want to laugh in her face for it, but then again I can't, not now that she hates me from the very start.

"Have you seen Freddie? I need to talk to her and she told me that you two were going to hang out or something" she kneels to pick the rabbit up and she gives it a carrot that she had inside the pockets of her baby blue dress. I like the colors of her clothes. "Is that rabbit yours?".

"No, he just follows me around all the time, like some birds, butterflies and some other animals, even a walrus tried to follow me home once. I think it has something to do with my mom, but I can't really talk to them like Carlos does with animals".

"He just can talk to Dude, and dogs in general, not with all the animals" that little beast clouds my head again.

It's not that I really hate him in the least, I try to hide the fact that I care about him too because he has grown in me since the first day he was in our dorm, but what I can't stand at all is that Ben helped Carlos to get over his fear, he and the dog, not me. Also there's the fact that Ben touches him, talks to him and stares at him very much, and yeah I'm jealous about it but I don't care, Carlos is my boy, my person as he says, because he's scared to really say the word boyfriend, or he was before Freddie appeared to interrupt us.

I want to kiss, lick and bite his sensitive skin one more time, I want to feel back his heartbeat against my lips, hear his quick breathing, my name between clenched teeth, his hands on my hair and feel how he takes my clothes off. Then again I will not push him to do something as important as that, I'll let him start with it again.

"Still he has a very amazing skill" she says with a sigh, like if she really wanted to have that skill too, "And about Freddie, we were in the library, I wanted to know a little more about my former partner in the singing competition, but then she got hungry, I guess maybe she's in the cafeteria or in her dorm".

"Okay, I'll look at those places, thanks" I give her a tiny smile and she gives me one back, but then she frowns.

"Before you leave, is it true that you and she used to date?".

Damn that Freddie doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut, prove of that was the direct way in which she said those things to Carlos, and I couldn't stand for him because I know she will tell him… that, so I preferred to keep my mouth shut even when she deserved some not decent words at all.

"S-she told you that or you heard it from Mal?" she has some information, Evie doesn't since I'm sure it would burn her mouth to spill it out to Carlos, and since Mal and I have been friends before Evie and Carlos came to our lives I'm sure she knows how to be a grave, a very silent grave, so by elimination Freddie was the one who told her.

"Freddie told me, she didn't give me so many information though, she said that's a private thing between you two".

"Then I'll take her words, it's none of your business and it's private, but I'll say yeah, we used to get activity back there, on the Isle we don't date" I scratch the back of my neck, somehow nervous from this.

She broke up with me, and I take that I gave her a good reason, and still she can torture me with that memory.

"Can I know why?" she asks just like that, her piercing blue eyes glows with something, like if being nosy was a good thing and common in her personality.

"I don't wanna be rude but I'll say again it's none of your business, so stop it, please".

"Okay, sorry for asking and being that kind of obtrusive, it's a thing that I do pretty often. Anyway, see you later" she smiles a little more.

"It's okay, just don't ask again. See you around" we smile at each other again.

We walk in different directions after that, she turns on her heels and whispers to the rabbit and the butterflies, totally not looking like a complete lunatic, and I go back to the main building and towards the girl's dorms.

Maybe I shouldn't be here, people can see me and they may set up that I'm looking for a girl since, after Ben's party, it's not very usual from me to walk alone, Carlos is always by my side hitting my arms, playing with my hair, talking to me about all the interesting things he reads in that old book of his, how was his day, the exploring he takes with Dude when they go for a walk, or he just struggles with me to find out who is faster and can reach to Mal and Evie's dorm first (and I win all the time).

While I look in the little signs outside the doors for her name I remember those days when we used to get activity, when she was at my place or I was in hers, when we discussed if her father was better than mine, and mine was better both for stealing and his magic, when we made out a lot and when I introduced her to Mal Evie and Carlos.

Mal and Evie got along with her, but Carlos, oh man, Carlos wanted to kill her in that very moment with that look of complete hate and his frown, all the things he mumbled under his breath and his questions: why her? She's really interesting? Does she like the same things that you like? Did you… do it with her?

My best friend worried about her, trying to hide that jealousy he felt towards her. That make me wonder how long he has had his big crush on me, and now it's not a crush because we're finally together. I wanted to answer all of his questions, and the most important thing I wanted to do was telling him that we didn't get to be physical, because of him.

It seems that it was only yesterday when she and me were fighting because, in her words, I talked all the time about Carlos, every little thing we did I talked about it, how he looked with his new clothes, how black the new bruises on his body were, the red color in his cheeks for the slaps, all that, and I can't believe that when she told me that maybe I had a thing for him I just said that it wasn't a maybe, that I had a deep feeling for him, not friendship anymore. So that we let relationship in that point, because she wanted me to get it with Carlos, and because she wanted to boast that she dumped me, and when she did lots of girls and a couple of boys tried to get in her place; a few got it but just for a couple of days, and also since that feeling become more real I kept my head busy stealing and not focusing in all the stupid words that I wanted to say to him.

It's just so funny now.

But I come back to the real world when in the last door at the end of a hallway filled with the last rays of sunlight from today, a thing she hates completely, there's a door hidden in the shadows (I'm not entirely sure if this is just a cliché or if she just used her magic to hide it in there) and in the wood I finally find her name, Freddie Facilier.

I knock and knock and knock until I hear her growling, I hear her mumbling a couple of insults until the door opens, and when she looks at me she just places both of her hands on her hips and smiles, rolling her eyes.

"Well, well, well, I don't remember ordering room service".

"Ha-ha, you're very funny, now just get out of my way" she opens the door completely and I step in.

Her dorm is lighten up with a few candles, the windows are all covered with black curtains, and it's filled with all the spooky things that I can remember that she used to have in the store her family owns, kind of the competition to dad, and at her place, and even that mask made out with black wood with shiny red eyes, lots of black feathers around its face, and the sharpened teeth, is here! I thought I'd never see it again, but now here it is along with her, and that was the only thing that I could say I find really scary.

"You seem to be very fond for your dark decoration" I take a couple of cursed trinkets and books, that kind of books with drawings about demons and ghosts, potions and spells, the books that Mal can understand too and can use to practice all she's capable of.

"What can I say, this stuff makes me feel more at home" she crosses her arms and leans in the free wall next to me. I look at her for a moment and another thing behind her gets my attention.

"No way! How did you got this back?" I take a necklace with a huge red stone in it, a shiny stone. "I stole this from a cave and then from your store, I'm sure it was at my dad's store".

"Let me tell you that you're not the only thief on the Isle".

"But I'm the sexiest of them all" I say, matter-of-factly and grinning.

"I'll just say yes because I don't want to feed that monster your ego is" I smirk at that and then she huffs. "But hey, I know you're not here because you wanted to see my dorm, or getting me back with you, so spill it out".

I raise an eyebrow and look at her, she has that smile of satisfaction with which I'm familiar because it's the one she used to outline on the Isle, when she talked to her friends that she dumped me. Maybe, in the next century, she could be the next ruler of that place, not Mal or anyone of us.

"Pretty smart girl, besides gorgeous, just how I remember you" she winks her right eye and I roll mine, "I need a potion, or a spell, whatever you can give me to be invisible for a few hours, I need it".

"Do you still want to get superpowers or something? If you are then I don't want to waste my magic in those stupid wishes".

"Trust me, if I wanted to get those I would ask Jordan, not you" she seems a little offended for the way in which she opens her eyes, and that's true if she didn't hate me just like Ally does, or maybe she does it because my dad is Jafar. "I need them to sneak in the museum and try to steal Fairy Godmother's wand again".

She doesn't say anything else, she just looks in the back of a few books on a shelf until she takes one. I was going to tell her she had these little orange pearls that she told me were used to disappear, but then I remember that all this must be just replicas since no magic can get in or out the barrier.

"I heard around you four tried to steal it once and you failed because of you, is that true?" she asks without looking at me, she's more focused in her reading.

"Yeah, it kinda was my fault, but just because Mal thought I couldn't get it".

And sure because I wanted to set a point, that I'm awesome.

"Fine, I don't care but fine".

Freddie snaps her fingers and tons of candles lit up with blue fire, she starts saying so many words in a very weird language until the ghosts and the creepy shadows appears in the flames, and they all look at me like if they wanted to get my blood, or my flesh, my soul, anything that I could have for them to get. She's going to tell them that I'm a friend, right?

I have to admit that her magic is cool, pretty cool actually, but I'm kind of more used to that from Mal, the movements of her hand and those spells with stupid rhymes in them, and because I can understand what she says, not like now with Freddie.

Before I can move or say something I feel a jab in my right hand, when I look down I see a shadow smiling at me and holding my hand, then it disappears and I see a few drops of my blood falling to the carpet.

I suck my index finger to stop the bleeding and see Freddie floating in the air just enough so her feet are not touching the floor, then all the shadows spin around her and they're gone in the next second. She descends back slowly and stumbles, I rush forward to catch her before she can fall straight on her back.

"Those spirits are going to kill me someday, though I'm new talking to them" she looks at me and lifts a leather bracelet with some red liquid inside a white gem attached to it. "Here's what you wanted".

She gets up and I wear the bracelet in my left arm, it shines when I secure it to my wrist and I feel a shiver over my body.

"It will last as long as it has your blood in it, so I recommend you to move your ass and hurry to do whatever you're gonna do with it" she eats a piece of bread she has next to us. She told me once that she always needs to have something to eat after she uses her magic to get her energies back. "Tell me shortly, why do you want the wand again? You want to set your parents free?" I frown and look at her; that was supposed to be a secret mission. "What? Things can be heard in the Isle".

"Sure. No, I don't want them out of there, though I miss dad a lot" I sigh and shrug my shoulders a little. "I read about a spell to bring complete happiness to someone's life, it needed a magical object and a powerful person to cast it, and here I can get the wand and Mal to help me".

"You're a moron, I'm powerful too" she says, sounding jealous since I didn't come to her to do the magic part.

"Yeah, but she kicked her mom's dragon tail, so that I have her in a very good position" she's ready to say something but she knows I'm right.

"And who's the person you want to cast the spell on?" she still seems upset.

"Carlos. He deserves complete happiness."

"Easy to guess" she grins and walks towards me, placing her soft hand on my shoulder and then on my right cheek. "Go and try to make him happy, though altruism doesn't work all the time".

She pinches my cheek and I hit her hand away, I hated so much when she did that in the Isle, now I hate it even more. I walk towards the door and before I take the knob I sigh one more time.

"Thanks, I owe you one. You're the best".

"Yeah, I know, now get the hell out" we both laugh.

When I step out in the hallway I'm very surprised to see that it's completely dark outside, the moon shines in one side of the sky and the sun is still hiding in the other. How long does voodoo magic takes to cast it?

I look at the bracelet and it has consumed a generous part of my blood, with her warning in mind I start walking with fast step towards one of the exits from the guards, I take the bracelet off to show the pass to one of this dudes and he moves aside without even asking a single thing.

I walk twenty steps with casual step, I look over my shoulder and when the guard turns around I wear it again and start sprinting, hiding in the woods to make a shortcut even when I think I'm invisible. Now that Mal, Evie and Carlos are not around I can run faster, dodge branches, jump holes in the ground, all the things I'm used to do when I escape from people trying to catch me after my successful stealing. Also, Evie would be more worried about her makeup, Mal would be pissed for being out at night, and Carlos would be complaining about how tired he is, and I would carry him on my back just likes koalas or opossums do with their babies.

I'll ask later about all the fuss about her mom, now I have to focus because, with an impressive high speed, I reach the outsides of the museum in a record of time. Without thinking I keep moving, passing next to the guards and making fun of a few of them, blowing in their ears or touching their exposed skin to get them chills, good thing that voodoo magic works and Freddie is awesome.

Lucky for me there's a window open, I jump to it and use my powerful arms to lift myself up, good thing I hit the gym before we went to the office for the millionth time on the day, and Carlos was more than happy looking at me while I lift the weighs and he counted my repetitions.

My boots hit the tiled floor and they make an eco, a guard that was passing by points at me with a flashlight but I manage to hide behind a pillar. The only thing that I noticed from as a disadvantage is that I can make a shadow, so it's better that I remain hidden or away from lights.

The guard turns around to leave, I crouch and walk with hasty steps towards the room where the wand is. I'm about to get it, and this time to do a good thing, to give Carlos happiness, all the happiness that a guy like him deserves. I mean, sure he looks content having Dude, the girls, Auradon, and me, but still I can see that there's something bugging him, an insignificant and yet important thing: he's sad because Cruella doesn't love him.

Sure the spell will not make her to love him, but it will help him to see that there are other things that can pull him out of that sadness, or it will make him think that she loves him, I don't know how that magic works.

When I set a foot in the room of the wand I notice something very important, not lasers surrounding the room, or extreme security, neither the fact that the shiver in my body is gone, that usual shiver I get when I'm going to steal, anything of that, just the fact that the stupid wand is not here, it's freaking gone!

Before I can grunt or destroy something to pieces I hear a car starting on, I look through one of the windows and a limo is out there, Fairy Godmother walks towards it with the wand on her hands. Wasn't she with Carlos like a few minutes ago?

To answer my question the inner light of the car turns on and I see that black and white hair, the usual colors in his clothes, and a smile on his face when the woman gets in and the car goes who knows where.

My robbery, frustrated, the second frustrated thing today. And where the hell are they going?

* * *

 **Carlos's POV**

"This is a bad idea, this is a very, very, very, very bad idea. I don't agree with it and I'll make anything possible for you to not go".

"I know you don't like it but it's something I have to do, there's not much you can do since you're even smaller than me".

"I can bite you".

"And I can too so it's enough of this".

Dude gets down from my bed and walks in circles around the room, he hides under Jay's bed but from the mirror I can see his eyes shining and hear his wimps while I fix my tie and settle my jacket. I know it's kind of stupid to dress nicely for a short visit with mom, but sure she'll see that I still have good taste in clothes, just like she taught me.

I look at myself and smile a little, the clothed Carlos is definitely someone I can stare at all day long. Unfortunately the bites Jay gave me can be seen over the neck of my shirt, just a little, those below there seem as punches or if someone tried to kill me, but they were made in an amazing moment.

"You don't have to go" Dude says again, wimping at every moment.

"Dude, c'mon, she's my mom, and she wants to see me".

"But she wants to make earmuffs out of me! She's… evil…" he moves his head on his paws, clearly uncomfortable, and also scared.

I kneel to pet him between his ears, when he leans to my touch I grab him out of there and we sit on the mattress, he hides his head under my arm and I keep stroking his body until he stops trembling.

"Hey, listen, I'll be okay, she's not going to be near this place and so that you'll be fine. You can stay a while with Mal and Evie if you want to".

"No, I don't want to" he says, complaining like a little child. At some point I thought I was crazy, like mom, for talking to him, but I think it's a good skill I got from her, it's funny and utterly smoothing. "I don't like Mal completely and Evie makes me get dressed and undressed so much that I feel raped".

"Oh, stop with that".

"But it's true!".

"Anyway stop, then you'll be alone for a while, now I have to go".

"Please don't go, Carlos! She's evil, I can see it! Don't go!" I leave him in the floor and walk towards the door, and in a spin of the events he actually bites my boot from behind, trying to stop me.

"If I don't come back in at least two hours call Jay".

"I don't know how to use a phone! I'm a dog".

"Exactly".

Snapping that I just open the door and step out, Dude barks, scratches and cares for my safety another couple of seconds until he gets bored of it, or maybe he found the squishy toy I left for him near his feeder because he goes with all and his excessive reactions for this.

I sigh in relief and walk to leave the main building and towards that statue that still refuses to become in the beast that Beast is even when I clap until my hands hurt. Ally's sitting in a bench made with cement, she greets me with a movement of her hand and a cute smile, I do the same and she goes back to talk with the white rabbit on her lap and a few fireflies, but they are just animals to who she talks to, they don't answer and I don't understand them since I can only talk to Dude, to dogs.

"Are you ready, sweetie?" asks Fairy Godmother, she places her hand on my shoulder and literally appears out of nowhere. I thought she could only use magic with her wand.

"Sure, yeah, I am" I say, smiling at her. I'm about to be a little taller than her, and then who knows how tall I could be.

"You look very nice today, I'm sure your mother will love it".

No, she will not love it, she just loves her coats, her designs, and me doing all the chores she just doesn't want to do.

"But first we have to go to the museum to pick the wand".

"Oh, okay".

The car appears in the driveway and parks in front of us. The same guy that picked us up from the Isle steps out of it and opens the door, I hear him mumbling something when I pass next to him to get it but I don't pay much attention since I go straight to the candies they have here.

I sit next to a window and Fairy Godmother sits next to the door, she smiles at me and takes a fist filled with jelly beans, I focus myself in little raisins covered with chocolate and those bittersweet worms that Jay likes so much. When the car starts moving I feel a little nervous, so that I eat faster.

"So, Carlos, how is your semester going? I heard that you're taking classes for older students, is that true?" she tries to break the ice when I just wanted a quiet ride towards the museum and towards the Isle.

"It's going pretty good, I'm first in a few classes" all of them, "and yeah, I take the advanced classes just because the teachers put me in them. I read a lot in my free time and also I get time to hang out with the girls and Jay…" she smiles more when she hears me talking about him.

I blush like crazy and stare out the window, the trees, the sky filled with stars and the full moon makes the outside to have something like a special, shiny and silver glowing. I'm sure Jay would be staring at this breathtaking outside from the window if he didn't had issues to attend, and he never said a word about them.

Then again, I don't want to be the nosy boyfriend.

"Okay, here we are, I'll be back in a minute" the car goes off and I realize that we're in the main entrance of the museum.

She gets out and I roll a golden wrapper on my fingers, thinking about what I'm going to face in our next stop.

Will she be happy to see me again? I don't think so, she's never happy for the things I do, and my presence will not be a reason for her to be happy.

Will she be surprised? Perhaps because I'm an entire opposite to the guy that left the Isle two months ago, and such a huge change in two months.

Will she be disappointed? Absolutely. Sure, we got the wand and the barrier got destroyed, but still they're trapped on the Isle, she's still trapped with all her sketches and her crazy ideas to skin animals to make some clothes.

The thought gives me chills.

A few pale guards come around, like if the driver or I could do something, to say that they're being attacked for a ghost that's scaring them, touching them, and whispering things in their ears. I would blame Freddie for that but she's on the school, although she can do voodoo magic, and if Mal's magic is amazing then I don't know the reaches Freddie's could take. She managed to impress Jay so…

"Alright, let's go" says the kindest woman I've ever met when she gets back in the car, the driver turns the car on and we retake our way.

This next fraction of the road begins pretty quiet, she only talks to the driver, and to me she gives me smiles. I guess she knows that I don't find this completely soothing since I move in my place over and over again, now the seat doesn't seem comfortable at all, I stop eating and all I do is to look at the window, wishing to be in the school, in my warm dorm, with Dude curled up next to my feet, with a book on my hands, a cup of hot chocolate, or with Jay talking to me, playing videogames with me, or kissing me.

The driver takes a highway that goes in a down way, I feel my heart beating faster and my hands start to sweat, I feel dizzy and like if all the candy I just ate were ready to come out in the next second. It's mom, it's mom, it's mom, there's nothing to be afraid of, she can't become into a dragon, but she can be rude, and mean, and violent.

The now healed bruises, the scratches, the slaps and my few broken fingers, those she broke as accidents, seems to be aching, all at the same time, reminding me that, even when the past is past, that past will always be behind me, remembering me all the things I went through. I cross my arms and rub my hands over my arms, suddenly feeling cold.

"Sweetie, are you alright? You look a little pale" she approaches and places her hand on my forehead, then in my cheeks. "You don't have a fever or something, is everything okay?".

"Yeah, I'm fine, it must come out from all the candy I ate, I feel a little dizzy though".

"Honey, are you sure you want to keep going? We can go back if you want" she looks at me, I try to give her a real smile but she seems to see through my eyes to that point inside me that's doubting about this. "Derek, turn around and…".

"No, please, no, I want to see mom, and she wants to see me too. I'm gonna be okay, really, I just want to get there soon".

"Good thing you mention it because we're already here" Derek, the driver's name I suppose, moves the wheel in a 'u' and then he turns the car off. I swallow the lump in my throat and follow Fairy Godmother after she steps out the limo. It's time.

There's a line of ten guards near to us, ready to come into action if this situation gets out of control, but if mom has a chance to get out of the Isle I don't think she can do something to ruin it, like go completely nuts and try to attack everyone, included me.

In perfect timing I see the other car coming in a straight line from the other side of the bridge, going through the barrier with ease and moving a little faster from there, and it makes me feel a little more anxious. I don't know why the idea of mom stabbing the driver and taking control over the car fills my body, anyway she can drive, but our limo is blocking the way. Then I remember that nothing can stop her once she has something in her head, to prove that we have all the coats and other things she had made out with fur and suffering, all kept neatly in her huge closet.

When the car is about five meters away from us something like a reflex gets on me and I hide behind Fairy Godmother's arm, the same thing I've been going since I was a little kid when Mal was trying to kill me with her bare hands, both figuratively and being serious, and I hid behind Jay's arm, and completely behind him, because he was always ready to get all the anger Mal could have against me, and sometimes he got bruises in his eyes, his nose bleeding and cuts in his lips for being that brave and stand against her, and all I could give him was cubes of sugar (his very favorites at that time) and promises that in the future I would be able to fight against Mal.

Still I can't stand against her. I can't stand against anyone.

The other limo takes a complete turn, facing the Isle and ready to step in the accelerator pedal to drop her on the other side of the barrier. The driver comes out, he seems to be a little tired and frustrated to have the task of pick mom up, and he hurries to open the back door.

"Get your hands off from me, you will regret it if you dare to do it again" I see her hair, clean and with more white stripes, poking out the car. She glares at the driver and looks beyond him to what's around her. Fairy Godmother stands in front of me, hiding me behind her, something I didn't expected. "Ah, Auradon, I've missed you so much, and my baby had missed you too" mom starts surrounding the car and she talks with the stuffed thing in her neck. "Right, baby? Have you missed Auradon? Oh baby, sure you do!" she laughs and when she stands on the other side of the limo she looks at us, surprised at first but then she smiles. "I asked for my son, you old and nasty…".

"H-hey, mom" I say, moving next to Fairy Godmother and taking her arm, she looks at me and I give her a warm smile, she smiles back but it disappears when she stares at mom again.

"Carlos! Come here and give your mother a hug".

Without a second order I rush forward and open my arms, she does the same and when my body crashes against hers I make her to step back a bit. Her arms surround me and her nails get in my hair, she scratches my nape and I just can't stop the smile to appear in my face and the sigh to leave my body while I bury my nose in her huge, fluffy and white coat.

After a few seconds she pulls my hair a little, I move away and stare at her for another minute. She's wearing that black dress she calls as her 'other skin' because it fits perfectly to her body, high heels, lipstick and gloves that slip under the sleeves of the coat, all of the are red, a white bag with three fox tails, blue earrings and a ring in her right hand. She's wearing couture, she's wearing couture for me, that means she considers this a special occasion.

I'm special for her.

"Still wearing your mother's colors" she smiles and pinches my cheek, harder and almost making me to hiss in pain until she moves her hand. Mom's not good with light touch, she's always aggressive even when she doesn't mean to. "You give good taste to your school, right?".

"Yes, mom, Evie helps me with that, also I…".

"You look different, Carlos, you're not my little boy any longer. Your face has changed, you're taller now, you changed your haircut, and you have dark circles in your eyes. I don't think Auradon is doing any good to you" she narrows her eyes.

"No, mom, Auradon is a great place, and I do lots of things in Prep" she caresses my cheek and smiles again, then she looks up at Fairy Godmother.

"Can I take my son to walk around? This is a special occasion for him and I want to spend it only with his company" she says, challenging her.

"As long as Carlos wants it then it'll be fine with me" she answers, serene.

"I want to walk with her, just the two of us" I turn on my heels and she gives me a warm smile of approval.

Mom starts walking in the sidewalk, I follow her a few steps behind but I also hear Fairy Godmother giving the order to three guards to follow us but giving us privacy enough for me to enjoy this time with her. Maybe she can see that mom is behaving like a normal person, and normal is weird word. Let's say she behaves in an average way.

"Mom, you said today is a special occasion, it is because I came to visit you? That's why you're wearing couture?" I ask when we come to a little bench under the light of a pole. She sits in it and I sit next to her, and I try to not pay attention to the fact that she moves a few millimeters away.

I hear the guards hiding in the trees behind me, and I don't care a thing about them, I just want to be special for mom, just a bit.

"Well, not exactly" she says while sighing and staring to the Isle, a mischief smile appears on her face and that hits straight to my ideas. I shouldn't let my imagination to run that wild and free, maybe she's just using me to be free for a short amount of time.

Yeah, that's it, she's using me.

"Then why it's a special occasion?" I ask, trying to control my voice and keep smiling.

"It's your birthday, you silly little piece of… my beloved son" I stare at her and she nibbles at her lower lip, somehow nervous.

I look back and one of the guards gets up, I move my hand down and he does too, rolling his eyes. I guess he's expecting something good to happen, but at least I know they're really protecting me.

"How do you know? You never celebrated or anything for me".

She huffs and opens her bag, from it she takes out a little calendar, one of the few things that we get every year that is updated, and she throws it at me. I open it and it has strikes out in everyday, but today it has a circle and the inscription _**his birthday**_ standing out from the white paper with all that black ink.

"Also, why celebrating?" she says, I get the usual smell of the nicotine and look at her cigarette, relieved to know that it will not be turned off against my skin. She places a knee over the other, she's jigs at it while she talks and keeps smiling. "I mean, I'm sure your classmates make celebrations in your school, and all the people around there, right?" the smoke coming out from her does through her nose, in o's made with her lips, and in clouds.

"Yeah, they do it, and all the time" I laugh a little to try to get rid of this thing that stays in my stomach and makes me sick. I think it's because of the nicotine, it has been two months since the last time I smelled it and maybe I just need to get used to it again, although nicotine is bad for my lungs and I've been smelling it since I can remember.

"And they celebrate for people they love, and I don't love you, so that's why".

I look at her and she keeps smoking, slowly this time, she takes her time to jib at it, retain the smoke, and then set it free.

In the meantime my chest hurts like never before, I feel like if I were being punched in the stomach a million times, my heart hurts too, I run out of breath and the world seem to be spinning out of control. All inside my head is blurry, like if a train just collided against all my ideas about her, against all the ways how I linked her way of treating me to some form of affection.

I look down and notice that my hands are turned into fists over the knees of my trousers. I'm wearing trousers for the first time in years because I thought this was going to be something like quality time between mother and son, not to hear her saying all those awful things.

She doesn't mean it, it must be the craziness inside her speaking. Yeah, that's it, the craziness. She's not serious, she's not serious.

"You're… you're lying…" she looks at me and the smoke hits directly against my face. "You love me, I'm sure you do".

"No, I don't, I'm one hundred percent sure I don't love you, not a little bit" if something inside of me wanted to stay strong it died when she said that straight to my eyes and with a smile on her face, adorned with red lipstick.

She turns the stub off near to my trousers, I can almost see them getting on fire for that. Or maybe what's getting on fire is my inside and that's why I feel like if at any point I would pass out.

"When I knew I was pregnant about you I just wanted to rip you out of me as soon as possible, but your father got in my way and he stopped me, so we just waited, and waited, and waited, all the waiting for nine months until you came out with help of Maleficent, a tiny, grey thing with freckles on his face and crying all the damn day long".

Dad getting in her speech makes me shiver a little more, both because of the anger and the sadness, the first one because how she said it tells me she killed him, she doesn't undeterred at all, and the second one because what she said tells me he loved me even when I was just a bunch of cells developing to become a human being.

"Besides you should be happy, now you can finally satisfy all your ghastly desires with that grotesque son that Jafar has…".

"What are…?" even with my best effort to try to get that idea out from her head it will be in vain, everything is now in vain. But the truth had to come out at some point; let it be now.

"Oh, please, I can see those bite marks on your neck even from the Isle, also seeing your nauseating face blushing when you saw him walking by was the last straw, it made me feel sick and willing to teach you a good lesson".

I leer at her, watching that little smile that strains the corners of her lips, and then I look down at my boots, surrounding my knees with my arms until I can't think in anything else than simply drop a sigh and move my legs from side to side. She's not serious.

«Carlos, that's enough, it's been fourteen years… fifteen years, in which she has been able to demonstrate you a small portion of the affection she has for you, and in all that time she hasn't, so stop trying to live by clinging to such an idea, man up and move on».

I'm not quite sure if what's talking is my conscience or that small portion of hereditary madness, whatever it is I prefer it to remain quiet if it's going to say all those things, even when they're right.

"Is that why you decided to kill him? To dad?" I ask, looking forward, thinking that any part that could remain from him on the Isle now it's all dust and ashes, and nothing. "You killed him because he wanted to have a son?".

I stop hearing the sound of her lighter while she tries to light up another cigarette, all the crickets seems to have been silenced at the same time. What I actually can hear is the sound of smacking joints, a deep snort, and finally the swooshing of something moving at such a high speed that it can cut the cold air of the shore.

I barely have the opportunity to turn my head slightly to the left before her outstretched palm strikes directly against my cheek, so fast and so hard it makes me get driven forward out. Luckily I manage to stretch my hands to somehow ease the fall, but that doesn't stop the feeling that something in my jaw just got fractured, or that my brain probably hit against all my skull. I can't know because that part doesn't feel pain.

"How dare you, damn ingrate?!" I look at her and see that her eyes might turn into red by all the anger she's storing now, the fists at her sides and the way in which she bends her back tells me that she's ready for the next attack, to make me regret the fact that I have said such things, and even regret the fact that of getting born. "How you dare to say that?!".

"It's true!" I snap out, standing up and feeling the world is tilting a little. She struck her hit very well, she could've knocked the lights out of me if she had hit my chin. "At first I didn't want to believe it, I wanted to believe it was an accident, but by the way you talk about him confirms it" I clench my jaw and keep my eye contact on her lunatic eyes. "You killed dad!".

Before the next hit could come against my face a hand takes hers, in the next second she has both arms behind her back and a guard stands behind her, the other two get placed beside me. Mom tries to escape from the grip of the guard while we walk back to the limos, I duck my head and try to think of anything else than the slight twinges in my face, Fairy Godmother comes up to me and before she can cradle my cheeks I take her hands and slowly pushed them away, totally forcing the smile I sketch.

"I wanna go, now" my voice breaks but I refuse to show me as someone weak, as someone who has just received a brutal blow, not in his face, in his head, in the part that makes me feel my chest compressed, the tingling in my back and the incessant wish to let crying out.

"Of course yes, sweetie" she speaks in a low, warm tone, she looks over my shoulder to mom, who doesn't stop snorting and saying endless insults against me and the guards. "Take her back up to a place where you feel safe, your welfare is what matters most now".

"But before…" I gather a bit of courage and head towards her, it helps the fact that the guard hasn't diminished the force with which he holds her.

I dedicate another look to mom, she's still snorting like a rabid animal she nibbles her lower lip hard, she's trying to suppress all the things she wants to tell me and waiting for a time when we're alone again. Nothing like that will happen again in a million years. Another hasty but good decision.

I stretch out my right hand and take the thing in her neck, it squeaks when I press its head and I take away from her neck slowly, in such an agony I'm sure she will remember for many days, and that's the plan. She tries kicking me, or get through me with her heels, until I step back a few paces away from her, I give a glance to the only object against which I thought I was fighting for the affection of mom, I press so hard its head that the little whistle and eyes get detached out, falling to the ground in a symphony that is almost as perfect as the student choir in Auradon, or the melodies that Jay can sing.

"You took away something I loved, I'll play the same game" I'm not surprised by the fact that, with help, I can finally stop the abuse from mom towards me, I'm surprised that taking someone's precious object makes me smile and feel relief coursing through my body.

"Go with another thing in that messed up head you have: I killed him" she smiles, I look deeply into her eyes and I pinch her cheek just like she did to me.

"Good riddance… Cruella".

* * *

When I open the dorm's door, almost kicking and throwing it down, realizing that the twenty-five minute ride that it took us to get back from the Isle was so, so short, I hear Dude running towards me, he jumps to get my attention but I just ignore him and walk in a straight line. However I hear him while he approaches to the bathroom, his nails are a bit large now, and I see him sitting in the frame of the door thanks to the mirror.

"Are you okay?" he asks, tilting his head to the right.

"Y-yeah, yeah, I'll be there in a minute".

"You cried, there's evidence in your face, so you're not okay. Why do you lie to me?" he can't but I'm sure he'll be rolling his eyes in this very moment.

"Just… just… give me a minute, okay? I'm…" before I can continue the dorm's door opens again and he rushes to see who's there.

"Jay's here! Hey, Jay, hey! Carlos is sad and he doesn't say anything to me, I'm sure he will talk to you" he says with a high pitched voice but up to this point he should know that Jay doesn't understand him in the least.

I ignore that he's back for a minute to silently soak a towel with water and run it over my eyes and cheeks to erase the traces of the tears. Even though Fairy Godmother was rubbing my back and whispering that everything would be okay I couldn't avoid myself from broking into tears, I'm still trembling and wanting to shout to all the winds that I don't believe in what mom said a while ago, she's my mom after all, I'm sure that she may have a little pinch of love for me somewhere in her tiny and rotten heart.

"Carlos left you here alone? That's a first".

"No! He's in the bathroom, come with me and…".

"You know, I don't care, remember that I don't like you" he says with a serious voice, making my chest to hurt a little more for hearing him talking so seriously. I'm sure his issues didn't come out like he planned them, but he has no right to take it out over my pet. Our pet.

"I already know you don't like me but still I jump to your bed and rub my face over your pillows, but Carlos is…".

"Oh please, don't look at me like that, you already know that I don't like you, and you wanna know why?".

Dude stays quiet and I do too, this is moment to find out why he hates him so much now that he thinks that I'm not around.

Wait, Dude does what with his pillows? Maybe he deserves it.

"You'll see, little beast, I don't like you not because you're a dog or something, I always wanted one but surely in the next morning you would have being kidnapped for Cruella. Anyway, I hate that Ben used you to approach to Carlos, and also I hate that he loves you more than to me".

I was going to get out of here when he called him little beast, but lucky thing I didn't because surely that last part would be remaining like a complete mystery. That's not true in the least, I don't love Dude more than I do to him, I'm more interested in Dude because he's something new, like when little kids get a new toy and they play with the new one until they miss the older one, he's a new living being in my life, that's why I like to pet and spend time with him, and Jay has been there all the time. This is completely new.

"You didn't see that coming, huh little beast? There you have it, I'm jealous that he loves you more than to me even when he doesn't admit it aloud, he looks out for you more, he treats you nicely and he's…".

"Listening to you" I say, stepping out the bathroom with the towel over my shoulders. He opens his eyes like never before and remains speechless, I give him a little smile and something now doesn't make me to run and hug him, to sink my head in his neck and feel his arms around me to remind me that all I need to be happy is him.

"C-Carlos… man, I was…".

"Yeah, that's okay. No need to explain" I sit at the edge of my bed, taking the towel off and undoing the laces of my shoes, feeling somehow free since I'm very used to my boots. "And how was your day? Did you got your issues done?" I ask, my voice sounding monotone.

If I wanted to play it cool then I'm screwing it like a champion.

"Y-yeah, some of them are done, a few others not as I planned them".

"Good. I mean, for the ones that are done".

I take my socks off and stare at my bare feet, but rather than that I'm staring to that point in the nowhere that it's my favorite since it helps me to sink down all the stupid things that happen in my daily life before bedtime, and damn that I need some hot chocolate right now. Or stare at his eyes, whichever that comes first.

"And how was yours? I mean, I can see you're wearing fancy trousers, so I think it was a little better than mine".

Trust me, it wasn't.

Dude stands next to my feet, the way in which he tilts his head seems like if he were frowning or something, and I appreciate that he's not talking now, I'm not in the mood for talking. Actually, I'm not in the mood for anything, I just want to sleep for a whole week or as long as it need for this new information that I got to be erased from my memory.

Then again it was kind of a traumatic event, ergo it will never go away.

I have the nightmares to prove it. I have my whole existence to prove it.

"It was good" lie, "mom just wanted to catch it up with me" double lie, "she said that she misses me, and surely she does just because she wants me to make all the chores" I laugh a little but it doesn't feel as something coming from my heart, the only thing that represents the gripping in my heart is my shaky sigh.

Three lies in a row, you're out, pass the bat to someone who can handle it.

I hear his loud steps until his boots appear in my peripheral vision, he sits so close to me that our pants are touching, he pushes me with his shoulder and I move a little, getting a bit of what's going on; I laugh. Then he just places two fingers on my right cheek and makes me to turn my head, doing that I receive the most innocent kiss that he had ever gave me since it's just quick and sudden but oh so tender, so warm, so protective; so everything that I needed to heal.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks when we move apart, our foreheads resting against each other and our eye contact never breaking. "I can tell you're not".

"I'm fine, really, just really tired and wanting to sleep".

"Okay" he looks at my eyes again and smiles a little. "I missed you, all day long I was thinking about you".

"I missed you too, a lot" I admit, blushing too.

Without another word he gets up and disappears into the bathroom, I continue with my routine since he will be there in his nightly shower for a while, and it's good since I saw a few traces of dirt and sweat in his face.

I get into something lighter, a pair of grey cotton pants, white t-shirt and no socks, throwing my used clothes into the pile that I have to wash this weekend, with my clothes and his, and I slip between my sheets, looking to the wall that has the window and not caring if he's going to sleep with me, all I want is stay in bed all day tomorrow.

«Easy, Carlos, easy, just take a deep breath and shake it off. It could have been worse, you could've ended up with a bleeding nose, a bruise in your eye, or with your jaw actually fractured. Also you got some kind of revenge, she doesn't have more whistles to sew another 'baby', that was a very smart move», I try to get all the good events of the evening; not working.

Why this has to happen to me? What have I ever done to someone to get this kind of life? Why me? If mom really didn't wanted me then she could just throw me to the streets and live on my own, there are lots of children abandoned in that way, and they seemed as pretty cool people back then. But, for sure, I wouldn't be here, in a comfy bed, a pet, an amazing boyfriend and lots of friends.

Anyway, I want another life.

"Okay, Carlos, what's really going on with you?" he asks out of nowhere, I feel cold in my back until his body presses completely against mine, my back meets with his chest and his heavy breathing hits my head. "Your feet are cold, by the way".

"Nothing, I'm okay" I answer, dryly. "And I'm sorry about my feet, it will not happen again".

"No, he's not okay!" Dude says again with his high pitched voice, if I could see him nearer I would definitely be glaring at him for saying that.

"Oh c'mon, I'm sure you're not, we know each other like the palms of our hands since we literally grew up together, but I also know that your mom stresses you out" he moves his head up to kiss me a million times in my cheek until I laugh, this time for real. "You can talk with me, I'm here for that. Tell me what's wrong".

Jay starts tracing lines over my arms and up to my elbows, going up and down slowly, soothing me and making me to sigh every ten seconds, achieving that I both take my anger aside but also the sadness and my need to cry comes back, this time stronger than before, and I can't help but let the tears to roll down my cheeks. It will help me to sleep though.

"I w-went back to t-the Isle" I sniff and he rests his head behind mine again, not stopping with the movements of his fingers in my arms.

"You were back?" his voice sounds tired, almost gone. I never thought issues could get him that tired.

"Well, n-not exactly back, in front of the barrier… and I t-talked with mom".

My throat gets dry and his free arm slides underneath me, he finds my hand under the pillow and entwines our fingers, his thumb traces circles in my palm and he achieves to calm me down just a little bit.

"We were talking like average people, we were having a good time since she wanted to see me until her madness talked, she said she never loved me, she said she never did and also… also…" I can't breathe, I just can't, all the air around us seems heavier and I want to let all my feelings out in private, maybe in the woods, or in a car, anywhere else but alone. "She… she killed dad, she admitted it…".

His hand stops, the warm traces in my arm stops and so does time, everything seems to have stopped at once, like if saying it were enough to bring one of the many bad times that I had on the Isle back.

I shrug until he kisses the middle point in the back of my neck, I move his arms a little until I can roll and lay on my other side, looking into his eyes that were looking down at me who knows how long. His hand lifts up and with his thumb he wipes away the tear rolling down my cheek, he outlines a little smile and that makes time to run at its usual pace. His hair is not wet at all, but all the dirt and dry sweat is no longer there.

"I… don't know what to say, really, because I heard that people here say sorry when a person dies, and I don't get the point of being sorry about it if it wasn't something they did".

"Yeah, we're not used to it, just… hug me and protect me, okay?".

"Gladly…" he yawns and keeps his eyes closed.

And he does, he surrounds me with his protective and exposed arms (since he hates sleeves he always sleeps with a tank top, and I don't look down to see if he has pants on or he's just laying here with me in his underwear). His heavy breathing hits my face and I smile for that, I look at how calmed he seems when he sleeps, I move a little closer and he raises his eyebrows a little, smiling too.

"Jay" I whisper, staring at every angle in his face that the moonlight in the dorm can illuminate, "it's my birthday. Today" he raises an eyebrow this time but still he doesn't open his eyes.

"How do you know?" he grunts and moves a little closer, his nose pressing against mine completely.

"Mom told before… before she said all the other awful things".

He lifts his hand towards my face, his fingers are weakly tracing circles on my cheek and a little smile appears on his lips when our breaths become one in a kiss, a tender kiss that erases all the bitterness of this horrible evening and it gets replaced by the caring and love that Jay gives me all the time, all those things doesn't seem to matter as long as I have him. And there it is, the dependant part of me comes to the stage.

"Happy birthday, Carlos… boyfriend…" he yawns, smiles and cuddles more in the pillows, breathing in a heavier way. I'm almost sure that he may not remember it even when he kissed me first. "Happy birthday… baby boy…".

I stare at his soft lips when he says the last wish, because I love watching them when he talks, along with his voice, and in the moment those two words come out they do in very slow motion, I stare at every curve they make, every inner and outer movement each letter takes to do, and his voice, that husky voice that gives me chills. I wish I could control the time to repeat this moment, and many others, over and over again.

"B-baby boy…?" I ask, still in shock.

The little snore tells me that he's out from this world today, and if he's sleeping then I have no reasons to still being awake.

I move my head a little downer and place my forehead against his strong chest, his breathing is like a lullaby that goes along with the rhythm of the slow beating of his heart, it gives me all I need to fall sleep, also the fact that I'm Jay's baby boy.


	9. I'm in love with a monster

Alright, alright, I'd enjoyed so much of the reviews, favs and follows what I've got so far, they encourage me to keep going with the story and I thank you so much for that. Sadly, this is a twist that I want to give since the ending I have planned (I still don't know how many chapter it will take to get there) requires it, so that I hope you to don't hate me, at least not too much.

In addition, this chapter will also feature both POV's, and it will be long too.

Without anything else to say from now you know that I wait for your opinion, fav, follow or review, and sorry for the long waiting, enjoy… or don't ._.

* * *

 **I'm in love with a monster**

 **Carlos´ POV**

I give a little startle and regain my consciousness, however I let my eyes closed while I bury my nose in the pillows, still feeling that sorrow now that I know what it really meant the treatment of mom. She doesn't love me, she never did, maybe she hates me, or she loathes me, but whatever it is there's no way there can grow a little affection towards me in her.

There's no way.

I bury my nose a little more, missing Jay's body heat since he got up I'm not very sure how long ago, but the scent of his body is somewhat steeped in the pillowcases. My shoulders ache, which means I've been rolling around on the mattress for too long, and perhaps I already slept too much, but it's like if I hadn't had the courage enough to do something else.

Maybe it's just some kind of mild symptoms of depression for which I'm going through, or maybe I'm just overreacting in all this, or perhaps it's an exacerbation of the symptoms from the infernal flu that I've dragged for a whole week which makes me feel like this.

I turn my head and push away the thick blanket from my nose, I feel itchy because of the dust that comes from the fabric and get into my nostrils, but at the same time I haven't sneezed since last night and the constipation it's threatening me to die suffocated while I sleep. I can't imagine a more unpleasant sensation at being sick.

The blanket goes to its position, a little closer to my nose this time.

I frown and move it away again; reoccurs the same, it returns to my nose, and now it constricts more over me, like if it was a protective mask to ensure that the virus will stay longer inside me, avoiding a massive spread of this small but powerful infectious agent.

I shouldn't read so much about contagious diseases, the complicated language adheres to me, as it often happens with other things that I read and they stay in my memory.

I barely manage to move away a few millimeters the blanket when it returns to get secure over my nose, and this time I hear a little growl, of frustration, while I turn on my left side.

"Enough" I say, smiling however, while I rub my cheek against the pillow, "I get itchy".

"You're sick, like this I'll avoid you to leave your disgusting virus around".

"Actually it's more likely for me to remain being contagious since the infection can't get to leave my body, so…".

"You're sick, period" he snaps, and if I had my eyes open I guess I would see his expression of seriousness when he snaps something. "Besides, you spent a bad night, you kept moving and whispering".

I open my eyes slowly, drowsiness still perched on my eyelids, the pain in my head threatens to make my brain to explode inside my skull, and I'm hungry, very much. It was a bad idea not getting anything for dinner last night, but I fell like a rock for sleeping on his shoulder while we were watching a movie, in addition to the final exams that I should present since the school year is a couple of days to finish.

Disadvantages of taking subjects for students of superior years, I have to keep the notes from my year high in addition to a good reputation if I want those credits to get seated in my academic history.

My view gets focused and I see Jay sitting on the floor, wearing a sleeveless shirt and cotton sweatpants, with one arm stretched to place the blanket over my nose again if I move it away again.

"Good morning, freckles" he touches the tip of my nose with his thick index finger, making me to sigh a little.

"Good morning, princess hair" I say back, stretching out to take a lock of hair between my fingers.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, leaning over me so much that his nose rubs against mine. I move my head back a little, smiling, and that doesn't stop him from leaning more and laugh with me.

I want more mornings like this.

"I feel a little better, I'm not freezing anymore and also I can finally breathe with a little more freedom" I take a deep breath through my nose to prove that, "but I don't want to infect you, so don't lean so close".

"Move" he ignores my request and gets up to slip in the sheets next to me, he sits and lifts me a little, reminding me that he can lift me to work out with me if he wanted it, and I want him to do it, to place me on his lap. Before I can move my head away his hand places in my cheek, he strokes my cheekbone and then my hair, pushing my head against his chest, over his heart. I close my eyes and let out a sigh, almost nuzzling in his strong chest and long hair. "And how are you really feeling? You know, here, in the inside" he pokes in my heart and holds me a little closer.

I let out another sigh, this time not for his kind actions, this time I do so due to the feeling that bubbles up in my throat.

Sure, I stopped crying about her a few days ago, but anyway the sensation of not being loved for the woman that gave me birth lingers in my mind, it comes from time to time and ruins my study hours, when I read in the library, when I talk and go for a walk with Dude, when Jay and I are making out in the dorm, when I eat, when I shower; just every time.

Why am I trying to sink this down? That really hurt me, deeply, but I guess that the least I make everything to revolve around me then the better my new life in Auradon will be.

"I feel… better, much better, it doesn't bother me anymore" he stops taking strands of my hair between his fingers, I let it grow a little just because I can't find a haircut that goes according to my now fifteen-year old self, and his fingers lift my chin for me to look at his dark and hypnotic eyes. "Jay, I'm okay now, really, I don't want you to…".

He kisses me, his soft, warm lips press against mine, a little dry because of the flu, but he doesn't seem to care about it since he cups my cheeks and moves his head more forward, sighing and pressing his lips from time to time against mine. I slowly close my eyelids while I give up to his tender touch, to his eagerness to get infected, and to those stolen kisses that always manage to get my knees weak when I'm standing.

Right now I feel those nerdy butterflies in my stomach and like if his lips contain some kind of medicine to make me heal faster.

The tip of his tongue moves over my lower lip and I make a huge effort to not open my mouth and start with a fight, which will turn out in me lying on my back on the mattress, he between my legs, hands touching skin and clinging to hair, randomly moving over our bodies, sighing, moaning, grunting, and who knows where else it could end up.

His tongue moves over my lower lip again, this time in a more begging way, and still I refuse to open my mouth a single bit.

"Please, Carlos, _please_ " I find something very arousing the fact that he begs for me to do some action, he has done it quite a lot from some time, though this time I'm not planning to give him what he wants. Just this time. "I've being craving for your lips since you started with that stupid banning of no kissing because of your flu. I can't keep it for me anymore, I need your soft lips and all you; I just need you".

I was about to open my eyelids, and my mouth, at the mention of those last words, then I remember that he will do anything to get something from me, both saying it aloud or approaching to it using successive approximations. I have to keep being strong, have my mind focused in an action, that he stepped over a line when he kissed me, and I just really don't want him to be infected.

"I'm craving you too, you have no idea how much" he leans closer, his breath mixing with mine a little more while he leans, and I move my head so his lips end up kissing my neck. "But anyway I'm not going to do it today, and now you'll get infected and I'll have to crave for your lips and all you until you are completely healthy, and that's not fair at all".

"What you do is not fair at all" as his revenge he bites my neck, harsh, almost making me to wince in pain.

"Guilty" I place my hand on his forehead and push him away, opening my eyelids finally and finding him still with his eyelids closed and an intense pink color on his cheeks.

To make it up a little I kiss him in the cheek, he opens his eyes slowly and rubs the tip of his nose against mine. We exchange another smile and a little peck in our lips, then we undo our knot of limbs.

Before I can get up from his lap his right arm surrounds my waist and he stretches the other one to pick up something from the floor, I don't see what it is because I'm more focused on hearing the slow beating of his heart and enjoying his breathing against my face. I do see what he picked up when he places it on my stomach, removing his arm, and the surprise is so big that I try not to let my jaw to hit the floor, or in this case my chest.

I always thought Mal was the talented one of us four with pencils, spray paint, wood colors, and her indubitable talent to create an amazing draw, a portrait, to do anything that involves imagination and her hands. Also, I always thought that the only thing that Jay could draw were blueprints for his escapes after his looting, not because I never thought that he wasn't capable to create another thing, but because he never seemed very eager to draw something else than that.

I never imagined that he also had talent with pencils, this time with charcoal.

I never imagined that I could see a portrait that he drew.

I never imagined that I could ever see myself embodied in charcoal and a sheet of paper in a huge notebook.

"I named it 'Wake up, sleepy baby boy' just because I couldn't come up with something else when I see it" he says, tilting his head to the left so his cheek is resting over my hair, "do you like it?".

I get lost in his words, all I get is the tone of hope that blends with his nervous voice because he really wants to know my opinion of his work.

Right now I'm speechless, mesmerized for what he did and his talent, and because he called me baby boy. That stopped being a secret since in another of his naps in the couch in front of the TV I taped him whispering that, along with my name, and he admitted that he wanted to call me that for a while, and now he does it often because, in his words, 'the blushing that appears in my cheeks when I hear him talking with husky voice and saying that is so intense that there must be a way to name how unique that color is'. When in the world such a thing could be ever heard coming from his mouth? Never in a million years.

Coming back to reality, in the portrait I'm laying with my head against the pillows, the blanket away from my nose, my hair ruffled, my eyelids are closed and a completely relaxed expression is set on my face. Do I really look like that when I sleep?

He drew in detail the shape of my nose, the hair in my eyebrows, the width of my forehead, the lines of my cheekbones, the curve and a little emphasize on my lips, the shape of my face, a few strands of hair attached to my forehead, the game of shades on the exact angles of my face and the sunlight coming in from the window. And my freckles… almost all of them are captured on the image, they're draw in such a delicate way that it almost seems that if I remove one with my finger then it actually will be removed from my face.

"I know it's not the best sketch in the world, besides Mal is the talented one from us four, but I wanted to show you that…".

"It's… amazing…" I finally say, and that word is not enough to describe all the things that are tangled in my head to express what I really think about this in my hands. I had to hold it to entirely believe it's real. "This isn't just a sketch, this could compete against the paintings of those famous artists that hang around the entire school".

"You… you really think so?" I move my head to look into his eyes, a spark of disbelief shines in them, they show me how touched he feels for hearing something like this, but then he frowns a little. "Hold on, you're not saying that because we're dating, right?" he arches his right eyebrow and I kiss it until if falls back down in a straight line.

"I'm one hundred and one percent sure of what I'm saying, even if we are dating or not I'm sure this is indisputable talent" I lift the notebook like if it was a vestige of an antique book of a past civilization.

Doing that a few other pages fall and spread on the mattress, one or two falling from the bed, and this time I get up to watch all of them.

In most of them there are drawings of me, from different sizes and doing lots of different things: tying my shoelaces, getting ready for tourney practice, reading in my bed, frowning when I'm focused in my homework, stepping out the shower, shirtless, laughing, scared, surprised, upset, nervous, sad; a whole spectrum of my different actions and reactions.

There are a few others were I can see the castle and the city, the museum, the statue that changes its form, the Isle of the Lost, Jafar, Maleficent, the Evil Queen, Cruella, Mal in charcoal but also in shades of purple, Evie in blue, Ben in navy blue and gold, Doug, Ally, Freddie, and even Dude appears in a few of them!

In another bunch there are sketches of himself while he's shirtless, when he's wearing his fancy clothes, when he has his tourney jersey on, he drew back the moment when the team lifted him up with his MVP trophy in his hand, he reading, he sleeping, and there is a faceless silhouette that tells me that he wanted to draw himself naked but he couldn't get to complete it (I'm sure it's him because of the fit body and the long hair).

In the two pages that fell from the mattress, more than two when they split apart between each other, I see that those are devoted to us, literally. The drawings in them almost seem as pictures that were printed on the paper, just like all the other drawings he had made so far. I see us talking, sharing food, kissing, smiling, hugging, laughing, playing videogames, me with my head on his lap, when we were in front of his mirror, when we are in opposite sides of the dorm when we discuss.

Jay has a very realistic way to see the world, he takes everyone and everything as something relevant and important.

"You weren't supposed to see all of them" I look back, staring at his ducked head and pink cheeks, the color spreads up to his ears, barely visible for his tousled hair. Is he feeling embarrassed of me discovering all he's capable of? Yeah, he is.

"I'm glad I did it, because of that I can see how you feel about everybody in here, and about me".

"I feel so good when I'm with you, relaxed and all that stuff, that's why I like you a lot" he smiles and finally looks up, taking my breath away with that slight frown but still with his characteristic wink.

We gather the pages together and he keeps them in his notebook, the cover made of leather, and I wonder what else can be in there if he waits for me to turn around to keep it in whenever he keeps it. Outside I see sunlight but also clouds, gray and heavy clouds that means it's going to rain cats and dogs anytime soon. The weather in this place is a little weird, it can be sunny and heat but in another second it could be cloudy, or windy, even cold.

I get up from my bed feeling light, like a feather, and also with a broad smile on my lips. I just feel very flattered for seeing me in his drawings at the same I feel like he's really taking us a something relevant, as something that is important for him so much to capture it in charcoal and paper.

I turn on my heels and see him sitting in his bed, tilting a smile to the right and with that look of 'come here and let's make out until night falls' in his face. I shake my head no, all the blame to the flu, and he purses his lips a little, but still the smile remains.

He had showed me his talent, beside stealing, and I can show him mine if he ever wanted to move with me, if he wanted to have one of his hands in my waist and the other holding mine while we sway at the rhythm of violins, piano, harps, flutes, or any other kind of musical instrument.

And I had never asked him to dance with me, not after the few steps that we exchanged at Ben's coronation, so that I just get my slippers on and approach to him, stretching my hand and decided to share my talent with him, or what I call as my talent, even if he doesn't wants to.

He looks at my hand for a moment and then to my eyes, he shrugs a bit but in the end he accepts with a smile, he gets up and places his right hand on my waist and the other entwines with mine, my left rests on his shoulder.

"I can dance, sure, but I never danced with another person, you know all the dances we've made were in crowds, not in couples… not so close…" I see real worry in his face but I give him a little smile to brush it off.

"That's okay, I'll lead it then. It's pretty easy, I'll teach you" he releases a sigh and keeps our eye contact while he nods.

"Okay".

We start moving in circles in the open space of the dorm, just moving in circles because I see him watching at his feet, bare, while we spin; he's trying to not trip over his feet or step on mine. I see Dude behind him, he tilts his head but doesn't say anything, I guess he knows what are we trying to do, and since he doesn't let me leave the dorm because of my flu I'm kind of applying the ice law against him.

"A-are you sure about this?" he frowns and snorts.

"Are you? I really don't want a wimp as my dance partner" I clench my jaw, challenging him to suck it up.

"Hey, I'm not a wimp, and I'm sure of this".

"That's just what I wanted to hear".

"Come on, let's get this thing done".

I start humming randomly until a tone reminds me of a composition of piano and violin from years ago, when dad used to put it on an old turntable when I was coloring in the living room and he joined me with a book on his hands or ready to make some coloring with me.

I remember that almost every time he put it on I lost the thread of my coloring, I was more focused on the beautiful sound of the instruments, the moments in which the violin and the piano were a combination that almost made me get goosebumps, and at such a young age. It's one of the saddest melodies that I've had the privilege of hearing, but dad always found it excels.

Intoned now by my kind of trained voice I achieve to take away all the essence of sadness and it let us enjoy the beauty of the composition, even if it comes just in humming.

I'm not sure how or when but he's looking at my eyes, not down to the floor anymore. Our feet and bodies move in such a way that we haven't stepped or tripped over each other, I don't understand how he can make me twirl without releasing me and that we can stretch like we know what we're doing.

Perhaps it's because he never stops looking at my eyes and smiling, or because we move slowly, or because we have done it since we were kids and it was just needed from us to be next to each other to move with grace and security in what we do, or because a part of me had always wanted a moment like this, doing what I like the most and having the time of my life, with my special someone.

After a long moment to swaying from side to side our slow and free movements become even slower, my head rests against his chest while his arms surrounds me completely, I stopped humming a couple of minutes ago and yet still it seems that I can keep listening the melody. The roar of the thunders in the storm approaching increasingly makes me jump from time to time, by the loud sound, and I feel completely safe having him so close, knowing that he'll catch me in every possible way.

This really is the way I want to spend a huge part of the future, dancing slowly and being one with each other.

I lift my head, he moves his arms away from me a little and I bent down a bit to twirl, he splits our entwined hands and takes me by the waist, the movement is so sudden that somehow my arms remain trapped between our bodies, I hold his chest while he smiles completely and my knees tremble.

And, however, the feeling taking power of me is so indescribable that I want to stay here, forever.

I don't know if that kind of thoughts are triggered because of the flu, also I feel a little dizzy (I attribute that to not eating any single thing for too long) and I have chills, and considering that there are still some sunlight on the gray exterior of the building that's not a good sign (probably I have a fever, again). Anyway, I like to think that way.

"Jay?" I whisper in such a low tone of voice I'm not sure if he really listened to me.

"Yeah?" he responds in the same low tone while I look up.

"Screw it with my banning".

I get up on my tiptoes to catch him in a surprising kiss, surprising for both of us since I thought I could keep myself in the position of 'I will not do it until I feel better'.

His lips gently caresses mine, this time I let the tip of his tongue to play around with mine, having a light, tricky and playful fight against me, an intense struggle within my mouth that gives me pleasant chills while he spins and begins to go down on… the floor.

A thud, the sudden hit of his body against the floor, almost like a tree being chopped down, makes me to move away and open my eyes, fate or destiny that in my wild sleep from last night one of the pillows fell in the exact place where his head landed, but that doesn't stop him moving with discomfort from the pain in his back and my weigh over his body.

It was such a lucky thing, what we least need now is someone else with no desires to be in the infirmary, but a concussion would be something very serious.

"I've just killed the mood, didn't I?" he asks, laughing while frowning as he gets up on his elbows. He squints at me and tilts his head in the same gesture of confusion that Dude does.

This is one of the few times in which in our rolls, or fighting melee, I end up on his lap, and the blush combined with the chill tells me that I indeed have a fever, not enough to hallucinate that I was part of the leading forces in the old wars between good and evil described in the book that lies under my bed, this time I feel my head too light and like if everything was happening inside some kind of a reverie.

With that in mind I slid my hands down to the bottom of the gray cloth that covers his chest, without some kind of meditation I slip my hands under it and I move them up so that I leave completely uncovered the muscles in his stomach and chest, noting his quick breathing in addition of the small movements that he makes for the pain. However his hands rest on my waist and his thumbs trace circles over my shirt.

"Yeah?" I ask without looking away from his torso for a second, then I lick my lips at the thought of millions of scenarios where this can end up, starting from him getting angry and pushing up to where we finish under the covers of some of our beds. "I don't think so".

If before I detested my hormones for having small lapses in which I could only think on Jay's bright smile, his arms and the small areas of exposed skin that I used to see from time to time then I detest them even more, so that for turning me into someone impulsive enough to want to be against him with nothing over our bodies. That's exactly the point in all this that I didn't wanted to reach, and it seems that the more I thought about to forget it the easier it was from it to took hold of my head.

Before I can proceed with a new kind of thinking the strong vibration of our cell phones, both placed on the nightstand between the beds, bring us back to reality, to the damn reality.

"This will not end up like this" I give one last look at his body.

"I like the sound of that" he purrs and winks right eye, accompanying it with his characteristic cocky smirk.

I get up reluctantly and held out my hand to help him stand, this time he doesn't push it away and he uses me as a light support, regarding me with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before we both take our cell phones.

Although I'm a huge fan of knowing everything I'm capable of about technology, the discoveries that already have been made and the creative scope that they may have, I don't use my cell phone in the same excessive way that does the students, teachers and other residents of Auradon. I can walk without my head down, without the screen brightness against my face, and without those games that, although they seem fun, they become dull and unnecessarily addictive.

The icon of a text message appears in the upper left corner, the place where, as I've seen on Jay's phone, there appear notifications of social network, new text messages, calls, emails, etc. Jay is another addicted to cell phones, but largely he uses it to write short messages to Mal, play with his virtual pet, or take pictures, _millions_ of pictures of everything he does, and sometimes he takes some when we're together simply because he wants to (although something tells me that some of them live in that notebook that he protects with his whole arsenal of defensive tactics).

Not counting Mal, Evie, Jay, Ben and Doug literally II have no other contact, thereby receiving a text message from an unknown number makes me to wonder a bit about the privacy of phone numbers.

The text states:

 _Hi Carlos, I hope you have a good day :) Don't ask how I got your number but mom wants to see you, she says she has something for you to recover from your flu. Come soon to her office, Jane._

Oh, well, that solves the mystery of the sender of the message, but I really wonder who could have given her my number.

I think in that rumor/fact that she likes me and add her number to my contact list, I leave the phone back on the nightstand, noticing that Jay also checks his notifications, but he rather seems to be watching one in particular since his thumb doesn't move to the right to remove them nor the rest of his fingers move at the speed of light to respond to messages.

"Something wrong?" I ask, pulling him out of his thoughts since for a second it seems that he really had forgotten that I was here.

"Nah, nothing major, just a strange text message, but I have to go out to deal with it" he says, passing over his bed, still made a complete mess, towards his drawers to take out a brown shirt, a pair of clean pants and his vest to get dressed in the next second.

"All right, anyway I have something to deal with too" I do exactly the same than him and I get on a simple black t-shirt, wearing the same light pants and the slippers.

He finishes tying his boots and stands up, placing his phone in his left pocket and he gives me a look, like if he were asking for a little more information about what I have to do.

"First of all, it wasn't a message from Ben" he arches his right eyebrow and rolls his eyes, snorting at the end.

"Like if I were interested that he texts you".

"Of course you're interested" he shrugs a little and looks down at the floor on his left.

"So?" he rolls his eyes again and looks at me, putting all his weight on his left leg; he's on the defensive.

"Never mind" I say that so the red color on his cheeks not become into steam coming out his ears. "It was Jane, she says Fairy Godmother wants me to give me something against the flu".

"Sounds like a very good idea, we should have done that at the start".

"I didn't want to go to the infirmary" I put a light blanket over my shoulders though the time, according to the digital clock on the phone, says it's about to be five o'clock of the afternoon. I don't really think it's been so long, that if I woke up at noon or something similar. "Besides I like the caring of my private nurse" I gesture in his direction, "though he doesn't seem to care contracting the virus and be in a similar situation".

"Altruism is my middle name" he places his hands behind his neck and smiles, flexing his arms a little more than the necessary to show up a couple of veins in his forearms. I like to slide my fingers over them.

"I thought it was…".

"Doesn't matter, let's do whatever we have to do. I want to see a movie when we return".

It sounds to me like a very good plan, I nod with energy and we step out into the hallway to the main hall. Dude stays in the bedroom because when I lifted his leash he turned his head with a gesture of complete outrage, and I can't stop myself from laughing about it while he taps his arm against mine and we have a little spat while a couple of people are watching us.

"And what do you have to attend?" I ask when we finally got to the main hall and he stops at the point where our paths diverge.

"One of the guys wants us to continue planning tactics for the next tourney game, he says we need to be the best offensive in all the schools".

I nod and, since I'm only in the field running aimlessly and ready for someone to step over me to jump and make the winning score of the game, I say nothing more.

He gives me a squeeze on the shoulder and I look up, he gives me a little smile and the winking of his right eye before he starts walking, swinging his arms a little more than the necessary. I let out a sigh and a conflict of ideals begins to occur in my head.

Should I say just like that? I don't think it's a brilliant idea, it could ruin his reputation and destroy the high degree of respect that he has reached between all the people around here.

Should I stay quiet? That's not a good idea either, although, anyway, if a huge part of the kingdom saw the kiss we had at Ben's party then I shouldn't give it so much importance.

I let out the air that I hold in my chest in a long sigh.

"I heart you" I say in a voice loud enough for the bystanders to stop with looks of utter surprise in their faces, just like stopping him dead in his tracks, like if he had hit his toes against a piece of furniture, a thing which had happened more than once.

His shoulders are tense and he turns slowly on his heels, arching his right eyebrow a little more than usual, trying to ignore the unnecessary laughter from a couple of girls on one side, and he walks closer with firm steps and a trembling in his lower lip until the familiar warmth of his body is placed in front of me.

There, I should remain quiet. I seriously should remain quiet.

"I-I'm sorry, I really didn't…".

"Is anyone watching?" he interrupts me, using a serious tone of voice. I get up on my tiptoes to look over his shoulder, there's a group of people behind him pointing out at us while the small group of clumsy girls at our side continues with their gossip.

"A couple of people behind you, and the girls at our side" I say and duck my head, ready for an uncomfortable situation.

"Good".

And he just hugs me, his hands first takes my shoulders for them to pull me closer to him, he places his hand behind my head and his fingers caresses gently my nape, I close my eyelids slowly while my arms surround his waist, reminding me that, even when it's impossible that two bodies can be occupying the same space at the same time, by having him by my side almost any impossible thing can become true.

"I heart you too, so that don't keep it for yourself the next time you want to say it" with a quick but warm kiss on my lips, also that I adjust his beanie for it to not be tilted, he moves away again, he walks with all his greatness and shooing with his eyes away to those people who are watching him, that were watching us.

Lesson from this time: I must not remain quiet, the consequences can be quite awesome.

* * *

 **Jay's POV**

 _There's something very important that I want to discuss with you, I'll wait for you in my bedroom as soon as possible. XOXO, Audrey ;)_

Why the hell a spoiled and pampered princess would ever want to see me? I mean, strictly speaking I'm still one of the worst dregs from the Isle of the Lost, so someone of the royalty from here would have _nothing_ to do with me, nothing. I don't see what could be so important for her to have to see me.

And what in the world is that 'XOXO' thing, some kind of code among girls? I hope I never get to understand it, and I really need to do a purge of phone numbers since more than the half of them remain in my contact list without a name, they're simply the set of numbers, and it's weird talking to the person on the other side of the set of numbers without me being able to assign it a face.

The first number I should eliminate is hers.

I don't feel right lying to Carlos about what I really have to do in the day, but this is one of those things that I prefer to keep silent, is one of that kind of interactions that raise suspicions, and in his case it would raise his bushy eyebrows and would make him to wrinkle his nose with all and his lots of freckles, the most characteristic feature in him that I find difficult to capture in charcoal and paper.

That was supposed to be a secret, and that one in particular was supposed to be a gift, but having him in my arms after watching him waking up made it impossible from him to not see how serious I'm taking us to do that kind of thing.

I try to sneak in the dorm section of the girls, but not like if I'd took some valuable necklace or some other trinket, just like if I were looking for Mal and Evie to chat, or to collect those twenty bucks that Freddie owes me for overcoming her in a food competition.

I don't understand what made her think she could beat me in something like that, after all my voracious appetite combines three factors: the first one is that I have a history from the Isle, back there food is a luxury that not everyone can afford, and even I had days when there wasn't a single morsel on the table; the second one is that I'm a sporty guy, everything I do makes me hunger at multiple times during the day, but I have to keep myself controlled to not increase my weight drastically; and the third one is that everything prepared here is suddenly delicious, so wasting even a small piece would be something like an mistake.

Although I must give her points, she gave a pretty close battle, but not enough to make me believe that I would lose twenty bucks.

When I come to her door, with the name Audrey Rose* stylized in gold letters, I stop for a moment, thinking that I can just turn around and completely ignore her request, but I also know that I will not take her off of me until I listen to whatever she has to say.

Reluctantly I knock on the door and rock on my heels until it gets opened, revealing an overly smiling princess on the other side of it. And I come to think that she caught my attention when I got out of the limo; I still wonder what fault happened for her to make it.

"I see you got my message" she says, using a cloying voice and smiling in such a way that she's showing all her teeth. I'm not quite used entirely to the gestures of these people here, but I'm pretty sure that an ordinary person does not smile like that, not unless it's concerned to that fateful cat that used to appear around Ally's mother.

I must be careful.

"Yeah, whatever. Could you hurry up? I have a Trigonometry test in my door, also Carlos is sick".

"It will not take long, I think" I frown slightly while she opens the door of her dorm completely. "Come in, please".

I roll my eyes slightly and force myself to smile, I step forward and enter to a place with insipid off-white walls, a couple of lacking-of-originality paintings are hanging on the walls, and there's the furniture of all the dorms. I don't understand how students in here manage to get single dorms, but if I have in mind that Carlos keeps calling us four as 'social experiment' then I think I have a fairly clear idea of why the girls and we have to share the same space.

I wonder how the feeling between Carlos and me would develop if we had single dorms.

One of the many advantages of being an almost professional thief, or a former thief if I consider the claim of my existence, is that my senses have been sharpened over the years, I can distinguish shadows between dark and my view it's almost like the one of a hawk, if at some point I discover or carefully read those almanacs of animals from the library to learn all about them, because hawks are pretty awesome, and I can distinguish the touch of very different objects, and I hear very well.

In this case I hear the slow closing of the latch from the door, my shoulders get tense slightly and my first instinct is to find a way out, one of the windows that are open and from which enters a cool, damp breeze, besides the flash of a lightning in the distance. The storm is about to get loose.

"Nice place" I say unintentionally, I turn on my heels and see Audrey leaning against the door, she tangles strands of her hair between her fingers and she slightly nibbles at her lower lip, I catch her while she dedicates me a complete look. I clear my throat and that makes her to look at me in the eyes. "So you wanted me for…?" I leave the sentence unfinished, waiting for a concrete answer.

"I had to talk to you, and thank goodness that nosy nerd that's always with you isn't around this time" she moves away from the door and walks as if the floor wasn't worthy enough to hold her while she walks.

She passes next to me, too close, making our arms to touch, and I try to kill her with my eyes while she sits on her mattress, one knee over the other and her hands resting entwined on her lap. She smiles to me and, if she were a boy, there would be a huge bruise on one of her eyes for having said such a thing about Carlos. I would react in the same way if I listened her talking like that about Evie or Mal, but in this case she's messing with my boy, and that's messing with me.

"You know?" There's a point where you can't keep pretending that you like a certain person, and I honestly reached that limit, I can't keep pretending that I like you, neither you nor any single one of the other three… four, if I consider the new acquisition" she leaves aside her facade spoiled princess and takes a more serious stance, she clenches her jaw and her hands become fists in her lap, "so let's just be honest, is that okay?".

"I think it's an excellent idea, simply a brilliant one" I huff and cross my arms, dragging the chair that I have closer to glare at her from a more comfortable position. She widens a smile again and rolls her eyes, snorting. "I'm really surprised to see that someone in here finally stops being such a hypocritical person to talk to me in this way".

She gets up slowly, she approaches towards me with loud stomps but I don't flinch or even move a single bit, I maintain our aggressive eye contact until she starts walking around me, like if she were some kind of a lioness stalking its prey, and there's no way I'm going to take the role of the prey simply because it's not in my nature.

I let out a nasal laugh as I lean back in the chair.

"I admit it, I'm jealous" she laughs the sound resembles to that one of a bark. "But of course, it's not for something that you posses, what could you have that may be enviable for the others?" she appears in front of me in a swift motion, almost like if she jumped to scare me; she'll have to do a better try. "I mean I want something that obnoxious freckled guy have".

I bite the tip of my tongue to try to control myself, I'm really trying, but she's at least down to three more insults for me to start ranting about all the things that make us different, both physically and in many other ways, so in the end I end up being a person with more enviable aspects than her, starting with the fact that I don't need privacy put someone in its place, I would just do it at the time and place where I deem it as necessary.

"So?" I ask, exhausted from this. Audrey stops her second lap around, she looks at me and keeps smiling.

"I don't understand how or why someone like you could be with someone like him having me just a few doors away. I'm a thousand times more beautiful and lovely that her, still it doesn't make much sense… but wait!".

I take a little startle by her sudden scream, she stands for the third time in front of me, she pulls her hands together and points at me only with her index fingers. Her way to talk isn't the usual, she doesn't use that annoying and grotesque sweet tone she uses every time she opens her mouth.

I get it better now, I'm dealing with an ambitious, deceitful and manipulative princess, besides a crazy one, that hides down too many things because I could never think that the daughter of a woman raised by fairies could be a complete witch.

"Now what the hell are you talking about?" I rub my eyes with both hands and slide them down to my shoulders. A million insults remain imprisoned in my head while I try to relax.

"I don't need to think things so much. I'm a princess, I can take whatever I wish in the moment I want it so".

"And what does…?".

Her face slams against mine, her hands place on my wrists so I can't move them, something stupid if I think that simply by raising a little my arm I could get her away, but something seems to explode inside me, a strange feeling but at the same time pleasant, so much that I don't move away from her, in fact I move my head back while an extra weight gets placed upon me, I close my eyes when my arms are free while her hands caress my chest.

It have passed two and a half months since the last time the always soft and aromatic lips of a girl were placed against mine, two and a half months since the light weight of a girl was lying on my lap, two and a half months since the small and soft hands were moving over my neck and over my clothes, two and a half months since my hands were placed on a waist or back so small and narrow to pull them closer to me. Two and a half months…

Her hands move from my shoulders down to my stomach, a slight but growing scent of roses invades the dorm, my hands cling with a little force to her back and waist while I notice that her hands are going down more, and more, and more, to the point where her fingers are playing with the button of my pants.

That's when the pieces fit together, and when the feeling of a slap cuts through my cheeks. It wasn't her, her hands are still on my pants, so…

Yeah, I know what it is.

Audrey Rose is both kissing and touching me, a girl, a princess, someone from Auradon. She didn't leave the Isle with me, she's not the daughter of a great villain; she's not Carlos, she's not the shy boy who often hides behind me when he feels scared, she's not the guy who stays up late at night with hundreds of tasks and tests to deliver, she's not the guy who decided to stay with me in the tourney team because it's something I like to do with his company, she's not the guy who discovered my hidden talent, she's not the guy who's taking both giant and small steps by my side, she's not the guy who I truly lo… heart. She's not my boy, she's not my baby boy; she's not Carlos de Vil.

This doesn't have to be happening, the slap comes straight from the sense of betrayal towards Carlos.

I place my hands on her shoulders and push her away immediately, almost pushing her a yard away to don't be closer to me again. She widens a small smile and settles her hair behind her ears.

"I think you know what I want" she licks her lips and bites the bottom one, winking her left eye.

"All I know is that you're one of the worst people I've ever met, and for being someone taken out from the Isle that means too much" I stand up, smoothing my pants and kicking the chair aside, listening to the crackle of the wood when it breaks. I look at her eyes and all she does is to smile more besides shrugging a little. "This was a simple mistake, you're a bump on my way and I'm lucky that I emerged out of it unscathed from any kind of damage. You said that you can't pretend that you like me, so then I will also say a few things: you're someone highly unpleasant, a liar, an unbearable girl who perhaps should be in the Isle just as much as Chad or some other superficial people that abound around here so much, I'm not planning to be part of the list of guys that are fads for you, so this gets over here and now".

I turn around and head towards the door, listening that she lets out a laugh of complete satisfaction. «Calm yourself, control yourself, you can't turn around and plunge her nose into her skull with a punch».

"If you walk out that door I'll show Fairy Godmother what really is a mistake, your mistake".

I turn on my heels at the right time when she finishes approaching, she stretches our her cell phone and a video starts playing, a recording made with such a definition that would make any geek obsessed with technology to cry, someone like Doug, but now I don't focus that much on it, I'm focused on the recording.

It's… it's me, that night at the museum, my silhouette is impossible to hide, especially with the long hair, the way of dressing and the red beanie. It could be a casual visit to any acquisition of knowledge, but the time is the main problem, the darkness outside shows that I reentered there without authorization, it shows that I came back to try to steal the wand. The effect of the magic had to last much longer… I should be more aware of how the amount of blood on the bracelet was decreasing…

I should… I should… I should…

Busted.

Before anything else can happen I take her phone and throw it against a wall with enough force so the device shatters and it falls down into thousands of pieces and fragments of the screen. Audrey starts laughing, first it's a light laugh but it gradually becomes into a laugh that would actually compete against the evil laugh of Maleficent, or with the deranged laugh from Cruella.

"What's so funny?" I clench my teeth.

"Did you really thought that was my only support? Really?" I'm usually not the kind of person who's lacking of options in blackmailing, but now I'm being increasingly cornered with the few options with which I can come up with. "I'd really like to hear the kind of justification that you have to be in the museum at that time, but truth is that you will not appeal to my good side".

"If there's any one" I mumble.

"Anyway, this is the deal" her tongue, for a moment it seems bifid, moisten her swollen lips, "give me what I want tonight and in return I'll delete the copies of the video and the mail that's about one click to be sent to Fairy Godmother".

"And if I refuse?" I ask, trying to escape from this impasse.

"Well, you're not in a position to be negotiating, but I would like to know how you would succeed to prevent everyone to torment the already miserable existence of Carlos from the Isle, because I'm sure you'd be sent back in the first car available".

I look down because now my options are limited to none, but I look up at her again when she starts back with the laughter in the same gradual tone, low tone first and then the resounding laughter. I guess she notes that I have no escape because she lets out a sigh, of relief, and takes advantage of that I let show that my defenses are, for the first time in years, down.

"I think about everything you just said about me and the fact that I can still notice a lump in your pants" she moves over, too close, and the poison in her mouth passes into mine when she kisses me again, pushing his bifid tongue to enter. "I'll let you think about it for a minute".

She makes a click with her tongue and winks her left eye, she gives me a couple of pats on the right cheek and moves away just to be drop down her back on her bed, she skirt she's wearing rises slightly more than the necessary; that's not a coincidence at all. I clench my fists with all my strength, I look at my hands and my knuckles are so white it almost seems that the bone beneath the skin is about to be exposed.

I run a hand through my hair and let out a long groan of frustration, hating the fact that I attended at her message in first place. I stare at a point in the nowhere because looking at anything else will make me to link it to her and look back at her provocative position.

I can't do this, I can't betray Carlos in this way, everything he has done and the great strides we have taken for all that to finish in the most ephemeral way that may exist can't happen. I really heart him, I can say that more than anything else in the whole stupid kingdom, but I have a threat in my face.

Nor I can go back to the Isle, Carlos would be completely alone and I doubt that the girls will pay him due attention to know what happens with him, what he thinks, how is he feeling and which is the most appropriate way to make him to express it when words aren't enough.

I can't go back to the Isle knowing that I'm there because of a failed attempt to do something for him, to give the happiness that's lacking in his life, and even when dad would receive me with open arms, and lots of things to steal, the Isle is no longer my home, it's just a place where I will end up if this or any other of my actions ends up exploding straight in my face.

If at any stage in my imagination Carlos goes back with me then he live on the streets, eating more junk than the usual, fighting with other homeless people for a place to sleep, all because his maniacal mother would not receive him at home even if he begs for forgiveness and compassion, for mercy, for all that should shine in the eyes of those animals that she turned into clothing.

I can't go back if every morning I will not see Mal and Evie before approaching towards Carlos's place, not if that tedious and repetitive game of stealing what was sold to sell again will continue being there. I can't go back if Carlos isn't going to be there, complaining after running a long time, planning ways for me to approach my loot and to run away, being my accomplice although the gains that he can get from it are minimal. If he's not he there then my reason for being there, completely ignoring the consanguineous one, will have me eager and longing for the day when I can re-experience the breeze of the wind, the impact of the sun on my skin, the cold, a hot shower, tourney, but above all to kiss him, hug him, sleep with him; hearting him.

I swallow the lump in my throat and I walk away from the door, turning off the light on my way, I move with hasty steps towards the window and hear the sound of the drizzle before closing it, just like the curtains, just like the rest of the windows. The decision is taken, I don't remember when I did it but it's taken.

I sit on the opposite side of her bed and hunch my back, feeling that my shoulders have a weight of over one million pounds over, a weight that I will not be able to take off in a long, long time. Maybe never.

The prior felling to the betrayal towards someone I care completely is worse than I got to imagine, even with the kind of personality that I have I never got to do something similar on the Isle. Freddie is the proof of it since ours ended so I could be with who I wanted to be, and ended up with the girl before her after noticing that I didn't feel the same as in the beginning, without there being some kind of cheating involved. But now everything is different.

I feel her movements in the bed until her arms surrounds me, she remove my hair from the left side of my neck and starts to kiss it eagerly, first in a small place and then she moves throughout that whole area, letting her hand free to move on me without a settled course by my side, from my shoulder down to my hips, to my head, where she tries to take off the beanie. I stop her hands and turn my head to look into her eyes.

"The beanie stays" my voice trembles, dammit.

"Why is it so important that…?".

"The beanie stays, period" she rolls her eyes but in the end agrees with a snort.

She goes back to stand behind me, she removes my hair to make it get placed behind my back and her hands fall back down to my shoulders, from there to the zipper on my vest until she moves it away from me, running over her outstretched palms on my torso and all the muscles in her way.

"You're so, so strong" «not enough if I'm trapped here, with you».

I don't answer, I just react when she moves back to make me lay on my back, she stands astride my lap and caresses my cheeks before taking the hems of my shirt. Carlos did the same thing a few hours ago… the feeling I have now can't be compared at all to the one back then…

"Nobody's gonna now of know this, understand?" she simply lifts herself up to remove the pale pink shirt she was wearing. I look away when her bra is in full view.

"Understood, honey".

I get up just what it's needed for her to remove my shirt and throw it down, when she makes me turn my head to kiss her lips in the lips I almost bite the lower one to make her bleed, but that's when the pieces goes back to fit together, when the word that didn't wanted to leave my mouth stands out in my head like the brightness of the moon in the clear and star-filled nights.

«I love you, Carlos».

"And I'm so sorry for what I'm doing to you…" I whisper when we move away to breath, two seconds of relief before we continue with the act of betrayal.

* * *

 **Carlos' POV**

I fill another tissue with the extremely liquid mucus that's coming out from my nose and throw it in the trashcan next to me. It was a terrible idea to go out in my state, but I really needed to step out of the dorm, I was beginning to become a little claustrophobic.

I sink a little deeper into the couch and keep scratching Dude's belly with my feet. He seems to enjoy it enough to not have moved from there for a half an hour ago, but right now I hate exceedingly the repetitive and dull television programs from Auradon, though I'm in no mood for a videogame, and I know that if I watch a movie I'll fall completely asleep, this time for real.

I didn't think that Fairy Godmother could transform her magic into potions, but if she's the magical being of goodness most powerful in the world then I think it's just a taste of what she can do, just like the transformation of Maleficent into a dragon and all that.

A herbal tea with a few drops of a health potion, one of many that she keeps in a hidden shelf behind one of the walls of her office. It's easy accessing to it, you only need to type down a password of seven digits on her computer, the password she thinks she typed down fast enough for me to not memorize it. She will have to make a better attempt.

My curiosity overcame me and was about to take note of each and every one of the small vials, its contents, which ones have a quick effect and which ones have a more lethargic effect. I don't think she was going to share that kind of information.

Of course, all that would have done some good when we had intentions to steal the wand, but now it only seems good to me to know a little more about things you can do with magic. I wonder if Mal could do something like that because it's a fact that Freddie can for all that voodoo stuff.

The soporific effect of the health potion made me to take an unscheduled nap if a full hour long, but it was good to rest that time because Jay hasn't yet returned from the tactical planning. It makes little sense since I saw Ben and another couple of guys from the team in the cafeteria when I walked by for a sandwich, but since not all of them are on the offensive line I didn't stop to ask.

I give a sip to the cinnamon tea that I could take with me to the dorm, the rule says you can't have food in the dorm to prevent rats and other pests, and I lift my head to look over the back of the couch, the drizzle has turned into a large number of drops that are still nothing compared to the storm from two days ago. The sky was just equally as cloudy so I wait for the same lows of energy and the long periods without electricity, but also I wait for Jay to jump to my bed and we talk until we fall asleep.

"When are you going to tell Jay that you love him?" Dude asks with his head between his paws, watching the TV.

I choke on with the sip and try to breathe through my mouth, stretching my neck so the hot water could finish going down and stops burning my throat, but it helps a little to mitigate the irritation that I feel, just a little. I recover what's just necessary to cough, forming phlegm and hating that my throat is so sore. Very bad idea going out when the wind is blowing and the rain is threatening to break out at any time.

I finally can breathe calmly, I give another sip of the tea so the remains of the phlegm goes back to their place. I hope Jay will step out of the flu that surely he will catch in a better way than I do.

"W-what are you talking about?" I ask, I stop scratching him and being rewarded with a wimp.

"Oh, now you're going to talk to me?" he sits and shows me his fangs, his gesture when he's angry.

"Oh, c'mon, you know that deep down you're my favorite".

"That's not true, Jay's your favorite, I'm just the pet".

"Bah, shut up and come here" I stretch my blanket and he takes no more than three seconds to lay on me, his body rests on my legs and his head is near my right hand, waiting for me to pet him. "Why do you say that?".

"About being a pet?" I start to pet him when he wimps again.

"No, not that, the other thing, that thing about I love him".

"Oh, because it's true, we both know it, also I could see it from the first day I saw you together".

I pet his fur slowly, in such a way that he will be purring if he were a cat. In his case, the sound he's emitting is a faint wimp while he looks for more of my touch on his furry body. I move down to his back and then to one side of his body, making that the reflex of moving his leg gets activated, I snicker at myself when his expression seems to say 'keep going, don't stop'.

"I don't think it's appropriate to tell him that, we have only been together for two and a half months".

"I don't see what the problem is" he turns his head to look at me in the eye, "if it's something you feel then I don't see why time has to be something involved".

"Saying 'I love you' to someone is more serious than you think it is" I answer, though I don't really know what I'm saying. "It involves a very deep feeling, also there has to be a very strong bond between two people, there must be trust, affection, ups and downs, but above all there must be reciprocity".

Saying all things that I have unconsciously noticed between Jay and I make me realize that maybe it's not such a crazy idea saying that set of words, even if it sounds precipitate or premature.

"When did you become in an expert in these things?" I move down to a more comfortable position while he nuzzles a little more in my hand.

"I'm not, I'm just saying what's obvious".

The dorm's door opens with such an aggressive movement that it hits the wall behind it and closes again after a few seconds. Jay walks like a shot towards the bathroom, he slams the door to get closed and puts the latch, after a few minutes the shower gets turned on.

Dude and I exchange a look of complete concern, he jumps off my lap so I can get up with ease. I sneeze while I fill another tissue with mucus, I throw to the trashcan and head towards the bathroom's door, knocking before trying to open it, knowing that I will not achieve it.

"Jay, are you all right?" I hear a couple of things moving, just like a couple of insults, and he doesn't answer me. "Jay, just tell me you'll be out soon".

Still he doesn't answer, I only hear his grunts and insults muffled by the thick wood of the door. I wrap myself more on the blanket and lay in my bed, waiting, watching how the water of the rain hits the glasses gently before shortly it rains with sudden intensity.

The roar of thunder makes me to pull my legs as close as I can to my chest, I ignore the fact that the light bulbs flicker and I also appreciate that still it remains a bit of sunlight. Dude jumps on my back to curl up there, without doing or saying anything, just to remind me that if I have a lot of fear in me I can talk to him to mitigate it a bit.

Now that's not entirely my concern.

I know there are times when the game tactics doesn't turn out as how he planned them, like many things that doesn't come out as how they were planned, but Jay is one of those people that's highly sensitive to frustration, when something doesn't work as he expect he tends to be moody and irritable, though there's always a way to calm him down. Now there seems to be none, not in the universe.

I move to the other pillow, the one he usually uses when he sleeps with me, and before I can place my head against it, the bathroom door opens, with another whip that makes it to hit a wall. I get up just to see sweatpants on his waist, a shirt with long sleeves and high neck over him, and his hands squeezing the excess of water from his hair.

I sit up to see him coming and going in the bathroom and the dorm, throwing his dirty clothes in the pile that has to be washed this weekend, with his phone in his hands when he has them free, and staring at the nowhere; he moves around just because he remembers the exact position of the things here, not because he's fully aware of what he does.

Something happens, and it has little to do with tourney tactics.

He throws the wet towel to his bed and surrounds mine, he sits at the other side of the mattress and leaves his head down. I see that his shoulders are shaking, like if he were sobbing, before he lifts his legs up to sit in front of me.

"There's something very important that I have to tell you" he says, without looking up. I try to find his eyes but it seems to be one of those times when his day was so bad that he doesn't want to do anything but stare at the floor.

"I also have something very important to tell you" I squints at me and I give him a smile, then he looks back at a dead point in the sheets. It's time to say that set of words. "You start".

He gets up and the first thing he does is walking towards the window, the sound of the thunder that follows the lightning has a range of four or five seconds, the raindrops against the squares of glass on the windows form a strange pattern on his face, his unreadable expression stays and stays.

He drums the fingers of both hands in the frame, starting with the left hand and ending with the right. He stops and moves his hands together to play with his thumbs. Why is he nervous?

I look down for a second and when I lift it up I see him looking at me in the reflection of the glass, his expressionless eye contact makes me want to cringe for some strange reason, however I don't lose our contact until he finally huffs, moves away from the window and sits in front of me.

"No wasn't planning offense tactics for the next game, I was… I was…" I reach out to take his hand, the way in which he contracts his hand and departs makes me think I gave him an electric shock or something similar, "I was with Audrey in her dorm, the message I got was hers".

"Oh, I guess the furniture she likes to move around to redecorate are pretty heavy, right? That's what Jane told me when I talked to her and Fairy Godmother a few hours ago" I laugh to lighten the mood, suddenly suffocating.

His serious expression remains, even it seems to harden more.

"She didn't ask me to help her with her furniture, she wanted me to go to…".

He hesitates again, for the second time in a row. That's definitely not a good sign, and I try to make my brain to don't pose all kinds of scenarios in which he and Audrey are alone. «No brain, stop it, just stop it, don't do it, not now, not tomorrow; don't you ever do it».

"Carlos, you know I heart you, so much, you're my person, and you know I'd never do anything to hurt you… not with that intention… but…".

"Jay, what's going on?" I ask, trying to pull my hand away when his grip becomes tight, completely firm and oppressive.

It's a fact that there's no filter in Jay's head for his words, almost always he says what he means without thinking. Right now I'm on the verge of panic.

"I… I kissed Audrey… on the lips…".

The flash of lightning makes me jump, he moves with the arrangement to surround me with his arms to protect me and for me to don't be afraid of the storm, of lightning, of anything, but all I do is to move back on the mattress, on the edge if falling down if I back off again.

I don't pay attention to the announcement that resonates throughout the whole school, saying that no student should be in open field since the lightning are reaching the vicinity of the Prep and it's dangerous to be outside, since looking at his dark eyes even for a moment is enough for anything to work right in my head, not after hearing that statement.

"W-why?" it's all I can gesticulate when there seems to be a short circuit in my neural connections.

"It wasn't something I wanted to do, I swear! It was a trap, Audrey got a video of me coming back to the museum to steal the wand and she said she would delete it if I kissed her and…".

"Jay! We chose good, the four of us chose it!" I fight to free myself from his grasp; he's not likely to let me go in a week.

"I know that already!" he hisses through clenched teeth, sounding a little desperate. "I didn't want to steal it for me, or for our parents, this time I did it for someone else, to give something to someone else".

He looks into my eyes for just four seconds or so, frowning to use non-verbal language. 'Believe me, I really did it for someone else, believe me when I tell you I had to kiss Audrey to remove my villainous act which nobody was aware of', that seems to be what he wants to say with that fleeting glance.

"I wanted to give you happiness, that's why I wanted to steal it. I wanted you to be happy".

I breathe a sigh, trying to calm myself. Hundreds, thousands of things pop into my head, starting with that I want to hit him and tell him that I don't need magic to be happy, I don't need anything else besides being next to him. I can overcome it, it was just a kiss…

Or… it wasn't just a kiss?

I swallow the lump I have in my throat.

"Y-you only kissed?".

And there it is.

I could have withstood that little stumble, a stumble that could happen to anyone. But not me, not for the fact that I can't find anyone else attractive than him, but for the fact that I thought that all this was brewing between us was based on companionship, confidence, true affection.

"Carlos… forgive me… I never w-wanted any of this to happen, I-I just wanted to get out of there to come back here, with you, I-I just wanted…".

"Tell me what happened, Jay" he bites his lower lip hard, really pulling me out of my boxes for the first time in years. "Say it!".

"W-we had…".

The drop that was running down his hair gets lost in the turtleneck of the shirt he's wearing, I release my hand in one of his oversights and pull the fabric down, enough to notice a mark of a deep purple color and distinctive tooth marks in it. My view gets clouded with tears while I continue pulling down the fabric a little more, revealing mark after mark, scratches, bites, everything that can appear when two people are having… that…

I look for his eyes again, hoping him to notice what he has done, not only with her, but also with what he has done with me, everything he just sent to straight to hell for believing that having sex with someone could be a way out.

The monsters are not creatures that live in the dark, with sharpen teeth and claws, with holes for eyes, thirsty for blood or revenge. No, the monsters are completely real, every person creates a monster by allowing someone else to play with their strengths and weaknesses at their will until it finds a way to deeply hurt whom it allowed it.

The monsters are completely real, and right now I realize that I'm in love with a monster.

"Carlos… I ask you to please forgive me…".

"I need to get out of here".

Another translation for that could be 'I have to run away from you'.

I stand up and rush quickly towards the door, barefoot, with a flu, with cold, a storm on the outside and tears still forming in my eyes. I don't know what else do I need for them to come out, but I take the doorknob and put one foot in the hallway.

"I love you, Carlos".

I thank that I'm giving him my back since like this he cannot see the first tear running down my cheek and how everything I feel for him gradually destroys into thousands of fragments. I almost fall into his game by hearing him saying that with loud and trembling voice, but I know how he'll try to approach again.

I just witnessed the creation of a monster, and the best way to prevent it to terrorize more people is keeping it locked up.

With a strong whip I close the door behind me, I close my eyes and make a huge effort for my knees to not get weak. I start walking with long strides, feeling the vibration for the thunders and watching the lights flicker for the lightning.

Mal and Evie are not an option now, they wouldn't understand what just happened, I can't ruin their happiness with the shitty moment I just had.

Ben's not an option either, he would talk to me like if he were talking to a wounded animal and he would try to make the communication between Jay and I to be the same again. I don't think I can see him again in my whole life.

This was something that had to happen at some point, of course it had to happen. I'm the freaking son of a villain, and if there's never a happy ending for a villain, who the hell says that for their children themselves there would have one?

Perhaps the pillars of the proclamation of Ben about that we're not like them and all that are real, but it seems that the curse of the fateful destination for villains lies not merely in them, everything revolves around that it's the good people to be the ones looking for the villains to don't get what they want, or they get in their way when they got it not because, for being good people, it's a duty that has to be fulfilled. They do it to rejoice after it, to brag all around that it was they who stopped the plans of a witch, an evil stepmother, a sorcerer, a wicked fairy, a pirate, to anyone who has a plan that goes against their despot values in an entirely utopian life style.

Audrey did that consciously, which makes it a worse act. And if I saw her now I'm sure I would seek a way to push her down the stairs.

Unwittingly I get to Fairy Godmother's office, I try the door and to my surprise it's open, however empty and with a small sign where it says she will come back after announcing the early curfew for the day. I work up the courage enough and rush to her computer, I type down her password, 0190493, and the wall at my right sinks so then it slides to the left, revealing the hundreds of vials that store fragments of her magic.

I take the vials one by one and remove the small caps, reading just a few labels before letting the liquids of different colors to enter my body. 'Health Potion', 'Anhedonia', 'Immunity to Magic', 'Cancellation of Previous Spells', 'Splitting', 'Joy', 'Exaltation', 'Sweet Dreams', 'Intelligence', 'Courage', 'Hidden Talents', 'Hate', among others that I paid attention to.

I'm surprised to see some of them with negative aspects, but anyway I keep drinking one after another and leave the glass vials to fall down to shatter against the floor, also ignoring that some of them make me feel happy, tickles on my feet, heat in my cheeks, migraines, sleepiness, sadness, sweat on my hands, wishes to cry, etc.

When I finish with the last vial, 'Confusing Ideas', another thunder makes the windows to shake and the state that remains in my body is that of dizziness, such a powerful dizziness that I find it hard to walk in a straight and it gives me nausea, although it's not like if I really cared about it, all I want now is tomorrow to come and there comes back the obnoxiously bright sun to remind me that everything I just live today will be ruminating in my head for a month even if I try to live in the usual denial.

My thoughts get clouded while I open all the drawers available until I find a couple of sheets of paper, I sooth them at the other side of the desk and grab a pen with liquid ink, the tip begins to produce a stain that becomes increasingly larger until I'm sure a little ink has crossed about five sheets. Is it supposed that I want to leave back something like a goodbye? An apology for not giving him what he wanted when it was the time? Tell him to go fuck himself once and for all? What do I want to do?

I let out a laugh, coming completely out of nowhere, thinking about what the hell I'm about to capture on the paper. I'm not very good with the drawings so maybe I can try something written, something I've never tried in my life, also it's not like I if had the materials to invent something that shows how conflicting my thoughts are now.

With warm tears streaming down my cheeks, the feeling of having the left side of the chest compressed, a vacuum in the stomach, kicking the fancy desk of Fairy Godmother, and with chiaroscuro thoughts in my head, I let the pen to slide, I let my unconscious to get expressed through my hand and get translated into words, some as ways of praise, others remain there as true samples that that blinding mask that I used to call as love has faded to such a degree that it's like if such an emotion no longer existed in me.

I flatten the paper, a few excesses of ink remain in my hand and they stain the paper, I fold it in the half and again in the half, I keep it in my right pocket and pull out my cell phone. I bite my lower lip for a moment, a few movements of my finger and he'll know where I am, what I'm doing and how I'm feeling, but, again, I don't want to see it.

I decide to send the message to Mal, changing completely the meaning and what I want to say: _Jay slept with Audrey. I don't know what's going on through my head, everything's very confusing and I feel that everything is unreal. I need help, please_. I attach it to her number and send it, letting the device to fall down.

I pull my head back and thrust myself forward, I push the balcony windows open and when they hit the walls the glasses get destroyed, the incessant rain hits my face while I take off the blanket and threw it to the floor, watching how it waves down until it hits the floor of the bottom, half covered with tiles and the other half covered with mud. I support myself in the rectangular pot to climb to the rail made of marble, I stretch my arms when I'm up and let the rain to keep hitting me with all is has, the flu finally left me with the potions and also a little bit of everything.

Why Jay did this?

Should I give myself to him when the opportunity was there?

It is now when I go back to the dorm and pretend that nothing happened?

If I go back a little more, was it a good idea to have been under the watchtower and let the first kiss to happen?

The wind blows with full force, it makes a couple of tree branches on the north to fall like if they were dominoes, the rays are still looking like a complete threat to anyone's health, the lightning resemble in intensity to the flashes of the cameras, and the thunder are still making the floor to tremble. I like all that entire combination.

"It is all you have?! Come on! I know you have something better in hands! Give me something better! COME ON!" I shout to no one in particular. "He just had sex with a girl, he preferred what dictates his crotch than to his feelings for me. Something better!".

The strong wind brings leaves from the trees with it, I cover myself with my hands to avoid them hitting my face, I back off just enough when the extremely smooth surface of the marble and my bare feet, that are bleeding for the small fragments of glass that until now I notice they got embedded in my skin, doesn't seem to get along, I slip and lose my balance until my head, the heaviest part of the body, seems to find safe the vacuum while at the same time it feels safe and sound on the balcony, but in the end three-quarters of all my weight are moving forward in some kind of a somersault.

Everything happens so slowly that I can fish out the square paper out of my pocket and squeeze it hard with both hands. It's not the best nor the ideal way to finish up with this, and it's not like if I had in mind to end with this, but feeling the free falling and the short flight makes me feel truly free, away from all kinds of ideas and bad times. Perfection at its best.

The first thing that hits the tiles is my head, then the rest of my body, and while everything around me gets darker and gets colder with each passing second, besides moist and slightly warm, one simple thing remains, something like the summary of hundreds of potions in my body and what I wanted to say in the face of the monster but I didn't have the chance to.

"I-I…" the shadow before my eyes widens even more, I dedicate it a smile, "I-I hate you…".

Dad… I'll see you soon.

* * *

 **Jay's POV**

Dude's shrieks are about to tear my nerves apart, just in the same way as his scratches on the door and the circular movements he's making in the same place; simply everything he does reminds me that he prefers a thousand times the company of Carlos than mine, and just that reminds me that maybe I just lost his company forever.

With a jump I reach my mattress, I cover my head up with the first blanket that I have closer and reach out to take my headphones from the bedside table, I place them over my ears to mitigate a bit of the shrill sounds coming from the brown beast.

I bite the inside of the cheeks until the cupric taste of blood fills my mouth and I don't stop because, if I do, the tears that are forming in my eyes and that I have never spilled for anything or anyone will begin to leave in spurts, like waterfalls, as the living proof that I screwed it up like a champion. This will not be a situation of forgive and forget.

The way in which his face broke was heartbreaking, the way his eyes lost the spark of what he felt for me made my heart clench, like a small heart attack at that moment. Dammit, the way in which he took my words was just like how I expected it, I was really hoping him to run away and leave me here, with hundreds of explanations formulated in my head and about nothing to come out from my lips, my swollen and treacherous lips.

Audrey promised to not leave marks, she promised to be discreet, and the first thing she did was to bite and scratch all that was in her path, besides being so noisy that she made several people to punch the door to shut her up.

I was laying there, motionless and quiet, with my arms at my sides while she did as she pleased, while I closed my eyes and tightened my jaw, all the time thinking about Carlos, in his laughter, his fear, in the small details he had give me, in his freckles, in the way in which I would tell him the truth time. Everything is out of my control, if I ever had it.

I get up out of bed and let the blankets to fall beside me, I take Dude's leash and approach to him, he gets in his attack and shows his fangs, I reached out to try to secure the leash to his collar but I receive a warning bite, his fangs presses into my hand just as a warning, but that doesn't stop me for noticing small, bleeding holes.

"Let's track him down, we have to find him" I look into his tiny eyes and, reluctantly, he lets me secure the leash.

I open the door and immediately I let him take the lead, he sniffs every corner and rushes his step when he seems to find a trace of where he's going. The castle is huge, I just broke his heart along with all those dreams, desires, future plans and expectations for the future, also that he's small, or he used to be small, so he could be hiding anywhere and decide to not appear until the considers that I've received enough of a punishment.

Or he could simply never appear, or be indifferent. I don't know which one of those possibilities is worse, but raising them is not bad since like that I might think poorly in a way to fix what I did.

«You just say indirectly that you had sex with a girl, do you really expect there to be a huge welcoming cake, a smile on his face, and that he's willing to forgive you for betraying his trust and play with him in the cruelest way there may be? You seriously should go with Fairy Godmother and tell her to send you back to the Isle as a precaution, after all you're dangerous, toxic, a traitor; it's in your nature to be like that, you just pretend to be someone else».

I try to silence down the cruel voice in my head while we got to the outside, I try to stop him but he pounces hard, so much that he has to stand on his hind legs to prevent the collar to suffocate him. Carlos wouldn't have a reason to be under an electric storm, thinking or not he measure the risks of what he makes, and if he don't he premeditates them before acting.

I move towards the heavy rain, hating not having taken an adequate coat for this kind of weather, and we surround almost the entire castle until I can see the tourney field and the forest where he and Dude met.

That's when he stops, Dude moves in circles, he wimps, jumps and throws himself into moist floor, he crouches to take something with his snout and lifts it for me to take it. It's the blanket that was over his shoulders. Where the hell is he?

Like a response from the universe to my question, the worst way to respond, a few steps away I hear the unmistakable, terrifying and sudden sound of bone hitting a surface filled with tiles, the fracture of the calcium while the gravity lets the rest of his body to touch the ground.

I let the blanket fall back to the floor, Dude doesn't seem to be able to take it since he flees inside the building, barking desperately in his way, while I approach with wobbly steps and kneel beside his inert body, next to that tiny human being that moves in his place, struggling to survive, to breathe, and perhaps hoping the pain to go away soon.

A thunder illuminates all the dark corners of the building, the forest and his body, I slide my hands under him to lift him up a little, the warmth coming out of his head on my right hand almost makes me to drop him again, the irregular movement of the bones of his back while lifting up, like marbles trapped inside a sack, almost make me to throw up for the fifth time in all the afternoon.

What have he done?

What have I done?

"I-I…" I approach to hear the barely audible tone of his voice, I can hardly distinguish it between the strong and heavy rain, "I-I hate you…".

I look at him again, I see that from his chest comes out one last breath and his hands stop shaking, revealing a piece of paper between them. His throat stops moving in a desperate attempt to breathe, and the twinkle in his eye, that little spark that always shines even when going by through one of the worst days in his life, completely extinguishes.

He's gone.

Carlos died.

Carlos just died in my arms.

Carlos just died because of me.

* * *

* I chose that last name for the alias Aurora receives in the version of the Brothers Grimm of Sleeping Beauty, Briar Rose.


	10. I'm ambivalent

Or… is he?

Fav, follow or review, and I'm sorry if I make anyone else feel uncomfortable but I feel really good writing the opposite to what I'm used to. Anyway, enjoy :)

* * *

 **I'm ambivalent**

Die…

Die is like…

It's… kind of difficult to describe it because, strictly speaking, it's the cessation of all bodily functions, that involves breathing, pumping blood, thinking, all of that stops, and it all stopped in the hollow body that I can see.

At first it feels right, like something that has to happen, sooner or later but it has to happen. Maybe what happened to me wasn't supposed to occur now, not soon, not only yesterday.

I didn't mean to do it, even with the potions inside my body, and my fresh-broken heart my main intention wasn't to jump. Scratch that, I can't even call it as a jump, my judgment wasn't that kind of blurry, it was just a slip and free fall down to the floor, against the tiles, straight forward to my death.

It also feels lonely, it's something you go through on your own, and even with that shadow that appeared over me I still felt alone all the time, going out like a light, just like blowing in a candle to extinguish the fire.

I have to recognize that Auradon had a pretty rushed reaction to it, after he started screaming for help the guards hurried to take me away to clean the scene, they sent me to a place where someone drained out all the fluids of my body, they washed me and stitched the wound in my nape to then make me wear the fanciest suit that I've ever wore in my whole life, a black tux with matching trousers, a white shirt and a black tie.

Right now I'm against a corner, hidden in a shadow that not even the candles can light up. Anyway it doesn't matter if I'm hidden or not, I could be wandering around the castle where Ben's coronation took place, walking by between all the people gathered together around the coffin with my body cased in it.

I could be wandering around but I prefer to stay here, sitting in the darkness, feeling rest, fresh, even a little pampered for everything that I've went through in just a couple of hours, because from here I can see the almost two hundred people gathered, some of them crying, another bunch being dragged to attend to this (it's evident in their faces), some other people are expressionless, and some others, the weirdest people, seem to outline happy smiles, them tightening a little the corners of their mouths. Of course they're happy, the child of a villain is down, there are just three left to take down too, but those three can fight if someone even tries to bring them down.

Not many people liked me when I got here, not many got along with me in the first month, neither after we chose good, so I guess I shouldn't feel that surprised for seeing those expressions. And still I do.

Finally I get up and start walking, avoiding people that can't see or feel me, I walk with bare feet and something like the scraps of the clothes I was wearing in that moment attached to my body, and if I look back I see a pair of blood stains where my feet step. I see myself as a person, an average person, not as something transparent or having a tail that ghosts in cartoons have, it's just me but no one can see me, _no one_.

I'm still not sure how that happened, how I could still see how the world was still moving without concerning that I died, I just know that I sort of woke up there in the balcony and saw from the moment when he started screaming for help, from there I just jumped to land perfectly on my feet to follow my dead body around all the places through which it had gone.

In the crowd I spot Jay sitting closer to the coffin, and by closer I mean in the fourth row made of chairs, he's still playing with his thumbs, he moves his lips like if he were whispering something in such a low voice that not even he could listen to himself.

I roll my eyes and sit on the coffin, looking and listening to the guys from the team, along with their parents, while they place a few offerings, a school banner, and a picture of the whole team over the place where my rigid and yet entwined hands rest, over my chest. I also stare at myself, actually admiring how I really look, how my cheekbones seem more outlined along with my nose and most of my features, also my freckles seem to be darker and increased in number. The fall of my hair, my lips, eyebrows, and the smooth surface that my skin seem to have, though it seems smoother and brighter for the preservative chemicals in which a couple of people sank me down.

I stare at all that and realize one thing: I'm good looking, cute at least. Maybe as handsome as Jay and his mature looks for his age, or like Ben and his younger face for being a prince and the son of a beast and a gorgeous lady, but anyway I keep to myself that I'm good looking.

For something like twenty minutes people walk by whispering how sorry they feel for me being gone, how much they'll miss me, all the plans they had to add me more in the games, a few of my classmates saying how much they'll miss my long and accurate explanations about things in classes; they're saying their goodbyes in their very own way.

And still most of them don't mean it, I still see it on their faces. They're forced to do it, just like almost everyone here; they're forced to be here.

If in a funeral the people that attend supposedly are relatives, friends, and significant others, the chairs around the coffin would be reduced to something like fifteen, more or less. Right now, excluding people like Jay, Ben, Doug, Jane, Ally, Jordan, Lonnie, Belle, Beast and Fairy Godmother the rest of people are almost complete strangers, and my remaining two friends are nowhere to be seen, neither is Freddie. Such an amazing group of friends, with their flaws like in any group.

Fairy Godmother appears out of nowhere and, for the first time in these couple of hours, because she wanted all this things to happen, she looks down at my corpse and a tear slides down her right cheek. She's one of the few people that I really feel bad for hurting because yes, even when I almost destroyed her office, drank all her potions and all the things I caused, her actions had always being orientated in such a way that she always wanted to help me after the situation with mom happened, making me to visit her office to talk so I could cry and say how I really felt about it.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry I couldn't help you" she caresses the glass that keeps me trapped inside the wooden box, ebony wood; a very expensive box for a quick and unnecessary event like this. "I'm so sorry I didn't notice how sad you actually felt, I should have done everything in my hands to help you out. I should because this is my entire fault, and I didn't, and I'm sorry".

"It wasn't your fault, the only one to blame is me" I say, placing a hand on her shoulder, a motion she doesn't feel and that she'll never feel. "Jay and I are the ones to blame".

I take my hand off and look at him, catching him in the first glance he gives towards here. He sighs, shakily, and over the back of the chair in front of him his arm are hanging, his knuckles are entirely white, and also he moves back and forth in his place.

He didn't sleep at all, last night he was staring at the floor, yawning but also punching himself in the thighs to don't fall asleep. He was walking around the dorm, he did some crunches and pushups, he watched infomercials and boring TV programs, he played some videogames, and when the sun was starting to be seen on the horizon he took Dude and they both laid on his bed, he petting him and Dude half awake-half asleep, but he was more focused on the surprise he felt for being pet for the first time for his rough hands. He hasn't ate anything either, he just took a violently short shower and got dressed to sit back there since all this began.

It hasn't been more than twenty-four hours and this finally seems to approach to an end, I think that because a few guards get inside and stand at the corners of the box to just stand there, motionless, their hands entwined behind their backs, avoiding Dude that come with Jay and lied down at the feet of the box, wimping and sighing from time to time, whispering how sad he feels, how much he loved me, how I changed his boring life of being the campus mutt, and that he'll stay with Jay forever for him to don't feel alone. Neither my pet is available to see me, or to hear me saying that Jay never feels alone, or that he has Mal and Evie, the guys from the team, or his gross whatever-they-are.

I get down to take a sit on the floor, pulling my knees closer to my chest and surrounding them with my arms, while everyone takes place in the adjacent chairs, some people tired and some other pissed, but most of them now seem sad.

It's weird watching everyone wearing black, I got used to the bright colors and cheerful places, not dim castles, candles literally everywhere, and all the people mourning the loss of the son of a villain that died last night.

I'm dead.

Or… something like that.

Ally, Jordan and Lonnie are sitting in the front row, Ben and Doug too, even Audrey and Chad are in the second row, looking ready to get out of here in the first moment the had the chance to. Though she got laid with Jay now they doesn't seem able to look at each other in the least, she doesn't look back and he doesn't in her direction, and even when we four chose good our relationship never got better. Because of her everything went down the hill, and personally talking I never get the feeling of teammate with Chad because he called me Queerlos and stuff every time he found me alone and he could corner me in the locker room.

"Dear citizens and students from Auradon" begins saying Fairy Godmother, standing in a podium and forcing her voice to don't break right now, "we're all gathered here to say our last words and goodbyes to one of the sweetest human beings in this place, Carlos de Vil" she walks around the circle made of chairs, fresh tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Ben's proclaim to take kids out from the Isle proved that, even with their backgrounds, each and every one of them has goodness in their hearts, it was just matter of time from them to develop it. But Carlos, sweet, innocent Carlos, he never was a villain in the first place, he was raised to fear things and be submissive to them, not to face them. So that he never did anything evil alone, he just went to school, played tourney and had a new pet to help him overcome one of his many fears, he also had good friends, found some new ones, and he had someone who he really loved, and…".

I get lost in that, I lift my head just to see the orange, pink and yellow shines from the sun entering through the skylight in the ceiling, the last rays from the sun hit straight where I'm sitting, and this form that I took doesn't make a shadow.

That's it, I'm done in this place, in the kingdom, in the whole planet.

Someone who he really loved, that's exactly what she said. Dude was right, my powerful feelings for him were always very strong, enough for words like 'heart' or 'adore' to never be enough to even try to express that I love Jay… that I loved Jay. I'm in a point where I'm not sure if I can feel or whatever, all around me are people and a grim situation, not anything about myself, my body, what's in my head; not anything of that at all.

"If there's someone that has any other thing to say then now it's the time, we'll take him to a special place for his eternal rest" I get up to see that.

No one moves, no one blinks, no one breathes.

No one does anything for what seems like hours, like days, forever, but it's just a couple of minutes that the atmosphere gets tense, some persons finally look up towards those that they know, only to share a look of 'what are we supposed to do when we never talked to this dude for more than ten seconds, and it was just because I had to do it to get something' and some others of 'you go first', 'no way! You go first, you kinda knew him a little more than me'.

It's sad at the same time it's kind of funny that it almost makes me laugh, these people are very used of happy things to happen in their daily life so the sudden death of someone is enough to bring down a little of the pillars in their weird lifestyle.

I see a head getting up in the crowd, it walks towards the coffin with its face down and the gaze focused in the floor, in the shoes, in those feet that only a few hours ago were dancing around the dorm with me. I actually wasn't expected him to get up, to watch the altar, to even attend this when he heard the whole plan.

He said he wanted to get the wand again to give me happiness though he never gave me the chance to tell him that he made me happy, that all the happiness I needed every morning when I woke up and every night when I went to bed was with him, and now all that he can give me, being whatever I am right now, are poisonous kisses, harsh hugs, and empty words; a toxic relationship.

The whole place sinks down in a silence way more than uncomfortable, more than the one that came when she asked for last words. Fairy Godmother smiles and approaches to him, I do it too because I'm solemnly interested in what lives in his mind to make him walk towards me.

"Jay, you have some final words" she says, completely touched while one of her arms tries to surround his shoulders, but because of the height difference she just places her hand on them.

"Yeah well, it's not exactly that, it's just a couple of things that are bugging my mind right now, starting with the fact of him being selfish".

The small and slow steps they take makes them able to say all of that, and when she stops in her tracks it seems the guards are ready to get into action and save her from Jay, they seem ready to send him back to the Isle for even being so close. Maybe they know about what happened and that's why they react that way, maybe Audrey didn't keep her promise and send the video to them.

So many maybes, I don't have answers for that.

"S-selfish?" she asks, waving her hand to tell the guards to back off.

"Yeah, what he did was completely selfish" he looks at her in the eyes for a second, clenching his jaw and talking in whispers, "on the Isle it's a rule for you to stay with your gang and do stuff with them as long as it's needed, you stay next to each other because the bigger the group is the stronger it becomes, and with that little act he seemed to forget all that, he forgot we were the evilest gang of them all, he forgot about his friends, and he forgot about me".

This is freaking unbelievable! So after all that he did just yesterday, after the things he thought were necessary to say straight in my face, after he was the one who spoiled all this up, he's the victim out of this and I'm in any way the bad one?! I'm so sick of him.

"So, please, I want to at least be able to tell him how selfish he was alone" with that last snap Fairy Godmother ducks her head and backs off, giving him free way to take the couple of steps up to the coffin, he stares down at my face and the straight line on his mouth doesn't change.

Wait.

Hold on.

I look at him completely and see it, little but I see it. One of his hands is inside his front pocket, when he slide it in I don't know, and for the constant movement he does in there I realize he's pinching the skin of his leg, the barely noticeable squint he does with his eyes tells me he's regretting all he said. The last time I saw him doing that he was eight and I was six, he came back from giving the loot to Jafar and it was so poor he got a punch in the cheek, and I saw him doing the same thing while he was ranting about how a monster his father was, how much he hated him for having him doing such a thing, that he wanted to leave the Isle and get lost in the wide ocean, and some other things like that.

I don't really know what he's regretting, all I know is that finally his lower lip trembles and, for the first time in a life of seeing his face daily, his eyes are glassy.

"Carlos… baby boy, I…".

"YOU!".

Every single soul in here gets their heads up at that shout, I do it too, towards the voice that in between lines says it's furious and at the verge of doing something way beyond evil for what happened.

Mal opens the doors of the castle wide open, she walks with loud stomps and with that spooky glowing in her eyes shining like never before, it almost seems that her whole eyes are nothing but green and that everything she feels inside is about to come out through them.

Evie and Freddie get in here too, all three of them wearing black, Evie rushes to try to stop her while Freddie walks with slow steps, arms crossed, and staring at the scene, almost enjoying the little fun that can come out from it because that's another thing from the Isle.

Funerals never take place in there, and if they do it's just to remind the living ones how lucky we are for being able to breathe for another day, how not a little flu, some fever, or even a crazy person ready to tear out one of your eyeballs from their socket with a spoon got you, that you're smart enough to get out of it with ease, or that destiny has another more ruthless way to take you down. I never attended to a funeral on the Isle, and now attending to mine it's hard to swallow.

People move out of her way in the exact moment when she hides one hand behind her back for a second because, in the next one, a green fireball dances in her open palm. Some people hide behind the pillars or the chairs, Jay stands there with his chest out, full of pride, and I just stare at the fire that shines in her hand. It's beautiful, really beautiful.

"You did this!" she shouts again

She settled her aim in her target since she got inside here, and with just a swift motion of her arm the fireball flies through the air, but Jay is way faster than her and he's able to dodge it, or almost. The fire hits his hair and those brown strands that found a fatidic destiny falls down slowly to the floor until the get consumed by fire and become in smoke, something like that the soul of the hair.

An allegory? Totally.

Mal snaps her right fingers and opens her hand, another fireball gets born in her palm, and before she can even think of raising her arm to attack a brown flash with ridiculous haircut runs among the crowd and towards her, his arms takes hers and it suppresses her intentions in a tight hug. Ben moves without releasing Mal for a moment, his green eyes are looking straight at hers, like if he were trying to calm down that voice in her head that commands her to attack.

Jay and Mal had fought in the Isle before, and there was no magic then, so watching a fight between them with magic involved is beyond exciting.

"Mal, stop" Ben whispers, voice firm and tender but he also hisses a little since the little fire that's still burning in her hand is reaching him. Mal looks over his shoulder at Jay, who's slightly trembling and ready to escape if she tries to attack him again. "Mal, look at me, please stop".

«Do it, Mal, do it again», I internalize.

What am I thinking? They were friends before Evie and I came to their lives, they were pretty close since Jafar and Maleficent pull them together since babies, so that I'm almost sure they will solve this out.

"He did this, Ben" she looks at him and still she has the green in her eyes, but this time she's not clenching her jaw, she almost seems at the verge of tears and she never cries. Am I that important to her? Hard to believe.

"No, it was an accident, Carlos fell from a window and…".

"That's a lie! A big lie!" she manages to release from his hug, Ben pulls himself forward but Mal ducks, snaps her fingers again and throws the fireball, Jay also ducks and the fire explodes against one of the walls. "Jay did this! Carlos told me a while before it happened, Jay did something that I can't say because it makes me sick and it lead him to lie inside that stupid box!".

The crowd is panicking, some people are crying and protecting the younger ones while most of the men are in the front, all of them eager to give their lives to die as brave heroes. This situation is only between them, I can almost swear they forgot where they are right now, this is about them.

Some tears of fury finally start sliding down her cheeks, amazing me and some persons at her right, before she snaps her fingers to cast another fireball, but this time Ben doesn't get closer to try so sooth her.

This time Evie does, she stupidly places with a scowl on her face in front of Mal, she places her hands on her shoulders and then she cups her cheeks, forcing Mal to look at her straight in the eye. Mal fights back, trying to move her head away, but Evie seems so determinate to calm all the negative emotions she has right now inside of her that I'm thinking that maybe I wasn't the only not-villain in our gang after all.

"Mal, please calm down, breath in and out slowly, in and out" Evie starts with soft voice, she almost seems to outline a reassuring smile for her to ease, "now listen to me and focus on my words, only focus on that. We're taking our own decisions now, we're different from the persons that left the Isle, we changed and we chose good, and revenge isn't a thing we'll do, that's a thing our parents taught us we have to do no matter what".

Mal breathes slowly in and out, the fire in her hand dies and the glow in her eyes too. Evie moves her hands down to her shoulders, letting her watch the place she finally recognizes. Her eyes move from Fairy Godmother to Ben, then Jay, then in the crowd she spots Audrey and the frown appears again.

"E… he hurt Carlos, he and that stupid princess hurt him…" she says, forcing her voice to come out in a casual tone.

They both turn their heads in his direction, Jay moves back a couple of steps before he collides against a wall made of guards, ten burly guys that are almost a head taller than him are at his back, and one of them takes his arms to prevent him to run away. Jay doesn't fight to set himself free.

They walk towards him, Fairy Godmother is about to get in their way but Ben stops her, they share a look and he just shakes his head no. He's right in this, they can't get in the solution, their interference will only make it worse, if there could be any worse point after fireballs and fury.

Mal and Evie stand in front of Jay, side by side, the guard lets go of him and a few of them moves back to the coffin, the others go outside or remain in here to act in case of another combat gets loose.

"M is right, what you did to him has no name" Evie changes her voice, now sounding like if she were talking to some disgusting animal. "He was head over heels for you, you drove him crazy, and you did this to him. Mal showed me the text message, you can't to anything to deny it, and I said _anything_ , Jay".

"I never meant to do it…" Jay tries to excuse himself.

"But you did!" Mal takes one step to the front, eyes glowing green and making Jay to trip over a step and fall down, he lifts in his elbows but Mal places a foot in his stomach. "What you did is called betrayal, idiot, and friends don't betray, but you stabbed Carlos in the back. You're father was right, you're pathetic, useless, a selfish thief, and the biggest idiot that made his best friend to die because of him" she kneels and takes his tie, pulling him so close to her face that Jay seems actually scared, and because of that Mal smiles a little, "you killed my little brother, I look down at your disgusting face but I don't know who you are anymore. You're so useless here that you have to be sent back to the Isle!".

"Thief!" a person says.

"Liar!" a girl snaps.

"Useless boy!".

"You suck at tourney".

"Douchebag".

"Man-whore!".

"Carlos deserved that trophy, not you".

"Jerk!".

"Brainless piece of garbage!".

The crowd joins them in their attack, comments like those starts to rain against him, they seem to be lapidating him right there, right now. All those words make him to take deep breaths and he looks everywhere, scared, kind of terrified, at the girls, at the guys from the team, Fairy Godmother, he even looks at Audrey for a second, and when he has no other face to look at, nowhere or no one to hide with, he does his specialty.

He runs, he gets up with a jump and runs at the high speed his legs has, he does that leaving behind him a stink of burnt hair and desperation, he runs faster than ever until he reaches the huge doors of the castle, then he turns to the right and disappears.

The crowd goes back to the deep silence gradually, they take their seats while Mal rests her head on Evie, they rock a little in their place while both of them are letting tears to roll down their cheeks, the first since Mal never cries and Evie is always be more than worried for her mascara being ruined.

They really care about me to let that to happen, they really do, they did all this because they felt I was some part of them, we were a strong gang with different features, now one is gone and another is ruining away from his decisions, so it leaves them, the strongest, to keep going together and, if they let them to get in too, with Ben and Dough at their sides respectively.

"Let's… let's just continue with the last words for this beautiful human being. Does anyone want to…?" Fairy Godmother asks and, after the heated moment, she gets interrupted since people are finally standing up and walking towards the coffin, the expected people. Even Freddie approaches, that's new.

I hurry to sit back in there again, expecting to hear something more interesting than the already repeated bunch of words to say farewell to me.

"You were supposed to have a better life, really, a better one, but it ended up too soon for you to get it. I'll miss you very much buddy, I swear I will, and even when we weren't the best friends I think we had an amazing new-born friendship" Ben states while a tear rolls down his left cheek.

"I'm gonna develop that program in the computer and call it after you, I wish you could see it to work out, I'll make it awesome because you were an awesome guy. Lab partners forever, goodbye my dear friend" Doug says, breaking in tears when he steps back.

"I hope all the spirits of the animals your mother killed attack you when you set a foot in the doors of hell, because that's for sure where you're gonna stay forever. See you never, Queerlos" Chad snarls, stretching his black jacket and rolling his eyes.

"More room for me I guess, even when he's confused now he'll get over you and I'll be there to comfort him, to help him and to… you know, be there when he feels alone" I wish I could do a little something to prove Audrey that even when I'm not something material I can still make a living hell out of her existence.

"We didn't know each other that much but I always found that your dancing skills were amazing, and I wanted to ask you to be my partner in a competition. Now I'll have to find someone that can be at least two percent as good as you. Rest in peace, Carlos" Lonnie makes me smile like a complete idiot for hearing her adulating the little she saw of my dancing skills, and of course I could have said hell yeah to be her partner.

"I still remember the first day we talked, and it's still in my memory the face you did when you ate the strawberries even when you hated them. That made me to like you more, you were willing to do anything to make people happy, and it's a shame you couldn't get the same, and… and…" Ally can't keep going with her words since she starts crying, loud, and it scares a few people until Lonnie helps her to walk away while she cries on her shoulder.

"You had a unique sense of style, Evie helped you but still you had awesome ideas, and if in another life some part of our personalities crash together again then we have to take that time and make it the best of our lives, we'll produce things that will put the world upside-down and they will remember us forever" Jordan says, completely sure about that other life thing.

"Jay's a complete idiot, and a coward now that he escaped from me, but this is for you. We chose good and these decisions that we're taking aren't the best, so I hope wherever you are you can deal with them better. I'll miss you every single day little bro, and I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me" Mal seems at the verge of tears, again, one of the many unthinkable things about her.

"Carlos, honey, you had us to help you out, Mal and I could have been a guide when you were in need, this was your choice because you were surrounded by many things happening at once, and I know when someone reaches their breaking point they don't think wisely. Anyway, I know you're an angel now and you'll look out for us, even for him. Best friends forever, we'll see each other in another life" Evie almost makes me feel something real, like if they were very focused on thinking how to stand against Jay first and then they both say things to make my heart to beat faster, if it ever beat at least.

And finally the last one, the new girl from the Isle.

"Meet me in my dorm at midnight or whenever you want to, we have a lot to talk about, now go and tell me all the details starting from where he went and what he did" I turn my head when Freddie's voice makes from this a completely different situation, because she makes me feel something, and when I do that she just turns her head, stares straight at my eyes and widens the tiniest smile in the world, "because, if you still don't get it or believe it yeah, I can see you" she whispers so low that no one seem distracted for those last but important words.

Freddie can see me. What she made me feel was anxiety.

Is that a good thing, a bad thing, or should I already be scared to death…? Not caring about it a do what she said, I follow him.

* * *

It's easy following Jay when he's pissed off, you just have to follow the track of destruction he leaves behind him. Since he can't destroy windows, burn trashcans or punch the hell out of people that stares at him for more than one second I just have to follow the people talking about 'the furious guy that yelled at my face and went running' until, ironically, I find him in the gym.

He's punching the sandbag with his bare hands, the sleeves of his jacket are ripped off and the veins in his arms protrude out like never before, even more than the times when I used to spend my time here with rather than been in the dorm with Dude or with a book in my hands because he always lifted the weighs more times when I was here, he ran faster in the treadmill and punched the sandbag harder, just like he's doing it right now.

I approach a little and sit in the stool from one of the exercise equipment to stare at him, just plainly stare while he lets all his emotions out with his hands and the sandbag. I sigh since this is a great scene, totally a great one, and still I don't seem able to feel something about it.

Is it because of the potions? Is it because of me not having some brain cortex that produces alterations in my brain chemicals? Is it because I stopped feeling what I felt for him?

Questions, questions. Where are the answers now that I need them?

"I'm not useless" he says, giving a hook at the bag. I suppose he's imagining one of the persons that said that to him, but there were so many that it was difficult to count them down.

However I laugh because I never thought that a crowd of mean comments will be enough for him to run like if he were chased down by a tiger, and he's usually the kind of guy that takes the head of the tiger as a trophy for his guts.

"I'm not useless, I'm not a thief, I'm not a douchebag nor man-whore or a jerk as they said" he huffs and gives another hook to it, this time it pushes the sandbag upper, "I'm not anything of that, I'm Jay, son of Jafar, and I come from the Isle, I'm amazing in what I do and the best in it, no one can beat me in anything physical. I'm not useless, I'm amazing. I'm not useless, I'm amazing".

He throws punch after punch and sometimes he kicks it too, until now I realize his bare foot, and grumbles under his breath all the good attributes he posses, or at least the ones he thinks he posses.

"No, you're not, you're anything and all of it at the same time, deep down you know it and still you want to make it unreal" I say, knowing I'm soliloquizing even when he's just about four steps away from me.

The small, red spots that are forming with every three punches are beginning to grow slowly, the red traces that are going down from his hands doesn't seem to get his attention. He stops there only to make circles with both wrists and he hisses softly, then he strikes his fists again to take out his fury, now a little slower and yet stronger.

«Fury, sadness, helplessness, despair, fear? What the hell is he trying to vent out?», I ask to myself when he stops again, holding the sandbag with both hands, the traces are running down his arms and the flesh in his knuckles is so red that it looks like with another ten punches the bone will be seen.

I see his breathing, his broad back going up and down while he catches his breath, but then it starts to move faster, he clings to the canvas of the bag and slow, painfully slow, he gets down on his knees until his forehead is placed against the base of the bag. Just to make sure of it's really happening I get up and rush to sit in front of him.

His cheeks are red, not pink like when he rarely blushes, red like when you have an itch to scratch or when you hit yourself hard against something, his eyes are surrounded with red too, his whole face is red, I guess it could be hot to the touch, his frown and the way in which the veins in his forehead pop out for the way he clenches his jaw tells me everything; he's hurt, destroyed from the inside, devastated for what happened. I hurt him too.

All his life he has been running away from those words, and from some new ones; he has done his best to don't be weak in the least, to be wise and able to react in any situation, to be attractive to get his errands done, to be competitive, to be strong, to be all he thinks he is.

But he forgot to build strong walls in his emotions, even stronger than the ones he already has. Right now he seems like a little boy that cries in his bedroom for all the bullying he got in a common day outside, he didn't trained himself to tolerate the mean comments, the glares, and even failing just a bit is enough to upset him.

The whole point is that one thing comes to my mind while I watch him trying to catch his breath: I'm an idiot too. What happened wasn't meant to happen, but it did, and since I can't turn back time to think about the consequences for a minute I left him to face them all, alone; to be the one to blame though he's actually guilty, but maybe not that much after all.

I'm everything and nothing for his destruction, I'm a variable never considered that could make so much damage in a single day. I'm ambivalent to what's going on, I'm still here but not there for anyone, he hurt me at the same time I'm hurting him with my unconscious choice, I'm the trigger of a long-time friendship that got destroyed in front of Auradon, I'm a victim at the same time I'm a victimizer. He's the shadow in my lights, I'm the rain in his parade, he's the red for my green, I'm the fire for his ice.

Jay finally gets up and walks out the gym, still bare foot. Outside the cold air of the evening makes the strands of hair that are still long to move at its mercy. He surrounds the little building and places his back against a wall, he slides back down and lets his legs stretched. I sit next to him, my right supposedly pressed against his left while he hits his nape in the concrete.

He lets out another shaky sigh and something like a shriek while he looks up. He face is broken since he's crying, I'll have to write down the date because this is something that will never happen again. He looks at the sky while the tears are slowly but surely rolling down his soft cheeks, they fall in the remains of his jacket while the gasps and the sobs make me see the sensitive side of him, the biggest of his walls is finally down.

He's letting himself to experience a forbidden emotion, sadness, another one of them besides love, he lets it to take control over him since he pulls his legs closer to his chest, his elbows are on his knees, and his thumbs are trying to wipe off the salty water coming out from his obsidian eyes.

I follow his firm gaze and look up, noticing that he's staring at that star, the little one that shines next to Orion, the star he always looks at night before bedtime and when he doesn't want to do his homework at an early hour. He tries to open his mouth but the only things coming out are more sobs, wails, and occasional rudeness's against him.

"I-I'm sorry…" he says, gasping to fill his lungs with oxygen. I pull my knees to my chest too, resting my chin over them. "I'm sorry I'm a disappointment, I try and try but everything I do is wrong, all my choices are wrong and you know it better than anyone in here… even more than he did…".

For a moment I thought he was talking to me, I almost could swear he was, but he's talking to the star, he's letting it hear some of the things in his mind, the kind of things that he hates to think of.

"We both know a tiny part of me wanted to do that, I admit it aloud now, but it was so wrong in the next second that it was too late to turn back" he closes his eyes and pulls his hands together, resting the forehead in the thumbs.

The tears doesn't seem to stop anytime soon, they keep coming down every second, and a part of this tells me that it's not because of me completely. He's also letting many other repressed things out, he just needed a way to let all out. I don't know what I would be feeling if I could.

"P-please, dumb star, p-please, right now I o-only have one wish: b-bring him back" he looks up to it again, saying the words with so much hope in his voice it's unbelievable. No one could ever believe me if a told them that Jay was crying, nor the fact he asks wishes to the stars. "Please, please, please, please, I just want that, so use that magic of yours and bring him back, please…".

He slides his hand in the inner pocket of his jacket and from it he pulls out the papers I wrote, stained with ink and wrinkled for the dried water. He unfolds them and I didn't knew I wrote all of that, many words that right now I'll be able to read again since I don't remember them exactly.

"Okay, okay, h-here we go" he sniffles and starts reading, I do it with him, placing my head on his shoulder only to see the words better.

 _Jay,_

 _Do you remember that back on the Isle we heard over and almost a thousand times that story so trite, bland, repetitive, boring and highly stupid about that thing of finding a person? You know, that one that's the purest expression of our dreams, wishes and desires, that with who you want to settle down and with who, supposedly, you look forward to spend a lifetime next to until you are only a few dust particles scattered around. Do you remember it? Good, because I remember it too, and now I hate it._

 _If I'm honest with you, something I tried to do at all times, seems like it was yesterday when everything was going as we wanted it, it was yesterday when we could say it was the time of our lives, it was yesterday when we think of being the lovers the world needed, though that's more mine than yours, you don't know what is that. It was in that yesterday… stupid yesterday…_

 _And now all that, all those vain delusions, all which I tended to romanticize as 'that, my future and the ideal end; us, you and me against everything the world wants to stand in our way to prevent us to be together', all that ended so badly that the most crushing and accurate blow would have been very similar to the slight caress of the wind, is perceived only if you try to put the proper attention._

 _Jay, with the simple fact of looking into your dark eyes it seemed enough for me to think I had found a paradise, the world became superfluous and it froze for having you close. One of your cocky smiles lit up my grayest day, a simple touch or some slight pressure of skin against skin was enough to defying gravity to be a task as simple as being attracted for it._

 _Who would think that for you being a master of lies you would end up being someone so abhorrent to me! Like strawberries! I hate strawberries!_

 _According to those stories of dumb princesses and idiot princes their ideal and planned are something so simple that is just stupid not abide it: more or less all that relates that you both should be each next to other in good times and bad times, try to build the mutual dream during long talks (for me that happened in those days when we could be together from dawn to dusk, you enjoying a cup of coffee and me a mug of hot chocolate before the occasional brushes of lips between each seemingly longest sip), while it's also supposed you have to enjoy of a few minutes or a few hours to convert two individual persons in an us. According to all those legends, because that's what they should be and nothing more, legends, you must be the missing part to the other, the complement of that other life…_

 _Truth is I wish we had never fit together in such a sublime way._

 _You let me go wherever you went, for it to have been a pointless trip?! Ha! Just now it seems the funniest joke that it might happen to the person with more of a spark in the humor!_

 _You let me see you in those sporadic moments where you were crestfallen when you never allowed it to anyone, and what did you do it? Fake emotions of a fake person, fake sensations; fake feelings._

 _However you opened up and let me look into that thing to what people here often calls as 'the heart', that place where gets encapsulated an endless stream of sensations that in your case were never something so spectacular or credited to be referred as an aspect that can be devastating or prevailing._

 _We learned in the hard way that neither of us, nor no one on the Isle, should seem to find attractive the idea of liking_ _someone, heart someone; love someone to make it more simple, and in the jargon used here._

 _In my case I rather liked to see and experience the world from my big fatalistic cloud, thinking that no one, ever, at any point in their lives, would come to notice me, to think of myself as someone important, different from the rest; a someone. Those were the thoughts that made me forget all about the spontaneous friendship that emerged between us, that led us to spend pretty much of our time, and our lives, in each other's company, from there it went to the unilateral attraction, the one I thought it was unilateral, and in the end it lead to being down the watchtower, close enough that our breaths were crossed and all that to what I feared so much to become in a reality with a first kiss, the typical first kiss that brings in the most vivid way all that wants to stay silent, internalized in the privacy of their own ideas. Who doesn't like living in the safety of their head?_

 _The memories of those great moments we spent together are now a little fuzzy in my head, the words of affection we whispered at each other a few times along the day are echoic, like if they weren't real, like if they were mere dreams. 'I heart you', 'I adore you', 'my person', 'say what you have to say', 'hug me', 'please'; those and other words that used to embellish me and sweeten my ears, they made me envious for seeing the movement of your lips but not feeling it against mine._

 _Now they have that hollow sound, the agonizing martyrdom of that sound every time those words resound in my head right now that I don't even know in which day I'm living in while I imagine the husky tone of your voice it's killing me._

 _The potions, yeah, that, the magic seems to be acting as a defense mechanism for that to try to be forgotten… and… unfortunately, a small part is and will continue being there in my memory._

 _You don't know how much I wish you can't sleep, eat or breathe for what you did._

 _I want to be present as the air you breathe yet be absent, like the weird expressions of affection in all the time we wasted together._

 _I would like you to resort to me when your world is falling apart, but I hope now being one of the reasons why you're sinking. But you're clever, I almost forget that you have a heavenly gift to escape from things, and if you do I'm highly confident that someone will try to destroy you; I no longer of course, even if all this seems to say that I live from you, like a damn leech._

 _I heart you? Yeah, of course I do, it's something that I said with all the sincerity and affection that was in me at the time._

 _I hate you? I do too, and now those two feelings have the same intensity I don't know which one would be controlling me._

 _But, can I tell you something? It turns out to be a strange and weird combination; at first we were meant for each other, somehow, and now we're like oil and water into the container of the new life in Auradon; it's impossible for us to be together._

 _You made me stronger, durable and elusive to all your charms. Thanks, Jay._

 _I'll be a little shorter, if all this were a scale then both know that it would have extra weight on one side. Are you clever, attractive and intelligent enough to guess in which one after all this, or you need that the stupid decisions you usually take turn back to make everything to get destroyed so that something like what you have in your hands come back to appear in your face?_

 _Yours sincerely (no really, but it's by formality), Carlos 'baby boy' de Vil._

Along the reading he was laughing at times, in others he frowned, but most of it the tears were going on and on, the deep gasps and how he becomes smaller in his place is a reflect of how words can even beat him to death more than physical violence.

Those potions did some good, they made me to say accurate things, and of course things that by being blinded for forbidden feelings I'd never be able to say out loud.

"Y-you're r-right" he mumbles between gasps, he hiccups to get more air. Jeez, this is really going out of my immaterial hands; I love it, so much that I'm smiling though I don't feel happiness or joy in this state. "Y-you're so right and I'm sorry, I'm t-terribly sorry. You were the g-good boyfriend between us, you were always l-loving and caring even w-when what I did when you got closer w-was to push you aside s-sometimes and flirt w-with girls most of the time".

I look up and the sky is getting quickly cloudy, the strong wind blowing is warning people to find shelter because this new storm threats to be as wild as the one from yesterday. Yesterday, yesterday.

"Don't bring me back, don't you dare to bring me back" I keep watching at his star while saying so, turning my hands into fists to make my wish stronger. "Jay's getting a spoonful of his own medicine, he deserves this and more. Don't bring me back, and anyway you just can't, you're only a ball of gas burning at thousands of miles from here, so asking things as money, love, or revenge at you is as useful than seeding money in the ground, being a magic realm or not".

The rain starts with great intensity, in seconds his hair is damp and his clothes are getting the same treat. The drops are making his tears hard to difference, but I can see them sliding down the corners of his puffy eyes.

I smile again and get up, feeling like if I had a tingle in my stomach, not for some cheesy feeling, this time because I can see that doing something that makes other people sad is way more entertaining and nicer that acting in silence, only limit myself to listen and follow orders.

I guess now I understand why being evil is good for people on the Isle, why mom feels good when she does that with animals, it's refreshing an it gives you a warm feeling in the chest, but this time it only limits to the tingling.

Mom got a notification at night saying that 'in the most horrible accident that ever happened in Auradon, the magic land, Carlos found a terrible destiny and he died in an unexpected way'. How subtle. They hadn't got an answer yet, but if she hates me as much as I think she does for me taking her stuffed thing then they'll never get it.

She doesn't love me, she had me only because dad wanted it so, and since he's also gone then maybe she will feel sad since she'll have to make all the house chores: she'll have to do her hair, wash her clothes, brush her coats, clean the house at morning and at sundown, take garbage out, prepare her bath, eat cold and stale food.

I'm free, I'm finally free from her.

I get up when he bores me, he just curls up in a ball and rocks, whispering how sorry he is for what he did, how stupid he were, and, in a table turn, how he will find a way to make Auradon happy, to beg for the girls forgiveness.

"I'm sorry what I did Carlos!" he gets my attention back since I was about to start walking, he lifts his head up and screams his lungs out. "I love you, baby boy! I'm sorry what I did and I know you'll never be able to forgive me if you come back! I love you, I miss you, I want you back! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".

I think those were a little of the things he wanted to say to me in the castle, but now I start walking.

It's time to give Freddie a visit, I'm kind of tired of this bullshit, and I'm sure that she'll be delighted to hear some of this.

* * *

I walk practically in all the hallways of the dorm section of the girls, I have no idea where on earth can be her door, and I'd really like to know what she has to say.

I mean, she can see me, and it's something obvious considering the kind of magic her family uses, but I didn't think his father had the ability to see spirits. Perhaps it's a talent she got from her mother, if I ever get to know her or if she comes to mention her. It wouldn't be the first time someone doesn't know a parent, the same goes for Jay, Mal and Evie, and now with her.

Before I give up and try again later I get to a dark hallway, darker than the others if I have in mind the gray clouds and rain falling outside. There are bulbs illuminating, however it seems like if the door were hidden inside an abnormal shadow.

Well, I agree that she hates the sun but anyway she knows how to follow the clichés to the letter.

I stretch my hand to knock on the door, which says Freddie Facilier on the plate, but I contract the hand since anything I touch can feel my touch. I look at my feet only for collating I still don't produce a shadow, and the small lapses in which I come to feel things have ceased since I entered the building.

The faces I saw in the castle have returned to their activities, they changed their clothes but still there continues to prevail the dark colors: blue, red, green, yellow, orange, pink, the full range of colors in dark tones, atypical for population accustomed to happy things.

My fault, and I regret nothing.

"Freddie, open the door. It's Carlos" I say, almost as an order, and wait a couple of seconds before I hear her footsteps on the other side. She opens the door with a single movement and that smile she's outlining disappears slowly, she looks over me, like if she were trying to look at someone places behind me.

"I'd swear I heard something" she rolls her eyes and closes the door with a whip, leaving me with my mouth open and with plenty to say.

She told me to come whenever I wanted, she said she could see me. She's a liar, another one from the ones that seem to abound now, and for having a thing to do with Jay I guess in their spare time they competed to see who was the best liar or something similar, I never stopped to ask him what they do, only a few things, and I appreciate that from the he haven't answered all of them.

I let out a loud snort and turn on my right flank, I just take a step when the door opens again, her hand places on my shoulder and with a little effort she manages to drag me into the dorm, closing the door behind me and standing against it, using the latch.

She just touched me! How the hell she could do so?!

"You'll see" she says while she walks, her raven hair falls in a long cascade that arrives a little below her waist, and it's weird seeing her without that little hat on her head, "since dad acquired many skills from the spirits I could inherit some, and I must admit the greatest ones because if I hadn't them I'm sure you'd still be walking aimlessly around here".

I stand there while she walks from one side to another, the purple nightgown I guess she uses to sleep follows her path, though it's early to sleep. Perhaps it's only comfortable clothes, or maybe she's not planning to get out here until tomorrow morning, anyway she has food since the use of her magic requires constant expenditure of energy, that in words from Evie.

That's an advantage of Mal over Freddie, Mal can use her magic without resting or nourishment to try it again. But Freddie is powerful by using only the snap of her fingers or some hand movements to cast magic, Mal needs long and funny spells.

"Why you didn't knock on the door first? I mean, we're now in a civilized world, filled with goodie-goodies but civilized, and civilized people knock on the door".

"No one perceives my touch, I tried with Fairy Godmother and she didn't even flinch a little" I sigh since it's a bit sad being everything and nothing. Ambivalent, I mustn't forget it.

"And at least you tried it?" finally she stops and walks over to me, she reaches out and I do the same, giving her my right. She caress the back while she looks into my eyes, I still feel something.

"No, if I couldn't touch Fairy Godmother's shoulder and now I don't feel the touch of your hand I don't understand why…".

Before I can finish she uses the left hand, that I hadn't noticed she had behind her back, to stab my hand with a sharp letter opener. By reflex and instinctive act I have to scream, the next second I notice that there is no blood, no pain, no nothing, just the letter opener through my hand without producing some kind of deep wound that requires immediate medical attention.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!".

"Does it hurt?" she pulls out the knife reluctantly and throws it over her shoulder, it twirls in the air to get embedded in the wall behind her, more precisely in the target for darts pinned to one side of a creepy black mask.

"Of course not, but that doesn't mean you can go stabbing people just because you place".

"Auradon is turning you so weak that I want to beat you all, to you more than anyone for not noticing the change that occurred with you".

I guess my puzzled expression is too big and notorious since she growls, frustrated, she collapses on a small black couch and points to the couch for two people she has on the other side of a small table.

"Sit down, I told you, we have a lot to discuss" I obey because I don't want any other sharp object trying to kill me, though she couldn't get it even with her best try. "So, the first thing I wanted to ask is…".

"Why can you see me?" I interrupt her since I prefer to be the one carrying the questioning.

"I told you, dad's heritage" each time she mentions him she seems happier with her genes, but deep down I know she never liked to live in his shadow.

"But I died, that doesn't make much sense".

"Oh, you're not dead, not completely".

I look at her for a few long seconds, she looks at the nails of the right hand in all possible angles before she moves to the left, then she stretches one to take a couple of sweet macaroons that are within a glass container, which resembles to a skull, on the table between us, the one I guess she placed there to hide the pentagram on the floor. I don't know from whom she would hide it but she did.

I'm not dead completely? What is that supposed to mean?

"You really need to be more careful when you think you're talking in your mind, one of these days it will bring trouble and I hope to be there to laugh a little" she speaks with the macaroon still in her mouth, some pieces manage to jump up to me but it's the least I care now.

"I've just caused a huge problem, you can laugh at that".

"I already did, and laughing from a repeated joke doesn't have the same fun" she cleans her lips with her hand and smiles to me, a fake smile that manages to become true since it tightens her eyes.

"Would you mind explaining?" I shrug my shoulders a little.

"Since I have no other choice…" she lets her head fall back and contemplates the ceiling, swinging her right leg over the armrest of the small couch. "I will not explain you how the underworld works 'cause truth is I don't know it either, from what little I do know is that when a person dies in a pleasurable way it just goes away, or it stays for its decision, it doesn't go to heaven as sappy people here think since nothing like that exists" I allow me a smile for thinking about the possibility, but I still don't feel the joy, "when someone dies in an aggressive way it stays, but it's just someone who goes around aimlessly, complaining about what happened to it and hating all the world".

"I don't understand the point of this whole story".

"Shut up, I'm on it" she rolls her eyes and runs her hands over her face, her gesture of frustration. I don't know who she reminds me when she does that…. "In short, to don't make it long the common with them is the detachment of a halo of whitish light, but in your case, you big clumsy boy, the halo that emerges from you is yellowish, like the barrier of the Isle, which means there was magic involved, and that's what I wanted to discuss with you. What the hell did you do?".

It's too much information to swallow, so much that I stay quiet and it's like if I felt my throat compressed, or it's something that I should feel, but perhaps also some migraine since I didn't understand at the first attempt an explanation, which is very frustrating.

It's assumed that I died in an aggressive way, unpleasant to sound cute, and if so then I should have whitish light to complain about what happened, but there was magic involved. That turns me into what?

I look up and she doesn't seem to notice my thinking, this time I kept it to myself.

"N-no… I'm not pretty sure…" I say, remembering yesterday like if it had been a simple nightmare, one of the abundant and in which Jay isn't there to hug me, to protect me from it. "Jay told me he had sex with a girl and everything inside me seemed to come crashing down".

"As I said, weak".

"Shut up, it's my turn to speak" she rolls her eyes at the same time she smiles just enough to piss me off and make me want to get out of here. "I fled the dorm and slipped in Fairy Godmother's office, I used her computer to open her collection of potions, I drank them all before opening the window and… well, you know the rest of what happened" I miss some parts but in some way that's all that happened, Freddie nods slowly and for a moment everything is quiet, then she moves in the couch.

She settles like an ordinary person in furniture that was meant for you to sit at, the genuine interest in what I just said is shining in her eyes, although I'm not sure if it does for confirming her theory about magic or if she have thought in some way to get the information to get access to the magic, anyway she still has to approve Remedial Goodness 101.

"Potions?" I nod, slowly. "What kind of potions?".

"Freddie, I had too much on my mind, the last thing I noticed consciously was the moment before leaving the dorm".

"Think, Carlos, think about some of those potions".

She snaps her right fingers for three books, surprisingly thick, to appear and get stacked on the small table, the weight doesn't seem to be kind to the wood since I hear it creaking under the strain.

I give her time to locate the appropriate section in each one, although I don't think many books have the section 'Fairy Godmother's magic turned down into abundant potions' printed on them, or handwritten. She has a handwritten book, what kind of millennium a family decided to get born for them to preserve such antiques like that?

They're invaluable, I'm sure that Jay could sell them at a price that not even he can imagine.

And there I go for thinking about him again.

I'd be lying if I wasn't wondering what's he doing right now, if he's still outside the gym or if he took his cloud of hatred against himself elsewhere, and it even comes to me the idea that he's pleading Mal and Evie for forgiveness.

I also think of them, in the way Evie managed to reassure her rather than Ben, and in the long conversation Mal will have with Fairy Godmother for using her magic in a negative way. They will not send her to the Isle, that's for sure.

"Earth to the dead one, did you think in the potions?" she pulls me out of my thoughts, and listening her referring to me as 'the dead one' makes me wanting to get out of here more.

"Ugh, I don't remember them all, just some".

"Say them and period, that's all I need" we both roll our eyes. Maybe we're not so different after all, we have the same guy in common.

"Uh, damn, I don't know, Anhedonia? Fury? I don't remember it at all".

"Go on, none of that is useful to me" she passes page after page in the books and indeed none seem to be enough.

"Hmmm, there was one called Health Potion, Luck was another one, Splitting was one of the strangest and…".

"That, Splitting. Do you remember what it was like, color, flavor, something?" she takes book after another until she seems to find common ground on them, then she looks at me, and if she tries to deny the excitement in her eyes is hard to hide.

"It was… gray, the liquid was gray, thick, the taste was bittersweet but the bitter was the highlighted. It had a note on the back but I didn't bother to read it".

She stops looking at me and makes a quick read to at least twenty pages per book. Given that I have nothing better to do I dedicate myself to walk around her dorm, watching some objects that seem older than the magic itself, other things that probably were used in voodoo ceremonies, and the black dress she wore at the funeral is in a trash can.

I take a crucifix made with sticks of a tree, they're tied together with a yellow ribbon with an inscription in French to the front, I distinguish it by the use of X's between vowels. I know I shouldn't touch anything that's in here, some kind of curse or demon had to pour its magic on them so that they're cursed, to be deadly for those who know nothing about black magic.

I'm dead, who cares.

"I have good news for you, clumsy boy. I can make you breathe again" the crucifix falls from my left hand and my right slides on the surface of the shelf, knocking down a pair of glass containers. The wimps of whatever that was inside are audible as it vanishes into the air. "Great, now I have to go to a cemetery to look out for another miniature devil, and they're rare".

"Forget about your miniature demon for a second, what's that of you making me breathe again?" she gets up from the couch and walks towards me.

"I told you that you weren't dead completely, that potion serves to divide a person, it was used as a method of protection in the ancient warfare for kings and princes" I make an expression that says 'keep going with your story' because now I find this very interesting. "The idea is that the physical fraction gets divided from a small fraction of the soul, the physical fraction can be hurt or destroyed but the small fraction of the soul that slouches is used so that, with a spell, it can be used to bring it back to life".

I lift the crucifix and set it in its place, I move up to a wall and place my back on it to give me a little more support. I can… I can come back…

"That's why you keep your memories, for that the yellowish glowing, you're something like energy that's ready to return to the physical body, you just need me to use some of my magic besides me having a very long talk with the spirits so the resurrection gets easier and…".

"I don't wanna come back" she sounded so immersed in her speech that when she hears that she almost seems wanting to hit more than before. "Jay's getting his due, it's something that will not happen again in a very long time, he needs some confrontation so that everything he hears can have the expected effect on him, if he really wants a real change in his life".

"And the others who wept for you? What's going on with them?".

"They're simple collateral damages, thing here is I don't wanna come back".

We exchange a look, a silent struggle between two ideals, but I don't really understand if she's in the position of being 'the good one' in this and bring me back. If I'm not here she could try something with Jay again, or she could go on like the soulless girl she tends to be and rub it on his face until she gets him nuts enough to forget that she's a lady and confronts her with punches.

She's the one who breaks the eye contact, she lets her shoulders heavily down and walks closer to collect the ravages of what I did, she mumbles a few insults while she moves here and there picking glass shards, spells written into small pieces of paper, and bottling again some blue flames that were hidden under the shelf next to me.

"But…" she makes a small movement with her head, making note that she's listening me, "if I want to come back, what I should do?".

"Come to me, that's obvious" she lifts her arms, emphasizing the obviousness, "but if you want to do so it should be soon, the energy that keeps you in here gets spent, so you have up to one month to decide what you want, if you want to come back or if you're really ready to die completely. You should think about it".

One month.

Hundreds, thousands of things can change in such a short time because it's easy to say but living those days is something completely different. In a month Jay could find someone else, the girls could forgive him, all things that I did can might be forgotten and life could continue its uninterrupted course.

Decisions, decisions.

"I-I'll think about it" I hesitate, thinking about something that I really would like to do while I finally think of the repercussions of my actions. "Can y-you also…?".

"Can I also… what?" she raises both eyebrows, inviting me to continue with my idea. The hell with it, it sounds fun.

"Can you make him see me? Jay, I mean him. Can you make him see me?".

She finishes settling her stuff in their respective places, she smoothes her nightgown and gives me a look that I know very well, is the look that I used to share with Mal, Evie and Jay before starting one of the bright plans Mal to prove our parents that we could also be as evil as them.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asks, raising an eyebrow and with that malicious tone in her voice. I know what she's thinking, and strictly speaking is not what I want to do, but a bit of fun to all this would do no harm.

"A couple of pranks wouldn't be bad, don't you think?".

She smiles with more satisfaction and takes one of the many books that are in a shelf beside her bed, one out of seven, and they all have books. I don't think she had taken them from the library, there would suspicions and searches everywhere, so they must be from the private collection of his father, a collection whose location is only known for the Faciliers, and it's not like if there were many loose after Beast shutting everyone on the Isle.

I also don't doubt that there is some kind of spell on this place so, for the eyes of those in which you can't trust, understood by that the eyes of the inhabitants of Auradon for being a huge group of informers, her bedroom looks like any other, with a single bed, a couple of furniture and a desk, not a den for the development of any new evil plan.

She passes page after page of the book whose paper is yellow and it gives off dust particles, besides the pages look so old that with a little force they could be ripped. She signs a spell in particular, moving away to take some ingredients and a mortar while I glance at it.

It's about something simple, the result looks like glitter but according to the books it allows the mortals to see spirits for the period of time that the creator of the magic decides, and if Freddie is the kind of person who takes what you say to give it a completely different meaning then I can't imagine what Jay is about to face, and I'll be part of it.

"So? Did you find your beloved somewhere?" she asks while she crushes some things in the mortar and pronounces things in a language I don't understand, it sounds a little Latin but I don't think all the words have been written by humans.

"Yeah, I found him in the gym, he read a couple of notes I left written for him and he burst into tears".

"No way! You should have record him or something like that!" she laughs, the sound is so sincere that I can't stop for joining her, and gradually the soft laugh becomes into laughter. I needed something like this, I needed something that bring me back the ability to feel, though I'm laughing about him.

It's not something so bad.

Given that Freddie is too focused on her task with the spell I decide lean back in the couch, I entwine my hands over my chest in the way my body was in the coffin. I don't know where I was buried, but I think it's difficult to guess, Auradon doesn't seem the place where cemeteries abound.

"Did he tell you that I broke up with him because he had feelings for you?" I was about to close my eyes when those words completely took away my fatigue of the day. I swallow hard since this is new.

"No, he never said it".

"It's something quite funny, and stupid if I think of it. It all started…".

I don't pay much attention since I sink into my thoughts, I have in mind that if I needed a real reason to come back then Freddie is giving me so, she's telling me that Jay changed her for me, the reason why everything between them got done it's me.

That's a double-edged weapon: it makes me feel like someone for whom he felt something for a long time, but it also tells me that he is the kind of person who changes his likes or feelings in a blink.

I retake my position while I close my eyes and hear her words, also thinking in whatever with which I can pay her since she never does anything for free, she always have to receive a small remuneration for her evil deeds.

Decisions, decisions.

What to do…

What to do…


	11. I'm back

I don't understand why the chapters in this fic are so long, I tend to write them short ._. If anyone has any explanation I'd like to hear, in the meantime… next chapter! Fav, follow or review, enjoy it :)

(And just to mention, I'm back at school for my senior year, so the updates will be slower than usual, but I hope not that much :v )

* * *

 **I'm back**

Waiting is _completely_ boring, and it's worse since the only hindrance in that waiting is me.

Day after day I spend them in an ongoing wandering from one classroom to another, kind of paying attention to the class, to don't have so much to keep up with if I decide to come back, and I have to wait for the entire duration of the class since I can't open the door by myself, and I can't go through them either.

In the hallways I have to listen to those conversations that occasionally have sporadic mentions of me, for stranger as it may seem, besides the endless bunch of insults settled against Jay, most of them arguing that he's an idiot and all those things that have been already said, although less than a quarter of those who speak of it know the background of the whole situation.

And Jay is another thing that I see occasionally walking with rushed step down the hallways to avoid those who mumble when he walks by, at the height of his frustration when he doesn't understand the simplest algebraic problems in the world, when he flees to spend the rest of day in the dorm lying on his bed, holding a pillow, and whispering about a million times that all of this was his fault. And he's right completely. I don't blame him, words are hurtful, but he has those words well deserved.

Since we concur in the bedroom, because I don't like to spend all night outside, also that I discovered that no matter how long I close my eyes the sleepiness is never going to come, neither it's like if I had somewhere else to go when the night falls.

Being both of us together in the same space but that he doesn't have the slightest idea that I'm hanging around is strange, it alters a bit the usual routine of sharing the same space that we used to have. I usually stay in my bed while he walks with books in his hand, with his phone while he answers the messages of hate and the few inquiries he receives about school work, when he comes out fresh from the shower and gets dressed (a thing which no longer will surprise me from now on will be seeing him without something on), and when he curls up into a ball in his bed to sleep, drowned in wails, tears against which he struggles to not come out, and the force with which he holds my jackets or some other of my clothes. He likes to smell them, every time he does he lets out a sigh and more tears come out.

Among his nightmares and nights in which he can't get to sleep he says how much he misses me, each and every one of the mistakes he made since we got here, bla, bla, bla, all that I already know.

The difference is that what he says is repetitive, but what he draws and writes in that so protected notebook is different. On the night of my funeral he did the exact picture of me in the coffin, he reflected the faces of sadness of those who really felt it, including there all of our group of friends and Fairy Godmother, he made a couple of strokes I didn't understand about strange ideas in his head. The strangest of them all was one where he drew the top of my body nude and with a pair of wings full of feathers popping out of my back.

In the things written as inscriptions on the bottom of some drawings, the ones I read with him while we were lying on the floor, there were questions and some dedications, but questions abounded. Is this soon, admitting that I'm in love with him so fast? Do I deserve someone like Carlos? Why would someone as sweet as Carlos had such a fucked up life? Are we meant for each other? Will he had thought about me before he died?

A page was filled with a simple question: Why him?

I flex and stretch my exposed toes, noticing the excess of free time I have now. The warning month from Freddie ends tonight, a whole new month, and the way in which I want to conclude it doesn't seem to be the most appropriate to me. Making pranks isn't something I enjoy doing very much, that's a thing for Mal and Jay, for Evie sometimes but when the certain look of Mal forces her.

Evie…

Evie is like me, somehow. Yeah, she had clear that her goal here was to get a prince, a big castle, and lots of mirrors, but when she saw it wasn't going to come out as she expected she focused herself on something else, she discovered her smart side, the one that competes against mine, and if I'm narcissistic enough on it my intellect is very elevated. Although not that much if I found a fateful destiny in such a stupid and unoriginal way.

Hurray for me, even to make plans I'm the worst.

Although… I never had a plan itself, it wasn't something that I had discussed with mom before leaving the Isle, except for her selfishness to bring home a puppy; I didn't have a purpose to get out from there. Unlike Mal, Evie and Jay I have no outstanding features or something that is useful, nothing characteristic except the fact of being the son of a villain.

What was Ben thinking for bring me out from the Isle? One more unanswered enigma, another one to the long list.

"Alright, loser, you ready?" I lift my gaze to the left, Freddie stands there next to me and smiles. I do the same thing for an obligation

The glint in her bright eyes tells me that she would be ready to light the whole castle on fire, and I'm still wondering why she hasn't done it yet. In her right hand she has Jay's helmet, on the left a small beaker with the spell turned into glitter, a lilac glow emanates from it.

She's still upset for me making her to wait so long to use it, but it occurred to me that nothing would be more fun than seeing him losing his head in the friendly game of tourney from this afternoon.

"Seeing someone lose his head in public is more fun than if no one is looking, isn't it?" I get up and look at her arching my right eyebrow, I can say that she's surprised of me talking in that way.

She knows that a part of me struggles to carry out this prank, but if she's not willing to make a charge if I decide to come back then it's better to abuse from it. In addition she hasn't approved Remedial Goodness yet, I'm giving her a chance to let off steam before she's subjected to such torture.

"I suppose you're right" she moves her head so that the two long ponytails on the sides of her head are placed behind her back.

"Why are you putting the spell on his helmet?" we walk towards the locker room, the guys on the team come out to do a couple of stretches before getting into action.

"It would be very suspicious blowing the spell straight on his funny face, it's better it falling slowly from the helmet while he sweats in that filthy way of his".

I roll my eyes and walk at her side, something I don't usually do, but given that this isn't my usual group of friends I have nowhere else to walk.

The bleachers start to slowly get filled with locals and visitors, the fans of the rival school are somewhat livelier than the one present in the championship. They wave long flags of red, blue and white colors, almost all of them have facial paint over, and the members of their band are now beginning to sing their signature anthem.

I die craving to see Jane in her pet costume, trying to dance and everything she usually does in her attempt to be the center of attention for once in her life when the most important thing is happening in the field, behind her.

I shouldn't think in that way, she's my friend after all. But that's the truth, so I don't retract it completely.

"Hello, boys" Freddie greets with spirits, arching her eyebrow a little while she purrs and approaches to Ben, "King Obvious, and everyone else".

"Uh, hi" Ben responds on behalf of all the guys present, three-quarters of the team. The most valuable player is missing. "You come to encourage game?".

"That and because I have to abide that notice of not spending the rest of the day in my dorm since that" she raises her free hand to make quotes: "interferes with my dynamic to interact with people from school".

A couple of guys behind Ben laugh, and he also smiles a little, Freddie's glares at all of them and makes them to go back to what they were doing, some tying their shoelaces, others planning a couple of impromptu game tactics, and even some brave ones continue admiring her in all of her glory.

I have to admit it, Freddie is very pretty although she's not my type, and I don't have a type of girl. The olive tone of her skin contrasts fine with the maroon, carmine and purple colors of her clothes, the white lines on her face highlight her eyes, and even the little hat makes her a little more elegant.

I understand the look of surprise of some, the embellishment of others, and the look of distrust that Chad's throwing in her direction while he walks on the field, but no matter what Freddie's still smiling.

"Besides I have to give this to Jay" she lifts his helmet and Ben frowns slightly. I also find it weird, helmets and pads don't come out of the locker room due to the meticulous grooming they must get and all that stuff, but Ben's not the questioning kind of guy, "he forgot it yesterday while we were studying in the library".

"Oh, I understand. He's still in there, he usually is the last one to come out before the game, I think he does that to focus in it".

"He does that to admire himself a little more in the mirror while he's wearing the uniform, he does the same thing in the dorm" I mutter, and if I had sensitivity surely I would have felt the heel of her shoe while it crushes my left foot.

"Alright, thanks!" Freddie pinches his cheek and walks beside him, I follow her with a couple of steps away because I don't want to anger her if something else again comes out of my mouth without my permission.

"Uh, I don't think you should go in there…".

She completely ignores him and continues to walk with confident steps, going through a couple of short corridors to open wide the doors of the locker room, making the light of the evening to show her silhouette on the floor by the skylight. Mine doesn't appear, and I'm standing behind her.

The boys locker room is the only place where the practitioners from all the sports that Auradon Prep can offer gather together, here and in their respective game fields, as I suppose it happens in the girls locker room, the cheerleaders and all that, so it's not surprising to see guys walking around with towels tied around their waists, some half-dressed, and some others with a complete confidence in themselves to go wandering completely naked around here.

This time I don't lower my eyes when someone's nakedness crosses in front of my eyes, this time I don't take what's necessary to flee towards the dorm and take a shower in complete calm and carefree; no more anything like that, and right now is when I appreciate the lack of feelings. Besides I already saw Jay in the same way, it was enough preparation for this.

The most uncovered literally jump to hide at the points where they believe her visual field doesn't cover, those who are half dressed only place a T-shirt over their shoulders or a towel around their waist, and those who were about to leave only make it. Freddie widens the smile and walk in a straight line.

"What the heck is a girl doing in here?!".

"You pervert! Get out of here right now!".

"Hey, gorgeous, are you enjoying the show these boys are giving ya?".

With a slight movement of her hand the blue flames and the usual terrifying shadows are projected on the walls, they're dancing with euphoria, making that such questions and those that were about to be formulated to get silenced in the next instant. Everyone remains frozen by fear, by panic, by the uncertainty to whatever she can do for having pushed her like that, I notice it from the door frame before I start walking, and that makes me broaden a smile of unfeigned joy. In this case I hate don't feel.

Freddie's not upset, she doesn't feel challenged, she just wanted to set a point pretty much on her way: stay away from me or you'll relive your nightmares every time you close your eyes to blink. That's what I understood, and that gives me a lesson about not making something that can bother her enough to be dragged to the place from where comes out all the shadows, ghosts and those tiny demons she keeps trapped in jars.

"This is the kind of fun I needed" she says and spins, extending her arms and with the joy that an evil act can produce, until we both arrive to a bench, the one which is surrounded by a square of lockers.

Jay is sitting, he passes his tourney stick from one hand to the other, and keeps his eyes fixed on the floor. I exchange a look with Freddie, I guess she notices that something about seeing him that way makes me doubt of this plan since she rolls her eyes and without some kind of greeting she sits next to him, decentralizing him and making the stick to fall hopelessly down.

This was my idea, why I no longer want to carry it out?

"Thank you very much" he growls while snorting, he lets his shoulders fall but he doesn't lean to raise it.

"Anytime you please" Jay squints at her, she winks her right eye and he rolls his so then he shakes his head no slowly, growls once again and end up sinking his gaunt face in his hands.

The bags around his eyes are darker than usual, he looks pretty tired by the lack of good sleep and the latest subjects which he must pass before the holiday period.

The bun in which he ties his hair lately, the one he made only in situations of social style or when it hindered him in sports, is completely crooked, he doesn't let his hair to freely fall over his shoulders anymore since the little incident with Mal. From that day it has grown, slowly, but I don't understand how he perceives it since he cuts the strands that for him are longer than the others almost every day, and anyway he always cuts them wrong, it causes the bun to be bigger in some parts, shorter in others, and always crooked.

Freddie turns her torso a little, just enough so he can't see her. The glitter begins to fall inside the helmet, even she makes it spin with her hand, and a bit of levitate magic, so it has more room where to fall down.

I sit on the floor in front of them, wrapping my knees with my arms. Jay remains with his head down, playing with his thumbs because he has nothing in his hands, and nibbles on his lower lip. This is my plan, Freddie got involved but it's mine.

"Why are you still here?" she asks when she finishes pouring the spell, Jay leans to lift his stick up, he puts it on his thighs and slides his hands over it. "You should be…".

"I don't wanna play" he turns his head to make eye contact with her, his eyes turn red and glassy with each passing second. He will not do it…. "I'll stay on the bench, watching, dunno, I'm just not play".

"Why not?".

The three of us get distracted by a slight bump in a locker, a couple of guys are trying to meddle in the scene. Freddie snaps her fingers and summons a couple of shadows, these scare the hell out of them and they run away like a shot.

I smile because it's something I should do, Freddie smiles proudly and Jay just sighs.

"Shouldn't you be in trouble for using magic?" he asks in a low voice, blinking the tears back inside his tear ducts. "I have understood that Mal isn't allowed to use it after what happened with her mother".

"Mal is the daughter of Maleficent, people here are scared of that" she settles her skirt and gives me a look that says 'this is so boring, let's get outta here' before looking at him again. "Not many people knew my dad unless they needed him and his services, that's why they don't mess with me".

The band, our band, begins to cheer the game. Finally.

I get up and look out through a small window nearby, the bleachers for our fans are also filled with people. Jane is already trying to draw everyone's attention, Mal and Evie are sitting on the grass, shoulder against shoulder, doing their best to be present in the game just because of Ben and Doug respectively, not for me or for Jay.

I'm energy as Freddie said, and they have almost completely cut bounds with Jay, they can barely look in the hallway without them wanting to rip his head off.

"But we're not talking about me. Here" she gives him his helmet but Jay just looks down at it. "Go out and play".

"Told you, don't wanna" he places it on the floor, trying to remove his jersey.

The voice isn't heard entirely but the sportscaster seems to be looking everywhere for the missing guy, saying his name, also the guys seem somehow concerned for not seeing him already in the field.

"The game is about to start, if he's not out now we'll lose for default" I go back to sit and Freddie is killing me with her look, I roll my eyes and cross my arms, also bored from this. "Okay, fine. Whatever".

She moves her eyes quickly, like if she were searching for answers in the dust motes flying around us, until an idea lights up in her head, I can almost see the light bulb turning on over the tiny hat.

I don't have the chance to ask because her left hand is placed on his thigh, _very_ close to his groin, and the other cups his cheek to make him look at her, right into the mesmerizing bright eyes. Freddie smiles but Jay seems doubtful, his jersey is placed back on his body and his hands are fists at his side.

"I… don't… I don't wanna do this…" he whispers, the tone in his voice says it's about to crack.

I can't help but look at them, stare at this change of plans. I knew deep down that there was some dirty trick behind, her magic couldn't come without some kind of payment; I should have read the fine print in this metaphorical contract.

I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't… care…

"You know how I feel about the death of my lil… of Carlos…".

"No, actually I don't know" she rolls her eyes, "and Carlos died a month ago. Get over it".

"I don't think I can get over it, for my fault he's no longer here".

"Listen, you're killing my mood right now so I'll just make it easy for you: if you step out on the tourney field now and prove me it's worthwhile then I will make you feel good tonight".

I swallow the lump in my throat with some difficulty, feeling something in the edge of my stomach, or my chest, I'm not quite sure where the feeling is but it's there, and I don't know either which will be the appropriate name for it, but it would start with a 'you have to be kidding me' and come down to a solemn 'I hope you screw yourself in hell'.

Plans and changes of plans, moves and countermoves.

I still have a lot to understand about human relationships, and supposedly I'm smart.

"Oh yeah?" Jay asks, changing his whole face in a blink, now he has become that arrogant and cocky bastard he tends to be, the way in which he plays with his eyebrows and idiot smile proves it. "We'll chat until late at night, that's the only way you'll make me feel good".

"Well that's obvious, perhaps you consider me one of those easy girls who blackmail idiot boys and have sex with them so that in the end their best friend ends up six feet underground because of their stupidities?".

I couldn't count the number of low blows that came straight to Jay's pride, but at least I know they were enough to get him go back to take that position where he's the victim of his own bad decisions, the position he has taken since everyone decided to treat him like a plague.

"You know me better than that, besides something makes me think that Carlos would be happy to know you're still in tourney even if he's no longer here for you to step on him and make the winning score to take all the credit instead of him" my mention in this makes something to shine in his dark eyes, something strange and unusual, something like a combination of his forbidden feelings with sadness that he experiences continuously, "but fine then, if you want it so then we'll talk".

Without further to say he gets up, puts his helmet on and takes the stick firmly, he gives her one last look and rushes to the field. His presence relieves everyone since the cheers are soon to be present, the sportscaster introduces the missing player and with the sound of a whistle I know the game has just begun.

Freddie and I let out a sigh in unison, similar to one of relief, and we dedicate each other a look. I arch my right eyebrow while the smile that she hadn't outlined reaches up to her eyes. Evie would be scandalized by the wrinkles.

"Was that absolutely necessary? Hint on him?" I get up and cross my arms, she also stands up but starts walking down the empty locker room towards the exit, from there to the game field. I follow her at all times.

"Sadly yeah, if I haven't done it then Jay would still be in there with his little big cloud of fatalism floating over his head" she turn on her heels so sudden that I barely achieve to stop, "and you should thank that you're not material or I would have punched you so hard that your teeth would have fallen down one by one".

"I'm not…".

"There goes the first score for Auradon Prep!".

The crowd goes wild. Jay, Jay, Jay, that's what they say.

We both completely forget tear the throat apart from each other and come back to the common interest: carry out the prank. We sneak behind the bleachers to the other side of the field, next to the opposing team's goal, she ignores the greeting from Ally and Lonnie, also the invitation from Mal and Evie to sit with them to watch the game.

The advantage of this time of the day is that the heat is scorching, the sky has no cloud on it and the sun shines in its last moments to provide light. I notice how uncomfortable she is for so much solar energy against her body, but now she seems to be more committed to this plan than I am.

I can do it, it's a lesson he deserves.

We stay in silence for about ten minutes or so, at that time the crowd cheers and boos at unequal times, both of the teams do their best effort (or so I think) to beat the other off, and Freddie's dedicated to look at the field with her back fixed to the structure of the bleachers, like if anyone would actually realize that she's spying.

"It's working!" she hisses a high voice, she gives a couple of little jumps in her place but tries to hold off her emotion. "Come, look at it".

I tilt my head to do so, in the exact moment when Jay runs towards the other team's goal and scores, for the third time. The crowd goes wild again while they sing his name, I see him punch his fist with Ben and he gives him a pat on the helmet, something that makes him shake his head aggressively, like if he had some itching and the gloves didn't allow him to scratch it.

"Time out" asks Ben when he notices that Jay continues with his head down, the referee obeys him and with his whistle he calls for a moment of rest. "Are you okay?".

Jay takes off his helmet and nods slowly, he rubs his eyes and blinks while he enlarges them, the gestures he makes are too funny, so much that even a few people over me points out at him and laugh.

I don't know if it's a thing of mine and Freddie's but I see how the lilac glow of the spell is hovering all over his head, I also notice how it impregnates slowly on him until, after the whole minute of regulatory rest when you ask for time out, the glow disappears completely. He puts his helmet on again and gives a pat to Ben, they exchange a smile while all of them retake their positions and the ball goes back to be in play by the referee's whistle.

"Dammit" Freddie growls behind me, I turn my head just a little to see Mal walking towards us, her hands made fists. "She knows what I did, so… where are you going?!".

She yells but I don't listen to her, I simply jog to the area where the shooting will begin at the time when someone comes close to make the scoring, sure Jay will do it again. Think about everything that happened just a month ago, hearing his name in the cheers, and see that he's starting to get out of his own destruction hole makes me want to push him back inside. And I will.

"Jay, Jay! Here, I'm free!" I shout from the middle of the kill zone, just when I see him running in this direction, dodging those who try to tackle him down while keeping the ball in the air.

He reacts to my voice because he looks at me, his speed starts decreasing slowly, his eyes widen with a simple movement and finally he stays firmly in his place, completely static. He drops the ball and also the stick, it rolls until someone else catches it and heads towards our goal.

Apparently a month without receiving some kind of news or look on me has a great impact on him.

I arch my right eyebrow while I notice a couple of guys from the visitor's team running in our direction, elated and ready to beat us while Jay, on the other hand, seems to be in the midst of an internal struggle so that his knees don't waver, so that the emotional side doesn't explode right now.

Right now he seems to be experiencing another one of the forbidden emotions, or one that he banned himself from in an implicit deal.

Fear. The transformation of total fear.

It's the first time in his life that in which he experiences fear. The four of us have experienced varying degrees of fear on the Isle, but the only one who has had that emotion in a vivid and constant way was me. Evie has never been afraid that her mother decided to grind her bones to death with a metal bar, Mal got used to the kind of reactions from Maleficent, and Jay prefers to seek ways to keep his mind busy instead of feeling.

It's quite clear that this is new to his organism because the reaction wouldn't be considered as an adaptive one, he stays there when a threat is running at him from his back.

"I hope it hurts, a lot" I entwine my hands behind my nape and sigh, winking my right eye, the move enough from him to come back to the world.

Too late.

The first thing to hit him, straight in the face, is Dragon Fire, I have no idea who had shot it but whoever it did had the exact precision to hit him in the spot where the helmet doesn't cover his cheek.

He stumbles toward his right side, growls but shakes his head violently, like if he thought that seeing me was just a hallucination produced by the heat and the blow like the breeze of the wind that hits him when he sits in the window.

The second thing to hit him is the biggest guy on the opposing team, I couldn't see him well but he was, at least, one head taller than him. The tackle makes him to fly in the air for a few seconds, those that takes the crowd to catch their breath, and when Jay hits the ground I hear how the hiss of the bit of air he had in his lungs finishes coming out.

The referee blows his whistle and the players stop, the seven Knights from the team rushes to the kill zone while the doctors also come into action. I turn my head and see Mal arguing with Freddie, but more than an aggressive arguing they just seem to have a friendly chat, they're even laughing and pointing towards me. I guess Mal now knows some part of all this, Evie will not take longer to know it then.

I approach while everybody surrounds Jay and stand behind Ben, the medical team removes the helmet and I guess they didn't expect to see a pained expression on his face sometime in this life, neither the slight swelling under his left eye. I allow myself smile without feeling.

"Jay, I need you to follow this light" orders one of the doctors, lighting up a small flashlight and moving it slowly from left to right. Jay does too, grunting softly and holding the left side of his body.

"Hurts… too much…" he hisses. Pain, something he doesn't usually express.

"We'll look into it as soon as possible, you had a very strong impact with the ground. Do you think you can stand?".

He nods slowly and gets up on his elbows, he opens his eyes completely and then he focuses his look on Ben's right shoulder. He's looking at me.

I wink my right eye once again, he shows himself more surprised since he uses his hands to back off but he slips on his shield, the doctors are quick to avoid a major accident to occur but Jay hurries to shoo them away. He keeps looking over Ben's shoulder, at any time he ceases to raise his eyebrows in that unusual expression of thrill so strange in him.

This moment is delicious.

"C-Carlos…" he gasps, by physical exhaustion and surprise. "H-he's behind you, B-Ben… C-Carlos is b-behind y-you…".

"What's up" I click my tongue and wink again.

"N-no… you're… you're… y-you…".

"Would you mind to finish one sentence? It's quite annoying that you don't do it" he begins to back off again.

"Jay, Carlos isn't here, he hasn't been here with us for a month" Ben says in reassuring voice, extending his hand to help him up.

"Oh yes, yes I am" I purr while stretching out my arms. "Surprise, moron!".

"No!" all the team leans over him. "I'm sorry!".

Hearing my voice seems to be the last thing he can stand since he jumps up with a jump and starts running, ignoring the words of the medical team, from our team, and even from coach Jenkins. He passes by next to Mal and Freddie, the two of them are laughing at him at the same time point out at him, and then he runs as fast as his weak legs allow him until he gets lost in the crowd that approaches to see what's going on in the tourney field.

The sportscaster suspends the match for fairly obvious reasons, the fans seem somewhat disappointed but, being made up of good people, they seem more worried for his welfare.

Freddie comes over with tears of joy streaming down her cheeks, the laughter are also quite audible even when Chad and the rest of the guys are giving her disapproving glances. She doesn't know the standards of goodness yet, and if I can feel this way of realized with a simple prank that went out as expected then I don't want her to approve Remedial Goodness 101 anytime soon.

"I have to say it… that was awesome…" she takes deep breaths to recover the oxygen from which her lungs are begging for, "and sure… Mal knows, she knows all about you so…".

"Do you need something specific to bring me back?" I ask without looking at her, I just focus on the crowd that conglomerates in the field and in the words of the sportscaster calling for calm.

There's no way there can be calm in a suspended match, among the spectators, or in Jay's head. I don't think I can feel more satisfied with what I have just done, my first official prank and everything came out nicely.

Maybe plans may themselves be done such as how they were planned after all.

"Uh, I would need some blood to put in your veins" she speaks with a more relaxed tone, no longer struggling to say a couple of words, "and I don't know if there's a black market where they sell cerebrospinal fluid per liter or so, but with my magic and blood it would be enough for the moment".

"Great, get it and we'll meet up in the graveyard at dusk. It's time from me to come back" Freddie stands in front of me and arches her right eyebrow, surprised again by the kind of things that I'm doing now. "Consider it as a second phase of our plan".

She outlines a lopsided playful smile and turns on her heels, stretching out her arms so the air that's blowing, I guess warm for the time of day, can cool her.

Let's see which the actual results of what I just did were.

* * *

I don't understand the kind of relationship that had emerged between Freddie and me, but I guess we're new friends. From my part in the beginning we were something like rivals for Jay, then we come to tolerate each other a bit when we saw us in the streets of the Isle, and now we plan and she uses her magic to help.

It's a new kind of relationship, solemnly weird.

I get up from my 'comfortable' seat by the door when I see the funny haircut of Ben coming down the hallway, sweat still runs down the sides of his face while his quick step guides him to the dorm.

He's the second person who takes the initiative to approach to this section of the building, as a social experiment we almost seem isolated from everybody else, but since Doug, the brave first one, left the door ajar I couldn't get in to see my masterpiece of panic and fear.

"Jay, man…" I sneak behind Ben when he pushes the door just enough to poke his head in, I hasten my pace to hide behind the couch, a spot that allows me to see him cornered between two walls.

"Get out!" he shouts while he throws something made of glass that becomes shatters about two millimeters away from the clumsy new king's face.

"Jay, I just wanna know you're okay…".

"I'm fucking okay, now get out!" he gets up at an incredible speed and runs with arms outstretched, striking the door and putting the latch, isolating himself again from the world.

I watch him from one side of the couch while he gives a couple of punches to the wood, a kicking to the wall, and then he slides slowly to fall down on his knees, he turns his back towards the door to wrap his legs with his arms, rocking in his place slightly.

More satisfaction comes to me, but I don't feel it.

"Such a show you decided to give out there".

His hands get deep into his hair while he rocks vigorously from front to back, pushing himself with his toes and crashing his back against the door of the empty room.

Watch him while he slides towards some degree of madness is… pleasant, the only thing that ruins it is the constant doubt about the results I get from this and the need to stifle a couple of screams into the pillow.

Knowing that he slides into madness because of me makes me feel relieved of all commitments and promises I made to many people.

I want to think that watching and hearing me again makes the promises he didn't fulfilled to torment him, he was there when I needed him without being the deepest listener there may be. He's terrible, he's a monster.

But, considering what I'm doing now against him, then maybe I'm also terrible, a monster. I still regret nothing.

"Carlos…" I get up and he watches every one of my movements, since I stand fully on my feet until I approach towards him to take a sit in front of him. I notice that he moves back a bit and his shoulders are tense, defensively. "Are you… are you real? Are you here…?".

He stops his movements at that moment, he looks at the empty space between us and hugs his knees so hard I hear the loud crack of some joints by the imposed force, he lets out a shaky sigh and doesn't bother to wipe away those tears that are sliding down his face. Just like his nakedness, watching him crying will not be a surprise anymore.

"Yeah, I'm here".

He lets out something like a mix between a sigh of relax and laughter while he stretches his hand and tries to take mine, when he notices that his hand is not holding anything and that mine makes a grotesque symbiosis of energy mixed with the flesh and bone of his it's when he returns to hug his legs, however the smile remains there, a little wider.

Freddie said she can see me like if I were an ordinary person, completely physical, without any kind of transparency. I wonder if he can also see me in that way.

"Why I can't…?".

"I'm here to remind you how much of an idiot you can be" he lowers the hand stretched and goes to rock back in his ball.

Trying to confront him is harder than trying to deny everything that has happened, until now I notice that I really want to refuse to do things which I'm not used to, but I'm also too pissed off with Jay I try to think only in that, or whatever that pushes me to think and act in this way.

"Jay, you're an…".

"I-I miss y-you…" he stammers, his voice breaks once again and fresh tears streams down his cheeks. "I-I really m-miss you, I never thought in all m-my life there would come a m-moment where I'd m-miss someone, a-and I'm glad i-it's you".

He hiccups but doesn't look at me, he lowers his head with every word, like if his ego were indeed that huge enough to prevent him from expressing such things; the remnants of a whole life of villainy are and will continue be present in him.

Seeing his tears prevent me from saying what I had in mind, it makes me think that I'm powerless, poignant and quite weak against such behaviors. Where I want to get exactly now? I don't even know.

He pulls his head back, giving a so loud and so hard hit against the wood that it causes a small dent, the sound reverberates on each one of the walls of the dorm and I'm pleased to see the dent.

"What are you doing exactly?" I ask, something natural in me. I like to know the origin of things, and even more now I want to know why he did that.

"I want to know that I'm not hallucinating because I just don't want you to leave me, never leave me. Not today, not tomorrow; just don't".

"Why, Jay, why?" I'm start to play with my feet instead of looking at him, I move them from left to right in an interval of three seconds because I see the crying and hatred against himself phase every night before he goes to sleep. "You caused the main problem to prefer what you usually do, you said you wanted to steal the wand for me but anyway you chose your impulses to buy Audrey's silence. You forgot me then".

"My life sucks now, you know that and also everyone else who hates me for what I did. I made a mistake, and I'm sorry, but it seems that nobody will ever let me forget it".

I can't go on if he's doing or saying things like that.

I have to go on, he deserves this and more.

No, I'm weak.

Of course not, I'm strong for standing against him. Barely.

"I don't understand what makes you think I know what you went through".

"Yeah, yeah you do…" he lifts his gaze back up and our eye contact is direct. I hate so much how mesmerizing his eyes are.

We establish a conversation without words, with the main fact of keeping the look seems enough for him to notice how much I hate what he did, to see a bit of the reflection of what I did/didn't wanted to do while I was under the effect of that magic, for him to know I meant the last words I said before starting the whole procedure from which I didn't wanted to be part of.

But his nonverbal speech tells me that he really regrets what he did, that already learned the lesson and considers this a mistake, as he has said it, but he should know that not even asking for forgiveness a million times it will be enough to amend it. He committed treason against me, being his boyfriend or whatever, the worst kind of treason that can be in a commitment like the one we got involved since the Isle, and maybe it happened before but neither of us had the guts to say it aloud.

The way in which he frowns, his hasty breathing by the constant crying, the tears. Everything he does.

I can't fall back on that, if I grant it to him it will be a usual forgive and forget, something that cannot happen if I want to take part in the radical shift that has to give everything in our lives now, again.

Do I want to be part of that change? Again, since I don't even know.

"Why are you saying that?" I ask, running a hand through my hair and with a sigh of fatigue.

Without some kind of warning he leans forward, I don't understand how he does it but the position that he takes simulates like if he were kissing me, his face next to mine and his lips aligned with mine.

And it happens, it happens again.

It's like a tactile hallucination, and I'm not sure they exist.

I can feel him. I can feel his warmth, the scent of his body combined with the grotesque faint stench of sweat, his soft, fleshy and mobster lips moving over mine. I can feel his care, love in a stupid and usual word in Auradon; the feeling that died. This can't be a hallucination, it really has to be happening. Someone just can't imagine something so real.

"You're not here, you're dead…" he moves away, also saying that seems to make him nauseous because he gets pale from time to time and holds his stomach.

The tears come out again in all its fury, like if he were a waterfall that seems never to end, like that about which Mal talked about in the Enchanted Lake. He wipes away the tears with his palms, he sniffs once again and takes a very deep breath.

"I miss you so much because you were always by my side when I needed you, when I was afraid for showing everyone what was there between us you were there, you supported me and you gave me balls enough to keep going on" he thinks a little what he just said and lets out a giggle. "That sounds bad, but I think you understand".

"I really don't understand, I don't think I can understand, but keep talking" I snap in a bored tone. He forces a smile and takes a deep breath again.

"You were something like a magic eraser from all the stupid things and bad experiences I've had, not as many as yours, but the point is that since you came into my life, since you were that little human being wrapped in scraps of fabric and with dirt marks on his freckled face in the arms of Cruella, you left your personal mark on me. It was from there that our memories started, from there it started to be an us".

That pleasant sensation keeps growing and, to some extent, of happiness, for all I'm getting to hear from the 'strong, aggressive, violent and ruthless guy who left the Isle of the Lost'.

I must admit I wasn't quite sure what it was to love or be loved until we reached these creepy lands filled with annoying princes, disastrous princesses, good people, and dogs, and when I discovered it, when I experienced for the first time, I didn't knew if I was ready to say it to someone else. I think I understand better the ban of feelings on the Isle, they deviate you from the target.

The way in which he holds his breath makes me feel that I'm going to pass out and throw up at any time, all his actions become the most frustrating thing that can exist, but I have to let him vent it out now, who knows if this will happen again when he sees in the flesh in front of him once again.

"Can I confess you something?" he asks, the same tone used by young children when they want to share a highly classified secret.

"I think so" I roll my eyes and focus again on my feet.

"I always realized that I valued people by the kind of things I could steal from them, or the kind of things I could do with them, but with you I realized that I wouldn't get nothing else than personal gain".

"Don't get it" I snort because I really don't know what he's talking about.

"I could be myself when you were closer, you made me feel like someone special because you were special, although I never told you that aloud and I masquerade it with best friend attitudes".

"Honestly I don't understand you" I snort back, but I admit I have a different perspective of him with everything he says.

"You're smarter than me, than everyone here" he smiles a little, "so I know you understand even it if you don't want to admit it".

The alarm clock, the one that was responsible for waking me since my duty was to throw him something on the head to get him up, marks the time change. Eight o'clock.

We stop talking, finally, and I look out the window when he breaks the eye contact, the sun begins to hide in the treetops, the last clouds of the day seem to get dragged along with it, and I start to have sensitive once again, but not by the closeness of his leg with mine or for those emotions and words that are boiling up in me.

What I feel is excessive tiredness, drowsiness, despondency, something like if I had run more than fifty kilometers in one sitting and I didn't have anything to recover.

I look down at my hands just to check and notice a change, a frightening change; transparency begins to occur, not gradually nor sudden but I do can see a bit of the floor on which we're sit.

My time as a bunch of energy/magic is coming to an end. For a moment I didn't believe that the warning on a temporary basis from Freddie were true, I thought it was a simple trick for me to take a hasty decision and oriented only to the destruction of others.

I shouldn't doubt from her word, that if I ever got to trust or believe in her.

"Give and take, don't forget it" the small voice so low with which he speaks makes me lean closer, something I didn't wanted do for some reason. "For you I learned to appreciate the others without material things involved, and in all the stuff I don't want to say, or which I'm not sure why I'm saying them, there's the fact that I heart you, I miss you, and I want you to never leave me because…".

"… because you're something like my other half" I conclude, getting a small smile from his part and a shudder from mine. I didn't mean to say that, that wasn't the conclusion I was going to come this time; that was completely mine, and I feel bad for saying so. "You heart me, I know it, and I used to heart you too, but now I can go back again to say that I hate you" I'm remain quiet, the lightheadedness feeling is clouding my head another bit, now I can almost feel like if the floor were moving underneath me.

I shake my head and look at my feet, like if they were the most interesting thing in the whole universe and the only way I can avoid ranting about what fights in my chest to come out, the warm words and such stuff.

"I know, and I don't expect you to forgive me even if I ask for it on my knees" he challenges me a little, waiting for me to bow down. A dirty trick.

"Good, 'cause if you do so it would be more pathetic than you existence".

More silence comes up while an analog clock, one that I guess he stole in one of the periods in which he wanted to keep himself busy to avoid thinking about his emotions, marks the slow passage of time. Ticking. Ticking. Ticking. Time passes without any kind of obstacle, the plants grow, the wind blows, the ocean moves by the streams; the Earth is spinning as usual.

And what are we doing? We remain attached to each other. I guess that's the other part of the hackneyed story of finding someone, that in which we're living now: being made for each other in good and in bad times. Honestly I want to end with all that once and for a damn good time.

"I was thinking that if I ever fall in love for real you're going to be there, you would be the first one for whom my feelings were real and I wanted to be next to me for a long, long time, and if our memories are still present then it would be very selfish from me. I don't want anyone else, just you".

"It's ironic that you set it up like that since you've always been pretty selfish in every way, and again, you were it for forgetting me to prefer Audrey, whatever the context in which it happened was".

Nothing that can be said is now a guarantee, from either of us.

"I'm tired, tired and sick of you and all this between us, if I can still call it like that" he stays quiet for a gasp.

Before I can say anything else I look up, a white cloud explodes in front of his face, the moment when he breathes in has timing so violently exact it's impossible to think in a coincidence. He lets his head fall back and the light snores tell me that he' mired in a deep sleep.

I turn my head towards the window and see Mal, Evie and Freddie looking inside the dorm, Mal holds a slingshot in her hand and smiles with absolute pride. I'm not quite sure of when they appeared, but I really hope they haven't heard a thing of the last fifteen minutes or the time we were talking, if they did then I couldn't look them in the face for how ashamed I would feel, but I guess Evie could understand.

"Enough talk for now, we're going" snaps Mal, she lifts a shovel over her left shoulder, almost giving a direct hit to Evie on her perfect face if she hadn't ducked in time, and transforms the smile on that grin of malice so characteristic of hers, "I wanna go to bed early".

She starts walking, Evie and Freddie follow her closely, both of them with shovels on their shoulders and the same smiles with the same feeling.

I get up and the metaphorical fatigue seems to hang more over me, like a weight on my shoulders, or maybe it's my conscience again reminding me of the kind of things I did now; I will not regret anything at any time.

I give one last look at Jay, noticing how vulnerable and calm that he looks for the effect of the soporific magic of Mal. Something in me expects it to be the same kind of magic her mother used on Aurora, but another part wants that there really could be someone stupid enough to wake him up with a magic kiss. I wouldn't do it even if they paid me with all the chocolate in the world.

Chocolate… something I'll taste again, and spend time with Dude.

I sigh and head to get out through the window. Alright, it's time.

* * *

The moonlight illuminates our way through the forest, it gets filtered through the holes in the treetops and the clearings formed reveal a pair of deer jumping from one place to another, a pair of rabbits watching their burrows, and the songs of the owls that give a sinister air to the path.

I like that contrast.

In Freddie's words we're walking through an incredible shortcut, but I'm pretty sure that we would have reached the graveyard more than ten minutes ago if we had just followed the line of the road just as it showed to us the map in Evie's mirror.

Mal and Freddie are walking in front of me, they occasionally stumble over the twisted roots of some trees, or with trenches produced by some animals, and they always have to accompany the stumble with some little rudeness. However I hear them laughing, they use the memory of the funeral to insult Jay and to discuss whether if both Mal and Evie expect to reconcile with him.

Mal is softening at that, more, because she misses her first best friend, I notice it in her staring when she hears his name and remembers some things they spent together on the Isle.

Evie doesn't include herself in the conversation, she also stopped writing text messages to Doug when the path became difficult. But she keeps walking behind me, she apologizes every time she steps on my heels and ducks when there's a branch that can rip loose her robe or hit her face.

Since we entered the forest she has remained silent, she rarely responds with a monosyllable when a question from Mal is direct, she prefers to remain quiet and look at me as we keep going, I've seen her scanning me with her eyes on more than one occasion in the last fifteen minutes, and I don't blame her, I'd also feel nervous if my best friend, dead, were walking in front of me while we're going to bring him back from the deadest ones.

From my part I still feel more and more tired, Freddie noticed the change in my appearance but she only limits herself to keep going with considerably slow steps, going around in circles and walking back the long distances that we have traveled. I can imagine how exhausted the three of them must be after the long haul, and anyway it doesn't make sense to bring shovels because I doubt that they will use them.

Perhaps they'll used them to knock people out who stands in our way, or to loot ancient graves and find valuable magical trinkets, or to find more tiny demons that fit inside of jars.

"C-Carlos…?" Evie whispers for the first time in all night long. I stop and turn on my exposed heels, noticing that her eyes get moisten slowly and she struggles to keep her breathing easy.

"Evie, are you okay?" she also reacts to my voice, but not as Jay did, she just lets out a breathy sigh and walks a couple of steps closer.

"You've b-been with us all this t-time?" she stands beside me and we follow Mal and Freddie, we surround a bush with red berries and cross an area with high grass.

"Y-yeah, since it all happened".

"Why you never talked to us?" she points at her and also to Mal.

We leave the forest stumbling down through the dense grass and the trenches in the ground until I finally see the fence built with metal rods that rise high above our heads.

I have no opportunity to answer her since our 'women leaders' get into an argument, Mal objecting that we're at the opposite end of the graveyard, and Freddie claiming that her shortcut was the best choice we had, and I swear she speaks in her irritated tone by the heavy backpack she's carrying on her shoulders. Evie rolls her eyes and I do the same, but the brightness Mal's hand makes me take a defensive position since the fire burns in her hand, but instead of burning the soul of Freddie (if she had any) she throws it to create a hole in the fence.

If she could do that with a fireball roughly from the size of her palm I can't even imagine the kind of damage that she could have got in Jay if she hit him.

We jump into the graveyard and follow the path formed by the gravestones, which somehow seems sinuous since everything seems to repeat every two turns to the right or to the left, like if the whole place were planned for inexperienced ones to get lost, just as any maze.

"Carlos?" Evie calls my attention again, this time I walk the three steps that splits us apart because that's how we retake the molding. "Why you kept hidden from us? Did you stop trusting in us too?".

"Don't say that" I look at her and give her a smile, "I couldn't never ever stop trusting in you, and less in you, E, you've been with me since we were little kids" I make her to smile and, even with the darkness of night, I can notice a slight pink color in her cheeks, "but I just wanted to be visible for Jay, I wanted to play him a couple of pranks. I wanted something like a little revenge".

"I understand it, I'm sure I would have done the same if Chad had did the same stupid things that Jay did to you" we both laugh, I can almost feel it's a real laugh.

"Now it's my turn to ask you, how can you see me?" I arch my right eyebrow, murdering the small field of light humor that was generating between us. "Freddie can do it all because of that voodoo stuff she does, but how is it that you tow can do it?".

"We talked after the cancellation of the tourney game, she told us everything that you two previously did, what you had planned for that time and for later. We decided to help you so she used a bit of Jay's spell on us".

There don't generate more questions because out women leaders stay standing in a left turn, Evie and I get sight too. We're here.

The place where I'm laying is surrounded by a couple of trees, I don't know of names so I'll say that they're birches, or baobabs, I don't know, the point is that they're huge, leafy trees, and they produce shadow even at night. My tombstone is distinguished by being clearer than the others, which are in various shades of gray, also it doesn't have a bouquet of flowers, a farewell note, nothing, it's just another part of the community oblivion.

I allow myself to let out a sigh, something that the three of them do too.

"Alright, let's do this fast, we're vulnerable to the curious looks".

Freddie puts her backpack on the ground, she starts talking in that weird tongue while she kneels to find and get out a couple of things, about three big cans with salt inside, five white candles and one black, the wax is so dark that I almost can't distinguish it between the opaque tones in which the night surrounds us.

Mal begins to look in the pages of her spellbook for one that allows her bring to the surface the expensive coffin, but it seems that Maleficent chose to write about transforming love spells on a nice display of cookies instead of writing something that can really be useful. If I think back again in her dorky spinning well then I could almost assure that she's more words than deeds, but since she can turn herself into a dragon I prefer not to think about it even if she lives in a small habitat in the girls' dorm and also surrounded with a variant of the barrier around of the Isle.

Evie stays on her feet, stiff and with a slight trembling on her lower lip. Just three seconds ago she was sat on a tombstone and she stood up in the next instant, like if someone had whispered in her ear not do that again or she'll face the wrath of hundreds of banshees.

"I don't like this place" she says with low voice and crosses her arms, shivering suddenly, "I feel too exposed, besides that I can't imagine what would happen if Freddie's magic reached out to other people here…".

"I don't think we should…".

I stay quiet since the ground beneath our feet begins to shake, I can feel it now a little more, like if having my body nearer make me that I could also experience those sensations. But it's been a whole month since that happened, I should be in a process of decomposition somewhat more advanced already, so it's weird that I may feel that way.

The tombstone lying over me, that whose obituary only has the phrase 'Dear friend who will always be remembered', cracks until it splits in the half. We step back while the ground rises more and more until the ground begins to fall down the sides of the wooden rectangle, the tombstone turns into small pieces of stone and then there's nothing more left from the new acquisition of the graveyard than a mound that wasn't there a second ago.

I don't think Mal and Evie have noticed the shadows pulling the coffin from the deeps of the underground nor when they disappeared like smoke when you turn off the flame of a candle, but anyway the magic of Mal wouldn't be useful, or maybe it will but now yet.

I turn my head when the voice of Freddie passes by to my left while she's still whispering, until now I notice her brief absence, and I also notice so far that the four of us are in the middle of an inverted pentagram.

Each one of the white candles is lit up and placed on each tip of the star, she has the black candle in her hands, pressed against her chest, while her words seem to make that now a couple of clouds of golden hues get formed high over our heads.

Two lightning's, also golden and blinding, fall directly over a pair of shadows that were dancing next to Mal and Evie, I'm not sure if those are Freddie's friends of if they were just wandering spirits, her new henchmen however.

Before I can have a panic attack at the thought that they got seriously injured they both move away from the shadows, I almost forgot they can see them, which are growing slowly in size while they move towards the coffin, I approach just like them with very short and wobbly steps (another change since before I gave them more or less firmly) until they lift the lid, like if it were a simple box that hides some kind of amazing surprise.

The three of us bow our heads to see what's inside, the amazing surprise.

There's no decomposition process, some kind of bad smell that produces them to grimace of disgust, larvae or insects eating fragments of my dead skin. There's nothing of that, neither it seem that it will be in the future, I'm just in there, lying with my eyes closed, calm and serene, like if I had just been underground for a couple of minutes, preserved as an antique.

"Conservation magic" Mal whispers, running the backs of her fingers on one of my cheeks, "it's amazing".

I feel her touch, I actually just felt it.

They both walk back a few steps while Freddie approaches, she unlinks my fingers to place the lit candle between my hands, then the shadows seem to have some kind of grotesque fetish towards dead people since they begin to tear up the fancy clothes until they only leave some fragments in the necessary areas for me to retain some modesty.

The magic kept me preserved, however I can see some bruises that stick out in my white skin on my chest, neck, sides and stomach; I have no idea where they came from, and even my skin tone seems to be somewhat grayer now that I'm illuminated by the candle.

Freddie also finds a popping vein in my left arm to put the IV, connected to a pair of blood bags.

Seeing her do all that, watch me on top of the mound of dirt, know that Mal and Freddie are still being her company, all this makes me think once again how unreal everything looked at first, now think that with a couple of spells I'm about to walk, breathe, think and feel once again makes me almost want to run. Again my primary ideals are changing.

I would run away if I didn't feel that I'm about to fall down, I don't think we're closer to midnight to be tomorrow and I stop being energy, for me to stop being and not being in the world. I think this has to do with the spell that she hasn't ceased to pronounce since ten minutes ago, it must be some kind of simple linkage magic while at the same time it's complex.

" _Magicae, vitam post mortem, Carlos, redi!"_ everything goes dark after that pair of words.

I arch my back when I'm forced to breathe, feeling my vertebrae while they're moving, they seem to be rejoining while I breathe like a fish out of the water, I get to inhale through my mouth and exhale as well, both processes with some violent movements and some squeals. I don't remember having fallen from the window to be so painful.

I begin to open my eyes slowly, first watching all gloom, then it's like if a screen began to close and I saw the blurred glimpses of the moon with the stars, then my eyes focuses completely and I can see a couple of bats flying in the sky, the high-pitched sound they emit to engage communication so characteristic in them also reaches my ears.

I place my hands on the edges to get up, but before I can do it a couple of new clothes seem to rain on me.

"Get dressed" Freddie orders me when she stands beside me. It's inevitable to note that she wobbles in an aggressive way, her eyes slowly closing, and from one moment to another she falls to the ground on her back.

I stretch my hands and noticed that the dark petrified wax covers them, the feeling of the fire that I have my stomach makes me to wipe away the hot remains of the candle; it got consumed in a matter of seconds, but I don't stop to watch very much all that. I hasten to wear the shirt and underwear, trying to lift my legs as little as possible because I don't want to have Mal and Evie looking, if the curiosity to look arises in them.

When I finish I leave the coffin with a jump, I kneel beside Mal to see that she has the head of Freddie in her lap, she breathes in a difficult way, she trembles therefore for the of excess magical energy and for the cold breeze blowing in this place, still she seems to be mumbling a few things for the spell. Her hair is no longer tied in her ponytails and now she has it covering her entire face.

"We must go back…" Evie doesn't stop talking since I also fall to the ground, this time on my right side.

The pain that patted my back and chest gradually gives way, only to then go straight to my head in such a sudden migraine that it almost makes me want to tear my eyes out and bury my head in the ground to try to calm myself.

I guide my hands to my temples and rub them in an aggressive way, thinking about also embedding my nails to see which one produces more pain, so much that I produce some black dots to move in random positions in my vision field. I close them to mitigate somewhat the feeling. It doesn't work.

The pain and the feeling of discomfort increases gradually, it seems like if my brain were sending all the excitements of pain to my face, cheeks, chin, chest, back, throat, neck, shoulders, hands, stomach, groin, thighs, feet, calves, toes; pretty much anywhere.

"Carlos? Carlos!" Evie rushes and takes my hands, I move away from her because her touch produces more pain and I become more of a ball, feeling that at any moment I will blow up so this whole ritual ends up as an unnecessary- spending. "Mal, what's wrong with him? He was fine a minute ago".

"He was preserved for a month…" Freddie slurs the words to give an answer to her panic attack, "his body is… adapting to all the changes he was gonna experience… before he died".

I let out a roar when it seems that I get up to the maximum threshold of pain, each one of my muscles, joints and bones gets tensed for a moment, warm tears come out from my eyes at the same time I breathe throughout my mouth like if that would reassure me.

Inside my head voices are resounding, familiar voices: Mal ordering us what to do so the plan would come out as perfect, Evie in our hours of study with those problems of integral calculus, Ben talking about kindness and tourney games, Ally and her weird accent, Lonnie and dancing, Jordan and fashion, Audrey with her poisonous mouth saying hundreds of nonsense, Chad insulting me, Jane and her conversation then get you bored after a few minutes, Doug and that longed computer program we were developing, Maleficent giving us the plan before leaving the Isle, the Evil Queen in one of those little discussions in which she wanted to know how to have a good angle so her mirrors could get some better lighting, Jafar and the shelves of his store, mom giving me a long list of chores in the morning that I had to fulfill before noon; everything returns. The part that hurts me the most is hearing Jay saying that he loves me at the same time he apologizes, and all the talk about his night with Audrey returns.

Then everything decreases, such as the bleeding after a small cut and a great moment of drama to an unforeseen situation. Evie traces circles on my back while my stiffness decreases, everything in my body becomes languid gradually, the calmness after a huge storm. When I finally return to a position in which my joints are flexed in some natural way I turn my back to look at Evie, who devotes me a smile and also has some tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Do you feel better?" she asks, her white teeth lit by the flame on a candle. I wonder why these aren't completely consumed.

I nod with energy and sit up on my elbows so then I get up, Freddie does too and walks shuffling to hide the pentagram, she moves with slow and cautious steps, she's still wobbling a bit, but has a big sandwich in her hand. I guess that will be enough for her to get her energy back and we all can go back to the Prep without some kind of new problem.

I walk towards the coffin, my old container, and take the pants I didn't have the chance to put on. To my surprise they don't fit anymore, and I wore them a couple of days before the accident, they fit above my ankles and the button fails to close around my waist.

My torso seem to experience the same since the shirt also comes a little above my navel, the sleeves scrunch my skinny arms. A change produced by magic, or due to preservation.

"I think I'll have to make some new clothes for you" Evie stands next to me and places a hand on my chest while I turn my head to look at her, looking down a bit, "I didn't expect either that you were gonna get tall".

Tallness. I grew so much that she's no longer taller than me, that means that Mal will be shorter than me, and maybe I already have the same height as Jay to look at him straight in the eye when I see him again. I let out a sigh.

"Neither I expected it".

We both enlarge our eyes for this new change, the tone of my voice, somewhat deeper than my usually high pitched tone. Evie raises her eyebrows in a weird way, it's usual in some contexts but not with me, in those contexts it's when she's flirting with a guy, it's the same way that she does it now. Does she think that change is attractive?

"Tallness and deep voice, you have any other surprises?".

"I have some theories but I rather discover it on my own" she winks her right eye and we both let out a little laugh, she gives me a warm smile, she extends her arms and without thinking I hasten to give her the hug back, pressing her a little against my body while her arms surrounds me.

"You're back" she whispers over my shoulder.

"I'm back" I say over her shoulder too, we both squeeze a little more and move away when we listen to Mal clearing her throat.

"He's _my_ little brother, I should hug him first".

"Just shut your mouth and come" I say, extending out my arms and smiling. She rolls her eyes and with her smirk she moves forward to allow me to hug her, something that wouldn't have happened even after us choosing goodness.

When I have a piece of paper I'll write down the date because it's something that really deserves to be registered: Mal just sighed, something she hasn't done while she'd been with Ben, nor when she does something that works like how she planned it.

"Don't go away again, okay?" we move apart and she takes my face in her hands to look into my eyes, I smile to her and she does the same.

"I promise not to do it, and if I have any problems I'll talk to you two".

"Good" she widens her eyes for a second, then she retakes the usual posture of evil and mysterious girl, her true being. "I like the tone of your voice, by the way".

"Thanks, I think…".

"Yeah, yeah, this whole meeting is very beautiful" Freddie gets inside the conversation, she no longer looks so pale but she still seems to be weak, "now let's get outta here before they find us".

She drops the shovels in the middle of all of us. Now I understand it, she brought them so we would end to do the job because she used her powers to make the most arduous and difficult task. Fair enough.

"Why don't you ask your ghosts to help us? They did all this mess" Mal says between grunting and rolling her eyes.

"First of all they're not ghosts, and second of all they're too upset about the payment I gave them to have the necessary spell for them to even listen to me, so if you don't hurry I swear that I'll give them your souls for them to help me, both figuratively and really" she laughs at the end, like if that would mitigate the threat.

That's enough for three of us, we managed to get the dirt out from under the coffin, we dig a little for it to be back underground, and we cover all the evidence with loose dirt, Mal makes to grow a few lawn with a spell of vegetation and we use some dead leaves from the trees.

The tombstone remains in tatters, but she uses a bit of green fire to simulate that it was pierced by a lightning. Except for that one detail it doesn't seem that someone has practiced magic to bring someone from the dead, and I want to know what Freddie meant by that payment thing; she never mentioned anything, but I'll do it tomorrow, now we walk back to the hole through which we enter.

I feel the warmth of my body, my heartbeat, the wind against my face, some strands of my hair caressing my forehead, I hear the sound of the night animals. All comes back to be a bit like before.

"So… now what?" Evie asks.

"Let's go back to the dorms" the three of them dedicate me a look. I also find myself surprised for being the first time that I express an idea when I don't know what to do, but still I cock a smile. "I have a feeling that tomorrow will be a day that Auradon will never forget".

They share a smile, the kind of smile of complicity and comradeship, while they nod with their heads slowly. Before making a line to jump the fence I suggest them to follow the path of the road to get there sooner; none of the three of them says something to refuse.

Mal is the first one to jump, she makes sure the coast is clear before giving the signal to Evie to jump. Freddie gets up over the fence and when she has half of her body on the other side I clear my throat.

"Freddie?" she pauses and lifts her head slightly in my direction, a sign that I have her attention. "Thank you, for this and for everything else".

She winks her right eye and smiles, then she jumps.

I climb the fence and let out another sigh. Tomorrow is another new beginning.


	12. A new me

I'll be honest, I had no idea what to write for this chapter, but at least I think I could get out some rather interesting things. Fav, follow or review, also I'm coming (in some way) to the end of this story, so again I inform you that updates will take a little longer than usual, also school's killing me slowly. Without further ado, enjoy :)

* * *

 **A new me**

I don't quite understand how the plan of coming back to the dorm to rest after a very long day filled with magic and summoning that could be considered as things beyond the grave to bring back a dead guy for him to stop being a bunch of energy, besides pulling into action an amazing prank against someone else, can end up in a sleepover.

The four of us are clustered in Mal and Evie's dorm, the three of them are walking from one side to the other with their phones in hand while I devote myself to look at my feet dangling over the side of the comfortable bed of Evie, noticing the remains of mud and some branches who managed to entangle to the shoelaces.

All three of them are researching on the internet something like 'what should I do if my friend was dead a couple of minutes ago took a nap and he stopped breathing for about an hour, he didn't died again and he opened his eyes like if nothing had happened', and I don't think they're going to find put the results that could fill their research. Freddie also took a nap because of the energy cost and they never caused the same fuss than with me.

Somewhat exaggerated.

Finally I take off my boots and socks, feeling relieved to not having my feet caught in such a small pair of shoes. I didn't expect to grow up so much and in that little time because of the preservation magic, but I must admit it's something that I like.

I let out a snort and pick up the chinos along with the shirt that Evie just created with her sewing machine and get inside the bathroom of their dorm, still not getting used entirely to change clothes in front of someone else and knowing that I'll be ignored for a while. Not even with Jay around I felt confident enough to show my body in that way, and that heated moment we had was something like a moment I forgot what I usually do.

I guess some things never change, and I hope they don't.

I strip in front of the mirror and stay just in my underwear, finally noticing the changes my reflection is showing me before taking off my last cloth and taking a short shower while they continue with their research.

Yeah, it's true, I'm taller, I have to duck my head slightly to see me in there. I also notice that my shoulders had became somewhat wider, my chest is still as flat as before except for the tiny muscles that could be developed because of tourney, my abdomen is also under the same conditions, and my arms seem to have thinned out a bit more, like the branches of a tree that's about to be cut off. Still there's no line at my sides that can divide my torso from my waist, and my thighs are still in some way the biggest part of my whole body, my legs have a very soft layer of hair that begins to thicken that wasn't there before, and my feet could almost be from the same size as those of a giant. As I suspected it, my crotch also grew slightly.

I let out a small laugh and finally I can enjoy the sound of my new voice since it's not something completely new anymore, though it's still a bit scary for another sudden change.

I still have the scars produced by mom, even a new one shaped like a waning moon above my navel (courtesy of Freddie's candle). Another thing I notice is that there are quite dark circles around my eyes, like if I hadn't slept five days straight, and I don't remember noticing that they were as dark in that occasion when I spent three days without sleep.

I shrug my shoulders and get dressed again, brushing my wet hair off that stays on my forehead and sometimes gets in my visual field, not without sparing me a wink and a smile before stepping out. I need a cut, or maybe someone can fix it in a certain way.

"Did you found anything interesting?" I ask while I sit back down on Evie's bed, barefoot and devoting them a small smile.

"Nothing that doesn't end up in something like 'call emergency services for a respiratory arrest and needed for resuscitation'" says Evie, sitting next to me but burying her face against a pillow.

"It was just for a moment, I don't think it will happen again" I say, trying to devise some sort of excuse. "I stopped breathing for a whole month, I wanna think that I should get used to it again".

"You know that doesn't happen in that way, it's about an autonomous process in the body what we're talking here; you just can't stop breathing for your own will" snaps Mal, using something that surely she read her research, or perhaps she also plunged her head in some books from the library in her spare time.

"I know it" I run a hand through my hair and dry the excess of moisture in the T-shirt, "I'm just looking for a solution so you can go to sleep. You three look too exhausted to even stand".

All three of them share a look, a nod, and finally a small sigh. They know I'm right, and even if Freddie slept the same amount of time that I did still it's remarkable that she needs a long night's sleep, or whatever that someone who can do voodoo magic can dream.

"I wouldn't like that to happen again and this time no one is alert to try to help you" she says, sounding frightening but genuinely worried.

"I don't feel tired actually" and that's true, it's like if, though it's about to be midnight, drowsiness was something that my body doesn't know or it has lost it by the spending of so much time in the darkness of the underground.

I cross my arms over my chest and I cringe myself a little, feeling something in my chest that seems to be moving, like a shiver and something that's shrinking my heart, similar to that feeling of being stabbed when Jay told me what happened with Audrey, or rather when he tried to say it.

They also seem to notice it because Evie settles by my left, Mal to my right and Freddie in front of me. The three of them puts a hand on my exposed limbs and that relieves me a little, just enough so I can uncross my arms, not for me to stop cringing and my teeth to chatter.

"How is it?" Freddie asks, she lows intensity of her voice so many octaves that the new sound almost seems new to me. "How is it… to be on the other side?".

This is a conversation that I would like to have alone with her, she knows more or less how things work in the underworld, not like Hades and all those things he could do before being exiled to the Isle, but anyway she seems to understand how it operates to be the other side of the lifeline, in that world where time elapses, the atmosphere is always dark and cold, any shadow could try to attack you; the total opposite of the lifeline.

I didn't really die then and however it seems like if I had experienced it all firsthand. Is that possible, or I just try to show myself as empathetic and kind with things that I find somewhat difficult to understand?

"You know that I never left, not entirely" I lift my head with my shoulders hunched, looking Freddie's bright eyes and her curious look, which in some ways reminds me of that one from a curious look of a cat.

"I know that, but your body died, how does that feel?" she reformulates the question, exacerbating what I feel now.

"It was… it was…" I hesitate a bit, trying to cluster together all the things I felt then in a few words that are meaningful and representative, "it was like… falling asleep. Yeah, that, it was like going to sleep slowly, but not sleeping tight or in a comfortable bed, it rather was like to do it on the floor, over a block of ice… like when mom made me sleep in front of her coat closet to protect it from threats" I shiver by the memory.

I think I should clarify there that I did it to protect her creations from Jay and his tactics to sneak inside the house, which he did on more than three occasions even when we were friends already.

However, remember that constant in my life, and express it, makes me feel a little relieved, liberated, like if it really wasn't my fault that mom forced me to do it and I didn't deserve to do it because of my bad behavior, being the victim of another of the many abuses that she had against me.

It's one of the few occasions when I say what happens to me, when I can take advantage that we now live in Auradon to be someone totally different from my shy and rational being. Something about everything that happened makes me to open my eyes to everything that happened to me, to the truth of what happened to me on the Isle and that somehow I wanted to delete. I guess I don't have to keep lifting defenses any longer, or at least lift them only when the situation demands it.

One arm gets placed on my shoulders, one thin and that, somehow, expels a slight smell of vanilla.

Evie pulls me closer to her and makes me to put my head on her shoulder, she strokes my arm up and down in a very soothing gesture, so much that it makes me smile, all of it to know that I actually had someone around me and I couldn't see it before my taking of such drastic decisions.

Another pair of arms gets pressed against me, without the sweet smell coming from the movement, and the head on my shoulder tells me that Mal will also be there even if she doesn't say it aloud. I've always thought in the same way about Evie, someone with whom I can count with and whom I can tell almost anything, but Mal from that perspective, the accompaniment one, is difficult to digest.

To conclude with the moment of compassion-by-the-former-dead-guy Freddie disappears from the front of me, she gets on the bed and gives me pats on the back, but not the usual pats that between lines they say 'yeah, yeah, now move aside', but instead, like them, to tell me she'll be there.

I think this new attachment from her part comes from the closeness that we developed for my nonsense, and now I don't want to distance myself from her, not as I had contemplated it at some point in one of those slip-ups in which I wanted only to get something from her and run away from any kind of impact.

"You'll get out of this" Mal says to cut the silence that was interrupted a little by the sound of crickets, you'll get out of this, little bro. We're here and we'll help you whenever we can".

"I know, and I thank you".

I honestly didn't want to produce this moment of sentimentality, I just wanted to say something that was in my head and done, that because I hate when people see me like if they were watching a wounded animal, a small and weak animal, something that happened sporadically on the Isle and here it happens more often than I would like for the story that I drag with me.

We go back to plunge into a deep silence, I let out a sigh for receiving this amount and quality of affection, keeping the smile and thinking the things a bit. I have to get used to it, customs here are something that I should accustom from now on, and also I'm pretty sure that I should improve my way of emotional expression, though for Jay it never seemed a problem.

I move into my place for my stomach growl, a sound that makes them laugh, but for me it has a different meaning. It's not something produced by hunger, I know very well when it comes from that, it rather is something that goes along with the feeling of something going through my body, like a slight tingle.

It's something I have felt after the voices in my head, the voices that once were real, and I thought it was because of the sudden growth, but given that it hasn't given up yet I guess that something must have been inconclusive, or perhaps something hadn't finished developing in the same way and somehow it will keep doing it in a slower pace.

Maybe in the morning I'll wake up with a beard stubble on my chin, or with some few hairs on my chest. Or maybe I'll be taller. Anything could happen after returning from the underworld and from a 'parallel dimension'.

The clock of the belfry from the tallest tower of the citadel marks the time change, it's finally midnight. It's assumed that the four of us would be in trouble because of having the lights still on after curfew, but if those illusions created by Freddie for the guards to believe that they were in here when they did the night review really worked then I guess we must still be hidden in the same magic and that nothing will happen.

I only guess it.

"All right, enough for now" I say, shrugging my shoulders for them to move away from me, and I do it just because I want them to sleep, not because I don't like being hugged. "I mean it, you all go to sleep".

"Not a good idea" Mal says, looking at me with arms crossed.

"I'm not tired in the least, I promise, and if something happens I'll wake any of the three of you up" I dedicate a look and a smile to each one of them, "this time I swear I'll talk to you".

"Well if you don't want to then I will go to sleep, I'm too tired and have plenty stuff to do before the semester is over" Freddie stretches and lets out a long sigh at the end, then she snaps her fingers and her usual attire gets replaced by a lilac nightgown. "Dibs on Mal's bed".

"And where the hell am I supposed to sleep?" she asks, rolling her eyes and raising her voice a little. Yeah, some things never change, and the little squabbles about little things will not either.

"Evie has a bed that looks big enough for the two of you to sleep on it" she says and with no more said she slips between her blankets, like if actually this was her dorm.

"Even with everything that happened today I swear I'm about to kick your…".

"Mal, manners" Evie scolds her in a weary tone. The firm tone that she usually employs reminds me the one of her mother when she raises her voice on those occasions when she doesn't apply makeup nice or when her sewing doesn't have the results that none of the two expected. "You're a good girl now, remember it".

"Ugh, whatever" Mal rolls her eyes and walks to her drawers.

I enter to the bathroom again to give them time to change clothes, and also to not only stay to watch another small fight. I put the cap on the tube from the sink and open both taps, touching with one hand and leveling the water pressure with the other until it is warm.

I take a deep breath and put my head into the water with my eyelids open, suddenly I feel overheated although the wind blows hard on the outside, making some small branches to break in addition to the oldest leaves of the trees to fall and come together in uneven piles.

The feeling of the water on my skin again reminds me that everything will go on over some kind of way, that I'm alive once again, that things I had considered to short term can again be something I can accomplish.

What are these motivations now?

I guess finishing my school years is something I have to do, anyway it's a task that Ben imposed on us by bringing us here; the part of being good I'll learn it with the passage of time, I hope.

I should also look out for some jobs, though I don't think there's much work offer for a fifteen year old boy who was formerly a villain. I could start with small things but that they were significant, like shelving books in the library, selling cakes at any festival of Auradon, walking dogs, or perhaps seeking patents for my few but amazing inventions. Anything that generates me some kind of experience and economic earnings.

I would venture once more into the strange world of relationships with people, love relationships, although I repeat that part of never having found anyone else attractive besides Jay, and those feelings for him are still in a state of ambivalence. I want to forget him, to turn the page and see if I can find someone else who can make me feel special, but I also want to go back to him, to him and to all that relationship of damage, treason, but with the component of the deep bond that forms through many years of interaction involved.

In the first instance the first thing I have to do is to announce that I have came back, that all that celebration of the funeral was something in vain since magic is too powerful for any understanding. I can't imagine the kind of answers that people will give, I can even imagine some people fainting when they saw me walking around again.

I interrupt my thoughts by someone knocking on the door, I take out my head from the water in the act since I don't want any of them thinking I wanted to make something stupid again.

"Carlos, you can… come… out…" it's Evie, talking halfway through a yawn.

I dry my face with a small towel hanging beside the sink, I look once again the circles around my eyes in the mirror and frown a little. I thought that they might decrease a little for that little nap, but it seems they're there to stay. Or maybe I just need more sleep.

I step out to their room to see that the only light comes from the lamp on her bedside table, Mal's the other side of the bed and lying on her right side, for her even breathing I know she's already in a very deep sleep, and it were just a couple of minutes the ones that I left. I glanced quickly at the other bed, noticing that Freddie's also under the same conditions.

Perhaps they were peevish for exhaustion, I understand that because it's something that usually happens to those who left the Isle often, such thing because long sleep isn't a privilege that can be enjoyed.

"They both went to sleep just like that and I realized that you don't have a place to spend the night" she says, slurring and fighting for her eyes look at me. I can see in them how fatigued she is.

"I'll sleep on the floor if I feel tired" I assure and she grimaces in total disgust, she purses her lips and eyebrows before crossing her arms. "I mean it, besides I wouldn't ask you to give me your bed".

"I can settle down next to Freddie even if she doesn't wants to" I raise my right eyebrow and she laughs.

"That's an option but only if you want to have nightmares all night long, or if you want to wake up her bare hands strangling you" we both laugh but still I can see a hint of determination on her face that she really will do it for me, and that's something that I can't allow to her nor to anyone. I have to be able to do things on my own, only with the help of someone when I feel that what I have to face is way beyond me. I take her cheeks and look into her eyes, lifting her head to do so. "I'll be fine on the floor, but if I'm honest with you I don't think I can sleep in all the night".

"Because of what you just went through?" her hands take mine and she gives me a sad but genuine smile.

"That combined with some other things I hadn't realized until a couple of minutes ago".

"You want company?" she whispers, like if at any moment we were about to wake up some of the snarling girls. I stroke her cheekbones with my thumbs and that makes her sigh.

"The only thing I want is you to go to sleep, we'll talk about that and more in the morning. I promise".

A small flash crosses her eyes, like a shooting star sailing in the deep darkness of the night, in the next instant her hands move away from mine for her to surround the bed, she turns off the light of the lamp and then she gets into the bed, she places on her side to plunge into a sleep she deserves after being Freddie's minion for today.

I sigh heavily and walk towards the window, taking the notes Evie left to my disposal to try to catch it up with the classes. I open the window wide and place a small cushion in the frame to sit on it, letting the left side of my body to be hanging outside the building while I look at the sky, decorated with some clouds that move slowly because of the wind, those lots of stars shining in the outer space, and the full moon that gives its light in every corner you can see. I sigh again, relaxing my shoulders.

I missed this. I missed feeling, experience, breathe, think, have things at my disposal. I missed being alive.

But with an act like that there comes great consequences.

Tomorrow will be another day, tomorrow is the day when people will see once again something from me, when they'll notice that what I did was something like a joke, or when everyone feels they're about to lose the reason to see someone who died walking again without being a zombie.

Zombies are pretty cool, and I really appreciate not having returned with the appearance of one, but I do feel like one. It's all the blame because of that that's still tickling inside me and to which I can't give it a name, but it's true that it's their fault.

I can't go back to my dorm, not yet, not without having in mind that Jay will be there, that I'll be something in his daily life again and that now he will not spend a big part of the night lamenting what he did, what he could never say to me, and for the things he wanted to do while we were together and never could.

I don't feel prepared to see him, not without thinking I was a bit selfish of me moving away from him in that way and leave him to get all the blame, but I also feel ready to see him and try to deflect his nose with a punch, for him to receive a little of what I would have liked to say or do instead of fleeing from our dorm and from everything.

This time I will not let things to bring me down, this time I will face everything at all costs. I will speak louder, I will make my presence more noticeable, I'll play tourney like a pro, I'll sing and dance like if my life depended on it. I'll be someone different.

But of course, everything sounds easier in the comfort of my head, before all that have to face the strong and ruthless reality.

I close my eyelids and place my head on the window's frame, swinging my leg to allow the air to seep through my toes. My hands go up to the shirt and I lift above my navel, just to look at the waning moon that from now on will also be part of me.

Something new, someone new, a new life. A new me.

I let out a laugh that had the need to get out, I take Evie's notes and ease them to read a little of what I've lost in all this time. It's a fortunate that she also takes some advanced classes and that she had requested copies from mine, so I have all night long to at least have a notion about what I've missed at the times when I stayed outside the building and watched the birds while they were flying in their organized flocks, or when I just wanted to go back to those habits of skipping school.

I read the topic title that states 'Thermodynamics' in that stylized letter and blue ink all over the paper, I begin to read the backgrounds with only one thing in mind: tomorrow.

* * *

I walk with my usual pace through the hallways, dodging some people and avoiding at all costs lifting my head for anyone to recognize me. The hallways are substantially empty, a sign that students are being released from some school work while others must continue with it.

The winter season is approaching. I heard around that a long holiday period will accompany it so all students and faculty members can relax for the next school year.

I get inside my respective classroom for the first class of the day, Integral Calculus, and I find an available spot in the back, I shrug over the chair while my 'classmates' start to arrive, saying that the teacher has become very tough and that many don't believe to pass the subject.

This is one of the easiest classes that I have, it's just a matter of finding the logic about the procedures.

I lift my head just to look at the clock over the blackboard, the teacher is about to arrive and shut the door, to why those who come after him will not get into the classroom for any reason. He has always been very strict with the schedule of his subject, assuring that those who are late it's because they really didn't wanted to be there, and he's somewhat right.

The wishes for taking off the thick sweatshirt that I have over me remains latent, at least only the hood that hides my face, but since I don't want anyone to make a fuss or spread the word until I so want it then I just have to resist a little more.

"Good morning, class" says Mr. Welsch when he enters the classroom, leaving his briefcase on the desk before walking to the door and closing it slowly, giving opportunity to those who were outside the classroom talking to come in. "Today we'll have a review of everything we've learned in the semester because, as you know, your last midterm will be tomorrow, and I honestly wouldn't like to see any of you in summer school, so let's begin".

Before starting he sits on the desk and pulls out his attendance list from the briefcase, another of the creditors to be earners for an evaluation. He basically established it has to be covered ninety-eight percent of attendance, in other words he said it's not possible to miss his class.

He begins to say the names in alphabetical order, repeating some of them since the holders are asleep because a class at seven o'clock sharp or talking to someone else, also he raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes when he notices a truant. I take my hood finally, easy because nobody sits on the end of the classroom even when there all are present.

It's now when I want the fuss.

"de Vil" he says, then he swallows hard, making the laryngeal prominence that he has to move. Something tells me that he has committed that mistake of saying my name on more than one occasion, it tells me his act and the whole room staying silent. "I should already have marked his name as complete absence…".

"I'm here, Mr. Welsch".

He raises his head suddenly, everyone else turns their gaze to my direction, horrified to see me back here after so much time. I wave hi to and give them a smile, noticing that some people are moving their chairs to get somewhat a little far away.

"M-mister de Vil, b-but you… I-I saw you… w-we all saw…" he stammers, he loosens his tie a bit since the situation seems far beyond his control. I can't help my smile to widen a little more.

"Yeah, I know, but it was something like a much needed vacation, but I'm back and ready to acquire more knowledge".

He says nothing else, he just continues with the attendance list, at the end he stands up and starts writing some exercises about Riemann integrals, not without devoting glances at my spot, like if at any other moment I would disappear and that all of them had been perceived me as a bad dream.

My classmates are also looking at me, a couple of them takes pictures of me, something I didn't count with, and I'm sure that those people who were thrown out of the classroom will also spread the word since some of them saw me and had to take a double look for corroborating whatever they were seeing.

I roll my eyes and let out a small laugh, loud enough for a couple of girls to turn their heads and look at me instead of the solution to what is on the board. One of them especially looks at me in a different way than the others, she's holding eye contact with me and doesn't seem to want to break it, a girl of white skin, green eyes and brown hair; perhaps she feels captivated by something.

I'm not quite sure what comes over me but I wink my right eye and widen such a smile that shows all my teeth, she stretches her back and I notice the pink color on her cheeks growing slowly, then she returns her gaze down to her notebook and lets out a small laugh before the rest of her group of friends starts talking with her.

Did I just flirt with her? Yeah, I did, and it gives me some certain degree of happiness to see what I can accomplish that. Certainly before any of the changes that would have been something completely impossible for someone like her to notice me, but anyway I don't feel attracted for her in the least, I just want to play a bit with the situation.

I stop writing and place my arms behind my head, stretching my legs and whole body. Today seems to be a great day, I'll take full advantage you can.

* * *

At four o'clock in the afternoon I'm completely free from all my school duties, and I must say it before I keep feeling that I'm going to explode at any moment: I am _extremely_ popular and I hate it at the same time I like it.

Literally, there's no place where I go without thousands of people looking at me, the pictures remain being present, and since I'm not a fan of social networking then I will not see them, some people only come closer to touch me before running off, like if I brought over some kind of curse, and now have given that possibility to be trued doesn't sound so far-fetched because of having been brought back with voodoo magic.

Each and every one of my teachers were on the verge of a stroke when they saw me take my usual spots in each of their long, exciting and some boring classes, my classmates remained away at a considerable distance from me, again I was trying these tiny but efficient tactics of flirting with whom stared at me just to scare them away.

I haven't found Jay anywhere, I guess he still can't walk freely around the Prep without being attacked verbally. I don't know whether if being back here will make them change all of their ideas and comments to him, or maybe everything will be worse because it's not natural that I've got back.

If the rumors have spread to such a large scale then I wonder how long it will take him to hear them.

Whatever it is, it's the kind of things that a person can boast about for a long time, but since mine isn't boast of the few things that I achieve to get, or at least not to do it out loud, I focus only on walking with my head high, perceiving the whispers and hands pointing at me but without giving them the importance they expect to receive.

I still find it as amazing that I had spent the whole night reading what Evie gave me, every part of it, and even I took some of her notes about other subjects because near to four o'clock in the morning I was done and had nothing better to do. I haven't slept since the nap, all night I spent it sleepless with the notes and walking around the dorm, even the temptation to take a look at Mal's spellbook came to me, but since it has some certain kind of defense mechanism to avoid people outside her lineage to see it without receiving the effect of some spell against it then I better refrained myself to do so.

Nightfall in Auradon is something indescribable, the large number of colors that gets obscured in the sky attacks every sense, but see how the colors of a new day explode and erase all traces of the stars along with the moon is something that would leave breathless even to the most callous one.

I'll tell Jay someday to watch the dawn with me.

I get into the main building and head towards the dorm, realizing that I'm the worst owner in history since probably Dude is locked there, alone and waiting for someone to take him out for a walk, something we used to do when I finished the day and ran towards him to walk a bit and walk the gardens.

I turn at the end of the hallway before reaching my old dorm, with hasty step to free my beloved pet from his confinement, like it has happened to many of the princesses around here, but I collide with someone coming from the opposite direction, the strength and velocity from the impact makes us both fall helplessly to the ground.

I get up almost immediately, with a little bit of pain in my back, I shake the dust off from my borrowed clothes and reach out for the guy I just hit, a complete stranger. He finishes to pick up the papers he had in his arms and he looks at my hand, then he looks at my face and starts to back off like if I had a knife in my hands and were about to stab him.

"You were… you were…" he moves and I follow his steps until he can't move back anymore because of a wall, however he uses it to stand up.

"Dead?" I ask, arching my right eyebrow and cocking a smile.

He seems to reach his limit since he swallows hard, looks in both directions and begins to run down the left hallway, there he finds an open window that he uses to take a leap. On the other window I see him landing with a somersault on the ground and keep running, colliding with a couple of people in his path.

"And to think I thought I was exaggerated with all my reactions" I say to myself/aloud, "some people are so touchy".

I turn around, shrugging my shoulders, and walk on the contrary hallway until I finally reach the front of the door of my respective dorm. I take the lock and to my surprise it's not closed, I guess he still thinks that no one is brave enough to attempt to loot something from here.

I mustn't forget that in Auradon such things don't happen.

I open the door and everything looks new, completely different, like in the first time we came here, but now I have no one to argue about the bed, and even that he said about sharing it could make me shudder if I hadn't gone through what I had to go through.

I drop the backpack Evie borrowed me next to the door's frame, giving an appreciative look to everything. His side of the dorm is still a mess, the unmade bed, clothes everywhere, some open books and what appears to be the remains of yesterday's dinner on his bedside table.

I raise my head to look at my side of the dorm.

When I was a cluster of energy I didn't get to spend much time of the night in here, I just came in to see his moments of contempt for himself, so that I didn't pay attention to my side of the dorm since in the instant he turned off the light I went out through the window to walk in the woods next to the building, through the quiet hallways, and even sometimes around the citadel.

Seeing that everything on my side of the dorm continues in the same order in which it was when I left here and didn't return makes me think that maybe he had some kind of respect for me, to not invade the space of someone considered closer to him. Maybe he did heart me.

I approach to his bed when I notice something dark that stands out among the white sheets, something black with some red details here and there. When I take it I almost feel a laugh coming out from me, and the laugh comes out.

I don't remember seeing any of my jackets in his hands the last time I came to see him, it seems that he likes to sleep with them since it was between the pillow and blanket. I don't know why something inside me seems to be coming into heat, something which adds to the ambivalence of hate/affection I still keep for him.

I leave it back where it was and I stand when the sound of something hitting the floor catches my attention, the sound of the long fingernails of Dude when they hit the floor and he's walking without a specific route. He should be complaining about it, every time his nails grow like that he tends to complains from dawn to dusk because he says they're painful, but it seems that he has been receiving cares, although no the proper ones.

"Jay, classes don't end so soon, I thought you'd be in…".

We both lift our heads at the same time, the two of us dumbfounded by this situation, totally surprised to see each other after a long month.

Even with his winces of pain he starts running towards me, breathless since the first rush, only running for whatever that happens in his little brain that brings him to come to me and jump at the right time when I kneel, I pull him against my body completely and stroke his fur, from his head down to his tail, scratching on his back and belly.

I bury my nose on his head, I hear him wimping while he's seeking to be closer to me, his legs are still moving even when I have his little body in my arms, like if he were still running, like if they were arms and he tried to wrap me in the same type of action.

"I've missed you, I've missed you, I've missed you…".

"I've missed you too…".

And I start crying, not a desperate kind of crying, but rather they're sobs and gasping for breath, this time because I add to the fact of having an unconditional company like his back with me the idea that this will be one of the few occasions in which I'll have the ability to release my emotions as best as I see them fit for me as more convenient.

I get up from the floor just to sit on my bed, which I didn't remember was so comfortable, I keep stroking him while my constant tears roll down my cheeks and fall on him.

I cry because I couldn't do it when I got out of the coffin, when I had that kind of rebirth and I could see the starry sky with the moon again; that crying could be a relieved one for knowing that I have another chance.

I cry for knowing that again I'm the weirdo among many people who call themselves as normal, they know themselves and know where they want to go, it's something that's still in me but I only avoid thinking it; that's crying of frustration.

I cry because I can have my pet in my arms again, I can have my friends closer again, I can still be a smart guy but a social outcast, I can be myself again; that's crying of happiness.

I cry, once again, for feeling betrayed by Jay, stabbed in the back and left there to my luck, incompetent about things I can do in couple relationships, sad to know that I'm someone people who can do without, one more piece in the game of life; that's crying of total sadness.

"Everything will be fine, Carlos" he says when I stop hyperventilating, he lifts his head and licks my left cheek, "everything will…".

"Dude! Dude!" the dorm's door opens with high speed, crashing against the opposite wall and leaving a mark. "You're not gonna believe what…!".

The motivational speech of the day gets interrupted because of Jay entering to the dorm, there's sweat on his forehead and running down the sides of his face, his hair is tied in the irregular bun, he's wearing the team uniform and his breathing fast while he looks at me, he observes my hand going back and forth over Dude's fur so then he looks up towards me, to my face, and I'm not sure if the agitated in his breath is by the distance he ran or for seeing me in the bedroom.

I hadn't heard that level of excitement in his voice since we were little kids, in one time when I was five and he was seven, this time he had made his first successful robbery, taking a few antiques from some specific households, and he said Jafar spent hours talking about the future thief who he was raising and how well he would continue to do his work. I faithfully remember all the things he said he would do for his father to continue being so proud of him, the forms of competition that he would do against Mal to determine which of the two of them would be the next big villain of the Island of the Lost.

Evie and I just watched it, and I spent my time seeing him smiling in a wide way, with some gaps in his teeth for those which had fallen because of the stable growth which he could actually enjoy.

I get up once again while he closes the door behind him, suddenly I feel trapped, locked inside a place that seems familiar to me, and the feeling manifested by that is one I known well since I experienced something similar for being alone in a crowd.

Jay widens a white smile while our eye contact remains there for a moment, I break it because I look down at the floor beneath him, to the grass on his tennis, but that small period of time gives him the opportunity to approach to me and wrap me in his arms, a little more worked than the last time I was in them.

I don't return him the action because I have Dude in mine, but still I wouldn't do it. I remain rigid, motionless and willing for him to leave me alone, in the meantime he lets out a sigh, his hand travels to my nape to stroke my hair, and Dude complains for being caught between us.

"You… you're really back…" he says, like if he were in the middle of a dream.

"Yeah, well, let's don't get so physical, okay?" I take his shoulder and push him away a little abruptly, noticing that his eyes redden a little more and become glassy while he keeps his eyes on mine.

"I don't wanna be away from you, not anymore, I've missed you too much to not take advantage that I've got you back here once again".

Those words, 'I've got you back', could be translated as a synonym of ownership, and a person is not an ownership for something like definition, a person is a person and period, it gives itself to whom it pleases the most, but still it retains its individuality.

I exaggerate with the way I perceive him, or maybe I'm not exaggerating, but the point is that he makes me roll my eyes and set Dude on the floor, I scratch his head and give him a smile, he nuzzles against my hand and gives a return on himself, wagging his tail besides to crouch so then he runs straight to the bottom of the couch, there he begins to play with one of the many squeaky toys that some students have given him as gifts.

He understood that I needed a minute to talk to Jay, but still I think it's a bad idea.

"I've always hated those toys" he says, like trying to break the ice and the tense atmosphere between us.

"They're his favorites, so they stay".

I arch my right eyebrow, expecting some kind of answer, but all I get is that he lifts his shoulders and lets out a sigh, still smiling.

"We need to talk" he assures, sitting on his bed and patting his side, inviting me to sit beside him, inviting me to return to him if I let him to act like he usually does with someone of his interest.

"No, we don't have to. There's nothing to talk about" I snap, surrounding my bed to smooth the sheets on the other end and the pillows, avoiding at all costs to give up to his demands.

"Carlos… we need to talk, please" he says, standing up and trying to move closer a couple of steps. I move across the dorm, watching each of his movements. "I know we can fix this, us".

"I've told you we have nothing to talk about" I say with a certain tone, sure of the posture I'm taking. "Besides you just can't fix what happened because it's not broken".

"Yeah it is, and we can do it… just listen to me…" he insists. He says nothing more, he merely lets his head down and observes all that he may that's not near or behind me, or to me. "I'm sorry, Carlos, I'm sorry for what happened that night and what I did to you" I struggle for that small part of me that wants to forget the act I'm trying to put in place and that wants to throw myself into his arms to be killed slowly since these are necessary steps, there are things I want him to learn in a certain way, "I know I've said it many times when it happened, and I know that if I do it a million times it will not be enough, but I'm really sorry, it was the biggest mistake I've made in the little that I have of life and I'm really sorry. I'm a clumsy, no… I'm an idiot…".

"Yeah you are" I laugh by using his words against him, something I know it hurts him because his nonexistent filter for words only sheds a certain amount to be taken by someone else, "a huge idiot if you ask me".

"And also…" he continues since I interrupted his speech. He's eager to walk closer a little but raise a hand, a warning, and I accompany that action slowly shaking my head no, keeping myself expressionless, "you know that we're the complement the other needs, something like pieces that must fit between, we both know it: you need roughly to face the adversity, I need the sensitive side you provide "now he looks me into my eyes, and to my dismay I see that he's not lying, he' being completely honest with me. "I love you".

I remain standing on my feet at the end of my bed, stiff for hearing again those three words along with the trembling tone in his voice, all of that makes my ideas to become blank and that I can't think of any other blunt response to all what he just said.

I'm not sure if he's just trying to take me back or if you just wants to be honest with himself to don't feel that his conscience will kill him in the next second by the pile of bad acts he had committed, but I just know that the nonexistent filter for words in his head just reached its limit of work, so that he only gets up and walks toward me with outstretched arms and with that smile that strains his eyes, that damn smile.

The more he steps closer I back off until I hit a wall, I use my nails to hold on to it while he gets closer, and closer, and closer, making the little personal space that extends between us to be destroyed.

"Don't you dare…" I say, raising my hand as a new warning, which he ignores since he seems to take longer steps. "Don't come near me…! Get away from me for a damn good time!" he stops only to look at me, then he tilts his head slightly and the smile begins to fade.

"Carlos… I want to save this, to us, the way of our relationship can't be like this because neither of us would like it to proceed in that way. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I really wanted to do something for you and…" I let out a deep laugh, like those derisive laughter that Freddie tends to express when something doesn't seem to be enough to her liking and she wants to make it known.

"Relationship? What damn relationship?!" I shout while I feel itchy eyes, a sign that I hadn't finished letting out the tears and that everything that's brewing inside me now is beating me to such a degree that crying seems to be the only solution. "There's no longer such thing, neither friendship nor love or any of that nonsense. I gave you everything as a friend I could give, we went to a new stage by being a couple and I also gave you what I thought would be enough for you, but the way in which you answered me was by spitting metaphorically in my face because it wasn't enough, it's never enough for you…" he looks at me with complete surprise in his face, which makes the tingling that I've felt in my body from last night to again be present, this time I feel from my toes to the roots of my hair, everything, like if it were something that needs a human way to come out or it will find a not nice way to do it. "I trusted you on the Isle by confessing what I had for you in me, I lost something from me for trying to give you everything, I stopped being me to be someone completely different, I became someone who answered to the way you behaved and period, so that I don't know what I feel for you… and I'm not sure if I can again feel something from what was between us".

He hurries the three steps that were separating us, I duck my head and all I can think about is that I need protection, I want to stay away from him, I want there to be something splitting us away once again, but not that it involves the death of one of both of us.

I just want something between us.

I bite my lower lip while I let out an agitated breath, something that manages to mitigate the feeling of crying and that allows me to practice the slow breathing exercises to achieve to calm down.

I frown when I don't get to receive his touch, when the toy with which Dude was playing gets silent makes me to arch my right eyebrow. The only thing I hear is the chirping of the birds outside, and I might even hear a pin drop coming from the Isle.

I turn my head a little and open my right eyelid slowly, only to see that there's something like a yellowish wall between us, the same color as the barrier, and on the other side Jay has his hands leaned over it, the dumbfounded expression in his face is indelible, and even he gasps for having no words.

"H-how did you do it?".

I begin to hyperventilate by thinking about something Mal said about magic produced nonverbally, an amazing thing for her but which I find as frightening. She said that to achieve such an event was equal to hitting a maximum degree of magical ability, one in which the ability to control and the power on it were so superior that it didn't need a spell or some device to channel it or guide it, only the fact of a thought with an end was enough for it. I dread to think I can accomplish something like it, especially me.

I say that because Mal touts about herself like a powerful girl, and she is for her own merits in addition to Maleficent's blood running through her veins, but still she has to continue to use the spellbook to achieve her goals besides some movements with her hands, Fairy Godmother needs her wand and magic words to do it, Freddie needs to snap her fingers in addition to pronounce a couple of spells when the situation requires it, but most of them come only when she snaps her fingers, Jane also requires spells for being a rookie, like me, but I don't have the slightest hint of magic in my whole family, none of the few relatives I have ever had such capacities.

The tingling in my body… it was that ability that hadn't developed…

But how? Where there could be a source of magical power to an ordinary guy like me?

The memory of the fateful night comes to me like a series of snapshots, and immediately the name of the potion 'Hidden Talents' comes back to me and sticks out in my memory with the same intensity of the sun shine.

I stare straight at the wall that separates us Jay and me, I watch while I think I no longer need it, I feel safe to have had some way to keep him away from me even for a moment.

The yellowish barrier disappears in the next second, and I didn't even have the need to blink.

I can do magic…

"I need to find Freddie" I say breathlessly, I step forward and he extends his arm to stop me, I walk below him but in a quick movement he manages to take my arm harder than necessary.

"Since when you and Freddie became friends?" I push aside his hand in the act but he does it again, I glare at him while he enlarges his eyes in a gesture that used to make me shudder because of how so captivating it was to see such an innocent expression in such a mature and manly face. There's no longer anything of that. "I remember you hated her before".

"Yeah, but I think it was hatred towards someone else focused on her" he backs off a little, just two steps to give us distance, "also you shouldn't care about it, everyone gets related with to the kind of person they want, but at least you should keep those links no matter what".

He's about to speak but he falls to the floor because I imagined him on the floor as an act of aggression against him, to know a little physical aggression that he has committed throughout the years to people who didn't deserve it, and those who did deserve but he didn't give them a chance to ask for mercy.

He gets up with a jump and gets in the middle of my way before I could reach the door, I see Dude peeking from the bottom of the couch, somewhat startled by the outburst, and I also look at the windows to make sure that this isn't about a plan launched by the girls.

"Now step aside before I force to do so, and since I don't know the extent of what I can do I think it's a pretty fair warning".

He opens his eyes, surprised by the threat I just launched against him. He's stunned, of course he would, but this time he doesn't try to fight against me using his eyes or words, he just seems to accept what I'm feeling because he moves away from the door and ducks his head.

I stand next to him and touch his arm to get his attention, he lifts his head slowly, like hopeful that we can speak for real about this, but all I do is to punch with my left fist straight into his nose, making him to falter and to hold to the couch while he mumbles obscenities and holds his nasal bridge, raising his head to hold the impending bleeding.

I step out the dorm with pain in my knuckles, and I'm not sure if the crack I heard was because of his nose or my hand, but I already did it and I really don't regret having done so.

I vowed for myself to face things, but instead I run away from them again. Something in me knows that I don't flee because I want it like that, I flee to find a better answer to whatever I have in mind, not to act rashly and cause a new kind of nonsense with these new skills I possess.

While I rush through the hallways to get to the girls' dorm another idea comes into my head: I want to learn more about me and the scope that I have. It's time to let people know that I've really came back.


	13. I'm bad and good

Next chapter! I know, I know, a chapter on Monday/Tuesday!? I had writer's block because of a failed test and that sort of uncomfortable situations, however I could cope and I'm bringing you the next chapter of the story earlier. Fav, follow or review, and again I warn you of the soon-to-come end, maybe two or three more chapters. Meanwhile, enjoy :)

* * *

 **I'm bad** _ **and**_ **good**

Freddie's not the kind of person who can solve in the simplest way a problem or some minimal consultation with a small and short talk. Oh no, she really doesn't have the ability to, and have coming when Mal was wrong with her wasn't a very bright idea either.

"So the situation is more or less like this" growls Freddie while she rubs her temples with her fingers, probably suffering a masterly headache: "You were in the dorm with Dude, you had a kind of reunion that sounds very boring, Jay came in and you two started to discuss, he tried to get you back and get close to you, I guess to kiss you, and you generated a barrier between you two just like that?".

"You forget the part where I punched him in the nose" I say, moving my wrist in circles because the pain is still present. He does believe that hitting someone is an easy task.

"Details with no importance" he says, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah it's important, and that's exactly how it happened" I cringe into my place, noticing how Freddie seems to be a little tired of what I came to say for almost three hours ago, and I can swear that also for dealing with me in so many times and for so long. A person has its limits to tolerate someone else, and I'm sure she has already reached her limits with me. "Why do you have to make it sound like something stupid?".

"Because it's something really stupid if I don't do it".

"Or me, don't speak like if I weren't here" says Mal, separating her view for the first time from the thick book with yellowed pages and brown leather lining in which she has been concentrated since I came to her dorm.

"Yeah, of course, if it doesn't come from one us it's stupid".

"There are people who can do magic here too" I say as a defense, for them to notice they're not the only ones who can do it, and now that short list of people who have magical abilities I add myself.

"Maybe yes, maybe no, but they have been able to develop their skills throughout their lives, and you're a complete neophyte in the subject" responds Mal, somehow taking the side of Freddie against me, while she closes the book and leaves it on her bed. "And if I'm honest with you, I have trouble believing you".

"I've never told a lie and you know better than anyone here" I say, squinting at her. She knows that's true, since we met I've always been the little boy that's silly and honest and devoid of malice.

"It was an act without significance, an accident if you want to call it otherwise, anyone in a situation where they feel cornered can do something similar".

"Ben could not do it, he's someone ordinary" those words come out without my permission, to what Mal reacts opening her eyes, craning her neck and back, like if she indeed feel a threat from me against him, and there's nothing that can get out alive if it threats something she cares about.

"You've got exactly four seconds to retract what you just said, unless you want me to forget that we're best friends".

"One, two, three, four" I say, keeping eye contact with her before rolling my eyes when I finish counting. "I don't really have much to fear".

Her cheeks turn into red from one second to another and she stands up almost jumping, completely upset by the way in which I'm confronting her, she raises her right hand up to her head before the usual green fire start to burn right in the middle on her palm.

She fails to release it since it dies in her hand, it becomes into a small cloud of smoke rising into the air and it disappears.

A smile begins to grow slowly on my face while I notice his expression of… I'm not quite sure how to call it, it's something like a combination of wonder with what could be stunned along with a set of impotence and complete shaming for failing to do her favorite spell. It's one of the few which she can cast that doesn't need verbal magic.

I let the fire burn again before turning it off right there, in her hand and with the same expression on her face. Freddie crosses her arms but smiles with a hint of complete satisfaction, like if it were enough to prove them that all I got to say is completely true. And it is.

"I haven't had a block on my magic since we got here, and it hadn't gone like that…" Mal tilts her head with a violent gesture to the right, closing her eyes tightly, "I hadn't…" she does it again, this time rubbing her temples with her fingers. "None of this makes sense, I've always been…".

She kneels down immediately, holding her head with both hands, snorting and threads of saliva coming out from her clenched jaw. I let the smile become wider on my face at the thought of the few memories I have of Mal when she was a small girl with a bad haircut, with stubby limbs, rare in a child raised on the Isle, with traces of crying out of frustration for not qualify what her mother asked her to fulfil at such a young age, with some pieces of cloth attached to her small body and always being a drag behind Maleficent.

What I do now is to attack her from the parts that hurt the most, everything I do to protect myself from her withering attacks. I do so from the times when she began to feel weak by not fit in to the activities of the Isle and from the moment she decided to change to be the heir that her mother had always wanted to rule the place in her absence.

Watching her staring at a point in the space, flustered by the sight of my memories and the way that I look to humiliate her, to send her back to those days when she wasn't even the slightest part of what she is now makes me eager to continue doing this, both to protect me from her attacks so to show her a little of what I'm now able to do.

"Alright, loser, that's enough" suggests Freddie, using a tone that combines amazement and boredom in a homogeneously mixing. "Stop it now or you'll make one of the veins in her brain to explode".

She places one hand on my shoulder, bringing me back to the moment that's happening, and I don't remember having forgotten everything of it. I stop to focus my thoughts on Mal to begin to ramble in the peculiar amount of tasks that I have to meet now that I'm back.

Mal remains kneeling on the floor, with one hand on her chest and the other arm being supportive while she stays there, catching her breath and tracing circles with her jaw. I guess she was clenching it too tight.

Seeing that scene makes me shrug, besides that I step back a bit until I hold on to one of the masts from her bed, I take it firmly since that thing in my stomach starts moving again, but this time it does it for all the repentance and dread by the reaction she will have.

"Mal… I…" I begin to say, not sure about where I'm getting, and without a sincere apology, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you…".

I move away from the mast and walk a couple of steps toward her, supporting just the tip of each foot as I go along, ready to run at the slightest glimmer I see out of her hands.

Halfway she turns her head in my direction, the twinkle in her eyes and the way in which she pouts reminds me that gesture that mom used to and usually does to the disapproval of my behavior, before raising her hand as high as that it's possible to then drop it like a slap on my face, and that's how she came to throw a couple of my teeth in addition to leaving evident marks.

I freeze in my place when her eyes found mine, I get completely petrified when I see her slowly standing up, like if she were about to become a dragon at any time and she were going to spread her wings before incinerating how little I may have of a soul until there aren't even the ashes remaining.

She walks in my direction giving loud stomps, without splitting our eye contact for a second, to which I answer only to find a way out. It would be easier if I wasn't standing in the middle of the damn dorm.

When she's about three feet away from me I close my eyes and tilt his head, I hide like the little boy I used to be on the Isle by not brushing each coat from mom in a portrait mode until I made every strand of hair to follow that direction, or if there was any lint on her clothes, if I didn't retouched the roots of her hair, or if her breakfast wasn't at the right temperature before taking it to her bed.

"I don't deserve to die again!" and at a pretty close distance I hear the sound of something crashing against glass. I open my eyes, only to notice something that was going to come one way or another. The protective barrier is standing again.

Mal hands are tracing the surface, which produces a small electrical current where the tips of her fingers are touching; she winces a little when she receives it but that doesn't prevent her for further touching it. I notice by her expression that she's very surprised to see that everything I said was true, that now I really have all this who knows out of where.

Freddie interrupts my breathing exercise by putting her hand again over my shoulder, but that distracts me enough to lower my defenses. Instead of bursting into flames in my place I hear Mal's laughter, I watch her from the corner of my eye while she crosses her arms and the smirk appears like the most personal brand that she has developed for years.

"I think we need to have a welcome party for your new skills, I admit that they outstrip mine by far, and those of Freddie too although she says nothing".

"I refuse categorically to accept that possibility, my magic is better than his, and yours too" she answers, staring at her nails and rolling her eyes.

"Oh, no, nothing about parties. The least I want now is to see my face standing on a banner or in the middle of a sea made of fireworks" they both laugh, but not because I'd really said something funny, they rather do it to keep me chillin out for what I just did to one of my closest friends.

"Fine, no parties, but still we have a few things to discuss".

I let out a loud snort before sitting on the floor, right where I'm standing, with my arms crossed and legs stretched out, like if I were in the midst of a tantrum that I could have never done on the Isle without receiving insults from mom or some other kind of punishment.

"I really don't wanna talk about anything else, I just wanted to show you this".

"You've just put me through one of the worst moments of my life, and you know being from the Isle that means a lot, so shut up and we'll talk" she threats me with flashing green eyes, something that if it wasn't so deadly it would be very attractive. For fear I have no choice but to agree.

"I'll make the question that we both have in mind and which we're dying to have the answer" says Freddie, standing next to Mal and in front of me. "If Jay gets back, if he tries to get you back, would you return to his side?".

I close my eyes and let my imagination begin to wander within the confines of the many possibilities, I let dive into the wide ocean of what I want to achieve and I can't; I let myself to enter in a world of ideals, one that I avoid as far as possible because I prefer to concentrate on the here and now of my existence, but perhaps now I can be more in that world of ideas because I don't have to watch my back before any type of threat.

Scenarios, ideas, future plans, projection to great moments.

Among all that I can't come to a conclusion, I no longer can get to those moments where I see us together, maybe not if I added the context of a couple, but yeah as best friends and companions in wickedness, but rather in an environment where I was the apprentice and he the master in the art of evil.

"I don't know, I really don't know" I answer, trying to sound as honest as possible because it's not something that I had stopped to think clearly, and from now I should think more carefully the things. "There's still something inside me that feels something for him, try to deny it or not, but all I want for now is to go as unnoticed that…".

The door of her dorm opens with a single movement, but the one who's on the other side stops it to not hit the opposite wall. For a moment I thought on Evie coming through the door and shouting against them about not being invited to this spontaneous gathering, but my goal was just to talk to Freddie. Mal is something like a collateral damage and a surprise, one of those nasty ones you have to accept to not seem so rude.

"So… it's true…" Ben says, reassuring his breath a little and then he outlines that moron smile which he always has over him. I really didn't miss seeing that expression.

"Do you have any idea how degenerated you could be for entering to a lady's bedroom unannounced before?" Freddie asks, with sarcasm in every word, while she places a hand gently on her chest, feigning indignation. "Mal could have been in her underwear, or wearing less than that".

"I solemnly apologize to both of you if I came to make you uncomfortable by this surprising situation, but I couldn't go on in the day without confirming what all the photos and the thousands of comments had to say about it".

"Auradon needs to set a couple of rules, such as _privacy_ " Mal rolls her eyes but smiles when Ben places his arm around her shoulders, resting her head on him and widening the unusual smile of… a girl in love.

Did I come to being looked like that when it was the time for Jay and me? I guess I would have been regarded as someone pathetic or something like that, if I put it in the words with which she gets pesky with the neighbor to make it feel terrible and embarrassed by even being alive. Right now I would accept the words.

I can't help but stare at them, in a way perhaps too fixedly and with some stalker trend, while Ben rubs his nose against her cheek. Mal laughs and moves into her place, I can say that somewhat uncomfortable by the surprise act at the same time she feels quite happy to get the kind of actions that before we wouldn't have received nor even in our wildest dreams.

"Well, I don't think King Obvious has come here only to throw at our faces what he feels for the most evil girl from the Isle of the Lost" says Freddie, cutting the tension that began to be generated by my fault. "You come to…?".

"I already said it, I wanted to know if the myths about my buddy were true".

I raise my head when I hear him saying that, and I hadn't realized that I had ducked it. Ben considered me his friend, he really does; perhaps not a closer one, and maybe it's not the kind of friendship that I would have liked to generate, however I'm pleased that he really could see the good side we all have. He really doesn't consider us like our parents.

He splits from Mal and comes over to me, he puts both hands on my shoulders so then he pulls me next to his body, wrapping me in a surprise hug that makes me get stiff (for the surprising act and because Mal is murdering me with her eyes).

I leave my arms inert at my side just like a serious expression on my face, not really knowing what to do, just anxious for him to push me aside once and for all. He seems to hear my thoughts since he ends this with a couple of pats on my back, again he places his hands on my shoulders and gives me a smile, without having to look down to find my eyes.

"I'm really glad to know you're back" he says, sounding horribly genuine in the feeling of joy.

"It's good to be back, I guess" I reply, still a little uncomfortable, but even with all that lot of disturbing emotions I can notice the idea that shines in his head, the same one they have. "And before you even think about it there will _not_ be a celebration about it. I mean it, Ben, I don't want it to happen".

He crosses his arms behind his back, ducking his head down with that smile still present, and I can see that his cheeks get stained with a light pink tone, one that's extended to his ears and a little to the neck. I take a quick look at Mal but she seems more fascinated to see the small period where Ben shows embarrassed than anything else she might feel as threatening.

"Am I that predictable?" he asks to no one in particular, to the floor more than anything because he doesn't bother to raise his head before speaking.

"That's why you're King Obvious, duh" points Freddie, laughing.

"One more joke about it and I swear I'll stop being friendly" Mal threats like for the thousandth time, then she gives a small smile to Ben. "But yes, you are, too much if I think carefully about it".

"Fine, fine, maybe I will not make another joke about it again" I hear Freddie walking, quizzically doing it, and I almost jump up to the ceiling when she places both of her hands behind my shoulders, like if I were a ventriloquist's dummy by which she can speak through. "But I guess King… Ben is here for another reason, perhaps it doesn't include Mal in that".

"You're right once again" he says, cocking a smile. "Since Carlos has forbidden me for doing a celebration I just want to tell him my parents and Fairy Godmother wants to talk directly with him".

To say that I don't feel frightened by what he just said would be a complete lie, so I try to play it cool the better I can. And I can't. I cross my arms and lower my gaze, focusing on the carpet from the floor, in the shoes of both of them, in anything than seeing him.

"W-why?" I ask, hating the stuttering. "I haven't done anything wrong".

"It's not about that, buddy, I swear. You're not in any trouble or any of the others, they just want to know how it happened and all that stuff. It's not my thing, is theirs, and from some rulers of the adjacent kingdoms" I look up just a little, just enough to see his green eyes for a period of two seconds before looking down once again.

"I-I guess that's okay, I j-just need a shower and I'll be r-ready" I shrug my shoulders and I see Mal moving away towards the window, she opens it and puts something in the frame, a small container.

"He'll be glad to go and talk with adults, his favorite kind of people" she crosses her arms, I know because she's one of the few people who I can look into the eyes, the others are Evie and Jay, Freddie too from some time to here", but first I want you to tear this down. I don't care how you do it or if this whole room explodes, just do it".

"But Mal, Carlos can't…".

"Oh, believe me, yes he can" she interrupts him, and before he can say a thing she puts a finger to his lips, besides to distract him enough with a smile.

I stare at my new goal, just for the simple wish to please her and for her to leave me alone for now. Surely there will be some new demand to make her happy tomorrow morning, and even in a couple of hours.

I close my eyes and let out a deep breath, repeating the process a few times, feeling my whole body getting filled with energy, or something like it. It's a warm sensation that runs through every vein, artery and cell in me, the heat doesn't get to become muggy, it remains pleasant all the time.

I open my eyes again and focus my eyes, I stretch out two fingers of my right hand up to my head, making a slight movement with the wrist before seeing how some of my energy goes deployed out from me, not like Mal's fire or the purple smoke from Freddie, it's more likely to a greyish flashing light moving at full speed towards the can.

What I least expected was to see a little bird, one of those common types there are so much around here, stopping right in front of the can, getting the full impact of my attack on his side and falling into the dorm, flapping of in a desperate way and heartbreaking to the sight.

"Oh no…" I mutter, hurrying until I skid next to the little bird. I get it up and I stare at its bleeding wing, the section that remain left without a trace of feathers, the living skin and the veins that still expel the vital liquid.

"Something tells me he will not get over this in a week" growls Freddie.

"In a lifetime" Mal.

"You two shut up or I swear I'll make you beg on your knees and with tears in your faces" I threaten them with a severe and aggressive tone, since I don't receive an answer I take it as an acceptance to the probability of it to happen.

I dedicate my attention back to the little bird, the clumsy little bird still moving in my hands and who decided to settle there at the wrong time. It does it surely dying for the pain it's feeling, for having been attacked in such a vulnerable moment, perhaps without having done anything to anyone else besides from some few worms, their food.

I look at it carefully, noticing its quick breathing and feeling how it trembles in my hands when I pet it, barely touching with the tips of my fingers, using such a light touch that almost seems unreal, like if with a very strong pressure it would be enough to end the life of this dumb bird.

Its quite small compared to those which I have seen jumping around through the gardens, I can assure that this is one of the few occasions when it had ventured out of the nest, and just today it had to stand still in front of one of the tests from Mal against me.

"I'm sorry, little bird, I'm really sorry" I whisper, kneeling on the floor and with the bird next to my body, I still stroke the wounded side of its body while I avoid letting go in tears. That wouldn't be helpful. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't mean to, it was your fault for getting on my way and mine for not being more careful. I'm really sorry".

In a weird turn of the events the little bird starts singing, it recites a tune of just a couple of high notes, but it recites them with weakness, like if it knew that maybe this will be the last that it'll be singing, and that makes my chest to shrink and the crying to tickle more on my eyelids. If this kind of thing will happen to show what I'm capable of, or simply for showing off to someone, then I want nothing to do with magic.

I want nothing to do with it if all I'll achieve will be to hurt something or someone, in this case I don't want to be the one to blame because the bird starving to death, for it to be pushed out from the nest since its recovery will be long, or that it can't continue with the plans that a bird may have. I want it to keep going, it to fly widely in the skies, it to sing and to continue producing more and more little birds; I don't want to be the reason for it to die.

My fingers start to feel warmer than usual, like if I approached my hand to a candle and the fire got attached to me by radiation, one that expels only the good side of the things, the bright side so to speak, the side to which I couldn't get used and now it may be a possibility.

I look down when the tone of the bird changes to one sharp, the tone that sometimes they use when they fly over me in the outside or when they eat under the bushes below the dorm's window. The wounds on its body had healed fully: there's no mark from any of them, none of the sores it had are present anymore, there's no burning either. The quills begin to grow at a fast pace, so much that it almost looks like a video in virtual reality, and because of me thinking about the beauty of the brown feathers it has makes that, in a couple of blinks, they again be as long as before.

I stroke its head when it moves in the palm of my hand, stretching the wing out like if it were corroborating that everything is in its place. I again place it in the window frame to undertake flight, jumping to extend its limbs and take the first air stream to join a small flock that was passing by at the precise moment from its sudden recovery.

I get up and turn on my heels, finding three spectators watching me with eyes and mouths wide open, about the point where the saliva is closer to start falling from their mouths. I look down at my boots before crossing my arms and shrug, feeling myself icy even though the sun shines horribly on the outside, odd considering it's almost sundown. Now I get why Mal hates sunlight.

"Then Carlos can do magic" concludes Ben, being the first one to break the awkward silence.

"And he can do both dark and white magic, an interesting combination" Mal adds, being one of the two experts on the subject.

"Now I have a couple of questions, but I think the most important thing is you to talk to Fairy Godmother and my parents".

"Yeah, I suppose I will, Ben".

I cock a smile before leaving the dorm with casual step, and when I go out into the hallway I run to mine. I really need a shower, maybe that will get me warm since my previous source is no longer one I want by my side.

* * *

I stare at myself in the mirror while I finish drying the excess of water out of my hair, holding tight the knot from the towel I have in my waist. I actually feel somewhat concerned about the circles around my eyes, and it's silly from me to expect them to disappear from one day to the other, but they're something like a reminder of the time when I was absent, when I stopped being a living part of the world and went to fall into the realm of Hades.

I hope I can really erase them with a few nights of sleep, if I have to ever feel tired or sleepy.

I leave the bathroom and I stand in front of my dresser, listening to Dude while he's playing with one of his favorite toys. I take a clean pair of underwear, shorts with the colorful pattern that's so characteristic in me and that was designed by Evie, with a little help from me, a black shirt with white buttons, and my favorite jacket.

I drop the towel down to the floor and kick it aside before I slip myself inside the underwear, still drying some water droplets sliding behind my ears and from my back before throwing the towel next to the other. I get interrupted when I hear someone's gasp, and since it's easy to guess who it came from I only roll my eyes before turning on my heels.

Jay has a band aid on his nose that's holding a pair of gauzes that should have some liquid or ointment to reduce the evident swelling of his nose, which causes the pain in my hand to come back. However his gaze is firmly over me, if I'm more accurate he has it in my waist, and it's until I clear my throat when he looks into my eyes, he scratches the back of his neck, I notice the blush that stains his cheeks, and that combination would have made my knees to tremble in a not so distant time before throwing myself into his arms.

He indeed is losing his effects on me.

"Shouldn't you be in tourney practice?" I inquire because, as far as I can remember, there wasn't a change in the practice schedule.

"I-it ended before, a-and I'm happy to have come b-back sooner".

"I think you shouldn't have went to practice either, after all you have a nose somewhat injured" «and I hope it still hurts».

"D-don't forget t-that I'm a tough guy, although I admit it h-hurts a little".

"And why are you stuttering?" I arch an eyebrow, funny and unease from this.

"I d-don't feel quite comfortable g-giving you an explanation about all t-that's happening in my imagination r-right now".

I don't give him an answer, I take my time to finish getting dressed since I walk to and fro in the dorm, I take away Dude's toy to throw it and for him to give it back to me before me throwing it again in one of his favorite games he has with me, also because I love to hear him saying how much he missed having someone to play with.

I put on a clean pair of socks and my favorite boots when I decide that the sooner I talk to the 'leaders' of the Prep the sooner I will do whatever I can do to entertain myself and to get done with the enormous burden of tasks that I must deliver in this next following days. I put the jacket over and that makes the heat that the shower gave me to stay more in my body, which makes me shudder by the pleasant sensation.

"A-are you going somewhere?" I look back at him through the mirror, and I swear that pillow on his lap wasn't there a second ago.

"Fairy Godmother, Belle and Beast want to talk with me" he arches his right eyebrow a bit, asking for a more explanatory response because of the sharpness of my communication with him. "Ben didn't give me many details itself, he just said they wanted to talk to me. Surely it's about seeing me again here, or maybe they think I wanted to pull up a prank on the whole kingdom and I'll get punished".

"I also would like to talk about it, I have many questions and…".

"Maybe someday I'll answer them, if you don't go to Freddie before, but right now I have to go" I walk with purposefully steps toward the door, I take the doorknob but his hand appears on one side of my head, pushing it to close it again. I close my eyelids and take a deep breath before turning on my heels, watching his dark irises on the spot.

I'm surprised for not seeing the smirk tensing all the factions in his face, or not seen the way in which he usually plays with his eyebrows to make me laugh. He remains serious, his gaze travels on every corner of my face, his lips are on a firm, expressionless line, the muscles from his jaw doesn't show that is clenched, and his eyebrows remain relaxed.

I enjoy at the same time I hate the closeness, the closeness of his body to mine and the feelings that it triggers. I don't want to be at his mercy again.

"I missed you" he says, his words barely make the muscles in his face to move. He seems wanting to stay as expressionless as me.

"You already said that" to that he moves his arm down and now the only thing keeping me here is expecting him to not repeat the same speech he gave him a punch on the nose. A need perhaps is also involved in this? I couldn't say.

"Did you miss me?" he asks with insufferable sincerity.

I relax my shoulders while I limit myself to look at him in the eyes, noting how he begins to move them in a minimally visible way, but being the proof of his need for a concrete response and the anguish he's experimenting by whatever I can say as an answer. I don't think they're going to be many times when he can experience anxiety, but this being one of them satisfies me.

"I wasn't going on a walk through the woods, Jay".

"I know, you left, you left indeed, longer than in all those occasions when you did it at home".

Home. The Isle is not my home.

Since then I had the tendency to hide from everyone and everything that is a danger, or what I perceive as such, and I did it more than anything from the people around me, especially to try to hide the times I had bruises on my face or scratch marks, slapping or pinching from mom.

Mal and Evie never took interest on me doing it, they knew I would always return the next morning with lots of excuses about what happened to me, that in one way or another I would keep going even though I were in pain or eager to not get up again in a whole week. They knew it, but Jay always showed himself somehow frightened by the possibility of me from not returning.

He didn't expressed it directly, he almost never expresses such things directly, but according to the girls he was wondering where I would be, if they had seen me earlier in the day, and even they commented he interrupted a couple of shoplifting to prowl around my house, expecting to hear mom's voice while she shouted at me hundreds of chores to be done.

He knew where I would flee, he knew he could find in the vacant lot next to that we called as school, in the caves that could be illuminated by sunlight, or even prowling around the surrounding areas from the dead forest. He knew it, and anyway I always had to find a new hiding place because I didn't like being in a mood and so deplorable physical condition in front of him.

I used to hide from everything and everyone for a couple of hours, or a couple of days; the long I lasted hiding were two weeks, eating more junk than usual and with a place to sleep with another bunch of kids living on the streets. Jay found me one day before my planned return, forcing me to go back home and promising him that I wouldn't disappear without leaving a notice anymore.

At that time I promised not to do it, for him, and I made him to get encrypted messages about my location so they wouldn't be deciphered by some stranger and for him to not be anxious.

Those were pretty fun times for us, and now I wish to come back to that part of my life in which I could cope with what was happening in my daily life, not now that every day seems to bring a specious challenge with every sunrise.

"You haven't answered me yet" he sighs, defeated.

"It's because I don't have an answer".

I'll call my intuition but my protection comes out at the time when he leans down to kiss me with closed eyelids, he found himself directly with the same electrified protection that came out with Mal, although I don't understand why that happens. The electroshock he receives on such a sensitive section of his face makes him to take a leap of almost two meters backwards, he covers his lips and I hear him cursing under his breath, narrowing his eyes at me.

We don't say anything else, we just stay there looking at each other, he with a expression hard to decipher on his face, I just go back to take the doorknob and leave the dorm, hearing the cries from Dude before my departure. Another way out, another avoidance, although I really don't have much to say about what just happened.

I walk with my head high, taking long but not hasty steps, I don't make eye contact with anyone since the sound of the cameras when they get turned on and the whispers are enough to fill my patience.

I turn on the front hallway to the lobby of the main building when I collide with Audrey, just with her it had to happen. We stumble back a bit but we remain standing, I look at her into the eyes and arch my right eyebrow, she settles her dress and rolls her eyes, crossing her arms under her breasts.

If it comes to anatomy why Jay chose her firstly then I know I wouldn't have been able to compete against her, and if it is about something else then it's true that I still wonder what he saw in me, besides cowardice, fear and a tiny little size, best friends or whatever, but one reason.

"Just when I thought the VK's couldn't be more weird they start coming out from the grave and scare everyone around here" she grumbles, wrinkling her nose and moving backwards a couple of steps, "I hope you don't have some kind of disease or lethal infection, if so then I'm more than willing to ask Ben to send you back to the Isle".

"Oh, so since your plan with Jay didn't worked out, it's now when you go back to recur to Ben?" now I cross my arms, ready for this talk.

"Mal took Benny-boo away from me, she was the one who started all this".

"You really don't seem like the kind of person anyone would want at their side for a long time" I start walking forward while I keep our aggressive eye contact and ignoring the passersby people watching us in amazement, "you're unbearable, too spoiled to my taste and for anyone's, it's easy to despise you and easier to hate you, so if I hear something else coming from you about the VK's I swear you'll know the worst side of each of them, and from me".

With my new height now she seems tiny in size, I'm almost one head taller than her, and if I add the certainty with which I spoke then I understand perfectly why she's now trembling in her place.

I also notice people who are coming closer to us, like if at any time I were about to attack her or something worse, and it's under consideration, but since I don't want to be a direct player in this I only move to the right and follow my way, not without thinking about the heavy armor falling on her.

The crashing confirms me that I just did it, and the cries asking for help make me to move faster while I laugh too. Now I do accept that magic will do that sort of things.

I walk to the west wing of the Prep, according to what said Ben's message a couple of minutes ago, and I enter in the first room to the left, again according to what his message as the order his parents gave him.

When I set one foot inside all the hubbub of the room gradually gets muted, whispers are barely enough to break the silence that comes after it. In front of me there's a simple wooden chair, surrounded by banners with the symbol plus the characteristic colors from Auradon and from the royal family, in front of a wall and next to one end of the room; on the other side there's practically each and every one of the rulers of the kingdoms, each with their respective partners or alone, but their firm eyes gets directed on me at the time when I decide to make an appearance.

Some of these people, three or four among the nearly twenty persons here, are looking at me with something like concern, not for being a villain or for be on the other side of the room, but rather by seeing me in other decadent and submissive state. That makes me feel scared of what might happen, if it's on their verdict; to mitigate that and some reaction from my magic without control I breathe deep.

Amid all people there's Belle, Beast and Ben, holding an arduous and earnest discussion even when the new and clumsy king sees me coming inside the place. Our eyes meet for a moment but then he deviates them, however it's obvious the moment when his face darkens and his posture gets bent, like if he also felt outraged at this.

"Carlos" Fairy Godmother makes me to take a jump when I see her approaching from my left, smiling and hurrying to wrap me in a hug with her short limbs. Now I have to duck my head to place my chin on her shoulder, when I return the hug she sighs in a trembling way, almost like if she were about to cry; another not brilliant idea. "Oh, honey, I can't believe you're really here with us. It's a miracle".

"Ben never mentioned anything about a trial" I whisper when I'm the one who breaks our hug, she looks at me in the eyes and takes my cheeks, making me notice that I'm shaking.

"Take it easy, honey, this isn't a trial" she caresses my right cheek with the back of her fingers, further exacerbating my sudden trembling, "I give you my word that you will not be sent back to the Isle, nobody will, they just want to make a couple of questions about how it happened, and…".

"I demand him to be sent back to the hellhole where he came from!".

We all turn out heads toward the swinging doors at the backs of all the kings and queens. Princess Aurora comes at full speed in the room, there are a few tears streaming down her cheeks while she fights against Prince Philip for her to stop and there's no fuss about it.

"That boy hurt my daughter, he hurt my little Audrey".

Just what I needed, a panic rising.

Before the doors get closed behind them I can see some curious stares trying to meddle inside the room, all those people who were watching seem to be ready and wanting to know what will happen to me. Chad stands out among all of them, because of the smile of a bastard and darling boy he broadly outlines, and I'm sure the story Aurora holds got altered because of him.

"All right, let's all calm down" Fairy Godmother says, approaching to the enraged princess and worried prince, "I'm sure there's a consistent explanation to whatever that happened".

"An armor fell on her just when he was talking to her, it's obvious that he's the guilty guy" she accuses me, pointing at me with her hand.

"I didn't do it, I swear" I snap, frowning and trying to show a facet of lying boy, something that I hope I can pull out right.

"He's right" Ben gets up, serious and willing to stand up for me at the expense of his parents trying to stop him by holding the sleeves of his clothes, "those armors are horribly old, it's not the first time that one of them falls just like that, so I'm sure that's what happened".

"I demand the evidence from the security cameras" says Philip, finally taking participation in the discussion that his princess wants to stand.

"So it'll be, but now we are here to discuss major issues" comes back to say Fairy Godmother, making them to finally get seated.

She approaches to the empty seat next to Ben and his family, he returns to take his place while I force myself to take mine, at the midpoint where all the accusers' gestures will be released.

This must be the place where the older students take their classes about Jurisprudence and Laws, here must be where the trials were held before sending people to the Isle of the Lost, and where I'm sure they keep happening to send more and more people who managed to hide in those years to find them before they reach their fateful destination.

"Carlos de Vil, is that your name?" Fairy Godmother asks, and I can almost see the rolling of her eyes to the questions that she reads from a sheet of paper.

"Uh… yeah, I am" I say, with obviousness.

"Carlos, you are here today because of the recent concerns that have arisen because of your recent… uh, return among the dead ones" she says, trying to sound sweet although fair since she couldn't find a kinder way of saying that part and trying to keep a position only for all the person who are awaiting for a verdict, if that's what they're looking for. "Would you care to tell to us a little about what happened?".

I take a deep breath once again, controlling the different states in which my body flows through for getting so many looks. I would love to cringe here, or turn myself invisible to avoid this uncomfortable situation.

"I… uh, I couldn't explain it very well, I honestly don't know how to explain".

"We know that prince Benjamin brought from his unexpected visit to the Isle of the Lost to the daughter of another villain, Freddie Facilier. Is that right?".

"Yeah, that's true too" I move into my place, knowing where this will end up, in search of new people whom they can blame for the new tragedies.

"For those who don't know of it, Dr. Facilier is an avid practitioner of voodoo magic" announces Tiana, standing up just to say that, crossing her arms and being comforted by Naveen to forget those times when she took a direct hit from his dark magic.

"Thanks for pointing, princess Tiana" says Fairy Godmother, struggling to stay on paper and not dismiss all this meeting. "Is it also true that, prior to your tragic accident, you made a holdup to my office and you employed the magic protected in potions?".

She says that without paying much attention to the paper she has in her hands, like if that was something she wanted to know for her, to corroborate.

"Yeah, that happened, Fairy Godmother and all these people present, so that I apologize, I wasn't thinking in a clear way when I got those extremes" I duck my head, frowning. "With that said I think my return happened because of the magic coming from the potion Hidden Talents".

Everyone starts to mumble between them, the royal family and Fairy Godmother are staring at me, like if all the information I'm giving out were like a rope that I'm just laying around my neck. Even with everything she said I'm not sure about that this isn't a trial.

"Cruella de Vil does not have any magical ability".

The new voice, gentle, friendly and with a similar accent that Ally has, makes me feel chills, not because it sounds threatening or ready to rant against me, but rather by how surprised it seems. I look towards the rear of the present people, watching how a woman just about forty years old stands up, taking the hand of a man who's looking at me with a firm gesture.

For the photographs that mom has at home, which have crosses instead of eyes and darts embedded in its face, I can identify her. Anita Radcliffe is part of the audience, like her husband Roger, the direct victims of the atrocities committed by mom at her time of freedom.

"Don't let old resentments to be part of this" Aurora says in a bored tone, almost like if she we about to yawn.

"I'm serious, she had no magical ability or something, so that he couldn't have inherited the propensity to cast it" she looks into my eyes and walks toward me so much she kneels in front of me, she takes my hands in hers and smiles to me. "You don't look like her… you're… you're… an innocent boy".

Her words make me feel flattered, finally someone can see beyond what mom did, beyond the reputation that precedes me someone can see the person which I tried to be regardless of the past.

I smile back at her and I give a slight squeeze in her hands, she caresses the back of my hands with her thumbs, like if with that she were kind of trying to communicate some kind of silent forgiveness, offhandedly that mom was about to kill her favorite pets to make another stupid coat.

"Well then, if his mother didn't inherited him that then…".

"It was his father" Evie's voice makes us split up, some closeness of which I hadn't noticed, like if we were about to hug, until she stands up while I only keep myself in my place, watching how she approaches with a thick book under her arm and Doug behind her.

"Evie, this is a private meeting, so I ask you…".

"I'm sorry if I sound rude for what I'm about to tell you, Fairy Godmother, but this is something that includes my best friend, and I will do everything possible to protect him since before I couldn't do it".

Evie places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a smile that's showing her perfect white teeth, then she takes a more serious expression by putting the book over a table, raising a cloud of dust from between the sheets of paper and opening where a red ribbon split it.

"This is one of the many records about the people you sent to the Isle" Evie says, using her usual tone of voice but with some poison impregnated therein. Anita and a couple of curious persons come to see the sheets that she's showing, I also get up but I stand behind her, now being easier for me to see over her shoulder.

"It was difficult but we were able to trace his background and when it was the time when he and Cruella procreated Carlos".

I stay quiet when they start telling the history of the best man I ever got to know before he too was part of the dead ones.

According to the records, and the story that Fairy Godmother tells along with Belle and Beast about the memories they have about the first trials that were done, dad (Cael, a name that remained inside my head but that was hard for me to be able to remember it) was an ordinary person, he had a large number of jobs, from mending shoes, deliver mail, to a time when he was part of the squad of guardians from the castle.

He was never a troubled man, he was someone kind, gentle and polite, he was raised by the few farmers that remain in Auradon but he took the initiative to find great opportunities, moving to the capital of the kingdom. He was a participant in the many festivities that were made and are still being performed for various reasons, according to them being his favorites the Blue Festival and the upcoming celebrations to be held in the winter. He used what little magical energy he had when it was necessary to perform tasks that not multiple men hand nor machinery couldn't resolve quickly.

His trial was due to a technicality, the usual 'being in the wrong place at the wrong time' kind of thing for holding ambivalent friendly relationships with a couple of people, being prone to live with difficult people. In a raid made on a clandestine canteen, to where he had attended merely for his friends to not say to him that he was a coward or similar things, he was taken as a prisoner when it was the time of the attack against the villains, where the persecution orchestrated by former king Beast was paying off. Dad had left his job as a guard at the castle a week earlier, defending himself from the surprise attack by using his magic to appear or disappear at different places of the kingdom, or to lift barricades that ultimately could be torn down with more powerful magic than his. He did all that with the hope of getting better payment and a better quality of life, longing to stay in the kingdom since he had something big in mind, an idea that everyone here pursue.

A family, a real one, that was his biggest dream when he was kept as prisoner before being prosecuted, and when he knew his verdict he was resigned to not being able to get it in a place full of malice.

In the bi-monthly reports they had to held to the guards, his former colleagues and allies, when they cared what was happening on the Isle, he had to report his status in life, in which he was working and if he had some kind of romantic relationship with someone. For five years there was no such information, he didn't have a job, some source of income, hell, he didn't even have a place to sleep that wasn't on the streets.

Halfway through the fifth year, on the last moment in which Auradon cared about what was happening on the Isle, he filled the report that had changed everything: he was married for a month ago and they were waiting for a baby. His marriage with Cruella de Vil.

Hearing that part of dad's life, one that only the history and the past know makes me get down to a couple of conclusions, being one the most important now that magic is part of me and I can perform it without troubles. I can choose, I do have a greater chance to choose between the paths I want to follow, unlike them because they have completely evil roots.

I'm bad _and_ good, it's in my veins to be ambivalent. I'm not like Mal, Evie, Jay or Freddie, once again I come back to be a different freak.

Evie displays a few pictures during the explanation that's complemented with the findings by Evie and Doug, in a moment of distraction from all of them I take one of them and hide it in my back pocket, giving it a look at the big brown eyes, the small layer of freckles covering his cheeks, his curly hair and smile he outlines despite his excessively thin appearance.

"I propose that Carlos gets trained in the use of his magical abilities, he have a couple of friends who can do it" snaps Ben, rubbing his eyes like a small child who wants to take a nap. I used to do that same thing when gaming sessions with dad were becoming longer than usual, when we sang longer and he taught me more dance steps.

I wish I could turn time back to get more good memories of him.

"It seems like a viable option for everyone who's gathered together in this room, but his teachers can't be Mal or Freddie, the two of them are still in need to be directed to the path of goodness, just like our dear Evie here does" she smiles upon hearing her name in this, but then she frowns when she understands the contempt towards the girls coming from Fairy Godmother. "I offer myself as his teacher, so that the Blue Festival preparations can proceed without any kind of delay, and also, if you all want it that way, I can keep some watch over the kids from the Isle".

Everything goes back to plunge into silence, now it isn't one of discomfort, now the talks are limited to small groups to decide which is the best way so that the kingdom might suit to us.

Evie takes the book and holds Doug's hand, exchanging a smile that almost makes Doug to begin to float above the ground. Evie splits they contact to turn in my direction, she stretches her arms and I rush to wrap her in an hug, sighing in her neck and burying my nose in her hair.

"You're the best, and you didn't have to do something like this" I split us and hold her forearms. "How did you know I needed you? Why you researched about dad?".

"Mal told me that Ben's parents wanted to talk to you, I was told very little about the magic that you now possess, and I want to see it" she winks her right eye. "I also thought you might like to know a little about the life of your dad before being sent to the Isle, only because it took you enough to start the research".

"School kept me busy, going away too, and I didn't think there may be some record about him" she stretched her arms, with the book in her hands, "and now it seems I may have something to read at night" I look at Doug over her shoulder, who also looks me back, "besides of thinking about how to develop that computer program".

"That's my lab partner" he dedicates me a smile and thumbs up from both hands.

He moves closer to give me a pat on the back, then Fairy Godmother clears her throat, catching our attention back.

"They all agree on me to teach you how to use your magic for the best of purposes, not for what your parents have taught you have to do in the passing years".

"We're not like our parents" I say just like Evie, smiling a little because of how synchronized our minds are.

"I think it's great that you think so, we'll begin as soon as possible after the Blue Festival is over this weekend" another one to the long list of festivities that take place in Auradon, one to be held in two days from now, at night, and which I have no idea of its origin. I'll ask later.

"I agree with their terms".

"Then this is the end of the meeting" before Aurora could bring again the issue to the table Fairy Godmother raises a hand to interrupt her. "We'll be very aware of what happens from now on, for now we will focus on the celebration that's coming".

Literally the topic of the conversation completely changes to the celebration, and since nobody seems to be giving us more importance, though I would like to talk to Anita and Roger to apologize for what mom did against them, we leave the courtroom.

We walk out towards the cafeteria, we take a couple of desserts and we sit near a window, where I limit myself to slowly eat the slice of chocolate cake I took while I hear them talking about the upcoming tests and their plan to be each other date for the Festival.

The question arises in my head when I look at my hands and see that flashing grayish light on my palms: so now what?

* * *

 **A/N** : keep giving me ideas, I use them as far as possible for the fic to be more for your liking :)


	14. I lofe you

Next chapter! It's already decided, the next chapter will be the end of this story, and I must admit that I have the idea for it, I just need to get it out, and since I finally finished with the semester in school I can do it soon. I already know about the spelling mistake in the title of this chapter, but you'll find out the reason why it is named so. Fav, follow or review, and without further else to say enjoy :)

* * *

 **I lofe you**

I'm not the kind of person who asks for a lot of things, or the kind of person who receives the small amount he asks for, so having asked Ben for a single dorm and that such an event actually happened only an hour later it's something like an achievement, a great achievement. One to the short list of my achievements.

I finish spinning around with redoubled step at the same time the music ends, I take a deep breath so then I drop on the bed and look at the ceiling, then I turn my head to the left, to the right, so then I place my arms behind my head while I close my eyelids.

It's always good to take a little break after exercising, and dancing is my way of exercising, since I finally quit the tourney team since I simply can't keep doing something that I don't like, besides that now I can do it in my dorm, in a single dorm. Freedom.

It's not a very large place, in fact my room on the Isle is, at least, a third larger than this place, or so it's how I remember it, however the few things I have brought and those that brought the guards sent by Ben for my moving on are mine, I have got them or they have been given to me.

I have a wide and comfortable bed, with soft sheets that will wait for me every night although it's about the same size as the last one. I was expecting a bigger one.

Sunlight comes in through the abundance of windows, about five if I count the small skylight on the ceiling, the view from the outside allows me to see a fraction of the citadel, a castle that seems to be tiny at the end of a large forest, and the movement of the ocean along with the boats that furrow it.

Curiously I can't see the Isle, not unless I pull out my head and stretch the neck enough to distinguish it by its yellowish glow between the trees. The dorm is located on the first floor, more or less I think it's at the same height as the shared one, and perhaps the only disadvantage of all this is that I should have to use the communal bathroom to shower and everything else.

I don't feel that kind of complexed about my body, in that way I will overcome it.

I reach out to gropingly take my cell phone from the nightstand, I draw the unlock pattern and get into the texts.

I stare at it, realizing that I only used it out of necessity and nothing more than that, just to take spare pictures of me or the advances of some of my inventions, or just to use some applications and games.

Jay had it in his possession when I stopped being with him and with everyone else, it had the pattern since then and he memorized it in a matter of a single second, and it still seems that it was yesterday when I saw him at night, sliding his finger over the screen and looking carefully at each picture again and again, laughing with sad tears in his eyes, confused when he saw the progress of what I did or the images I sent to Doug and the guys from the Mechatronics team.

The rise of his emotional expression occurred when he saw the photos and the video I took when he was on his knees, asking, panting and rolling over himself on that day when Mal conjured the spell where she turned everyone into dogs. Every time he got to that part he moved the phone aside, he held a pillow against his body and curled himself up, when he began to wonder to himself why I had made that decision and why he had pushed me to do it.

I just watched him until the cry made him fall asleep, the next morning he eliminated all traces of 'weakness' and continued with his day to day.

I snort and turn my attention to the phone, only to find three messages that the sound of the music didn't let me hear when they arrived. Nothing important.

Mal: _Jay asked about you and why your crap isn't in his dorm anymore. In the language of Auradon I'll tell ya to be careful, unless you want me to intervene and kill him once and for all. ;)_

Ben: _Hey, buddy. I hope the dorm is to your liking, and I also hope we could talk soon, you know where to find me. :)_

Ally: _I don't know if the rumors are true or not, and I don't know why I'm expecting an answer to this if I'm not sure what I'm doing, yet I don't know anyone smarter than you, not even Doug. Anyway, I have a Physics test very soon, could you help me to study a little and clarify some things? I would greatly appreciate it._

I roll my eyes and snort again, I text back to Mal to don't do anything against him (yet), that I'll do something or some explanation I'll come to me to say that I'm making drastic decisions to both and for both of us, one of them is being a Little detachment between us so we can both breathe.

Yeah, I feel suffocated by everything I'm doing in Jay and the confusing way he approaches to me wanting to communicate himself without knowing the words or the right way to do it, but doing it anyway.

I've learned on the hard way that too much proximity can leave some serious consequences, like in the case of two atoms that are about to make an atomic bomb to explode once and for all and it to erase all traces of the things that were around it, and every one of the things that are around me are too good so that proximity, besides the mistakes made by two people, were enough to erase all the traces of those things.

It wouldn't be fair to any of the parties.

And it's not fair for me.

I text back to Ben that I feel good, comfortable with the extra space I have, and that in any time that he has available we can talk so that little friendship between us isn't lost.

Right now I could begin to make a list about the people I can consider close to me again, friends and enemies, good ones and bad ones; split up each and every one of the different relationships I've formed in this couple of months, but that would involve thinking, thinking carefully about everything I've gone through so far, how they behaved in my absence, and how they do it now. In some way I would have to limit my life into a huge set of zeros and ones, something like a binary code in which no other factor can be made present or it would mess up the origin that things should have, the way in which everything is planned or, supposedly , it should follow according to a plan.

Thinking is painful, observing the details from a certain distance is it since it allows to see a very different nuance, besides for me the fact of thinking about the part of relations has always been somewhat difficult because a fear that, if I got very fond with something or with someone then some other superior force that exceeds me will be in charge to destroy it, to remove it from me.

Mom was that force.

She's no longer here, with me, there's no way she can leave the Isle, there's no way she can force me to do things I don't want to, to think and act in a way that doesn't seem entirely mine, like a puppet.

I don't have to fear anything else, now I'm a free boy who can do whatever he wants and act as he wants. I shouldn't be afraid. I shouldn't be afraid. I shouldn't be afraid. But… do I really shouldn't fear? It would be strange for me not having to look over my shoulder at any kind of threat.

But now I have the magic of dad with me, that makes me think seriously about the possibility of a complete freedom.

I text back to Ally that she can come over at any time, I specify her the location of the dorm, and drop the phone without some kind of remorse to the floor, listening a dry sound when it hits. It's not like I care.

I place an arm over my eyes and start thinking about the festival coming in this next weekend, the Blue Festival. According to what I read in the library and in the electronic collection it is one of the oldest celebrations around here, it went from being a small celebration that took place in each of the kingdoms, in which there was a humble offering to, it's not difficult to guess, the Blue Fairy, for it to become something completely opposed to humility, becoming stunning, something with fireworks, too much joy, loud music, and a great opportunity for all of them to release some academic tension (the latter as I heard it from the students who only see that day as a break).

It receives the name both for the Fairy and for the fact that it coincides with an environmental phenomenon called 'blue hour', where there is neither daylight nor total darkness, only a period of time where the ambient light is enigmatically dyed from a light blue hue. Also, according to one legend, it's at that time in which those people with the most honest and pure hearts can make a wish, and it will be granted if their intentions are totally good.

In some universe thinking about that possibility would make anyone skeptical, but this is Auradon, magic happens in the least expected place, or it can reach the least expected person. I am a good example of that.

I remove my arm and rub my fingers against the palms, awakening the grayish current and seeing how it moves over my skin, the brightness is of such intensity that it produces a barely visible trace on my face.

This way of seeing it is new to me, I got used to seeing magic in the form of Mal's green glow, Freddie's purple smoke, Jordan's golden snaps, Jane's bluish flashes, or being channeled into objects, but never in an image like this. Oneness, yeah, that must be the essence in each of the people who have magic, each one pf them must be unique in their own way.

I interrupt my thoughts because of knockings on the door, two knocks, a pause, and two more knocks.

I stop the music, which stays about two meters away from me, and I stand up. While I walk towards the door the things around me are moving, at my will: the books that were scattered around the dorm begin to pile on the desk and at the foot of the bed, the notes and the few books I have about Physics stand open on the mattress, the windows get closed and some clothes go back to their place in the chest of drawers.

I hold the knob with my whole hand when the movements stop, which allows me to smile broadly.

I don't need a tutor to learn how to control my magic, all I need is to know that I have control and that almost nothing can beat me.

I say almost nothing to not close the door to any possibility, such as being hit by a car or sent to the Isle at the slightest provocation.

"Who's there?" I ask, something I should have done before even thinking about getting up.

"Oh, it's me, Ally" she replies with her peculiar accent and half yawn.

I put down the barrier that I set against the door, it was there because he could enter when I least expected him by knocking it down with his shoulder or with a kick, as in his failed attempt to enter the museum, and I open it a little to be able to see Ally, with her blue eyes about to close, disheveled except for a sloppy ponytail, with circles almost as dark as mine around her eyes, and with such a physical appearance that can be termed as terrible.

The school year is getting the best of her.

"I know, I look like a complete disaster" she says, yawning and stretching just like if she had just gotten out of bed.

"I wasn't going to say anything about it, so…".

"You thought it, I could see it written on your face, but that's okay, there are those who have no tact to say it" she doesn't have makeup and seems to be dressed the first thing she could find at hand. Until not long ago, maybe half-week ago, she was walking down the hallways glistening in her bright blue sky dresses, like if she could face anything the school threw at her, "but this test is going to be a great weight I will take off from my shoulders once I approve it".

"Then let's not waste any more time".

I open the door completely so that she can come in, before she could finish doing so she approaches towards me to surround me with her thin and short arms, she tilts her head so that her ear is leaning against my heart. She sighs.

I let the door close slowly while I return her the action, passing my arms over her shoulders and placing my cheek over her head, enjoying when she begins to move a little sideways and laughs a little. I like Ally, she's the kind of girl who does the things that she has in her head, a bit impulsive maybe, but without getting to be a total freak.

"It's good to know you're back, because I didn't believe it until now".

"And I'm not going anywhere" we move apart and her bright eyes stare at me, we both begin to smile and that's when I notice that light pink tone that shines in her cheeks, something that she doesn't stand for a long time since she looks down and moves her body away from mine. "Fine then, let's prepare that test".

Somehow she seems to surrender to what she was thinking since she smiles, with something like a hint of sadness, and she keeps walking until she sits on her knees in my bed, flipping through the notes I made to fall there.

Does Ally like me? Does Ally like me as Jane did/does?

It wasn't me who left stuff clear to Jane, Jay did, and with all that I caused then I don't think they can see each other's faces, just like with Audrey. However I feel bad for provoking things in her, and if it is the case now with Ally then I also have to clarify the situation. For her sake.

I swallow the tense knot that suddenly forms in my throat and walk with more confidence than the one I have, I move swinging my arms more than the necessary and pretending like if nothing strange was going on through my head.

Acting casual still isn't a thing that comes to me naturally.

"So, Physics, huh?" «subtlety isn't my thing either».

"Yes, I really don't know what I was thinking, I thought it would be simple".

"I've never heard anyone think of it as something simple, rather like something everyone would fled, like us when we were passing by" I say while I also sit on my knees on the mattress, watching her while she frowns at my notes and laughing at my lousy comments. Oh, Ally.

"I'm not what many people would call as an ordinary girl, I'm intrigued by many things that happen here and in Wonderland. That's why I chose that elective, I want to know a little about the physics of alternate dimensions".

"Is that a thing?" I ask, really surprised that there's something with a name that would make many people irritable.

"Of course it does, my mother talked to me about it, she studied it to give a more scientific sense to the trips she made to Wonderland without everyone thinking she was crazy or something similar" she looks at me in the eyes with each word, her jaw clenched like if she thought I'm judging her, or her mother.

"Okay, like that I understand your motivation a little more" I say, ducking my head, as I usually do with Dude before he decides to get nuts and attack for no apparent reason. "Tell me what you want me to help you with".

She smiles once more and begins to explain to me the doubts she has had since the beginning of the semester, from one moment to the next we get into a deep talk about the theorems and theories, mechanics, electromagnetism, properties of matter, relativity, particle physics, Linear algebra, geometry, calculation and applied mathematics, we practically apply one or two exercises of each one of them to clarify things that are left behind and to solve new ideas that I hadn't got before without having done a review like this.

Ally is good, very good, she's able to understand the theory perfectly, each of the concepts and definitions that we review she couples them in her memory and recites them even if we read a lot of time ago. In the applied exercises she makes some mistakes and corrects them before I can even got to remark them, she's never exasperated if she doesn't succeed and she's always willing to tell me if I'm wrong in something that I'm also doing. Reciprocal learning.

Maybe we can't have anything more than this, if it is what she has in mind or if the predictions that are in my head are real, but at least I can get a friend that is an intellectual challenge.

"What momentum means?" I ask, reading one of the many text cards that we made to speed up her review and punctuate the most important things. I glance at the clock on my nightstand, and I didn't think we'd take that long in this; eleven o'clock sharp.

"It is a magnitude of vector type that describes the movement of a body, or in other words is the amount of movement product of the mass of the body and its speed at a given time".

"Correct, I think it's a good definition, albeit a bit confusing at the beginning" I say, moving on to the next card, waiting for the moment when I can feel tired once again. Today will be another long night in full vigil until the sun rises on the horizon, "now tell me: in a very simplistic way, how would you define Vaschy-Buckingham's theorem and what would be its usefulness?".

"I have a feeling that's one of the hardest, and it's something that surely will be asked to send many of us to the slaughterhouse" she says, making me laugh for a real reason. "In a very basic way it states that given a physical relationship expressible by an equation, where there are _n_ physical quantities or variables, and if those variables are expressed in terms of dimensionally independent physical quantities, then the original equation can be written equivalently as an equation with a series of n-k dimensionless numbers constructed with the original variables" I nod with my head while she responds and I look at her closely, fascinated to see the dedication that she's putting in all this. "Its main utility would be to reduce a dimensional problem to a dimensionless one with fewer parameters".

"This test will be the simplest thing for you, I'm pretty sure you're gonna get the highest grade of them all" we look at each other in the eyes for a moment and I give her a smile, receiving one as a way of thanking for the compliment. "Okay, next question…".

"Let's take a break for a moment, my brain hurts for all I have to memorize, and the test is practically at the beginning of the day" she snaps, rubbing her temples to emphasize her words.

"In fact the brain doesn't feel pain, nothing actually, it's the nerve endings of the skull what communicate the painful sensation".

"Are you talking serious?" her voice sounds like if she has just acquired a curious data with which she can engage in conversation.

"I swear it, I had to read about it to write down an essay, and the same goes to the lungs and stomach, the pain comes from nerve endings around the problem zone".

"I'll write that at the end of my test, if I don't approve in Physics at least I'll have something about general knowledge and curious data" I laugh once more at her comment, she indeed makes me laugh.

"I'm sure they'll take that into account, and I could use a break".

Without need of another word she makes the notes and the books aside, she looses her hair from the sloppy ponytail so that she can lie down completely on my mattress, she crosses her hands on her stomach and plays with her feet, moving them from one side to the other in intervals of three seconds.

I do the same thing as she and I lean on her shoulder, my face literally next to hers when she lifts her head over my shoulder, while we remain silent we both look at the ceiling and we hear the sound of crickets while the wind blows outside, the cold wind that no longer sneaks into the dorm for having the windows open all the time.

"You want something to eat?" I ask after a moment of silence, in which I thought she had fallen asleep because of her measured breathing.

"Oh, no thanks, I don't feel like going to the cafeteria, and because of the time I think it must be closed".

"It's not necessary, I can make something appear right here, and neither of us has to move in the slightest" I say, tilting my lips to the side where she can't see me.

"Is that true too?" she moves her head in my direction just a little, I can feel her breath lightly against my neck. "Now you have magic?".

"Uh, yeah, it's true, although I don't use it that much" «and it's not like if I'm going to like using it too much».

"Great, but no thanks, the foods generated with magic have a very peculiar taste and texture, they are somewhat dry and tasteless, that if you get used to the taste of many types of food".

"Then what do you want to do while we are on a break?" I ask, and in the act I wish to repent since I opened the door to many possibilities.

"I don't know, talk maybe? I think it's a good idea to change the scene".

"I had in mind to tell you that you are the first who hasn't asked about what happened to me, or when I came back and what happened then" she sighs, tired.

"That's because I suppose it brings you bad memories, and although I can be a little annoying at times, I don't like to make people remember their bad moments before making drastic decisions".

To say that wasn't like a blow against my pride, or against my dignity, would be a great denial, but I try to pass it by.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, sometimes I have attacks of gross honesty".

"That's fine, there's no problem.

She begins to hum a song that, on the Isle, was used to be sung aloud and with off-key notes by the guys who lived in the streets, as a mockery of each and every one of the princes, princesses, kings and queens of Auradon, while she takes one of Dude's toys, a squeaky ball that he hasn't destroyed since it's new, and Ally found it as a way to clear her mind of the stress by squeezing it from time to time for the sound to calm her down. Dude has been asleep since she got here, and he hasn't wake up at all.

My cell phone vibrates on the bedside table, it's like the eighth time it does to warn me about a text message, and I've ignored each of them for focusing more on helping Ally.

I know who the messages are from, at least one of them must be Mal's repply and another from Ben, Evie doesn't usually send them since she prefers those long calls to tell me what's going on outside, and the other contacts are relatively closer to me. I have distanced myself a little from the girls, since I told them about the new dorm they disagreed, at first, and then Mal decided to make it a new ward of evilness for acts against specific victims whose destiny should be get disappeared. Understand Audrey and Jay in there, although Chad is on that list but nobody said his name directly.

The messages come from Jay, it's deductible by simple elimination order, and I don't want to know what's in them for fear that I'll continue to act again and again contrary to what goes on in my head, inside me.

It's true, I still have my feelings for him, each and every one of them. It's easier to act in the total opposite, but I'm getting tired of doing it, but again there's this latent fear of getting hurt, to be hiding behind something bigger than me to seek protection, to find someone who takes care of everything that it surpasses me in intensity and strength.

Why do I want to keep trying to be the opposite of me? All that facade is going to end sometime, and at that moment I will not know what to do to get out.

"Can I ask you a question?" she says quietly, like a whisper, like if she thought the walls are listening or something. I do believe they do it since the rumors run fast here, _very_ fast.

Probably there's already one about what she and I will be doing here, and if it reaches Jay's ears then it's certain that I will not see its end.

"Is it about something embarrassing?" I ask defensively, feeling my cheeks getting warm gradually.

"It's rather intimate, and you can ask me about the same thing".

"I think it's a fair deal, if a bit nosy" I say, letting out a sigh that would rather be defined as a snort. "Ask then".

"Are you still in love with Jay?".

I know Ally well enough to know that would be her question, and it makes the ideas to move inside my head, for me to start thinking. Guaranteed pain.

I move there in my place, uncomfortable, like if I were in the middle of a test, or in another trial. I close my eyelids, take a deep breath, and concentrate on the first idea I can take from my mental ocean. The first that leaps into my memories is Jay's bright brown eyes, the curve and texture of his lips along with the mocking, arrogant, malicious, and yet warm smile that he used to give me when we were little kids and I was feeling scared, when I was afraid that surely I wouldn't see him the next day because of the beating mom would give me, or simply when he caught me looking at him and he was trying not to raise my levels of distress.

I can almost hear his velvety and deep voice, that voice whispering those things in my ear, those that were totally foreign to his way of acting or thinking, I can almost recall all the touches of his hands on my body, every kiss he gave me, every moment we spent and how I reacted to it.

I can remember each and every one of the things that we lived. Jay is the foundation in many of my best memories, which in essence were the pillars of my happiness in these last couple of months and throughout my pathetic existence.

With that I can conclude that all this, since the day before leaving the Isle, has been a moment that I can never erase from my memory, nor with my best attempt, that I hate and I don't totally hate many people here, and that even when I had to die for everything that happened, all that gets supplemented by the fact that my feelings for Jay are real and still existing, what I felt and lived with Jay was and is a crazy, intense, deep and unequaled romantic moment.

That seen from the positivist side of it. In its opposite are the comments with intention to hurt that he threw against me, as a game, the blows and all that we had to do by nature.

If I return to my thesis about being good _and_ bad then it's going to be a sickly vicious cycle that will last until either of us ends up completely dead for real or at the opposite end of the galaxy, we will be forced to act and be aware of what the other does, of what bothers him or what not, that only in order to not end up in a tense situation that causes concern in everyone else.

I open my eyelids again and Ally smiles at me, eager for an answer.

"Honestly it's kinda hard to answer" I say, to answer, not knowing where I want to go, again, "now I can tell you that I'm still being it at the same time that I wish I weren't" she arches her eyebrow, not understanding what I'm trying to say with a few words. "I see it more or less like if we both were a song: it has bars and rhythms, arrangements and tunings, he could be the melody and I the voice that sings, or vice versa, but there are exceptions in which a melody doesn't need a voice, or the singing doesn't need a melody that accompanies it and yet it still is slashing. They're complements at the same time they're not vitally necessary, and that's how I feel that Jay and I are now, complements but not vital".

Just like a prediction, or some kind of curse, my cell phone starts to vibrate with intensity on the bedside table, something unusual since I don't usually get any phone calls, much less at this time of the night. I take it to look at the sender and I immediately would like to reject it.

"H-he's calling" I say, feeling that I blush to see that absurd image of him smiling, which at one time seemed delightful to me.

"Well, do not make him wait, pick it up" she says, taking the phone for me and placing it in my shaking hand. As a reflex act my thumb gets placed on the symbol so that, with just sliding it, I'd be listening to his voice on the other side of the line.

"I don't think I'm ready to…".

Again she decides to act for me by sliding my thumb and slowly bringing it towards my ear, which I thank her deep down. Our glances meet each other's for a moment before I achieve to be able to regain the necessary sanity to establish some conversation, I also let out a short sigh and give her a small smile when I lower my gaze.

"I didn't expect you to pick me up on the first try" he says, laughing, and I swear he'd be smiling if I had him in front of me.

"Hi to you too" I say, laughing too.

We fall in silence, a deep silence, which gets broken only because I hear his breathing, and even so I feel obliged to move the cell phone and watch the timer marking continuously its course, every second in which nobody says anything. Ally limits herself to look at me, to reread the notes a little and smile, as if she were in that world that seems almost unique for her.

"So, you left" he says after a full minute of silence, to which it's impossible for me not to snort.

"I just changed dorms, it's not like if I was transferred from school, or like if I had returned to the Isle" Ally tilts her head, and I suppose my subtle attempt to whisper was anything but subtle.

"Even so, I would have known about if for Mal and a great string of insults that almost ended in me punching her lights out".

"She would have shattered you in the next second, we both know it".

Yeah, let it be clear that I care about his well-being, even though he doesn't even think of the risks that his impulsive and reckless acts can bring. And since I don't either then I suppose that all this was more than destined to the imminent ruin and destruction for both of us.

"I told you I'd face Maleficent for you if I had to, Mal is nothing more than a collateral damage to all this" I blush again, this time for remembering that absurd 'promise' he made before we left the Isle, and I'm really surprised that he remembers it since he's not someone to make promises, they are rather deals in which he must obtain some kind of profit.

That makes me think that the gain in that deal was me, and I almost laugh to think of myself as an object that can be exchanged for something that is better looking, or valuable. Or of a different gender.

"This is… uh, uncomfortable, and truth is this isn't the kind of talk I'd like to have on the phone".

"I want to see you" he snaps, like if what I just said was nothing more than a loose comment, of no importance, and it really doesn't have it. "Also I have a kind of surprise for you".

"You know I'm not very close to surprises" I argue, noticing it's now when I start to get defensive, something that frustrates him enough to growl on the other side of the phone.

"Can we act like two ordinary persons at least for a couple of minutes?" he asks, and because of his voice I'm sure he's not trying to hide the anger that he has for dealing with me and trying to approach to me in some way so that he can ask for my forgiveness again. "Can we act like if we were best friends again even if it's only for a little while?".

I'm not quite sure where it happened but Ally is sitting by my side, listening carefully to what he says and what I'm answering, and towards that question she does nothing more but to look me in the eyes, she nods before preparing to keep the notes which we did, to put the books on the floor, and to tie her hair once again in another sloppy ponytail.

"Tell him yes, anyway I must go back to my dorm before I break another rule about curfew" she whispers, and for some reason when she does that her accent becomes more pronounced.

I remain quiet since I don't want to please her with an answer, nor him either, but ending the call just like this would only arouse his insistence, and an insistent Jay is something that I would least like to deal with.

"Carlos? You there?" he says, taking my attention back once more. "Listen, it's not something you have to do, I'd like to…".

"First floor to the right, dorm nineteen" I interrupt him, yielding once more to his requests. How many more will I have to yield in?

I finish the call when he was going to say something else, I sigh again and look up when Ally's weight stops sinking the mattress. She smoothes her clothes before stretching again, just like the terrifying cat that sometimes chases her through the hallways or appears on the tree branches.

A cat should not lose his head so easily, literally.

"Fine then, I'd better get going before causing a problem in that paradise you two call your friendship" she quotes in that last part, then she turns and walks over to the door before I can even stand. "Oh, I almost forgot, and apparently Evie also forgot it. Tomorrow we are going to do a dance number for the Blue Festival, both Evie and Evie asked me to tell you if you would be a dancer in our choreography".

"Do you expect me to memorize a full dance number for tomorrow night?" I say, raising the tone of my voice with each word, sounding extremely altered at the end of my question.

"It's their request, not mine".

I narrow my eyes in her direction, and because of her relaxed attitude I know she's telling the truth, and I hate the girls for not telling me before. Goddammit!

I pinch the bridge of my nose, thinking that my final projects are in their final stages to be delivered, my homework is finished, and after all I have nothing to do in another sleepless night.

"I suppose if I get the choreography I can make a try".

"You're the best ex-villain in the world!" from one moment to the other she throws herself over me, she hugs me and kisses me on the cheek, then she moves away and returns to the door while jumping in her walk.

"Wait, I didn't ask my question" I say, remembering our deal.

"Oh, that's true. Ask then".

I bite my lower lip because I'm sure it's just something that happens inside my wild imagination, there are no facts that substantiate what I'm thinking. I swallow the knot in my throat anyway.

"D-do you like me?" «I need to write an essay about the definition of subtlety and the consequences it can bring not to act with it, although she asked only like it came to her mind, so it's something similar».

"Oh" she says, lowering her eyes and settling the hair that covers her forehead behind her left ear. She's not blushing. "I'm sorry if something I did make that impression to you, but no, you're smart, attentive and charismatic, but I don't see you otherwise beyond that, Carlos".

"T-that's okay, it was just something I had in mind" I scratch the back of my neck, relieved and tense at the same time. "Anyway, sleep a little, and I wish you success in your test; I would say that I wish you luck but that's for mediocre".

She gives me a smile and leaves my dorm, I hear her footsteps while she walks down the hallway until the point where the only thing I hear is my breathing, not even the crickets continue to tune their melodies on the outside.

I get up and drag my feet to my chest of drawers, I take gray cotton pants and a tank top, I change my clothes and throw them at the pile of dirty clothes that I will send to the laundry, something Ben told me that someone else could do so I wouldn't have to keep worrying about doing it myself.

I don't go beyond four steps towards my bed when I'm interrupted once again by someone knocking on the other side of the door. It's time.

I open the door ajar, enough so that the light of the interior illuminates the half of his face, so that his left eye gives off a brightness that makes me move in my place, an act that fortunately is hidden by the door between us.

His nose is covered by his hand and it has some pinkish color, like if he had a cold, something that wasn't very usual to happen before. It's covered by an improvised handkerchief made with a few pieces of brown cloth, which are dripping, telling the ice cubes that must surely be in there to decrease the swelling of his nose.

"I-I'm sorry I punched you" I say, opening the door wider so that the light completely illuminates his face. "Truth is I'm not sorry".

"Easy there, no grudges about it" he smiles in defeat, "I had it well deserved anyway, besides I didn't think that someone as thin as you was going to punch so hard".

"I changed when I could return".

"And I wasn't there to witness it, or to give explanations if you had doubts".

He looks into my eye, a very fixed eye contact, and if it's true that the eyes are the window of the soul, or whatever, then I'm sure that I'm looking straight at his repentance, being it feigned or not it gets something inside me to move by the way he seems to enlarge his eyes, like Dude when he does something wrong and hopes that with a similar gesture I try to ignore it. And it tends to triumph.

I watch his face, the features that before have looked better and that now look a little haggard, probably because of the lack of restful sleep and the constant stress for being a target of insults in addition to looks of contempt, and I see that his lower lip trembles a little, which tries to mitigate by biting it from the inside.

"You can come in" I say, lowering my gaze and opening the door completely, making inevitable the shivering when his arm rubs against mine.

He relaxes his shoulders in the moment I grant her access and I step aside to give him enough space to come in, before which I look down and cling to the door to suppress my nervousness, making inevitable the shudder that comes when his exposed arm brushes against mine.

I see his wide back while he walks and stands still, I notice that his hair doesn't move with his movements, which must be fastened with the beanie and the hood of the sweatshirt he's wearing, a black sleeveless sweatshirt, which it's clear that he ripped off since the seams are broken at the shoulder height.

"You have a nice place" he takes one entire spin, stopping just two or three seconds to look at something, then he approaches to a window and places his fingers on the frame, watching like if the height was a simple challenge to make a forward somersault with a perfect landing before he begins sprinting towards the forest and disappears in the dark, in the style that he used to do on the Isle.

"I like the extra space" I say, being honest with him now that I have him here, and with me by saying what I have in mind. But I'm just saying it, what I'm not doing is acting how I would like it, "I feel a little more relaxation".

"Certainly it seems so" he snorts and pulls away from the window, he walks over to my bed and sits over the mattress, moving a little until he finds a more comfortable place, though not quite since he frowns. "Soft mattress, it sinks and it's small, I don't like it".

"Well, the mattress is only for me, so…" I leave the sentence unfinished since he frowns more, and also see him filling his chest with air reminds me of the few times when he feels uncomfortable to be in a certain place.

"That's true too".

With all of his complaints, and the motivation that brought him here in the first place, he smiles broadly, showing all his teeth. A sincere smile that strains his eyes, one of the ways to identify its authenticity.

He pats the space next to him, inviting me, tempting me, and like the lure that I used to be in some of the missions imposed by our parents I obey him without question, I walk to his side but before sitting he raises a finger, stopping me three steps away, I lower my gaze when he gets up, I look at the floor, at the door, but never to his face or him in general.

"First I want to see how you changed".

"I'm not something that's on a dresser for the highest bidder" he makes me look up since he places his hand under my chin.

"I'd pay any amount to have you, I really would".

I bite my cheek from the inside, almost hissing through the pain although that doesn't stop the blush that takes over my face, over my whole body, and the next second we're dangerously close… for him more than anything, his hands are placed in my shoulders while his eyes do the work of inspecting all that he lost in due time, then he spins around me, like if he were some kind of majestic lion stalking his defenseless prey.

I don't doubt that he has done this kind of thing with someone else, but it's not like I really want to stop and ask about it.

What worries me the most for now is that simply by stretching out my arms we'll be touching each other again, again I'll be falling into the vicious circle that is our life as friends and as individual beings. However that's what I most want now, to yield one more time although later I'll regret to have done it.

"You look so different, tall, with other features, a little more of muscles and a different style, but it's like if nothing in you had changed" I raise an eyebrow when he appears to my left and stands in front of me, "everything in you is still unique, from your freckles to the strange way you comb, and even so I know that I can always see you as a unique person".

He looks at me and makes me want to shrink for some strange reason, but I don't lose our eye contact. It's too difficult to see him without imagining again his panic at seeing me as energy in the dorm, and when he saw me in the dorm alive one more time. I still find it kind of annoying to think that I did something like that to him; it doesn't seem to bother him at the moment that his lips tighten in a very, very hidden smile, he takes my hand and this time he makes us sit on the edge of the bed, his pinkie entwined with mine.

"You said you had a surprise for me" I say, reminding him the reason why he's supposed to give me this visit.

He smiles and separates our hands, he lets out a long sigh before removing the hood from his sweatshirt, in fact the beanie I gave him is down, but when he takes it off it makes me pant on the spot, by surprise.

His hair… his hair is gone…

It's not like he's bald either, no, but it's just the fact that now it's nothing more than the shadow of what it used to be, as short as Doug's hair when we got here in the first day, so absent, so little usual.

I don't know if it's because I got used to seeing his hair grow for all the years we spent together or what but his head seems smaller, with a certain degree of deformity here and there, besides he doesn't seem so threatening or huge anymore, he rather seems like a common sixteen year old guy who just had a radical and completely new haircut.

By inertia my hands start moving towards his head, it's simple curiosity what takes hold over my fingers when they sink between the short locks. It is soft, very soft, and the tingling it produces on my skin makes me shrug a little; while I'm on it he closes his eyelids slowly, letting me to act in a free way and without me seeing his bright eyes, inspecting each one of my actions, which makes me feel relieved and tense at the same time. He sighs from time to time, tilting his head to the left or right while I approach to his neck, and if he were a cat I'm sure he would be purring.

"I thought you wouldn't cut it off unless you screwed it up big time" I say, to what he frowns.

Those words were spoken on the Isle, when we were under the front door of his house, eating a few strips of oat that he stole in an oversight of the barter market. He was thirteen and I was eleven, the girls were gone to I don't remember well what to do, but it involved something ordered by the Evil Queen.

He said he would only cut it off if some robbery was thwarted by some strange variable, if he was trapped in a simple holdup, if he screwed it up, or if he felt that he had defrauded someone important to him, and the only important person for him is himself, and perhaps his father in moments where his narcissism ceases to be a definition of his personality.

"Well" he begins to say quietly, slowly opening his eyelids and stopping my hands at the level of his cheeks, he manages to entwine his fingers with mine before bringing my knuckles to his lips. The proximity between the two of us is still something that causes me discomfort, "for the first time in years I feel that I have defrauded someone important in my life, the person I have seen grow up and who has had to endure hundreds of my bad decisions, and the only person who really showed me that there is a limit to the thousands of nonsense that someone can commit".

Just like the steady attack coming from a snake he leans forward, something my body knew he would do, I knew it since something like the survival instinct became more present in me. I manage to move my head back, making him to kiss the air between us, so that he sighs again and lowers our hands until they lie on the sheets, still entwined.

"Now what, Carlos? What follows after so many bad decisions gathered together in just a few days?" I take a deep breath to reassure the storm of emotions within me. "This simply can't keep going forward, it has to stop at some point. But, what's next?".

I lower my gaze, then I fix it intensely straight in his eyes, causing him to move in his place, which reminds me of what he said about the way I stare at things, carefully.

"What's next is that I'm gonna tell the truth, a couple of things that may be uncomfortable for both of us, so I hope you to listen until I'm done" he does nothing but smile and nod.

Here I go.

"Strange as it may seem to you, I'm going to apologize for being that person so alien to me, distant and aiming to teach a lesson in the bad way to someone else, it was something stupid, I'm stupid anyway, and I really don't wanna make you to go through another embarrassing moment like that".

"It takes a million lives for me to apologize completely, and that wouldn't even be enough" I arch my eyebrow when he interrupts me, and he responds by shrinking minimally. "Sorry, I had to say something, and now that I don't think I'm able to stop I wanna say that I love you, and I'd like to say it more than once, strong and loud, but I know you deserve better than me, someone better".

"I've thought of that, and I realized that I love you too, but not in the way that these people in Auradon do it, I love you but with an ef in the middle of the word" I snap, and towards the bewilderment of his eyebrow raised up I split our hands just to take the piece of paper that I was writing behind him, which states the nonsense I just said: _**I lofe you**_.

He looks at it, he reads it over and over, turns it in his free hand, like if on the back it had another thing written to deny what I said, or to collate, or whatever, but with the aim of trying to ignore this I'm trying to express.

Why is it so difficult to talk to him?

"I don't understand, what does this mean?".

"It means that loving you, at least from my part, is a mistake" he opens his mouth to argue, which I prevent from thinking that he stands still, which happens when my magic does it. I didn't even have the opportunity to tell him that new feature in me. "I know that I was an inciter to all this, I know it was something initiated primarily by me, and now I realize that it was a mistake. We're villains after all, as such we don't seek a happy ending, but if we're close enough to get it there will always be something to stop it, that something was Audrey in your case, in mine was the constant uncertainty in what I wanted in the beginning by having you by my side and in what could happen next".

I inhibit the effect of my magic when he ceases to be catatonic and moves again, like if he had been petrified for centuries.

"I'm not saying you're a toxic person or something… well, I actually do it, but since I'm one too I think the most important thing now is the well-being of both of us, something we can achieve if, once and for all, we put an end to all this and we are no longer involved in a commitment that doesn't end up pleasing either of us, not to us or to others".

His expression breaks when he hears that last part, and for some reason I imagine something like that must have looked like when Freddie broke up with him, because she's a person who was influential in his life, and I know that I too have been someone who has taught him a few things about himself, so I do understand that he has that same reaction for my words.

His body also reacts, he bends in his place, he begins to breathe more agitatedly, like if he were terrified by something else I can do, his hand still entwined with mine begins to tremble slightly, something that I try to eliminate by caressing his back with my thumb.

"I-I never thought you thought in that way, you seemed happy n-no matter what was going on a-around us, and t-the worst part is that I-I'm aware of your words and a-about my a-acts" hear him sobbing slightly and see how his eyes fill with tears makes me feel on the verge of crying… and apologizing. "W-would it be quite daring from me to ask o-one last kiss?" I look into his eyes, I hold my breath since I never thought I'd see such a high degree of vulnerability in him, like if he were a puppy found in a cold winter storm and were asking for a home for at least a couple of minutes. "P-please?".

"It would be, although…".

I act on what I want, accurate in my actions, the same attack he was going to do against me against him, so that's why I hardly have time to place my hand on his nape before his lips slowly presses against mine in a clumsy way, without a sudden movement or a crashing, nevertheless it's a pressure that speaks of total necessity.

He opens his eyelids, shocked, before I close mine slowly his hands get placed ephemerally over my cheeks before sliding down towards my chest, there they slowly become into fists while our lips are speaking and they meet again after so long.

I don't deny it this time, I missed him too much.

It surprises me that our lips are moving again with the perfect synchronicity of before, like if we had never distanced ourselves, like if with each time his lips touches mine the days that we we're apart would have been only a couple of milliseconds, and they were just a few.

His tongue pleads for access, which I don't grant even though every fiber of my being is willing to do so. His left hand takes me by the hair and with the other he holds my chest, his lips move with more determination and strength against mine.

I feel dizzy from so many sensations caused by my emotions, by the struggle for dominance that he's anxious to initiate, and by the same intensity of reviving that flame that threatened to become extinct.

However, it all comes to an end after a new act, when the wetness of the tears running down his cheeks causes me to slowly open my eyelids and see Jay crying so clearly, being emotional even though he struggles against it with nails and teeth.

I pull away slowly, causing the little knot of limbs to undo and now we stare at each other, catching our breath and with a couple of things to say but which none of us is brave enough to express.

"I think I'd better go".

I don't do anything, I don't move, I don't speak, if it were possible I wouldn't breathe, and because of my lack of actions he stands up, he puts on the hood from his sweatshirt again before slowly approaching to the door, he takes the knob and the metallic sound pulls me back to everything I just said, to what we have just done, and the fact that I didn't consider that the proposal to see each other once again shouldn't end up exactly in that, in our break up.

It's something hard to think, impossible to say out loud, that's why I feel compelled to say something, anything, anything to see the expression on his face after he allowed himself to cry.

"And… uh, well, I think you already noticed it, but I can do magic" he stops outside the door when he opens it, he closes it before giving me one last smile and the last view of his devastated emotional state.

"It's something we could talk about later".

Before I can answer to that the door closes completely, by the light of the outside I see his shadow in the back, standing there waiting for me to get up, or maybe waiting for me to say something, and since in the next minute I don't do a thing I just see him turning on his heels, walking slowly until once again all I hear is my breathing, heavy and fast.

"Or maybe it will not happen again…" I whisper as I look at the space he just left next to me, and in me. He left the beanie here.

I think of the nights he spent without sleep, in the kind of uncomfortable and unbearable moments that I make him get through; I just threw him again at that, to turn into a ball and sob until he fell asleep, to think about the kind of things he did and what he could do to remedy it.

I'm almost certain that there's no going back, unless our friendship has left intact from this minefield. We're not in terms of friends, or acquaintances, not even of allies, we're practically nothing since we didn't named this.

When I'm about to rationalize about that I receive an email, it's not difficult to guess who the sender is.

Anyway the night is long, enough so that I can memorize a stupid dance number and that I can be in some grief for having lost my first real relationship, one more pillar in my memories and, probably, to my best friend.


	15. I wish

Last chapter! Which means it will be a song-chapter, which means it will be a long chapter, besides I think it can combine quantity and quality.

I've really enjoyed from all the favs, follows and review I've received, and seeing that my idea of turning this one-shot into a complete story wasn't something so far-fetched makes me feel good. I also have to say that I have several ideas about this couple but I couldn't include them for stuff about the plot, but get sure I'll be updating new one-shots, and even a new long story, it's just a little about fixing details. Without further to say, enjoy, and I wish you all Merry Christmas besides a Happy New Year considering the dates we are in :)

Songs: Sneakernight - Vanessa Hudgens (/watch?V=HRqOjhNN4hQ)

Being Alive - Company _Cast_ (/watch?V=WmVwshV5ecw)

* * *

 **I wish**

People don't act without thinking, they don't move unless there is a purpose, they don't speak unless they have something important to say, they don't approach to the damn windows unless they're going to remove the locks of the frame on a walk with tendency to explore the new dorm of a person.

I should have assumed Jay would do something like that, it's Jay dammit, no plan can get out of his control, one way or another he must have it, that if the decisions of others don't influence, like it happened in our case.

All this is my fault too, it was because of having decided that the best for both of us would be the distance, a new distance, the agonizing and painful kind of, that which hurts the most for knowing about the existence of the other, watching him prowling around here and there, laughing, talking, socializing, living, in a few words following with his life while the other is most likely to be sunk in a vortex of sadness, desolation and hopelessness.

I move to rub my cheek against the pillow, sighing heavily and grunting 'in my sleep', feeling such a powerful pain that it almost makes me growl, running all over my right side and beginning to expand on the left one. His arms pull me closer to him, his nose sinking a little further into the back of my neck, causing me to shiver.

Around three in the morning, when I decided to take my favorite position on my left side to rest after finishing another rehearsal of the girls' dance number, which is great if I may say so, and a short shower, it was when it happened, and what I least expected was that the 'greatest' thief from the Isle of the Lost had slipped into my dorm in my carelessness, from him to slide through my blankets and pull me closer to him in a hug that could have healed all the wounds I'd get at some moment of our lives he could have infringed on me, but it's the fact that he did so in such a premeditated way what forbids me to think of the relaxing of the contact from body to body.

I guess he must be going through an episode of pain similar to mine, he hasn't moved all night long and he hasn't done it until now, I suppose for the fear of waking me up and being trapped in something that could bring the guards here, besides that it would make him be sent back if I say the right words.

The bell of the school rumbles all over the place, announcing the next change of classes and that it's two o'clock in the afternoon; twelve long hours during which we've been in this same position, covered by a thin sheet and light clothes, I without closing my eyes because of the inability to sleep and by feeling his breath against my neck, he dozing, squeezing me against his body, sobbing and recalling hundreds of stories about what we have experienced since the moment we met, when the Evil Queen and Maleficent managed to overcome their differences and decided that their daughters should know each other, to which Evie dragged me because she thought I could defend her if Mal decided to attack in the way that could damage her the most, attacking her attraction.

I remember that day and I remember Jay frowning, being taller than Mal, with his hair barely in tufts that came over to cover his forehead, with thin arms but nevertheless they had muscles, with a look that made me hide more behind Evie since all the time he spent it looking at me, growling in my direction, rolling his eyes and walking in another direction.

According to what Evie told me after a quiet and obligatory meeting, which rumbles in my head after so many years, is that Jay didn't feel comfortable having me next to his side, being clumsy in my walk and very small of stature, easy to catch, slow to run, prone to complaints, lacking in strength, and weak when falling down, he didn't like to see me as a further addition to the alliance between him and Mal since they knew how an evil relationship must to work out, not even with Evie he was pleased since we weren't 'as villains' as they were at that age, and it's like if I could see myself from the outside shrugging my shoulders and with tears in my eyes for knowing that I was also a disappointment for him, like I was for mom when I couldn't fulfill the chores she gave me.

I yawn only to mitigate the sensation of a painful memory that compresses my chest, and to feel how he stiffens, feeling his movements while he prepares to undertake the escape he had planned since yesterday when he saw the height where the dorm was.

All so stupidly calculated.

"Remember the first time when we started exploring the caves on the Isle, just you and me?" he asks in a half-yawn, probably waking up from another nap that lasts no more than fifteen minutes. "Near that one where your father… well, you know what I'm talking about…".

I move again, thinking about it, when I was five and he was seven, when he stopped snorting when I passed next to him or stumbled with my own feet, the day he told mom directly that he wanted to take me on a trip that would make me a little stronger, which she agreed to because I would probably break my neck when I fell from a scratch and she wouldn't have to take care of me anymore.

Those ten years doesn't seem so distant to me. I can almost believe that the glitter of the water by the sun hits in my eyes once again, that I see the muddy water beneath my boots, crystalline and refreshing when it doesn't move, lethal and with hundreds of dangers inside it when the waves hit the rocks.

Jay was trying to show me the true strength that a villain should have when he clutched to a rock while he moved only by using the force his arms were acquiring, he moved as I did while he told me that if I wanted to be one of them I should do something similar, and he even mentioned that if I jumped into the water, come out afloat and be able to swim to the shore he would show me the respect he showed Mal, which he was beginning to have for Evie since her tricks of using her physical charms already had an impressive effect.

I don't remember much of that talk, only a constant fear that he would die when he fell into the water and I wouldn't have a way to go home to finish with the clothes that I had to wash. It was also a time in my life when I didn't talk, I stopped talking when dad died and was taken out from the house, I only nodded when mom gave me direct orders, or if the girls asked me things I could respond with movements of my head.

The chaos in all that came when I stepped on something, something that was overcome by my light weight and creaked under my foot until it broke, when I looked down panic seized me when half of a small skull was invaded by my boot, when the bone dust rose through the air and almost suffocated me. I looked up to see a swarm of flies hovering over a pile of decaying corpses whose scent was aggravated by the sun that was mercilessly attacking on one of the few days that the heat enclosed by the barrier could give.

I remember walking forward no matter what I would found or Jay's voice telling me to stop, I remember going on breaking more bones with each step, feeling how the smell of death and putrefaction creep into my nose, to the depths of my memory to stay. Each step I took it thinking that I would find something, that I would see something, to see him, dad, at least one more time before he left me forever.

It was when he stopped me placing his hand on my shoulder, he turned me on my heels and looked into my eyes, scared and with a couple of cuts on the right side of his cheek, I guess by the effort to climb up again. He looked at me and said things, his lips moved but I couldn't hear his voice, all I could think of was the best person in the world.

He shook me roughly, like if that were enough to bring me back to the real world, to the cave, but the only thing it produced was me to began to cry because from one moment to the other he was screaming at me, he was pressing my arms with much strength for me to do something, the sound of the ocean became louder, and I wanted to see dad.

"Dad lives here, I wanna live here with him forever".

I remember those only words before he took me back home, in his arms in some parts of the trip and making me to walk when he was tired, he left me there in the porch like if I were a child abandoned to his fate, he ran until mom decided to get out to look for me, and when she found me I received no more than blows and shouts since I hadn't returned in time to do the laundry.

Later that night he appeared in a window on the ground floor, knocking and making me to hide under a table because the dead trees from the outside always made it seem that they would come in at any moment to get me for not behaving well. I let him in and we talked, though it was mainly him about how Jafar took him there so that he would begin to become the man he needed in his shop, not a wimp like Cruella's son. He left shortly, with the small portion of dinner that mom gave me, saying that it was the best thing I could give him after having put him through an uncomfortable moment, besides making him sweat when he didn't want to do it.

I let out a choked breath and shrug in my place, right now when I feel that our bond of friendship is about to break completely and we will be nothing more than acquaintances, probably nothing after that.

"I know, I know, it's too stupid from me to remind you that, but it's one of the first solid memories I have with you" I close my eyelids gently when he moves his head, now to pretend that I'm still asleep at the same time his lips are resting on my cheek, "when I began to see you as the person you really were, not like the zero at the left of your mother".

I move my head against the pillow, trying to move away, he seem to understand it since he turns his head away, he finally releases the grip on my body, firm and with the slightest intention of letting me go. I lie on my stomach, letting out the relaxation that takes hold of my back in the form of a growl, hugging the pillow with one arm so that the circulation comes back.

I feel his movements while he rises from the mattress, the grinding of the springs makes it more evident, and all that almost makes me forget the fact that he hasn't stopped sobbing, since he came up so far, interrupting only when he dozed, and not even in those moments since he did sometimes.

"I understand the reasons why you want to break up with me, I really do understand them, so that I'm more than willing to let you go" he takes a deep, agitated breath, which allows him to think a bit more about what he means. "I do it because I care very much for you being okay, but at least I want you to know that you'll remain being my best friend, no matter what happens, I'll tell you so once again when you're awake and when I can unite our inseparable group again".

From one moment to the other I feel his breath in front of my face, before his lips press gently against mine, causing me to sigh and almost open my eyes to tell him that I have heard everything he said, and that I'm ready to continue with us being friends.

But with everything we went through for a few months I'm sure it will not be the same, even if I try not to make it weird for both of us.

He moves away from me in the bad way, the second last kiss for us, and I hope it to be the last one. I hear the click of his joints while he stand up, I hear the sound of the window hinges as they open, the wind creeping into the dorm that almost bristles my skin, the sound of birdsong, and then I hear the sound of the fall of his body on the ground, he curses under his breath before I once again notice myself surrounded by the sound of the wind and the birds, again with the solitude that I almost seemed to have forgotten.

I lie down on my back and sit up, just to remain there, contemplating a point in the blank, thinking about the performance I have to give later, besides that I had to prepare something in soloist as a suggestion/order from Ben. He again forced us to participate, and I say us meaning the five of us, although according to the emails from Ally the only one that flatly refused to even try to do something was Jay, which doesn't actually surprises me. Mal and Evie hate him, as long as I can remember, our kind of relationship is now rubbed, and I have no idea of the terms he has had with Freddie after so many years.

Besides I wouldn't like to be on stage in front of lots of people and with whom broke up with me twenty-four hours ago looking at me while I make a new fool of myself. And that's just what I'm going to do.

I groan to the air and finally get up, dragging my feet to my chest of drawers to fish out the first thing I can find, T-shirt and shorts, without really caring if the colors that are classic in me combine or not, just to not being seen so disheveled in the morning before the Blue Festival.

Jay broke up with me, Jay finally broke up with me, once and for all that new compromise was broken, one that produced me loads of feelings that up until no more than half a year ago I should consider as aberrant.

What I find curious is that I don't feel down. There's no sadness, there's not something that squeezes my chest, I don't feel like crying, I don't feel lonely, abandoned, or whatever. Damn it, not even remembering the stories of our lives while he recounted them throughout the night was enough for something inside me to move like on the occasions I visited him.

What's the problem? What's wrong with me, who turns to be the problem?

Before I can begin to give myself a solution someone knocks on the door, I slip into the clothes just to open it using my magic, finding Ally on the other side, wearing a dress that, by the sheen, it reminds me of the creation of fluorescent clothes that Evie made along with Mal's company.

I never thought a hip-hop cap would look good on an auradonian-class girl like her. She really looks good.

"Good morning, Carlos" she greets me with a smile, stretching out her arms with a cardboard box in them, a box containing clothes. "Evie did this for you, though I think she also spent a long night making it".

"Sure, good morning for you too" I say, picking up the box and opening it while I walk to the bed to see it more closely.

Inside there's a T-shirt and loose trousers, made with elastic cloth that passes through the white, gray and black, some sections of red in key places, with other bright colors, among them yellow, orange, green and blue, more of the ones that stand out in the dark thanks to her incredible talent with the sewing machine and the chemistry. A cap similar to that of Ally accompanies it, one that has in the front the skull with the crossed bones in the inferior side.

At the bottom there's a note, which I unfold to read, taking advantage that Ally is looking out the window, through that window…

The note has a small message.

 _I have no words, thank you for making this sweetie. We'll see you tonight, and we'll help you get by with everything that might happen. E._

I still have to tell her what has just happened between Jay and me, and I also should look out for the way in which our group will be together again, whatever terms it may be and even if there are hidden grudges at the end.

"I suppose I should get dressed" I say, drawing her attention. "Although you didn't tell me how your test came out".

"Oh, it was a complete wonder! I approved with the best grade! And I owe it all to you!" she rushes to surround the bed and surround me with her arms in another of those surprise hugs that people of Auradon likes to give, one that I give back anyway. "Also with all of this I just put on you I feel like the worst friend in the world".

"It was to be expected, you are an extremely smart girl besides a good friend, and about the dance you don't have to worry for it, it's something I'd have done anyway, and I hope to do my best for that, although I suppose I should dress now because I don't wanna be late".

"Of course, of course, you're right, although the Festival begins at dusk" we split the hug until that moment, her hands stay on my forearms, she gives them a slight squeeze before smiling, she turns around and leaves from where she got in, closing the door behind her.

I run both hands over my face, complete frustration, and the false modesty for the new work she put on my shoulders managed to pass as true since I made her laugh, one way or another. I should learn to say no, I really should.

Anyhow I start to get dressed with the attire, one that is quite comfortable and light, perfect for the routine that they have prepared, one that surely took some time for the complicated steps and the sequences that must be done with a perfect timing for their performance. Nothing I can't beat.

My stomach growls like an animal about to die, the voracious hunger I have had since we arrived and that I have been able to maintain so far hasn't changed in the slightest. I secure the back of the cap to the waist of my pants, I take my cell phone, muttering the lyrics of the song that I'm going to present as a solo before leaving the bedroom, a song that I found in the virtual collection from Auradon, a classic song as they call it.

At this point I should know that it's never good to leave some place with the eyes down, in this case for doing it I don't realize who is walking down the hallway, I only know when I get in its way and we collide, the hit is so hard and sudden that we both fall like stones to the floor, everything it was carrying in the arms finishes sprawled in the floor.

"No doubt that will hurt later" says a boy in a very low voice, timid in another way of describing it, while he stands up and reaches out to help me up. "I'm really sorry, I didn't see you, I'm very sorry".

"No biggie, I suppose it's also my fault for walking without looking at where I was going" I take his hand and put a bit of me to get up.

I look up to see this new stranger, a dude of almost equal height as mine, with square jaw and complete symmetry of his face, chiseled features, dark brown and wavy hair that covers his eyes slightly, eyes with heterochromia, one blue and the other brown, small nose with the septum deviated noticeably, forked chin and with an apparent age to mine.

"Uh… you okay?" he asks with complete timidity, with a blush that covers his cheeks.

"Did I stare for too long?" I ask, and it's until then when I release his hand, something I don't remember doing except to get on my feet, something I omitted because I can't stop looking at his eyes for some reason. Not because it's a strange mutation, it's something more that I can't describe.

"Yeah, you actually did, and for a sec I thought you were going to hit me so I thought…".

"What's up with your eyes?" it's my turn to ask, but the way in which it comes out of my lips is aggressive, I recognize it both because of the discomfort that runs through my body also for the way he shrugs and snorts.

"What's up with your hair?" he looks into my eyes and arches his right eyebrow, ready to attack me with words if it's necessary. Still I chuckle while I run a hand through my hair.

" _Touché_ " I say, recognizing that he knew how to respond to my words.

We stay quiet for a moment, he stares at the tips of his shoes while I take another look at him, noting that he's wearing exactly the same as me, except for the red being purple on him, which can only mean that he's another recruit for the dance number of tonight, which mean he's another person with whom I have to deal and socialize.

What I was missing.

"I'm sorry, but they tell me that too many times in the day to not be willing to say something against it" he smiles widely, showing white teeth and almost perfect, except for the lower left incisor that protrudes a little. "Anyway, after that aggressive first impression I'll introduce myself. My name's Liam, and if you were asking I'm not the son of any prince or princess".

"Carlos, and there's no need to say the rest because I'm sure you already know it" I say, reaching out to shake them, to which he responds immediately with his trembling little hands, something that almost goes unnoticed.

"Of course I know, you guys were the topic when you came here, and you still are after everything you had gone through, especially you now that I think about it" I arch my eyebrow when we stop shaking hands, asking him to speak more about what was said of me in my absence. "I-I mean that I assisted to your f-funeral, and seeing you here well… it's… strange, i-if I sum it up in a word".

"You were there?" I ask because I don't think so, that because I was seeing the mourners over and over again, among them I don't remember seeing someone like him, I would certainly remember him since he's not the kind of guy who goes unnoticed because of his looks. He responds by nodding slowly, causing his hair to move more over his forehead. "Do we know each other?".

"Just in sight, we didn't meet in classes but I've seen you in the hallways and in the tourney games, you and that Jay boy, who's awesome for that".

"If it involves violence then he will always be good at it".

He laughs at my comment, he looks at me in the eyes and looks down again, then he kneels to lift what he had in his arms, a few things of paraphernalia, a gray fedora with white details, and a few books. Something like an impulse takes hold of me, condescension perhaps, I wouldn't know how to describe it, but I force myself to help him since it's my fault for which we fell in the first place.

"So… I can see we're finally together in something" he says, laughing and with his lower lip between his teeth, "I mean that we'll be together at the girls' dance number".

"So it seems it will be like, although I was informed by Ally just last night and I had to memorize everything for today".

"Jane asked me to do it, we've been friends since kindergarten, and it would have been rude of me to say no".

"I don't know what that is" he looks at me, like if I had said something inappropriate at the time when everyone is silent, or like if I were more the oddball I use to be every day.

"Isn't there a kindergarten on the Isle of the Lost?" he inquires, sounding curious at the same time as afraid of the way I would react.

"Nothing which has the words garten or children in the name".

"It's a shame, but well, a kindergarten is something like a school attended by small children, between two and three years old. It's the beginning of all academic life here in Auradon".

"In the Isle our academic life begins until our parents decide to send us there, many times against our will, in addition the only school that exists there could be defined rather as a corrective penitentiary, without the part of the norms, or the penitentiary, or corrective".

He laughs once more, which makes me laugh too, mostly because he doesn't know what a hard life is, and he's totally alienated from the kind of things that happen on the other side of the bridge in the ocean, on that portion of floating ground in which people are held, like rats in a laboratory.

I still think that we are a social experiment, regardless of the days that pass I still think so.

"And where's Jay?" he asks when we both get up, he take his books from my hands and it takes me a second to release them since the memory of what happened a couple of minutes comes back with great intensity.

"He… he is… I don't really know where he is, we don't share dorm anymore".

"Oh, okay, but… well… I…" he scratches the back of his head, nervously, like if he were searching in a large repertoire of words those that are more appropriate so that there are no misunderstandings remain, "I-I know it's too much to say but I remember very clearly w-when you kissed on stage, so I thought…" he moves in his place, blushed almost to his ears, like if he were uncomfortable talking about it.

"Is there anything you want to ask me specifically, Liam?" I want to know, cutting off his ways of approaching things. I don't say that they're bad or worse, but the way in which he restrains and shows himself shy almost makes me laugh, not in a tone of mockery, but because of the way he bears things.

"I-it's just that…" I place a hand on his shoulder, which makes him to look up and smile, which also makes him drop the things in his arms.

I think I'm sure where this is going, but again it's a matter of checking some hypothesis.

"Breathe and say it, it's simple" I suggest like in one of those many occasions when someone gave me advice, I didn't take them, and now it's my turn to do so.

"I-I can't" he looks down, he makes fists with his hands with such strength his knuckles turn white. "N-not if you look at me".

"Is there something wrong with my look?"I move off the hand on his shoulder, he reacts to it by following the movement of my arm with his eyes, like if he may wanted to have it on him once more. "Oh, is it because what I said of your eyes? I'm sorry, but I've never seen anyone like that, so I had to ask…".

"It's not about that, I already told you they tell me that so many times in the day for another one to make a difference" he takes a deep, slow breath, then he resumes his trembling eye contact with me, trembling like his lips before speaking. "Y-your eyes are very pretty, so I can't talk just like that, because seeing them r-reminds me of the nervousness I felt w-when I wanted to talk to you for the first time b-but I couldn't for the fear that Jay would further divert the septum from m-my nose with his fist".

Then there's the crux of the matter, my hypotheses are true: Liam, a complete stranger, likes me, maybe for something momentary, maybe because for some people I'm still being the new toy coming out from the Isle of the Lost, maybe because he's nosy in the sense of curiosity like Ally, or maybe because he sees something in me that he would like to know.

I'm not sure of many things now, but I think the best would be to talk about the elephant walking in the hallway with him. Talk about what is obvious.

"What I wanna ask you it's… you know, if… you… would you like to go out with me sometime? Yeah?" he takes small leaps in his place, I raise my eyebrow again for his enthusiasm, something that would not happen to me if I were dealing with a new person, although I must admit that he's someone nice to be with… and to see, "I-I mean that I thought that maybe, I don't know, if you want, after all the Festival we could go to eat something and to the observatory, there's a display of comets that I would like to see, although there's nobody who wants go with me".

"Liam, listen, the point in this is…".

"Oh" he looks down and lets out a trembling sigh, something that makes me shiver, something that pushes me against my will to want to hug him and whisper in his ear that everything will be fine, for him to don't worry. What the fresh hell is going on with me?! "I understand it very well, you don't have to say it".

"I don't?" I inquire, arching my right eyebrow.

"Of course not, because you're obviously going to reject me, so just forget everything I said and…".

"Wait, wait" I say, causing him to stiffen into his place and raise his head slowly. "But I'm not accepting your plan either".

"I-I don't understand" he cocks his head to the right, like Dude when he gets confused by something. Seeing it in Liam's expression makes me want to kick him out of the tenderness that takes over him.

Tenderness?! Really?! I must stop with all that. But I don't want to stop.

"I'll be honest with you, I've just broke up with Jay no more than twenty-four hours ago, I don't know the terms we're in now and neither how fast the rumor will spill, so I'm asking you to don't say a thing" he nods with my words, slowly, like if he were analyzing the background of the situation carefully. "That's why I don't know anything about him, and that's why I can't give you a concise answer, or one that makes us both happy in a certain way. I hope you understand".

"Oh, of course I understand, almost perfectly" he cocks a smile and his eyes get a little moist, he blinks a few times to scare away the tears. "I went through a similar situation with my ex-girlfriend, her name is not important but we broke up because she never liked many things about me, she didn't care of the same stuff as me when I was interested in hers for her, because of that there were constant fights and long periods in which we didn't speak, nothing nice, and it hurt me a lot when it all ended because I thought there might be a moment when she might saw what I was doing for her, what I was willing to do, but it never happened, and that was why I rejected all those who wanted to go out with me, whether it was a boy or a girl, because I was hoping to have that moment to be with her once more" he snorts once again, like if expressing his situation were enough to make everything better. I should do something similar in the future. "What I mean is that it's okay, we can not go out and just see ourselves in the hallways, talk from time to time, meet because of the girls, I don't know, but something that's comfortable for you because, honestly, I don't wanna lose contact with you".

"Would you do that for someone you just met?" I arch my eyebrows in every word, very surprised to see that the selfless, abnegated spirit is instilled in each inhabitant of Auradon, in some more than in others.

"I would do it for someone I really want to know, to know its history, its strengths and weaknesses, what it thinks about certain things, its posture before others, if we share some things in common, but more importantly I would do it for someone who, in the most surprising way there may be, I really like".

We stay quiet, he looks at me until I have to look down, I do the same thing a couple of times to not feel that he's looking deep inside me to know if what I say is true or if it's just another way to protect myself from anything that may happen from now on.

He blushes every time he catches me looking into his eyes, he keeps moving in his place, nervous about this situation, besides from being someone else added to the short list of people I can see after he no longer looks at me, I don't lose interest in what he does or in his ways of reacting. I like the tone of his voice, it's deep most of the time but it gets a little sharper when the emotions are exacerbated in him, he doesn't limit himself to go on expressing what he wants or how everything in him reacts to things.

I like Liam, and I would like to get to know him well, maybe as a simple friend or, if the pieces move in a right way, into something else.

"I'd better go, anyway I have to take this to the stage before the performance and…" he moves his hands toward the floor, before he kneels to lift them I use my magic to stack them, lift them in the air and place them in his outstretched arms. He didn't stop opening his eyes wide when he saw the act, and he jumps back in his place, releasing something like shrieks of joy. "I've never seen anyone do something like that!".

"Surely you have, you're just saying things I'd like to hear".

"Maybe you're right about that, just maybe".

"You should stop flirting with me and give that up before you drop it again" I say, and like if he were challenging me he makes the stack of objects to stagger in his arms, then he laughs with complete arrogance.

"True, although I prefer to stay here and see you smile, in addition to that I like your freckles" he stretches his hand and his thumb caresses my right cheek, which makes it inevitable that I shrug my shoulders at the speed and spontaneity of his actions. "Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you… I could never… for whatever it is and because you probably know more about evil deeds" I raise my eyebrow but I don't try to establish eye contact, I just remain with my arms down. "Don't get me wrong! I-I say that because you come from the Isle, I h-heard that they teach you to hate people on this side of the barrier and all that, t-that's why I say so and…".

"

"Just give that up, I'll see you later anyway" I move his hand off and give him a 'friendly, cordial and brotherly' smack on the right shoulder, he smiles once more before striking his fist against mine, then he turns on his right flank and disappears down the hallway.

The only sounds that interrupt the silence are his joyful whistles.

I run both of my hands down my cheeks, like if I just woke up from some kind of dream I couldn't have yet. Just to confirm I give myself a loud slap, like the ones mom used to give me, with such force that small black dots cloud the corners of my eyes, making me to wobble a little.

The pain doesn't wake me up.

The environment doesn't change suddenly.

I'm not dreaming, everything that just happened with Liam was real.

Liam…

I shake my head and build myself up with enough courage to go outside, I do it by dodging people, accusing hands and looks of reproach (will the day for their ending will come?), until I reach the courtyards and climb a random tree, barely high enough for my legs to swing freely on both sides of a thick branch that will no doubt support my slight weight.

The foliage hides me, the only visible things are my thin calves covered by the loose pants and my inseparable pair of boots.

I clasp my hands behind my head and close my eyes, anyway eighty-five percent of the classes were suspended for the festivity, all mine included in that percentage, so the best I can do to kill the time before the beginning is to enjoy the wind, the sound of the leaves when they sway with the breeze, the heat of the afternoon, the talks in the distance, besides from one of the hobbies that just a few know about me, climbing trees.

If I focus totally on what I think and let myself be carried by it then I understand my stupid and incoherent smile.

My thinking revolves around Liam and many possibilities while my legs swing on the sides of the branch.

* * *

"Hey, hey" I hear before I feel a stone striking in the exact spot between my eyebrows, an accuracy that only a few people can have, "you'd better get down there before you fall and break your neck".

"You know better than anyone I've never fallen from a tree, I'm the best at it" I answer, shaking my shoulders and not bothering to see him.

"Don't make me prove you wrong, just get down already".

I groan and open my eyelids, seeing that the sun is at a point that produces shades of yellow, orange and pink lights in the sky with few clouds, the breeze begins to cool a little while the rotating spotlights are lit, invading a perfect sky with artificial lighting.

I look down at Jay, who has a couple more pebbles in his hand, he's playing with them, a silent threat that he will throw them if I don't do what he says. I do what he wants, taking my time to stretch, to dispel the fatigue that looms over me, the drowsiness that remains in the imaginary, to climb down from the tree with slow and sure steps, 'doing it cautiously to avoid an accident', until I finally touch the ground, stretching my back one more time before turning towards him.

He looks at me with a smile, he arches his right eyebrow before rolling his eyes and growling low, like if he really were annoyed.

"You made me get down the tree to…?".

"Mal said you were here, she ordered me to look out for you to settle the last details of your dance number or something, truth is I couldn't hear her clearly among such many people being haunted as hens by a coyote in their hen house" I arch my eyebrow, looking for the point of the conversation. "Mal send me to look out for you, period".

"Now you don't wanna kill each other?" I start walking to no particular part, just doing it to find Mal with my look anywhere, he growls again before reaching me and putting his arm over my shoulders, he pulls me closer to his body to which I react shrinking, almost letting my magic act and send him at least twenty meters away from me. A defense.

"She ordered me to look out for you and I did it, I told her to do the same with Evie because I wanna talk to you" I turn my head to see him out of the corner of my eye, still smiling and looking straight ahead. "I want us to be together again as a group, as the team in the evilness we used to be when we left the Isle and arrived here, as the faithful group that got disintegrated until recently, although you and I are no longer a thing, as you want it, I want to know that there are people I can go to if I need something".

I swallow the bitter taste that takes hold of my mouth, everything that boils within me is trapped and I hope I never get to a point where everything can come out of my mouth in the form of insults, or maybe some spell I can cast that gets my skills to go up.

During all he said I didn't stop to hear him talking about him, himself and he, about what he wants us together for things he hopes to obtain in the future.

I nod slowly and close my eyelids tightly to relax, I take a deep breath and let him be my eyesight so I don't trip over the wires of the spotlights, with the tables being decorated for those who prefer to watch or eat instead of dancing or joining in a better way to celebrate.

Everything around us is being decorated in blue in the various shades of the color, from pure blue to sky blue, cobalt blue, indigo, all down to ultramarine blue, predominantly being there the sky and sapphire ones. The guests are not all wearing the color to dress, an exaggeration although this is Auradon, but they have details so the sense doesn't get missed, from small pins or ties to people who have dyed their hair or eyebrows with electric blue, that tone that would blind anyone who saw it in broad daylight.

"How was your morning?" he asks out of nowhere, making me to take his arm off my shoulders and keep walking, regardless of whether he follows me or not.

"Fine, I woke up late so I just got dressed and left the dorm, nothing interesting happens to someone like me".

"My morning was also boring, I had breakfast, went to the gym for a while and then I ran a circuit that I invented in the forest, we should try it".

"I don't like to run, or to be in the woods, and if I could choose to have wheels then I would prefer them to have to walk" we walk down the opposite side of the tent placed in the main courtyard, something that brings me intense memories of that first kiss that we had for the public eye.

"But if you had wheels you will not dance, it doesn't sound a very good plan".

"You're right, but I prefer it anyway".

The conversation is not full of games or light hits, no one laughs or turns to see what the other does, it's only a monotonous conversation, boring and strictly meaningless, it's something we're doing so that we don't make more evident what happened between us.

Besides seeing him pretend that he didn't sneak into my dorm makes my patience begin to have its limits.

We continue along the courtyard until we reach the bleachers, where Mal is walking from side to side with her nails between her teeth, and from here I see that her eyes are glowing, showing how enraged she must be. Evie stands with her back against a tube, arms crossed and talking to her, trying to calm her, something that she will not get so easily. The two of them are wearing their outfits for the performance, and from this distance I can see that theirs have purple and blue details respectively, something that couldn't be missed.

Before we can get there someone takes my arm, and sadly it's not who I thought it would be. It's Ally, who takes me away from Jay only about six paces away, the ones she thinks are necessary for some privacy and from him to don't know what she's going to tell me.

"Didn't you get my message?" she asks, noticing her accent more, and it's until then when I notice that she's trembling, not like if she were angry or cold, but she rather seems anxious, like if she feared that the worst would happen.

"Message?" I say, taking out my cell phone and showing that there's nothing on the screen, but it's not what she's referring to since she moves it away, shakes her head and lets out a heavy sigh.

"No, not a text one, I sent a friend of Jane, Liam, to your dorm to tell you about the last rehearsal we would do to see that everything was in order, we waited about half an hour and you never showed up".

"That was because they never told me anything!" I say, now taking the side of anxiety in this, since a rehearsal with everyone else wouldn't have come more need in this, I would have understood the why of some sequences and how the whole number would end since it was a part that I could never see in the videos. "But that can be fixed, I swear I'll do my best, but now I was going to talk to Mal and Evie about something that involves Jay and me".

"Try to get the missing parts explained to you in the best way, and if they don't you can turn to me, or Liam, or the girls, whoever! But don't let it be something that goes just like that".

"It will not, relax, but now I must go".

She takes two long strands of golden hair with her hands, puts them on her face before letting out an extremely sharp scream, so much that it hurts my ears, and something that doesn't seem to be a good idea if she's going to sing in short.

She turns and runs to the tent, knocking down a couple of waiters, before finding Liam coincidentally, she holds him by the arms and shakes him so much that even I feel dizzy, then she takes his ear to make him walk behind her, like any mother would do it on the Isle to give a lesson to a child, a mother to a small child, that before resorting to total physical violence.

"What was that all about?" he asks, chuckling.

"I'd like to know it too".

We go back towards the girls, Mal's eyes seem to be glowing more than usual, like if she had seen us take that fleeting interruption and she seeks the slightest provocation to explode, which she surely will do.

"Great, you finally decided to make your freaking appearance" Mal growls at the moment when we're three paces away, the moment when I want to turn around and talk with whoever it is less with her, not if she's like that.

"Mal, manners, remember we've changed" Evie rebukes her in a calm voice.

"The hell with it, E, I'm not in the mood with the stuff we have to do tonight, what we have to do to make Auradon believe that we've changed but that deep down, very, _very_ deep, I enjoy doing all that nonsense, and I feel worse when this one" she says, referring obviously to Jay with a hand that glows slightly with a green tone, "decides that it's plain and simple to seek a meeting between the four of us when by his fault our little best friend ended up dead".

"But I'm not anymore" the three of them turn their heads with their eyes open, too surprised that I had said something, and even more so because it's somewhat oriented to defend him. I don't shrug, I actually stretch my back, "I'm no longer it, I will not be it again until I grow old, or because of an arrow piercing my body, I don't know, the point is that maybe we should listen to him".

Mal rolls her eyes, the glow fading slowly, Evie crosses her arms and closes her eyes to breathe a couple of times. Meanwhile Jay gives me a small smile, he gives me a squeeze on the shoulder and stretches his fist, act that I respond to crash them since perhaps a friendship can come out of the ashes of this, the resurrection that could be expected. Although only perhaps.

Jay opens his mouth to speak, with a smile on his lips and as if this were going to be something simple, but it's when I stand next to Evie, and Mal next to me, when he has the three of us in front of him, the moment when everything in him seems to tremble, he slides both hands in his pockets, shrugs, plays with invisible pebbles on his feet and moves from side to side, the opposite to who he usually is.

I hope seeing him like this to be one of those things I can never forget.

"I-I…" he swallows hard, causing the prominence in his throat to move heavily, like if with that he swallows his pride too. "I'm sorry".

We remain quiet, me digesting what he just said out loud, an apology externalized out loud. Out of the corner of my eyes I see that Mal covers her mouth with her hands, obviously avoiding laughing in his face about what he has just said, while Evie puts both hands on her chest, shaken or something, seeing that these magical lands have effects on him.

Auradon still has an effect on us; who knows how far it will go.

"This is harder than I thought, and not belonging here makes it worse".

"Just talk, you're off to a good start" Evie says, smiling and using a tone of voice that would even encourage me to continue with this. I can almost forget that he wants to come to us more than to see us united as a team, almost.

"First of all I want to apologize for everything I did, Carlos, once again and although you don't believe what I say I'm sorry, every day when you weren't here I did, and now not seeing you in the dorm reminds me of the biggest mistake I've ever made, betraying you in the worst way there may be, betraying your trust and what you felt for me, but it's like I said, I don't belong here and everything I barely learned on the Isle is still present, reminding me where I come from and that if I act over what I want I will not be punished".

"Stop, stop, stop, wait a minute" Mal interrupts him. Question time. "What you felt? What exactly does that mean, Carlos?".

"I think it's pretty obvious, M" Evie says, soliloquising loudly, her voice soft and rolling her eyes to avoid being killed with her eyes.

"Evie's right" I say, now taking my respective turnout just to provide an explanation to the most obvious thing there can be at this point. "To shorten it, Jay and I are no longer together".

"Well, I feel very satisfied knowing that at least you two could make a more or less intelligent decision, both of you".

"As I was saying" he speaks again, clearly not being able to listen to the letter that Mal has prepared for him, "after that I want to apologize to the three of you, like my friends and my life partners, as a group that was united against Maleficent and that it should follow united no matter what happens, so that any new challenge that this new life gives us will be easy to overcome".

He runs his hands through his hair, short and ruffled, and he seems to forget that it is no longer the usual length since when his hands go down his shoulders they seem to want to cling to something. Everything is new for him, for us too.

Mal is the first to walk towards him, arms crossed, the grimace of displeasure she always carries on, and with her eyes glowing in intervals of one or two seconds, to not cease to be threatening. She stands in front of him, runs him from head to toe, making him to shrug his shoulders more, she turns just a little to send a last subtle message to Evie before opening her arms and surrounding him, resting her head over his right shoulder.

Evie is the next one to move, stretching her arms since she stands up and surrounds him as well, placing her head on his left shoulder. Jay looks surprised since he backs up a couple of steps, raises his head like if I were going to give him a confirmation of whether that's real or not.

I lift my shoulders and lower my gaze, I hold the smile tightening my lips as I put myself between the girls, encircling them with my thin arms until Jay reacts again, he hugs them around the waist and his hands are placed on my lower back, tracing small circles. The four of us sigh.

"We will protect each other from now on, no garbage from Auradon will be able to get between us" says Mal, splitting the multiple hug, "and this doesn't mean that I'll stop casting spells against you, it's something I will not stop doing for a while until I feel you have had enough".

"As long as it doesn't involve broken bones or me to suffer for all eternity then I think I can handle it in a good way".

"You ruin the fun, and you just eliminated two ideas I hadn't thought of".

The explosions that precede a discussion interrupt us, those that make me jump as well as they also pollute the perfect sky and invade it with fireworks of different colors, some explode once to go back to do it with more color a couple of seconds later, some others make impressive drawings and even project messages with lit letters of color in the sky that begins to darken, impossible for them to be created with simple gunpowder and fire; a little magic must be involved on it, that's for sure.

I place myself at his left side while the girls do it to the right one, the four of us walk in the direction of the tent, which got completely filled with guests who knows at what time they arrived. Jay's hand is firmly placed on my shoulder, mine on his waist, and it's like if neither of us wanted to let the other one go even if it's best for both, for everyone.

"We're rotten…" he says, taking our motto from Mal.

"To the core" we reply, my voice echoing more amidst the commotion of the fireworks, the cheers, and the girls. His hand on my shoulder tenses his grip, he tilts a smile and the four of us step in.

It was a fairly simple apology as well as short. I don't believe it for anything.

"… so, dear inhabitants of Auradon, let's start with the Blue Festival!" says Ben, gaining the support of the crowd. His parents are behind him, applauding and smiling, greeting, too happy that Ben is nothing more than a teenager in charge of a kingdom.

It still seems like a big mistake for me, being my friend or not, but it's not like if I could object against something like that because, as Jay said, I don't belong here, nor I did belong to him, only to myself. Only to myself.

We pass by the tables, greeting some guests that at least I only know by sight, also to those who doesn't look at me like if I were a real monster, and we walk behind the scenes, watching groups and soloists walking from here to there, reciting in a low voice what they will do, their turn, the type of lighting they need, the instruments they need as support, giving the final arrangements to their outfits, etc., everything that usually happens in an event like these. As I recall we are the third number to be performing, the one which I'll do as a soloist is the fifth, Audrey being the intermediary in it.

I haven't known anything about her or about the scandal Aurora wanted to do from the 'incident' with the armor, except there was no damage and all of them were going to be removed to avoid future accidents.

"How come you still like to do this?" he says when we're alone, the girls move to the others to reassure the bundle of nerves that Ally is now. I stand in front of him so we can talk. "I mean, there must be a point where you consider it boring, I'm sure there is".

"Honestly there isn't one, it's something I'm not used doing, something that doesn't make me think about the Isle, on mom, in all that, it's kinda refreshing" he looks at me with an arched eyebrow, using non-verbal language. "Don't look at me like that, you know it is, but this time you didn't want to participate, besides…".

"There you are!" Liam's voice, exalted and somewhat relieved, makes me take a small leap. I think my fear of loud sounds will never get to be overcome, but now it would be false to say that I don't feel a little annoyed at not having received the news of the last rehearsal. "I've been looking for you everywhere!".

"To tell me about the last rehearsal before the performance?" I cross my arms and arch my eyebrow, before which his smile disappear painfully slow, he looks down to the floor and slides his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, did Ally tell you already?" he asks, looking at me for just a minute. I'm sure he would lower his ears if he had the ability to do it, like if he were a puppy being punished.

"More than saying it was giving her a chance to hit me".

"I was going to tell you! I swear I was going to do it!" he raises his hands in the air, like if I were threatening to kill him. Are we really still so dangerous in the eyes of others? "But since we were talking in the hallway I forgot the reason why Ally had sent me there, I didn't think that seeing you could made me…".

Jay clears his throat in a very loud way, _too loud_ , highlighting his presence and reminding me that he's still here, making me remember that Liam appeared behind him from one moment to other and almost made me forget completely about his existence.

Liam turns on his heels and backs up a couple of steps, not like if he were afraid, or so I think, he rather does as a way to be able to talk to Jay at a distance that allows him to have about two milliseconds of advantage if he decides to track him down until he can beat his lights out.

"Oh, Jay, hi!" Liam reaches out and smiles at him. "My name is Liam, it's nice to meet you".

It has been pretty clear that Jay has never been happy with anyone who comes near me, he hasn't ever been, he isn't, and surely he never will be, like now that he looks at Liam like if it he were a sack of sand that is ready to endure the best beating he hasn't been able to give so far, like on that occasion when he won fifty gold coins and fifty silver ones in a fight against five other boys, one of them had to beat the others in whatever term it was, the point was to see blood running and people beating the hell out of the other.

It was simple for him, he was the first one to lash out at each one, the wildest state I've ever seen him in my life, being a complete beast who can't remember his human side. He was twelve and I was ten, and it was one of those times when I thought I'd never see him alive again.

"Ain't ya a ray of sunshine?" he snaps, arching an eyebrow, crossing his arms, and using that sarcastic tone that I'd almost forgot about him in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable, and to someone as sensitive as Liam is something that certainly has its effects. In addition he certainly has him cataloged as a professional ass-kisser, the name he usually gives to the students of the Prep.

He lowers his hand slowly, somewhat disappointed that he wasn't able to start a pleasant talk with him, and he should be grateful that Jay is not going to jump from a tree on him so he doesn't come back near me, which I'm sure he would do.

"Uh, well, since I'm not welcome in here I think I'd better go somewhere else" he points to the right, and before anyone can say anything, he begins to go away striding.

"Don't go too far" I say, swallowing the lump in my throat for what just happened, feeling annoyed at Jay since Liam just wanted to be nice, and I also think he's kind of a fan of his.

"Yeah, don't do it, there are a couple of things I'd like to talk to you about".

I froze in my place as I watch Liam smile once more, he turns around and runs to Ally, wrapping her in a hug during which he surely is reading a short version of his will. Jay's not going to kill him… today…

I regain my composure when thinking of his well-being returns the circulation of my body to a functional state, I take him by the arm and drag him to a place where there are few people, where the noise of the stage will serve to cover up our talk. I loosen him and immediately he crosses my arms, which I also do.

"Was that completely necessary?" I ask, tensing my jaw.

"Didn't you see the way he feared me? Damn, I'd have paid for a picture of his face, I would have paid I said!" I hit him on the arm.

"He was just trying to talk to you, to socialize with you, is that a problem?".

"Of course it is, he wanted to deal with me to get to you, so I wouldn't hit him if I saw him by your side, he had written 'guilty' and 'I wanna be in Carlos' arms" in that deviated nose of his since he looked at you".

"That's not true" I say, not sure about what I'm saying, "besides, I was the one who was upset with him for not telling me Ally's order this morning".

"And that's another thing, thanks for mentioning it, dude" he runs a hand through his hair, hoping to hold something at the level of his shoulder again. "Carlos, we broke up less than a day ago, what I least expected is that you would take the title of 'man-whore' from me and use it to get a boy so fast".

I knew what was coming, the tingling in my body announced it, everything he said was a farce and now the truth is coming out, something that really hurt me because it is partly true to the point that I want to try something with Liam, it is false because I don't want it to happen just like that, it needs its time.

I breathe deeply one, two, three, five times, those I need to re-orient my thoughts and not act hastily. I uncross my arms and look up at the ceiling, waiting for the moment to formulate wishes to arrive and from mine to be granted, stupid as it may be.

"I always knew you didn't mean it when you apologized to the girls" I look down and catch him with his eyes narrowing at me. "And I'm not quite sure what you're hoping to get from me now that the group has returned, but if you're looking is me to go back being with you then you'll have to make such a big effort for me to forget the kind of fucking horrible person you are".

"Carlos… I…" he begins to say but I don't hear him, I just walk by his side, hitting him with my arm when I pass next to him. I don't use my magic, I just turn around to say one last thing.

"By the way, my song is about you, so whether you stay or not, I care very little if you listen to me, anyway you've never done it".

I don't understand very well if the time passes more quickly when someone is pissed or something like that, the only thing I know is that I approach to the others at the moment when we must take the stage. The curtain falls as Fairy Godmother introduces us, I take my position with the rest of the boys, the girls in front, and I try to gather in my imagination what I heard about the closing of the performance.

The music begins to play, making everyone to be quiet, a piano background with some deep notes while a spotlight lights on over Evie, she's looking down but with a smile on her face, who had the idea to use this song and who was the main one in establishing the steps of the number. The light shines on her hat and on her entire outfit.

 _Put your sneakers on_

 _Put your sneakers on,_

 _We're goin' dancin' all night long_

The curtain lifts up slowly when she finishes with the last word, revealing all the dancers standing behind her, though for the moment it's just Mal, Evie, Jane, Jordan, Lonnie, Freddie and Ally those who are going to impress everyone, the boys are something like backup dancers.

 _I got somewhere to be (where to be, where to be)_

 _I want you to come with me (come with me)_

 _See, I've put my sneakers on_

 _'Cause I'm gonna keep dancin'_

 _After they all go home_

Mal does the choirs that follow Evie's voice, they both point to Ben and Doug respectively, the others do so with a pair of strangers who were only drooling to see a set of provocative dance steps with exposed parts of skin on legs, arms, back and chest, idea of… Jane. Probably the elders must be going through an awkward moment, some of them perhaps on the edge of a heart attack, but that's what happens when a group of teenagers is in charge of the fun for everyone present at the Festival.

 _So are you ready?_

 _Did you eat?_

 _Do you have the energy?_

 _Are you reloaded?_

 _Are you able to stay on your feet?_

 _Don't want you passing out_

 _After a couple o' hours of beats_

 _We're gonna keep going, and going, and going_

 _Yeah, 'cause_

Mal takes the lead from that next part, with the rest of the girls making backup vocals for her. Basically this is another moment that Auradon gives them to prove that they actually took a corrective path, and since everyone is clapping and singing at their rhythm I think they're slaying it, on the other hand it's finally the time when the guys step out on stage, where once again I'm in front of the public eye. Again.

 _Basically what we're gonna do is dance_

 _Basically what we're gonna do is dance_

 _Basically what we're gonna do is dance_

 _It will come easily when you hear the beat (oh)_

 _Basically what we're gonna do is dance_

 _Basically what we're gonna do is dance_

 _Don't you even worry 'bout other plans_

 _Yeah that's right, it's sneaker night_

The whole performance is based on hip-hop steps, some that are slow before becoming explosive, aggressive and fast in the next moment, my favorite kind of dance, in addition to that we could do in a totally coordinated way during the party thrown at Ben's coronation.

I manage to put aside the voices of the girls to focus on what I do and for what I am here, to redeem myself once again before all of them. The boys are supposed to prepare something like a solo at the end of the whole show, a few seconds to do the kind of dance we want, and because I was only practicing one night before I get the last few seconds.

I don't remember the names of the others because it's not like if I had stopped to know with whom I would make a performance today, except a guy who's on the tourney team, Mike, Kevin from my Chemistry class, the other three are complete strangers, not to mention Liam I'm-not-the-son-of-any-prince-or-princess.

 _When the sun goes down (sun goes down)_

 _Oh we wake up (we wake up)_

 _A good night's sleep_

 _Ha! No need!_

 _No problem staying awake (no, no)_

 _When the beat is like an earthquake_

 _And we're unstoppable_

 _We're uncontrollable_

 _Just admit it_

 _You can't stop it_

 _It's addictive_

 _Yeah, yeah, yeah!_

Evie, Mal, Lonnie, Jane with Jordan, Ally and Freddie take over the last verse, one phrase for each one of them in that order, in the middle they split between two sides, the girls from the Isle and the girls from Auradon, they sing in a chorus, smiling, excited and happy, before asking for applauses to the crowd and for them to start cheering, before giving way to the boys at our moment to shine, opening a semicircle, while they continue to sing.

Mike begins with a simple step, something called _stanky leg_ , which the people on the dance floor try to imitate; Kevin follows him with something called _popping_ , a step that involves more difficulty because of the kind of looseness it carries in the body, like if each limb were separated from the other to give a mind-blowing effect with each movement; the other guys whose names I simply can't remember make a helicopter, _shuffling_ and Nae Nae respectively, getting the crowd to get crazier; for my part I do a little _moonwalk_ , a simple movement that I do all over the stage before concluding with a somersault backwards; Liam is the one who concludes with something called _pop, lock_ and _drop it_ , moving his hips and his whole body with such energy that all the guys follow his rhythm while the end of the song approaches.

 _Oh, put your sneakers on_

 _Oh let's go all night long_

At the end of the song, a chorus made by all the girls, we all get gathered in the middle of the stage, the boys kneeling and catching our breath, the girls over us with their arms crossed and serious expressions on their faces, something like their moment of empowerment, both for the girls of Auradon as for those of the Isle, something that was mentioned they were going to do in the small conversation given about what was rehearsed.

The crowd goes crazy when the performance ends, the applause for them, the cheers for us, the acclaiming for all, there even get to be present a couple of flowers flying over our heads and falling at our feet.

We stand up and hold hands, we make a final bow before the curtain falls in front of us, then we all start jumping and congratulate ourselves because of the great effort we have just made, one that would certainly have made us win some sort of competition.

Liam places his arm and all his weight on my shoulders, I know because he's the only one who would take that freedom in addition to the girls or Ally. I do the same thing as him and we join hands to the center along with all the others, we raise them in the air in the second following.

"The best dance crew ever!" we say in unison before one last hug and head to the front of the stage, where the audience congratulate us once again while we take a seat at one of the tables nearby.

I sit between Mal and Evie, Liam between Ally and Jane, although I'm sure we would have ended up together on our places, but it's the fact that Jay is looking from a corner, with his arms crossed, which made me think the best thing for him is that we're not yet so close to each other.

I snort before dropping my head back over the back of the chair, catching my breath and using the cap to give myself a little more of air, just in the moment when I see Ben walking towards us, with a smile over his face that would be the perfect definition for 'I'm about to do something that will not be easy to any of you at all'.

I raise my head again when he's two steps away, but he decides to kiss Mal on the cheek first, something for what she wrinkles her nose before letting out a giggle of a girl in love, before turning her head and, in a twist of events, giving him back a small kiss on the cheek. I'm not sure what I missed out on her but that's certainly something that would have been worth talking about.

"You made a great performance, although many here talked about that it was a little inappropriate for the younger audience".

"Ben, give it a break, if we couldn't do things that goes according to our age then we the girls should be wearing dresses with huge holans, fans and silk gloves that reach up to cover our arms, the boys should be wearing black suits, bowler hat and a cane, besides I'm sure we couldn't be close to each other, so no thanks" Jordan says, taking a sip from a bubbly golden drink and letting out a sound of relaxation.

"And we owe the interruption of King Obvious because…?" Freddie begins to say, with a suspicious-looking brown drink in her hand, to which she takes a sip before smiling and looking at him, passing Mal's green glow.

"Oh, of course, I came to say that Audrey decided not to appear, so by deduction it's Carlos's turn to take the stage".

I was unlucky the first time I had to perform a song for Auradon and I was the first one on the list that time, now the fact that Audrey preceded me and she no longer does it makes me think that there's a trick underneath, but anyway I swallow whatever it is that seizes me and I stand without objecting, without letting the fear of what may happen to seize me, only in order to show once again what I'm thinking and feeling through a song.

I came back behind the scenes when I hear Fairy Godmother's voice saying that Audrey felt unwell to make her show, although I'm sure I had seen her wandering through the courtyards before it all began. I don't bother changing my outfit for something more appropriate to the performance, not even how I look to be in front of everyone again, I just worry about leveling my breath and not faint for the notes that I'm going to sing.

I take my place on the stool in front of the microphone as I requested, the elderly woman who has been in charge of the piano throughout the evening lifts her thumbs in my direction, giving me a little more encouragement than I would have liked to hear from the girls, or from Liam…

"Alright, alright, our next number is in charge of the sweetest person I have ever met, the boy who, together with his friends, took the right path in his life and now they have become citizens who reflect a total change to their roots" says Fairy Godmother, removing the mystery about who is on the other side of the curtain. "Ladies and gentlemen, Carlos de Vil!".

At the moment when the curtain begins to lift up and the piano starts with its notes is when the nervousness wants to take me, reason why I take the microphone and the base, as support. When the light from the spotlight hits my face I moisten my lips, looking down at the table to see Evie, Mal, Liam and everyone else looking at me intently, which is why I smile before looking at a point in the tent so that they don't say I'm singing towards someone, rather that I do it because of someone.

 _Someone to hold you too close_

 _Someone to hurt you too deep_

 _Someone to sit in your chair_

 _To ruin your sleep._

I take a deep breath while the memories of a lifetime alongside with Jay decide to be present, like that series of snapshots I seem never be able to pull away. Whether I want it or not Jay is going to be there, being a part of me, a good one and a bad one, one that has led me to be the person behind the microphone and doing my best on stage.

 _Someone to need you too much,_

 _Someone to know you too well,_

 _Someone to pull you up short_

 _To put you through hell._

I look down at the moment when I see Jay moving towards Liam, he takes him by the shoulder and whispers something in his ear, before which he nods with a smile and stands before going to the far side of the tent, without stepping out of it, where they shake hands and start a conversation while I'm right here, on the stool, watching what they do while I try not to forget the lyrics of the song for the interaction that I feared while it happens.

 _Someone to crowd you with love,_

 _Someone to force you to care,_

 _Someone to make you come through,_

 _Who'll always be there,_

 _A-as frightened a-as you_

 _Of being alive,_

 _Being alive,_

 _Being alive,_

 _Being alive._

I'm pleased to see people congregating on the dance floor with their partners, spinning in long ways, dancing slow and close, satisfied in a way for what I'm giving them, but I'm more pleased to see that the conversation between Liam and Jay ends with another handshake before Jay pulls him into a hug that takes him by surprise as much as me since I hesitate, they pull away and give themselves a last smile before I see Liam walking down to the stage while Jay stands there with his arms folded and frowning. I look back at the point in nothingness; I should not look at them, I should not.

 _Somebody, hold me too close,_

 _Somebody, hurt me too deep,_

 _Somebody, sit in my chair_

 _And ruin my sleep_

 _And make me aware_

 _Of being alive,_

 _Being alive._

I imagine myself next to Liam, learning things about him at the same time that he learns about me, while we let the future to take its course, in a space where we form one more couple that's conformed by the scum that is a boy coming from the Isle and by the neatness of a boy from Auradon. He's willing to take that risk, to be seen in a reprehensible way, to turn his life around, to be with me, which makes me feel insignificant and weak by the tear that streams down my cheek. This is all too confusing…

 _Somebody, need me too much_

 _Somebody, know me too well_

 _Somebody, pull me up short_

 _And put me through hell_

 _And give me support_

 _For being alive_

 _Make me alive_

 _Make me alive_

 _Make me confused_

 _Mock me with praise_

 _Let me be used_

 _Vary my days_

 _But alone is alone, not alive_

I can't fight against it anymore and it's during that stanza when I look at Jay and Liam in unequal times, putting on a scale, meditating, thinking of hundreds of possibilities, how everything is going to be now if I decide to start something with one or return to be with the other. Feeling of being alive, being loved, believing that someone needs me, being something meaningful to others, all that is ruminating in my head while another tear slips down my cheek to see that I have talent and that I'm making a change. Can I get it from Jay? I don't know. Can I get it from Liam? I don't know. Can I get it from someone else? I don't know.

 _Somebody, crowd me with love_

 _Somebody, force me to care_

 _Somebody, let me come through_

 _I'll always be there_

 _As frightened as you_

 _To help us survive_

 _Being alive_

 _Being alive_

 _Being alive_

Literally everyone stands up when I finish with the last prolonged note, I catch my breath while the applause becomes deafening, the whistles seem willing to make me deaf, and even those who dance start jumping in their place, smiling and asking for me to do it again.

I stand up to make a final bow, I stretch my back as the curtain falls in front of me and then a pair of thin arms surround my torso in a hug so fleeting that it makes me growl. I turn on my heels to meet Jay's new friend giving me a smile, blushing and scratching his nape, nervous, but before either of us can talk we move to a place next to the curtain where we don't bother those who are about to perform.

"Carlos… that was… that was… I really have no words that come close to a description of what I felt while I was listening to you, it was something truly beautiful, something that moved me very deep inside for being able to see a small part of you that such many people don't know, your weakest part, the most human part" I listen to his voice, hearing him say all that makes my chest feel warm and thinking to be difficult, but I can't look at him in the face, not without thinking about the things I want to ask him now that I was thinking about him while I sang a song so true and so absurd. "Besides with all that…".

"How would you react if I asked you to hug me?".

His eyes, opened by the surprise of what I have just asked him, lie on my face, he looks at me closely and with trembling lips, everything in him trembles, like if he were looking for some of those signs to take me as a jest; I don't do anything for him to think about it, I just smile.

He puts his hands on my shoulders, lets out a trembling exhalation that makes me think that story about his ex-girlfriend is not true and this is the first time he's in contact with someone he likes. I do the same as him, putting my hands on his shoulders, before taking the initiative and ending with the space existing between us, making a movement that ends up with his body pressed against mine, my arms at his waist and his arms around my neck, my head resting over his shoulder and his face sinking a little in me, all that before we both let out a deep sigh and his hands to start moving over my back, going up and down slowly, making me to relax.

I don't know what he is experiencing but it's like if my heart were about to explode inside my chest, the beating in my ears are telling me so, I'm about to faint because of the new sensation that takes over me, it is intoxicatingly relaxing at the same time I'm still feeling that this is the first time I am doing this kind of thing; a guy from Auradon makes me feel this kind of thing once more, someone who I'm dying to get to know and who, for whatever that I've lived, has become someone who catches my eye. Is it for real that I can feel in this way right now, or am I just letting my imagination to work too much for all this? I wouldn't know how to answer it.

"I needed this" I say over his shoulder, causing him to sigh again.

"I'd like to have you in my arms for a few more minutes, please".

I close my eyelids slowly and yield to his request, placing my nose on his shoulder so that his arms cling to me. His body is still trembling against mine, the heat emanating from him seems to be increasing; everything that happens in him makes me wonder if I had reacted in the same way when I was with Jay and I couldn't realize it for being more concerned about other stuff than with myself.

"Jay told me a couple of things while you were on stage, one in particular that still rumbles inside my head" he says, so that we split the hug just enough to allow me to watch him smiling and with a new blush on his cheeks, getting close enough so that I can hear him better over the thundering music and the rest of talks happening.

"He really did?" I reply, pretending surprise and bewilderment, moving my head so that listening to my voice against his ear is not a problem. I can't help but notice the way he shudders when my breath touches his skin, it almost makes me smile at the chills he feels. "May I know what he told you?".

"It was about you, of course you can know it" he smiles once more, he takes my hand and takes us as far as possible from all the chatter that unfolds through the Festival until we reach a place where the music is less audible, where privacy can even be breathe. "He asked me that, and I quote his words, if something happened between us, I would do my best to give you what he couldn't give you and that he believes he will never be able to give you: give you someone".

I look at him, wanting to know everything he said while I was watching them from the stage, but he seems so stunned to confess something so important that all I do is to place my hand on his nape to keep him from scratching it, before placing his forehead against mine, smiling and letting the new feelings to take over my body.

I caress his hair, using my fingernails and my fingers to feel his tufts moving against my skin. He yields to my touch, tilting his head and rubbing his cheek more against my hand. A smile begins to widen more and more over his lips, making him to look like the shyest boy in the kingdom, and that because I haven't known the others.

"And you would be that someone?" I ask, feeling that this whole situation of the new interaction is frustrating when technically I have Jay's permission to do whatever I want, and yet it would seem wrong.

"I can't swear it to you, because promises are easy to break, but be sure that, i-if you fall, I'll b-be there t-to catch you" he says firmly, using a low voice, one that trembles when I move the hair covering his forehead and his eyes, the most fascinating genetic alteration I've ever seen.

Before I can lean over his lips and express everything what I'm fighting against a couple of chimes interrupt the performance that was taking place, a number that involved juggling and stunts.

Liam takes my hand and we run as fast as we can outside the tent, followed by a couple more people. On the outside the sky has finally been dyed blue, the phenomenon by which the Festival bears the name. The stars shine on the horizon, some more than the others, but they are all enveloped by something like a bluish magical veil.

"It's time to make your wish!" he says, squeezing his eyelids tightly closed with the smile of an excited person on his face.

I let out a sigh, watching him while he moves his lips to announce his wish. The rest of people do the same, some place their hands on their hearts, others lift them to the sky, there are those who spread them to their sides, and there are those who do nothing except make their wish with an inner voice. Mal and Evie stand next to me but a few feet away, taking Ben and Doug's hand respectively before joining to the wish request.

I close my eyelids and snort, crossing my arms when I feel the look of someone on me, someone who is easy to guess. I shrug at the moment when several ideas about what I would like to get gather together in my head, being only one that could solve all this. And it's not to die again.

«I wish to return to the moment before a bad decision, to amend it».

* * *

When I open my eyelids again a blinding light prevents me from seeing clearly, the one that gradually loses its intensity until at last I can see more clearly. I'm in a white space, devoid of people and festivity, the total opposite to the place where I was a second ago.

Everything seems to be surrounded by a haze that hardly obstructs sight, and in the distance I can see a couple of people standing up, without moving and with their heads held high, like if they were in some kind of hypnotic trance. From one moment to another some of them begin to disappear, fading, while I remain here.

I turn my head when I feel someone's look back over me, in the moment I do it I see a girl who in appearance looks a lot like Ally, blond hair, blue eyes and blue dress. The difference remains in the fact that there are wings coming out from her back, fragmented in some areas, there are dark circles around her eyes similar to mine, a magical wand that seems improvised in her hands, and she's floating in the air, like a ghost.

She gives me a smile, but she doesn't seem completely happy about it, besides in her eyes can be perceived something strange, like if they are hollowed out in the background.

"Well, I didn't expect a person from the Isle of the Lost to have a heart pure enough to receive my mother's attention".

"Your mother?" I ask, feeling even weirder by the monotony in her voice, a voice that sounds echoic.

"I'm the daughter of the Blue Fairy, my name is not important, but what matters is that she told me to grant your wish" she raises her magic wand in the air, but before moving it to make my wish come true she sketches a smile that shows yellow and crooked teeth. "For a price".

"A price?" I arch my eyebrow, suspecting more of all this. "I don't see the reason why you ask for a price, grant my wish and…".

A crack appears in the middle of her face, like if it were porcelain that fell to the ground to break into a thousand pieces. From the opening emanates a black smoke that seems to fight with the fog, and obtaining the victory since it begins to turn gray by each moment that passes.

I can't move, it's like if my feet are clinging to the ground, but that's the reason that allows me to see while this aforementioned 'fairy' turns into pieces in front of my eyes, each one sounding like glass while they touch the ground, revealing one of the demons I could see in a book about deities in the library, when I wanted to know a little about the kind of entities that Freddie's family has dealt with for generations, and I can't remember its name.

It's like a simple ball of black smoke, with an aura that surrounds it with purple and jet-black tones, its eyes are orange dots that contrast in a frightening way with all the grayish surroundings. It materializes like if it were a person, extremely thin, with claws on its hands and feet, a figure that performs violent movements from side to side, like a rag doll.

"I suppose you had something to do with my return to life" I say, like if meeting with creatures like this were part of my daily life, and I don't doubt that if mom had been the same kind of person than Freddie's father I would have to deal with their debts for my whole life.

"That's the way it is, my boy" its voice resembles a voice distorter, blending highs and lows with frequencies that make me feel goosebumps. In what kind of mess did the girls get into for this? "But that trio of horrible girls gave payments that weren't up to my level of services, and that's why you must finish the price so that, if you still want it, I can grant what you want".

"What did they give you that doesn't make you happy?" the orange spheres shrink in my direction, like if it narrowed its eyes to frighten me. And it succeeds.

"The purple-haired girl gave me her resistance to the affection, the blue-haired one wanted to give me her vanity although it's something deeply rooted in her to make her leave it so easily, and the Facilier girl is a liar who ended up filling my patience, so much that I didn't realize the useless pendant to enslave demons that she gave to me" its nebulous presence approaches to me, to revolve around me, touching my face sometimes; it is a cold entity, which increases my chills. "But from you, my boy, from you I expect only one thing, the affection you keep for that other boy who left the Isle with you, because there is nothing more delightful than seeing an authentic feeling like true love while it gets devoured by the jaws of the darkness, without it being able to regenerate".

Before I can say yes or no I feel something crossing my chest, with violence, like if something in me would prevent the access. The next moment my heartbeat accelerates, I begin to sweat with abundance, an excruciating pain takes hold of every fiber of my body while this thing laughs with its heart on it, like if seeing the suffering of others was as entertaining as whatever there may be, and in the world from which it comes it surely is.

It stands once more in front of me, moving the shadows with him, with some stuff that shines caught in its claw, something that produces dense smoke and a smell of burnt flesh, like if what it just took away from me, my love for Jay, was something that it can't sustain without being confronted by it.

"Now that I finally have what I was promised, are you sure you want me to grant your wish?" it says, smiling with sharp fangs while it throws into the air the small pebble it took from me, like if it were a coin.

"I'm sure, but I want to have memories of everything that happened, not them" I say, closing my eyelids again and feeling the cold sweat running behind my neck, going back to the uncertainty once more.

* * *

"If you get lost in there don't expect me to go in to get you" he says, releasing something like an exhalation of relief.

I swallow the lump in my throat while I feel that everything is spinning around me, one of the side effects that awkward wish just had. It has been granted, the only thing I really asked for has been granted…

That just means that this was the time when I made a serious mistake, and it's now when I must amend it. I know what happened, I know what will happen tomorrow when we reach Auradon, I know everything that will be triggered from now on, but the difference is that I know how to prevent it from happening.

"This isn't about you, Jay" I say, to not shorten everything that happened.

"Of course it is, that's why you're running away from me".

"For the record I'm not running away from you" I stop at last and turn on my heels, uncrossing my arms when I see that arrogant smile while he enjoys what he does, from the effect he has on me… from the effect he thinks he has on me because I just delivered what I felt for him in a barter. "I'm correcting something that shouldn't be happening".

"Anyway I suggest you to come back here, so if you want to stay alive".

I roll my eyes, turn around, and take a deep breath while I start to run toward the watchtower, following the path we have just taken and the path I must follow to amend. I hear him saying my name, no doubt he's running after me, but that's precisely what we do when a situation is new, we flee if we don't have a way to confront it.

"Carlos? What's going on?" Evie says when I stand in front of her, with Mal behind her, in fact following us, but I don't answer her since I keep running.

Because it's like I said before, it's written in a certain way in my genetic code and in each of my days to come now that I know what was in my future with all the decisions that were made by myself and by others: I'm a villain, and as such villains don't look out for happy endings.

And if it were for me, then I wouldn't want to leave the Isle, the fateful destiny will chase me wherever I go. As in everything, as always.

* * *

 _ **THE END**_


End file.
